“Please, call me Jane or Miss Jane, whichever you prefer,” she said and released him. She stepped back and looked him up and down, then winked at Dan and said, “You do have a knack for pickin’ handsome men.”
“Thank you,” Graham said.
“Good to see you, Mom.” Dan’s cheeks reddened.
She hugged Dan and winked at Graham. “I do love to tease him.”
Graham laughed. “You may be in trouble now,” he told Dan. “Now I know your secret. You’re a momma’s boy.”
“I’m sure you have a few secrets of your own for me to discover.”
Too close to home. Graham pushed the thought from his mind. What difference would it make now?
“Lacey,” Dan’s mother said, “will you help me with dinner tonight?”
Lacey nodded and ran into the house, nearly colliding with Dan’s father, whom Graham recognized from the triathlon finish line months before. “Grampa!” she shouted happily. He rubbed the top of her head and she started babbling to him about helping with dinner.
“Dad.” Dan gave his father a hug. “This is Graham Swann. Graham, this is my father, Bill Parker.”
“Good to meet you, Mr. Parker.” Graham offered his hand, and they shook.
“I hear you were at the race too,” Bill said.
“I was. Your son and I ran part of the course together.” Graham smiled at the memory. “He’d have left me in the dust, but he stopped to help a runner who’d hurt herself.”
Bill smiled knowingly. “That’s my Danny. Always helping, never thinking about himself.”
“Dad.” Dan shook his head. “Don’t listen to a thing he says.”
“I’ve got you two in Danny’s old room,” Jane said. “Lacey’s got her own room, doesn’t she?”
“Gamma and I decrated it together,” Lacey said with obvious pride. “It’s my favorite color.”
“It’s very purple,” Dan explained. “Lots of stuffed animals, and the curtains match the bedspread. My mom sewed them herself.”
“You’ll have to show me,” Graham said.
“Later,” Dan’s mother put in. “Right now, we’ll let Graham and your father rest a bit. I’m sure y’all’re tired from driving.”
“Do you need any help with dinner?” Graham asked.
“Lacey’s going to help. You two get settled in. Later you can bring some wood in for the fire.” Jane glanced at Bill. “Bill’s back’s been hurtin’ him, and I’ve told him in no uncertain terms that he’s not allowed to haul the logs inside.”
Dan’s father rolled his eyes, but he smiled and said, “If you ever wonder who’s the boss of this house, look no further.”
Jane shook her head and waved dismissively. “Come along, Lacey. We’ve got some cookin’ to tend to.”
Dan led Graham to a small room at the back of the house. “This was mine,” he announced. “Not that you’d mistake it for someone else’s.” A long shelf filled with trophies and awards lined the walls about a foot from the ceiling.
“Impressive.”
Dan shrugged. “They added this after I left home. I’m just thankful these didn’t end up on display in the living room.”
“They’re probably really proud of what you accomplished. Is it hard to look back?”
“I don’t know. At little, I guess. I enjoyed playing. I can look at all this now and remember the good with the bad. It feels distant, like a part of me I grew out of, like shedding a shell that was too small for me. It’s almost surreal.”
“And what’s up with the twin beds?”
“They bought the other one when I brought Benn home the first time.” Dan shook his head and sat on one of them. “I think it would have been the same if I’d brought a woman home I wasn’t married to. They’re pretty traditional that way.”
Graham sat next to Dan and covered his hand with his own.
“Thanks,” Dan said after a long silence.
“For what?”
“For understanding. For listening.” Dan leaned over and kissed him.
Graham sighed. “When you do that, it’s hard for me to think, you know.”
“Good.” Dan kissed him again, this time pushing him down onto the bed.
“Is this okay?” Graham asked as their lips parted.
“You mean sharing a room? Or me kissing you?”
Graham chuckled. “Both, I guess.”
“My mom put us here together,” Dan pointed out. “But my parents are probably still a little uncomfortable with it. Realizing your kid has sex is a little like the kid realizing his parents do too.”
