“Papa, you’re being unfair,” Roma interjected in an unsteady voice. “I—”
“Roma, you will not defend this woman.” He spat the last two words as if they described a creature lower than mud. “You will not ever mention her to me.”
“But, Papa—”
“My lady, don’t,” Olivia said, trying to deflect his anger even as her heart fractured into two bloody halves. The agony was excruciating. “This is between your father and me.”
She succeeded too well. She staggered as furious silver eyes incinerated her. His voice seared. “You’ve exceeded the bounds of propriety, Olivia. You’ve exceeded the bounds of acceptability, even.”
Hard to believe he’d held her tenderly through the night as she sobbed out her misery over her brother’s betrayal. Hard to believe he’d been so deep inside her that she thought he’d touched her soul. Hard to believe they’d laughed and shared a bond that could almost have been friendship.
“My lord, listen to me,” she said urgently. “I didn’t invite Lady Roma here. She came of her own free will. She realizes how foolish she’s been. She’ll never do it again. Your chastisement serves no purpose.”
He arched his eyebrows with dismissive hauteur as if he caught her out in a lie. “So how did she know where to find you?”
He was pale with fury and a muscle jerked spasmodically in his cheek. She knew concern for his daughter underlay his overwhelming anger. But nothing could excuse either his accusations or his attitude.
If this was his love, it was worthless.
She called on the pride that had sustained her for so long and drew herself up to her full height. Her spine was so rigid, she thought it might snap. She relinquished her grip on the chair. She didn’t need any support but her own outrage.
“The girl has ears, my lord.” Then she added in an acid tone, “Apparently she’s used them to listen to a lot of unsuitable gossip.”
Julian had reached a pitch of anger where her tone and her use of formal address made no impression. He seemed blind to anything but his own fury. He loomed closer, a menacing, masculine presence, and fixed his fierce gray gaze upon his daughter. “Roma, we’re leaving now.”
The girl backed away awkwardly. “I don’t want to go.”
“I don’t give a damn what you want. I’m more worried about what you need. From what I see, that’s a keeper.” He clenched his fists at his sides and spoke in a harsh voice. “Good God, girl, you’re getting married in a few weeks. You’ll soon have children of your own, yet you act like a child yourself.”
Lady Roma abruptly ended her retreat and stiffened her shoulders. She scowled at her father. “You wouldn’t know how I acted as a child. You were never there.”
“Don’t start, Roma,” he growled, his brows drawing together in a ferocious scowl. “I’m not in the mood.”
“When will you be in the mood?”
Olivia had already witnessed Lady Roma’s foolhardy courage when her temper was up. If she didn’t quickly halt the escalating argument, father and daughter would destroy any chance for reconciliation.
“Lady Roma, Lord Erith, please sit down,” she said in the tone that always quelled Perry’s wilder companions.
Julian glowered from under his lowered brows. He bit his response out as if he could hardly bear to speak to her. “I’m taking my daughter home.”
“Not in the state she’s in right now, you’re not,” Olivia said with equal firmness. “Lord Erith, you’re acting like an ass.”
“Curb your tongue, madam. I’m acting as any father would. She’s my daughter. Damn it, you have no rights in this matter.”
She struggled to contain the acrid nausea that swam in her belly. How could he speak to her so patronizingly, with such loathing? He’d begged her to trust him yet he betrayed her with every poisonous word.
She swallowed and forced an answer out through her tight throat. “No rights, perhaps. But any fool can see you both need to calm down before you face the world.”
“Devil take you, I will not treat this lightly,” he snapped.
She gestured to the sofa against the wall, away from the chaotic battlefield of the tea table. Her voice hardened as she turned to Julian. “Lord Erith, pray control your temper in my house.”
With a heavy heart, she waited for him to insist the house was his, as he paid for it. But even furious as he was, he wasn’t as far gone in anger as that.
