She looked at him, the pained look in her face making the sting in his heart ache even worse. He’d do anything to spare her the pain he was about to lay on her. And yet, his words were sure to cut her deeply.
She took a deep breath and exhaled. “I shared with you the unusual circumstances of my becoming a mother. Because I did it all by myself, and because there was no father in Caroline’s life – ever – I have become a very private parent. I was mother and father, both, to Caroline from the day I conceived her. And I was very, very careful about the men I brought into her life. I’ve never allowed her to grow close to any of the men I’ve dated over the years, because I knew they weren’t long-term. They were temporary aspects of my life, and therefore, hers. I never wanted her to get attached.”
He nodded his approval. “Good plan.”
“When I allowed you into Caroline’s world, I did so hesitantly. And for the first time, Caroline’s become attached to a man … you.”
“That’s good.”
She sighed. “That’s good only if you become a permanent fixture in our lives. If you don’t, it’s bad. I don’t want her hurt.”
“I understand you’re protective of her, and I’m glad you are.”
“It’s exactly because of my protectiveness that my hair stood up on the back of my neck when I saw that screen saver. That’s Caroline several years ago. I’ve never even seen that photo. It’s nowhere to be found on the internet. You don’t know any of my relatives who could possibly have sent it to you. So that leaves the question, Grant. How the hell did you get that photo?”
Their eyes met and locked. “I’m Caroline’s father.”
A few seconds ticked by in stunned silence. “Impossible.” Despite her word choice, her tone was dubious.
“No. Please. Let me tell you the whole story.”
Alyssa pulled her hands through her hair and rested them on her ears, as if by blocking out her ability to hear, she could avoid facing the truth. “No, I signed a confidentiality agreement with that clinic. I had a profile, but I was never to learn of the donor’s identity, and he was never to learn of mine.”
He nodded. “That was their intent. But there are always contacts who are willing to be swayed away from their legal commitment with a few well-spent contributions.”
“What, bribes?”
He nodded, his forehead creased tight.
“You bribed the clinic to tell you who used your donation?”
He avoided the question. “Let’s just say we found the weak link in that organization who was more interested in the money than his scruples.”
She stared at him, then shook her head. “It couldn’t possibly be the same sperm I used in my in vitro. That must have been years before I started shopping around. You said you were in college then, right?”
He nodded. “Frozen sperm can be kept viable for decades. It was mine you used to create Caroline, Alyssa. That much I can tell you in all honesty.”
She stood. “There’s no way! The timing’s wrong, the geographic location is wrong – where’d you go to college?”
“Here in New York.”
“I was in Baltimore then. It couldn’t possibly be the same.”
“Alyssa, I know it sounds improbable, but there’s a vast network that handles donations in this industry. Just because a sample is gained in one city doesn’t mean it’s ultimately used there. It could be flown anywhere in the network. It keeps the possibilities open for customers all over the country.”
She stood and paced the room, shaking her head. “So, what you’re telling me is that a sperm donation you made, what twenty years ago?”
“Fifteen.”
“In New York made its way to Baltimore nine years ago at just the time that I wanted to fertilize myself. And by coincidence, we just happened to meet and start working together now? Don’t you think that’s way too much of a coincidence, Grant?”
Her sarcastic tone cut him, but he replied softly, “There’s no coincidence involved, Alyssa. This has been a big part of my life for the last four years.”
“What?” Her voice was soft, with a dangerous undertone rippling below the surface.
“I worked with a private investigator to locate you. I’ve had all the tests done. Caroline is my daughter.”
A shudder visibly rippled through her body. “No. It’s impossible.”
He shook his head sadly. “It’s true, Alyssa.”
She sat, her gaze locked on the table between them. “You hired a private eye? You had me followed?” She walked over to the computer screen. “He was secretly taking pictures of me and Caroline?” Her volume had risen to an outraged tone.
He stood and walked toward her, but stopped before reaching her, knowing he needed to keep his distance. “I needed to keep in touch, but I knew I couldn’t make contact. This was the only way, Alyssa.”
“The only way! What you’re doing is illegal, Grant! You’ve been violating my privacy. You have no right to know about Caroline. That was clear in the confidentiality agreement I signed.”
“I know. It doesn’t excuse what I’ve done, but when I lost Marguerite and our baby, I was so depressed. My body was wracked with injury. My heart was broken. I had no reason to recover and keep on living. I worked hard in physical therapy and I regained the use of my legs. I went back to work, but I had no purpose in life. I was drifting, Alyssa. It was terrible.”
He looked at her closely and could see that although there was still anger in her expression, she was listening to him.
“Those are excuses, Grant, to justify your illegal activity.”
“That day my college buddy passed through New York and called me up to meet him for a drink, I got a new hope. I’d totally forgotten about donating sperm. But it planted itself in my brain and I couldn’t let it go. It was a light in the midst of this darkness that had settled around me. I knew I’d never fall in love again, and never have the chance at a child. But maybe, just maybe, that donation had resulted in a child that was out there already.