“Fair enough.” Graham pulled Dan on top of him. “But I think we need a bit more practice.”
“You do?” Dan worked his fingers through Graham’s hair. Graham closed his eyes and sighed.
“Yes.”
Dan straddled Graham’s thighs and began to unbutton his shirt. “Like this?”
“You’re getting better at it.” Graham opened his eyes again and grinned up at him. “But I still think you need more practice.”
Dan ran his thumbs over Graham’s lips.
“Lacey, where are you, sweetheart?” Dan’s mother called from down the hallway.
Graham raised an eyebrow. “You sure you’re okay with where this is going?”
Dan smiled sheepishly. “Okay. Maybe this isn’t the time for me to, ah, practice.” He slipped off of Graham and sat with his back against the wall.
Graham sat up and leaned his head on Dan’s shoulder. “I imagined doing things like that in my room.” He sighed and relaxed as Dan wrapped his arms around him. It felt so good like this. The way he’d once imagined being in a relationship might feel. Warm. Comforting. Intimate.
“I did too.” Dan gazed at the trophies. “Once, when my folks were out of town, I brought a girl back here. I think I was a sophomore. I may have been seventeen.”
“And?” Graham bumped Dan’s arm and smiled.
“And nothing.” Dan sighed. “We were in the den, watching some cheesy movie on Lifetime, and started making out. I got to second base and realized squishy breasts were anything but a turn-on. Not that it was a surprise, really. I’d never thought about a woman that way. When I jacked off, I was thinking about Mark Wahlberg.”
“Planet of the Apes.”
“You saw it too?” Dan laughed.
“I probably shouldn’t admit to that level of geekdom.”
“You don’t seem the geek type.”
Graham shrugged. “Neither do you. Popular kid, football star….”
“How do you know I was popular?”
“I… I just guessed. Most quarterbacks are.” Total bullshit answer. Things felt so comfortable with Dan. It was too easy to let him in.
Why not tell him? What was the worst that could happen? You end up having to spend Thanksgiving by yourself at a cheap hotel because he’s kicked your ass on the street. Okay, so maybe now wasn’t the time to come clean. Besides, this was about listening to Dan.
“I was always worried someone would find out about me,” Dan said. “My first time with a man was my first year in college, at a bar two towns over. Behind the dumpster. I was stupid. He said he’d use protection, but he didn’t. I was lucky as hell. For a while there, I really thought I was going to die.”
Graham slipped an arm around Dan’s shoulders. He looked suddenly small, like the high school kid Graham remembered. Something stirred in Graham’s chest, like the flutter of a heartbeat, but it spread to his arms, warming them and making them ache. His own past lingered at the periphery of his thoughts. High school had been horrible. But in spite of that, he’d never hidden who he was.
For the first time, Graham truly longed to tell Dan about the past. “I’m sorry it had to be that way” was all he said.
“It was a long time ago.” Dan smiled.
“Daddy!”
Dan got to his feet and opened the door while Graham rebuttoned his shirt. Lacey ran inside and hopped onto the bed. She carried a book. “Read
me a story.”
“Lacey,” Graham said with a knowing glance at Dan, “what do you say?”
“Please?” She made the face Dan lovingly called the “I’m-cute-so-I-can-get-away-with-anything smile of doom.”
“You got it.” Graham opened the book.
“I’m going to see if my mom needs any help.” Dan stopped in the doorway, turned around, and said, “Thanks. For listening.”
“Any time.” Why did it feel so damn good to hear those words?
Lacey tugged on Graham’s sleeve. “Mr. Graham, Mr. Graham,” she chanted and pointed to the book.
“Lacey…,” Dan began.
“I know,” she said. “Pleeeeez.”
Dan nodded and winked at Graham.
“Got it.” Graham focused once more on the book, or rather he tried to. Something kept pulling him back to that feeling in his chest, warm and happy.
Chapter Twenty-Six
“THANK you, Lord, for the bounty of this Thanksgiving meal,” Jane said as they bowed their heads. “Thank you for bringing us all together in this place and for watching over us. And thank you for the gift of family, Lord. For Lacey and Dan, and for Graham. May they find happiness and health and grow together in your love. Amen.”