She watched him fight for composure. If he hadn’t trampled her feelings in the dust, she might have felt sorry for him. He only wanted to protect his daughter. That wasn’t a sin.
His sin, and it was irredeemable, was that he’d made Olivia believe he respected and loved her, when clearly he did neither.
After a delay, he spoke more evenly. His jaw worked as he fought for control. His anger was still only barely leashed. “Your pardon, Olivia. Of course you didn’t invite my daughter here. Roma’s thoughtlessness has dragged you into my family troubles. I realize you have no wish to be involved.”
He just condemned himself further. Of course she was involved. She loved him. He said he loved her.
She hid her surging pain and sent him the disdainful courtesan’s stare that had cowed so many men before him. “Your daughter is welcome to call whenever she wishes.”
Roma’s mouth fell open in surprise. “I…I am?”
“I don’t expect you to take up the invitation.” Olivia sent her a small reassuring smile then narrowed her eyes at Julian. “I refuse to throw a distraught girl out on the street just because some bully insists I must.”
“Some bully?” Indignant color darkened his cheeks. “What the blazes do you mean by that?”
“I mean that if you don’t sit down as I’ve requested, my lord, I will ask my servants to show you the door.”
He flinched and the overwhelming, unthinking rage seeped from his face. For the first time since he’d stalked into the room, he really looked at her. She saw the exact moment when he realized what he’d done. Shock and regret seeped into the silver eyes, turning them a flat iron gray.
She kept her expression determinedly neutral, but damn him, he knew her well enough to penetrate any mask. Pray God he wouldn’t guess her desolation. She refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing how mortally he’d wounded her.
Dear heaven, why had he been so cruel? Did he have to shred her soul?
He had every reason to be angry. But he must know she’d never do anything to harm him or his. He must know when he treated her as a harlot, he shattered any trust that had ever existed between them.
He slumped as the bristling self-righteousness drained from his body. “Oh, hell, Olivia, I’m sorry. You don’t deserve this. I’m acting like a savage.”
He sounded dismayed, upset. He sounded like the wonderful, considerate, passionate lover who turned her nights to incandescence.
Bitterness surged up to choke her. How could he still act like he cared when he was false to the core? He told her he loved her yet it was apparent at the deepest level that he felt nothing but contempt for her.
He ran his hand through his hair, leaving himself charmingly disheveled. But Olivia was a long way from being charmed. She sought the core of steel within her. The core that had helped her survive trials that would destroy most women.
She turned to the girl who watched them with a mixture of trepidation and wild curiosity. “Lady Roma, will you please sit down? I’ll arrange for more tea and have the servants clean up this mess.”
“The rug is ruined,” the girl said blankly.
The rug, the tea set, and undoubtedly her life were ruined, Olivia wanted to say. But she stifled the words. The afternoon had already provided enough histrionics.
“It doesn’t matter.” Olivia gestured toward the sofa. The girl finally moved across and sat down. Praying for control, Olivia turned back to Julian. “My lord?”
With unconcealed impatience, he went across and threw himself down next to his daughter. Olivia rang the
bell and tense silence reigned while her efficient staff—who sadly, she would miss—did a makeshift job of cleaning up broken china and spilled food and drink.
By the time the servants left, Julian had stopped fuming and Lady Roma no longer looked torn between bursting into another storm of weeping or attacking her father with one of the fire irons.
Olivia wished she felt like doing violence to him. As time went on, anger seethed more powerfully. But far sharper than anger was lancing pain.
He’d created something precious then smashed it without thought to consequences.
She wished to heaven she’d never met him.
“Tea, Latham,” she said when finally the mess was under control.
“No.” Julian stood, his air of command in place once more. He waited for the butler to leave before he continued. Chillingly, his coldness and steely lack of emotion reminded her of the man who had offered her carte blanche at Perry’s. She hadn’t liked that man. “Olivia, I need to get Roma home. The longer she’s here, the more risk of someone talking. The servants are loyal but…”
“They’re servants,” Olivia finished for him. She strove for a veneer of civilization. What point screaming that he’d broken her heart and devastated her life? Her only choice was to pick up the tattered remains of her existence and move on.
