Daisy is openly sobbing now and Lucian walks over to her and puts a supporting hand on her back. “That’s the memory Rose believes is a dream,” I say, and she nods through her tears.
“That’s the only time I ever saw her, and I was screaming her name as he took her away.” After she composes herself, she adds, “I had next to nothing to do with my parents after I left home. You know that I went on to marry Joel, and as much as I loved him, I never told him about her. I was too ashamed. After all, I had sold my baby.”
“You didn’t sell your baby,” I interject firmly. “They took her from you. And I plan to find out why. There’s more to this story, and it’s time we figure out what the ultimate agenda was all those years ago.”
“Absolutely,” Lucian agrees.
“One thing I’m curious about,” I begin. “Do you have any idea why they didn’t legally adopt Rose? Were they afraid you’d say something to the judge if they tried?”
She shakes her head, then shrugs. “I’ve wondered how they got away with that. They never mentioned anything to me about the possibility, and I never signed any papers. In the years since, I’ve often thought that they seemed almost desperate for Poppy, which I find strange seeing as both Celia and Hoyt appeared to loathe children. They never even asked me who the father was, so I don’t think they had any reason to suspect it was Camden.”
“Have you never thought of contacting him since finding the letters?” Lucian asks.
“And say what?” she states flatly. She then turns to study me before asking, “Are you going to tell Rose about me?” She looks equal parts hopeful and terrified.
“I am,” I say. “I can’t hide something like this from her. She deserves to know.” I don’t tell Daisy about my fear that this will push Rose to cut again. This woman may be her mother, but she’s also essentially a stranger and I won’t share something like that with her.
Daisy fidgets nervously before taking a breath. “I … I’m here if you need me.” She grabs a piece of paper from a nearby desk and writes something on it before handing it to me. “That’s my cell phone number. I realize that she’ll likely hate me, but if, for some reason, she wants to talk, please call me.”
Lucian and I stay for a few more moments to make sure she’s going to be okay before we leave. Lucian turns to me and says, “Drop me at the office and then head home. Take some time to think everything through before Rose gets there.” I’ve just shifted the car into drive when Lucian’s phone rings. He answers and then shoots me a glance. “Don, how are you?” I feel my chest tighten. “No, we just left Daisy’s office. Tell me what you’ve got. If you have answers, we need them now.”
By the end of what seems like an hour, but is only about ten minutes, I’m grinding my teeth together and ready to choke my best friend. Whatever Don has found out, it’s certainly taking a long time to relay. When Lucian finally ends the call and sits silently in the passenger seat, I prompt him impatiently. “Well?”
Lucian points toward a Target store in the distance and says, “Pull in there and we’ll talk. I’d rather you not hit anyone while we’re talking.”
I bite my tongue and take the next right. After another few moments and some erratic maneuvering, I slide into a space at the top of the parking lot and cut the engine. “All right, let’s hear it.”
“When Don was digging into Hoyt’s past, he came across a copy of his father’s will. He had died the year before Rose was born. There was a surprise codicil made to the will. Hoyt had to produce a Madden heir within three years or the entire estate would be distributed among a list of charities. I have no idea if she couldn’t have children or simply didn’t want to, but Celia was never pregnant and I’m guessing Hoyt was desperate.”
“Daisy was like an answer to his prayers,” I muse. “He must have felt like he’d hit the fucking lottery. And her father stealing from him was the golden ticket.”
“Yeah, I’m guessing it was almost exactly like that. But, as hard as it may be to believe, that’s not the most interesting part of the will,” Lucian adds cryptically.
Fuck, the man has been spending too much time speaking with Don. Pulling. Teeth. “Well?” I prompt, impatient to hear the rest. “Old Wilton Madden, it seems, had a bit of a mean streak where his only son was concerned. If Hoyt produced an heir, he was allowed to keep the family fortune until the heir—Rose—turned twenty-one. At that time, she would gain controlling interest, and Hoyt would receive a set allowance. Anything else would be up to Rose.”