“I hired a professional to find out for me. He broke some laws to do it and I’m not particularly proud of that, but he found you. I was so psyched. It gave my life new meaning – a reason to continue on. I started thinking of Caroline as my heir – her birthright is Calibrite Electronics.”
“She’s just a little girl,” Alyssa snapped.
“I know. And my plan was to never make contact with her until she was a legal adult, then I would offer her a place in the business. For years, I was completely anonymous to you. I kept an eye on you both from a distance. I made anonymous donations at the schools Caroline attended. It made me feel that at least I had a small part of her childhood.”
“Donations?”
“Yes. I made sizable donations to all of Caroline’s schools so far, with instructions to utilize the funds for improving the quality of the curriculum. I wanted to make sure Caroline was getting the best educational opportunities possible.”
“You didn’t think I would ensure that?”
“Of course. I knew right away that I had struck gold. My daughter had the best mother possible. I’ve always admired your parenting decisions and knew that you always kept Caroline top in your priorities.”
Alyssa walked away from the computer. With her back to him, she said, “So you saw her as a business successor, nothing more?”
He shook his head. “No, no. I don’t want it to sound like that. I saw Caroline as my future successor at Calibrite, absolutely, my blood relative to take over if she was interested. But I reluctantly accepted the fact that I couldn’t take part in my daughter’s childhood, because I knew I could never approach you with the truth.”
She swung around to face him. “Because I could press charges and send you to jail.”
“Yes.”
“Then I moved to New York. And you changed your strategy. You decided to approach me and pose as a client for McDunn and Early. The only reason you hired me was because it would get you closer to
your heir. And, oh my God, the only reason you slept with me was ….” Angry tears jumped to her eyes and she looked around frantically, lighted on her purse. She snatched it up.
“No, no, that’s not true.” He covered the distance between them quickly and grabbed her by the shoulders, stopping her escape. “You can’t believe that. I came to you originally, yes, because of your connection to Caroline. I thought I could get to know Caroline if I befriended you, I admit that. But I realized two things very quickly. First, you’re the best damn advertising exec I’ve ever worked with. You blew away my previous firm, and our partnership has already proven to be very profitable to Calibrite.”
She struggled to free herself but he held on tight.
“Second, I realized my plan to befriend you so I could get close to Caroline was impossible. Because my heart got in the way. I couldn’t keep my distance. I fell in love with you both. I realized that you are a woman I could spend my life with, regardless of whether you were mother to my child. I love you, Alyssa. And I love my daughter – the child she is now, not just for her future birthright. I love you both, and I want us to be a family.”
Alyssa put her hands on his shoulders and pushed as hard as she could. He let go and she screamed in frustration, “Shut up! Don’t you dare say those things to me.” She marched to the door, opened it, and he did nothing but stand there and watch her go. He’d failed in getting her to understand, to accept.
She turned to face him, the pain so evident on her face destroying him.
“I don’t believe you,” she whispered.
He stilled. He had proof, of course. A DNA test, paperwork from the clinic. Did she want to be convinced? Did she really not believe? Silently, he walked to his desk and pulled out a folder. Crossing the room, he handed it to her. “Everything you need to know is right here.”
She flipped it open and rifled through the papers. Papers that would implicate him in a court of law, proof that would ensure his guilty verdict and sentence. He just handed them over to her. His lawyer would think he was insane.
When she completed her fast review, the blue eyes he loved were lined with tears. She firmed her shoulders. “You will never see Caroline again, and I’ll stake my life on that promise.”
She tossed the file on the floor and stormed through the door, leaving it hanging open behind her. He stood quietly for a few moments, and in his mind’s eye, saw his whole world fall apart.
Chapter Sixteen
Work. The beauty of immersing herself in work had been her strategy before, and it would be successful again. First of all, there was a never-ending supply of it. It could fill every moment of her day and night if she let it. So, it could certainly be counted on to fill whatever moment she would otherwise be thinking of Grant Fontaine, shoving him out of her mind and her heart.
She threw down her pen and stretched her spine. How could she have allowed herself this transgression? For years she’d guarded her heart against falling in love. Men were unreliable and unworthy of her love – that was the one painful lesson she’d learned as a result of her ill-advised and short-lived marriage. Isn’t that why she’d built this life for herself – this life that any successful independent woman would dream of? She was growing a reputation of excellence in her chosen field, client by client. She was climbing the ladder of success and had reached a pinnacle with her move to McDunn and Early. She didn’t need to rely on a man to support her or buy her those things she really wanted or needed.
And she also didn’t need a man to provide her with a child. She’d gone out and done that too, all on her own. But what insanity had crept in and allowed her to fall in love with Grant Fontaine, of all people? What was wrong with her well-honed instincts about people and their motives? Where were the alarm bells that should have gone off in her head when he’d started getting a little too close?
To her horror, the tears that had been popping up uninvited ever since she’d left his apartment yesterday chose this moment to appear. She flicked them away with her finger and straightened her hair, practiced some deep breathing. Time to move on. She had some business to take care of and as always, she would take care of it. Herself.