Julian turned to his daughter. “Was it just silly curiosity that brought you here? If so, indulging it may cost you more than you’d like to pay.”
He didn’t sound angry anymore. Instead he sounded disappointed to the bone. A humiliated flush rose in Lady Roma’s cheeks, and she sent Olivia an uncomfortable glance. “I wanted to talk to Miss Raines.”
Surprise arched Olivia’s eyebrows. That a young lady of such standing would refer to her so respectfully astonished her. Especially when Lady Roma had begun the meeting calling her “whore” and “harlot.”
Olivia’s respect for the girl rose another notch. Yes, she was spoiled and thoughtless, but there was quality in Lady Roma too. She just hoped Julian wouldn’t break her spirit before the quality had a chance to shine.
“I can’t imagine what about,” Julian said shortly.
Olivia hid a wince. Of course a filthy slut and his sweet innocent daughter had nothing in common. Except their love for him. And he wouldn’t reckon that in his assessment.
“Leave her alone, my lord,” she said coldly. “She knows she shouldn’t have come, and she won’t do it again.” She moved across to stand at Lady Roma’s side. “Your father’s right, my lady. I’ll take you upstairs to wash your face and hands and then you must go.”
“Thank you.” Lady Roma rose to her feet.
Olivia glanced at Julian. Her voice was frosty but calm. “I suggest smuggling her into the mews then into your carriage, my lord.”
He sent her a searching look but didn’t take her up on her formality. “Yes. Nobody will look twice at my rig parked at your door.”
Olivia led the silent girl out of the library and up the stairs. The acrid regret coiling in her stomach made her feel ill. But she’d have space to dwell on her sorrows once Roma was safely away. God help her, she’d have the rest of her life. “Take your time. A few extra minutes now will make no difference.”
“And give Papa time to cool down.”
Ironic that Olivia found herself compelled to defend her shallow lover. “He’s only upset because he loves you.”
Lady Roma looked at her as they reached the spare bedroom. “He’s not very good at showing it, is he?”
Olivia gave a low, caustic laugh. “He’s a man. Of course he’s not. But he’d die to save you an ounce of pain.”
“I know. It’s the day-to-day stuff he needs to practice.” The girl’s eyes became grave. “When I came here today, I hated you.”
Olivia’s wry smile faded. “I’m sorry you even learned of my existence.”
A hint of humor entered the blue eyes. Suddenly she looked startlingly like her father. “Oh, I’ve known about you for years. You’re famous. All my friends wish they had half your dash. I’d give anything to sit a horse the way you do. You look like you grew up in the saddle.”
“I did.” Although that horse-mad child was a million miles away from the world-weary woman she’d become.
“I ride like a sack of potatoes. My father is ashamed to be seen with me.”
“Perhaps you could ask him to give you lessons. Sometimes you have to make the first step, even if you’re the one who’s been wronged.”
“I wish I could know you better,” Lady Roma said quietly.
“Oh, sweetheart.” Olivia bit her lip to stem her foolish tears. Tears never helped anything. She’d learned that long ago. “You don’t, really. But I treasure what you said.”
She leaned forward and hugged the girl, feeling the desperate fragility under the defiance. For a fleeting moment Lady Roma was stiff under her embrace. Then she surrendered to Olivia’s arms and hugged her back with deep emotion.
If life had proceeded as her parents planned when they hired governesses and drawing masters and dancing teachers for their precious daughter, she could have had a child like this. A daughter to guide and to love when she was hurt and bereft as this child so clearly was.
But Olivia was left with nothing. No brilliant marriage. No sweet daughter. No devoted husband. Not even a lover to warm her yearning heart. Just a son she idolized but could never acknowledge and who would only grow more distant as the world beckoned him.
But she would survive. She always survived.