“But Rose doesn’t have any money,” I state, confused.
Lucian shifts in his seat before leveling a stare at me. “That’s the tricky part. According to the records, Rose signed everything over to Hoyt on her twenty-first birthday. The papers were drawn up by a downtown law firm and filed with the court. We need to find out if she was somehow coerced into that or if it was done of her own free will. I know she’s been under her father’s thumb, so it’s quite possible she signed anything he put in front of her.”
“She wouldn’t have wanted to disappoint him,” I agree, feeling nauseous. Shit, when does this mess end?
“You have to talk to her tonight,” Lucian reminds me. “I was on the fence for a while about it, but there’s way too much going on here for her not to know. Hell, I’d like nothing better than to call the police and have Don turn over everything we know to them. But ultimately, Rose needs the voice that has been denied her and so does Daisy.”
I promise to call Lucian later and let him know where things stand with Rose. After I drop him at the office, I drive to the house that has become a home since she moved in. A pang hits me as I wonder if that will be over after tonight. How will she react to the news I have for her? Celia’s timing in reaching out to Rose makes a lot of sense to me now. Hoyt was probably nervous about losing control of her and ordered his wife to bring her back into the fold. Since her father’s visit, Rose has almost been the sassy, quick-witted, bold woman I first met. Watching her unguarded joy at her mother’s apparent initiation for a relationship had been difficult, especially knowing that moment of contentment was going to be brief if what I suspected was true. Now that it’s come to pass, will she be able to forgive what she might perceive as betrayal? Has she gained enough strength from seeing Joanna to be able to recover as everything she knows goes up in ashes? Will she still love me?
* * *
I’m surprised to see Max already home when I arrive. I generally make it first, unless I stop off along the way. I drop my purse on the kitchen counter and go in search of him. I’ve checked all the rooms and have my cell phone out to call him when I walk by a window that looks out into the backyard. And it’s there I see him, sitting on the arbor swing that we so rarely use. I smile to myself and quickly go to join him. “Hey, handsome,” I call as I get closer to him. I drop down next to him on the wooden seat and wait for him to embrace me. He hesitates before he drops a tense arm around my shoulder. He silently moves the swing with his foot, and I lay my head on his shoulder, curious about his unusual mood.
When he finally says, “I don’t know how to tell you this,” my heart nearly jumps through my throat.
“What is it?” I manage to squeak out. Oh dear God, he’s breaking up with me. That’s what this is. I stiffen, trying to pull away, but he tightens his grip.
“It’s not what you think,” he rushes out. “Hell, it couldn’t possibly be whatever is running through your head, trust me.”
I still as his words reach me. “You need to tell me before I freak out,” I say, proud my voice doesn’t betray the squeezing anxiety that I feel. Oh, how I wish I could take those words back as minutes later, he takes what little certainty I’ve always had in my life and obliterates it. He’s looking at me now in near panic as I attempt to process his last question.
“Did I sign over my inheritance to my parents?” I repeat as if testing the words. “No, I haven’t inherited anything. I have nothing.” I have nothing. Breathe, Rose. Accept the anxiety
. Don’t fight it. I have nothing. Dark spots. Watch the anxiety. Imagine it’s outside of you. I have nothing. Clammy. Act normal. Carry on as if nothing is happening.
“Rose, baby, are you okay?” he asks as he cradles me in his lap.
Then I feel it.
My protective mechanism is kicking in and the public Rose—that I’ve always shown to the world—is emerging. Instead of hating it, I find comfort in the total blankness that descends upon me. I give him a bright smile that has no substance behind it and push his arms away to stand. “I’m fine,” I say. “It’s getting late, so I’ll go make dinner. You stay out here and enjoy the sunset; it looks beautiful.” Oh, how pretentious and rehearsed those words sound. Just like my mother. He gapes at me as I turn to walk away, but I don’t care. I’m in the place right now where nothing can hurt. God help me when I can feel again because I don’t think any amount of cutting can relieve the feelings lurking just below the surface.