“Is it time to eat?” Lacey asked.
“Definitely.” Jane stood and motioned to the sidebar. “We do this like a cafeteria, Graham. Self-serve.”
“Perfect,” Graham said. “Can you show me what there is, Lacey?”
Lacey nodded and led Graham over to the food. “This is turkey,” she said, pointing to the huge platter filled with meat. “This is cranberries. This is sweet potato. It has marshmallows that I put in. This is string beans. And this is sticky cinmon buns.” She grinned. “I helped Gamma roll them up.”
“Looks incredible.” Graham smiled at Jane, who beamed. “You and your grandmother did a wonderful job.”
“Thank you.” Jane patted Lacey on the head. “I had a great helper.”
“So Graham,” Bill said as they ate, “Dan tells me you have a place not far from here.”
“Near the Parkway,” Graham confirmed.
“A log cabin?” Jane asked.
“Yes. I was looking for something small. Maybe something old that needed work,” Graham explained.
“So you found it?” Dan asked. “Put in plumbing and tore down the outhouse?”
“Not exactly.” Graham felt suddenly ill at ease. “It’s a little bit, ah, newer.”
“What’s an outhouse?” Lacey asked.
“It’s a toilet,” Dan explained. “But it’s outside the house, and it’s usually a little building over a big hole.”
Lacey made a face. “Ewww.”
Graham laughed. “I’m with you on that, Lacey.”
“So it has air-conditioning?” Judging by the crooked grin on his face, Dan had clearly figured out the cabin wasn’t particularly cabin-like.
“Yes.”
“Sounds lovely,” Jane put in. “I’ve been pesterin’ Bill for years to put air-conditioning in this place.”
Bill frowned. “Janey, we’ve had this discussion a million times. It’s not worth it for the ten days a year it gets too hot.”
“Your father is as stubborn as ever.”
Bill snorted and continued to eat, but Graham had the definite impression that the argument was a friendly one.
“Dan tells me you like fishing, Bill,” Graham said.
“I do love to fish. Don’t catch much. Ever since they closed the paper mill upstream, we don’t get as many fish here.”
“You’re welcome to use the cabin anytime you’d like. Fishing’s great up there. Mostly trout. A few bluegill.” Graham glanced at Jane and added, “And you would probably enjoy the hot tub.”
“Indeed she would,” Jane said and raised an eyebrow in her husband’s direction.
“I have someone who checks on the property for me,” Graham explained. “I’ll leave his contact info with you.”
“Can I come too?” Lacey asked.
“Lacey,” Dan said and held up a tissue, “your nose is running. Blow for me?”
Lacey made a face but did as she was told. “I want to come too.”
“I don’t see why not,” Graham said. “There’s room for six, if someone sleeps on the couch.”
“Maybe we could all go there sometime,” Dan added brightly. “Like a mini family reunion.”
“Sounds perfect,” Jane said. “Seconds, anyone?”
“More sticky buns!” Lacey shouted.
Jane looked to Dan, who nodded. “Come here and pick one out,” Jane said.
“This one.” Lacey pointed to the largest.
“She won’t be able to finish it,” Dan whispered to Graham. “But that’s okay.”
LATER, Graham lay with his head on Dan’s chest. The sun had set. “I can’t believe it’s only six,” Graham said with a yawn.
“The Parker family always takes a siesta after the big meal.” Dan laughed, then added, “Then we regroup for the first round of leftovers at eight.”
“Eight at night? Seriously?”
“I kid you not.” He pulled Graham closer.
“There’s no way I could eat another bite today. I’d explode.”
“Mostly we finish the leftover wine. Although I’m sure Lacey will have another one of those sticky buns. She’s pretty predictable. At least they don’t make her sick like cotton candy and hot dogs.”
Graham sighed. “A most unfortunate mixture.”
“Indeed.” Dan kissed his head.