She stood up and scooted back from her desk, then left her office and walked down the hall to Tony’s. His door was open and he sat back from his desk, one leg draped over the other knee while he held a stack of papers in his hand, reading. She tapped on the door. “Got a minute?”
He looked up at her and smiled. “Absolutely. Come on in.”
She came in and sat down.
“How’s Caroline doing?”
“She’s hanging in there. She’s still getting frequent nosebleeds and they’re very disturbing to her when they happen. As soon as I locate a donor for her, I can schedule the transfusion.”
He shook his head. “I’m sorry I wasn’t a match.”
She waved a hand at him. “Not many people are. Unfortunately, I can’t help her either. But I’ve got a spider web of calls spreading out across the whole country. I’ve called everyone I know, and asked them to call everyone they know. I’m sure we’ll get a match soon.”
He nodded. “So Fontaine’s donation didn’t work out either? He seemed so sure.”
That was the last topic she wanted to get into now. “No. But I need to talk to you about work.”
He gestured at her, welcoming her to go ahead.
“I want to transfer one of my accounts to you for handling.”
He frowned at her. “One of the inactives?”
She shook her head. “No. Actually, I’ve spent so much time on one account that I’ve neglected my inactives desperately over the last few months. I want to offload my current work so I can get back to the promises I made to the inactives.”
Tony stared, his mouth open. “Alyssa, are you talking about Calibrite?” His tone showed that he thought she must be a little crazy.
“Yes.”
He sat forward, put both feet on the floor and leaned his elbows on his desk. “Let me get this straight. You want to give me the Calibrite account.”
“Yes.”
“Why? You’ve put your heart and soul into that account. You accomplished the near impossible snagging Calibrite and bringing them in here. You’ve come up with phenomenal advertising over a variety of mediums. You’ve spent 100% of your time partnering with Fontaine to come up with exactly what he wanted. You’ve put at least half of your ideas out in the world, you have a schedule for the rest to be released. And now, when you should be sitting back on your laurels and watching all the big numbers roll in, you want to transfer the account to me?”
She scratched her neck, took a deep breath and let it out. “Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. So, let’s cut to the chase. Will you take it?”
He shook his head in wonderment. “Back to my original question: why?”
Damned if her tears hadn’t returned, and he’d noticed it.
“Oh sweetie, what happened? Did he hurt you? Do something inappropriate?” Tony stood and took the few short steps over to her, put his arm around her shoulder and patted uncomfortably. “What’d that bastard do?”
She shook her head, waving her hand in dismissal. “I can’t talk about it. But let’s just say I can’t work with him anymore.”
“I don’t want him either, his money be damned,” Tony said fiercely.
“I understand. I wanted to offer him to you first, but I know you have a little bit of history.” She gave a weak smile. “If you’re sure, I’ll offer him to someone else.”
Tony studied her, frowning. “Are you certain? Do you realize how much money this is going to cost you? Why don’t you let it sit, whatever it is. Maybe it won’t look so bad in a few days. Meanwhile, just ignore the jerk and make him realize what an ass he is.”
She thought about it, then shook her head. “I can’t. I need to make a clean break from him now. I really don’t care about the money.”
“Come on now. That’s crazy talk.”
Alyssa
smiled reluctantly. “Some things are more important than money, Tony.”
“Oh my God. Who are you, and what have you done with my cut-throat mentee?”
Alyssa stood. “I have to go. I have some calls to make. I’ll let you think about my offer for four hours. After that, I’m going to transfer him to someone else. Let me know.” With a wave, she left his office.
Back in her own, she picked up the phone and for three hours, made follow-up calls to each of the people she’d called over the last few days about blood donations. Each and every one was the wrong answer – no. Everyone wanted to help – but no one could. No one had O negative blood.
And time was closing in. The sooner she found the right donor, the sooner she could get Caroline into the hospital for the transfusion, the sooner her life could get back to normal.
She knew of one donor, and only one. It was her own pride and ego that was keeping her from using him. But she had to think of Caroline now. Caroline needed his blood and Alyssa couldn’t stand in the way of that.
She picked up the phone and called Dr. Scott’s office. She set up an appointment for early the next morning for the procedure.
“Do you have any questions?” the nurse asked.
“Yes, actually, a favor. Could you call the donor for me, and give him the instructions for tomorrow?”
There was the shuffling of paper. “Mr. Grant Fontaine?”
“Yes.”
“You wouldn’t like to do that yourself?”
“No.”
There was a slight pause. “Okay, I’ll call him right now. Do you have his number?”
Alyssa gave her his home, work and cell numbers, thanked her and hung up. She took a deep breath and willed her heart to stop racing.
* * * *
Early the next morning, Alyssa and Caroline got in a cab. The autumn bite to the air was just enough that on top of an extra-early wake up time and her inability to have breakfast due to fasting, Caroline’s mood was surly. She slumped in the backseat, her chin resting on her chest, and her bottom lip almost reaching there too.
Hidden Agenda Page 17