18
Max
Lucian and I look over the information Don faxed earlier that morning. It’s the name and address of the attorney who handled Wilton Madden’s will, as well as the contract Rose supposedly signed bequeathing her inheritance. In the brief time before she turned into a Stepford wife, she claimed to have no knowledge of having ever signed anything like that.
“How’s she doing?” Lucian asks, looking grave. I’d told him that evening about Rose’s strange reaction to my revelation, and as the days have passed, we’ve all grown more concerned.
“It’s bizarre and a little unsettling,” I admit. “On the surface, it’s almost as if nothing has happened. The difference is any affection between us is very impersonal. She hugs me when I get home and asks how my day was, but that’s it as far as contact goes. She chatters on about her day and the fucking weather, then goes to bed early—in the spare room. I spend the night walking the floor, wondering if she’s okay. Then tiptoeing into her room and checking on her a dozen times. It’s been a week, and when I look at her, there’s nothing there but blank space. Her walls are up, and they are taller than ever. What about at work? Has Lia gotten any reaction at all from her?”
Lucian shakes his head. “None. She says that she’s cheerful and upbeat there, but also distant at the same time. Apparently, she’s not even discussing our dick sizes, which Lia says is very alarming.”
I rub a hand down my face and grin for the first time in what feels like months. Then, just as quickly, I’m overwhelmed again. “You know, I’ve gone back and forth as to how to deal with this. A part of me feels I’m being selfish to want to force some reaction out of her. I mean, if this is how she can handle it without cutting, shouldn’t I leave it be? But then, I can’t stand the thought of the beautiful woman I know her to be hiding away from the world. Especially when in a state of distress. I want her to have the mother she always needed and to know that the people who raised, but never appreciated her are not her biological parents.”
“I don’t know, Max,” Lucian admits. “You’ve spoken to Joanna. What was her take on it?”
“She thinks I should gently confront her in a controlled environment like our home and see where it goes. She’s afraid that otherwise, one day Rose will crack and there may be no one around to deal with the potential fallout.”
“Then you talk to her tonight,” Lucian says, looking as nervous about the prospect as I feel. “After you do, though, Max, you need to watch her carefully. She won’t like it, and she may rage at you, but this is bigger than anything she’s ever dealt with before and we have no idea how she will react.”
“I know that,” I snap, then give him an apologetic look. I get to my feet, and as I have for the last week, I drive home with a heavy heart and a feeling of hopelessness. I feel her slipping away from me, and I don’t know how to stop it. Tonight, I fear I’ll poke a hornet’s nest that has been waiting for just such a moment to attack. I can only hope there’ll be survivors when it’s over.
* * *
The creepy smiling version of Rose with the empty eyes is putting dinner on the table when I arrive home. I take a moment to get my game face on, then ask pleasantly, “How was your day, dear?” Shit, I want to cringe. Dear? When have I ever called her that? It’s always baby, sweetheart, honey, or something along those lines. I’m turning into a Stepford husband as well.
“Very good,” she answers as if on autopilot. “And yours?”
“It fucking sucked just as the entire last week has,” I blurt out before I even know what’s happened.
She blinks at me like an owl trying to process my words. “I … what?” she stutters out.
I’m probably completely screwing this up, but she’s actually showing some reaction other than that hollow façade. So I press on. Moving close enough to where I’m invading her personal space, I add, “Yeah, having to watch you check out and act like a bad imitation of Martha Stewart hasn’t exactly been a picnic for me, cupcake. I know you’re all fucked up inside and are trying to hide from it, but that shit’s not gonna fly around here any longer. Starting tonight, we’re going to air things out. I’ll tell you exactly how I’m feeling, and I’d love nothing more than for you to return the favor.” When she opens her mouth, I quickly add, “And the word fine better not be a part of your vocabulary.” Her jaws snap shut so fast that I swear, I hear her teeth grinding together.
“But … dinner’s ready.” She points toward the pans on the stove. When I see mashed potatoes in one of them, I begin laughing. Of course, she would fix the blandest dish she could think of. No taste or color allowed in her world right now.