“I’ve decided I like twin beds.”
Dan eyed him with disbelief. “You do?”
“I don’t need an excuse to invade your space.”
“As if you’d ever need an excuse.” Dan grinned. “Does this mean you’re enjoying yourself?”
“I like your folks. I think I’ve missed having family to spend Thanksgiving with. Terri usually invites me to her folks’ place in Virginia, but I’ve always avoided it.”
“Why am I not surprised?”
Graham shrugged. “I’m not great meeting new people.”
“Lacey said you told her that.”
Graham’s cheek heated. “It’s true, although if I’d known she was your kid—”
“I’d’ve figured it out without her help.” Dan kissed Graham’s cheek. “The cool-and-above-it-all act doesn’t hold up.”
“Is that how it comes off?”
“Pretty much.”
Graham shook his head and sighed. “I don’t mean to be that way. It’s just easier, sometimes.”
“That’s bull if I’ve ever heard it.”
“Pushing your luck, aren’t you?”
Dan kissed Graham again. “Just tellin’ it as I see it. Avoiding people isn’t easier in the long run.”
“Maybe not.” Graham had expected he’d regret getting so deeply involved with Dan and Lacey.
“You’re stubborn, you know.”
“Pretty much. Yep.” Graham closed his eyes. “And I’m falling asleep.”
“I’d sort of figured that out, too.”
Graham nodded off to sleep with a smile on his face.
“What are you doing, standing there?” someone shouted from an open window on the fourth floor of the school.
Graham couldn’t make out his face, but he immediately recognized the voice. “Dan?”
“I’ve been waiting for you. Come on upstairs.”
Graham walked up to the main doors and inside the building. It was as he remembered it: off-white walls with a greenish tinge, lockers that had once been painted in bright pastels that now were chipped and faded. There was no one inside.
“Dan?”
Nobody answered. He climbed the stairs. He’d find Dan and they’d get out of here.
“Dan? It’s Graham. How about we go back to your parents’? I bet Lacey’s waiting for—”
“Hi, Zebby.”
Graham turned to see a group of football players sta
nding at the top of the stairs, blocking his way. “I don’t know who you’re talking about.”
“You think we don’t know?” Van said and walked down a tread.
“He thinks we don’t know who he is,” another said. Laughter echoed through the stairwell.
“We know you, Zebby. You think you can pretend to be someone else, but we still know. We know what a little shit you are. We know how you lie.”
“You lie, Zebby,” Mark said. “You’re lying to him, and you’re lying to yourself. You just think no one notices.” Several of the players moved down another step.
Graham looked around, intending to get away by heading down the stairs, but they were suddenly on the roof of the building, and his feet were inches from the edge.
“He notices,” Van said. “And he thinks you’re a little shit too. He’s just stringing you along. When he finds out who you are, he’ll cut you loose and laugh.”
The boys laughed and came closer. Graham backed away, his heels against the small lip at the edge of the building. He needed to get out of here. He couldn’t breathe.
“Please. You have the wrong person. That’s not me, it’s not—”
Mark shoved Graham hard in the chest. He struggled to maintain his balance but stepped backward. Instead of concrete, there was only air.
He fell….
“No!” Graham said loudly enough to wake himself up.
“Graham? Are you all right?” Dan peered at him through the semidarkness.
“I. Yes. Shit, I’m sorry I woke you. I must have been dreaming.”
Dan had gotten out of bed and slipped into the bathroom. He returned a moment later with a glass of water. “My mom always gave me water when I had a bad dream,” he said as he handed it to Graham. “She said it washes away the darkness.”
“Thanks.” His face heated with embarrassment. Just when he thought he’d been doing pretty well with being back in his old hometown, he’d made a total fool of himself.
“You okay?” Dan asked a few minutes later.
“Fine,” Graham said. Well, he would be once they left this place. “I’m pretty sure I just ate too much.”
Dan tapped his bed. “Join me?”
“As if you had to ask.” Graham crawled in beside Dan. It was a tight fit, but that was just what Graham needed.
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