Even if right now she didn’t see much point.
She gathered her courage and gently pulled away from the girl’s clinging hands. “Come downstairs when you’re ready.”
“Papa will scold me all the way home.”
“He’s right about one thing—you shouldn’t have come.”
“I’m not sorry.”
Before Olivia could summon an answer, Lady Roma slipped into the room and closed the door firmly after her.
Olivia straightened her backbone and lifted her chin. For a brief, brilliant interval she’d believed she could escape the hard, heartless courtesan. Now she knew better.
When Olivia returned to the library, Julian stood staring down into the empty grate with a brooding expression. She paused in the doorway and watched him for a long, silent moment while she tried to quell the chagrin that ripped at her.
How could she have been so deceived in him? After so many years of hating the arrogant scions of the ton, how could she have been so fatally stupid as to fall in love with one?
He raised his head to meet her gaze and his masculine beauty pierced her like a knife. The rich blue of his coat and the startling white of his shirt and neckcloth emphasized the saturnine distinction of his features.
“I regret that Roma has made things difficult for you, Olivia.” The silver eyes glinted between their lush fringe of lashes. He rested one long-fingered hand on the mantel.
“She hasn’t made things difficult for me, Lord Erith.” She moved into the room, making sure to keep her distance. “I just pray nobody finds out about today’s escapade. She mustn’t suffer more than she already has.”
His mouth turned down in a wry line. “I deserve that.”
Olivia sank down onto one of the chairs near the saturated rug. “Yes, you do.”
“Damn it, I know I spoke out of turn. It was just the sight of Roma…” He paused and made a frustrated gesture. “We can’t talk about this now. I’ve got to take Roma home and then there’s a blasted family dinner with the Rentons. It was planned weeks ago and it’s important. I won’t be back here until late.”
“Don’t hurry on my account, Lord Erith.”
His lips twisted in a sardonic smile. “You don’t have to keep calling me that. I know you’re displeased with me.”
“I’m not displeased with you.”
He prowled across to array himself upon the sofa, studying her with heavy-lidded concentration. He looked like some eastern potenta
te considering his nightly selection from the harem. Except his jaw set in a determined line that indicated he wasn’t nearly as relaxed as he wished to appear. “You’re doing a remarkable impression, if you’re not.”
“Displeasure indicates I feel something for you,” she said steadily.
A faint mocking smile curved his lips. “And clearly you’re a monument of indifference.”
“Bickering will get us nowhere.” She spoke in clipped tones. “When we made this arrangement, I told you I reserved the right to end the liaison. Well, I’m exercising that right.”
Anger sparked in his eyes and he made a sound of denial deep in his throat. “And you tell me now, when I’m on my way to an engagement I can’t get out of?”
She clutched her hands in her lap and fought for the cold hard certainty that had gripped her when he’d lashed out at her over his daughter. That was truth. Not this subtle play of attraction.
“Whores can’t always be particular about their timing.”
“I’ve never treated you like a whore,” he said hotly, his face tightening.
“You did today.”
His fist curled on the arm of the sofa. “That’s not fair. No man wants his daughter to risk her future.”
“Yes, your actions as a parent do you credit, in spite of your temper. Your actions as a lover do not.”
His eyes darkened to the color of thunderclouds in a summer sky. He made a convulsive move toward her then stopped himself.
“My God, Olivia. I’m sorry.” His voice cracked with regret. “I found Roma here and I saw red. I acted like a confounded blockhead. But you must know I didn’t mean what I said. Damn it, I hurt you. I give you my word that was never my intention.”
“I’m sure it wasn’t.” Her words dropped from her lips as if cut from glass. “But a number of things have become clear, including that this liaison has gone as far as it will.”
“For God’s sake, stop calling it a liaison.” Any pretense of detachment disappeared in an instant. He surged across the room to fall to his knees at her side. His hands shook as they grabbed hers. “I love you. You love me.”
Tempt the Devil Page 27