Continuing to push the envelope, I walk over and take the handle of the first pot and toss it in the trash. She gasps audibly behind me as I follow suit with the pot roast. Shit, that pan was hot, I think as I try not to wince. I lean against the counter and cross my ankles as I await her reaction. When she moves to the cabinet and begins surveying the contents, I fear I’ll have a stroke on the spot. Her walls are still holding, despite the shock value of the last few minutes. So I go with verbal communication next in hopes of jarring her a little more. “I’ll tell you what I’d really like for dinner. How about some communication followed by a side of emotion? Now, that’s something I could really sink my teeth into. Or do you plan to continue the Prozac Barbie imitation you’re so good at because I gotta tell you—”
“FUCK YOU!” she yells so suddenly that I jump. And then she begins throwing stuff in my direction. I duck as cans, boxes, and everything in between sails past my head or bounces off my arms. “Is this what you wanted, asshole?” she shrieks. Profanity spills from her lips in a non-stop torrent, and I hate to admit it, but I’m equal parts impressed, relieved, and a bit turned on. I block her air attack as best I can but make no move to stop her. She’s finally showing some emotion, and I’ll gladly take the black eye or whatever I end up with if it’ll help her process what’s happened.
She continues on longer than I would have imagined her capable of before sliding down the cabinet and collapsing limply to the floor. Then heartbreaking, wrenching sobs shake her small frame as she cries like she’ll never stop. It’s then that I throw caution to the wind and approach her. She fights me weakly as I attempt to pull her into my arms, but finally relents and allows me to cradle her against my chest like a child. I go straight to our bed where we’ve had some of our most important talks and simply let her purge the anguish from her soul. She weeps until I fear she’ll make herself sick. Then thankfully, the storm tapers into sniffles and then silence.
I have no idea what to expect now, so I continue to rub her back soothingly before finally asking, “What can I do to help you, baby?”
I’m afraid I’ll feel a knee to my balls at any moment, so I’m pleasantly surprised when she turns her head to my ear and whimpers, “Don’t let me go tonight, Max. I can’t be strong right now.”
Joanna had suggested non-confronting and gentle. Well, we all know how that panned out. But it worked. Literally smashing into he
r walls broke them down. Despite what she says, she is strong and resilient. But together … together we’re stronger. We can do this. I curl my body protectively around hers and begin rocking her. “I’ve got you, sweetheart—always.” She doesn’t say another word; she falls asleep, no doubt exhausted. I doze a few times, but jerk awake to make certain she’s still with me. My eyes are burning and my throat is dry as the first light of early morning begins filling the bedroom. Against all odds, we’ve made it through the night and she’s back in my arms. Today, I’ll begin the challenging task of making sure she stays there, no matter what battles I have to undertake.
19
Rose
Max gives me a look full of love and wariness as he hands me a cup of coffee. He’s probably frightened after last night that I’ll throw it in his face. And I’ll admit that the urge is there, but I love the man, no matter how much I resent him for fucking up my life. What life? You can’t stand your fake parents, and they certainly have never had any love lost for you. You should give the man a medal for finding you a new mommy.
“Good morning, sweetheart,” he says softly as he sits beside me on the sofa. “I let Lucian and Lia both know we wouldn’t be in today. I hope that’s all right with you.”
I can tell he expects me to be pissed off at his high-handedness, but I’m actually relieved. I need to work some stuff out in my head before I face my best friend. I love her dearly, but I know she’d handle me with kid gloves and I’m too weary to deal with more sympathy.
“Could you please go over everything that you told me about my parents and the … other woman … from beginning to end? I’d like to attempt to process it again.” He seems surprised by my request, but like the outstanding lawyer he is, he covers each point clearly and concisely and pauses to answer any of my questions before continuing on. By the end, my hand is clutching the coffee mug I’m holding as if it alone can anchor me against the storm. “And you spoke to the woman who gave me away face-to-face?” I can’t call her my mother. Hell, I didn’t even know she existed until a week ago.
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