by C. Morgan
He smirked. “In your own words, you’re doing it wrong if the others haven’t felt anything.”
“Very funny. Are you enjoying this? I’m really suffering here.”
“Okay, okay, go on. What’s the problem?”
“When I woke up this morning, I thought we had turned a page. I was thinking we were going to be doing that kind of thing more often. I thought I could take her to dinner and the whole nine yards. Instead, she opened her eyes and looked at me like she was disgusted to find me in her bed.”
He winced. “Oh, I know that look. Aren’t you usually the one giving the look?”
“Yes, which is why I know the look. What do I do?”
“There is something adults do that you could try.”
“What?”
“Talk. Ask her what she is thinking. Ask her what she is feeling. Tell her how you are feeling.”
I groaned. “That is so girly.”
“And so adult. You can’t have a relationship if you don’t talk to the other person. If you think you know what she wants, then tell her. Maybe she doesn’t want to be the first one to say anything.”
That could be true. “So what am I supposed to say?”
“You say you’d like to date her.”
“But I don’t know that I do want to date her.”
“Yes, you do. You know you do. You are all out of sorts because you like her. I don’t understand why this is such a novel idea. Have you seriously never dated anyone?”
“I’ve gone on dates.”
“With the same person more than let’s say five or six times?”
I cringed. “No!”
“You act like that’s a bad thing. Just talk to her. Let her know that you’d like to take her out for real.”
“We’ve been to dinner a few times.”
“That was probably work stuff. That doesn’t count.”
“I don’t know. This is all so messed up. Why does it have to be her?”
“Why not her?”
“Because she is a great assistant and she’s Naya’s best friend. If this goes bad, I’m going to lose on both sides.”
“Don’t look to the end. You’ll be setting yourself up for failure. Just talk to her. It really isn’t that hard. Clear the air at the very least.”
He was making sense. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Damn, you were really going off the deep end there.”
“Don’t hold this over my head,” I warned.
He smiled in that way that said he was absolutely going to hold it over my head.
Chapter 19
Trinity
I walked into my bedroom, dropped my suitcase, and fell face first on my bed. “Trinity, you are an idiot.”
I couldn’t believe I slept with him again. I slept with him literally and figuratively. If there had just been sex, I could have almost been okay with the way it happened. But there had been a lot more than sex.
It had been the kind of sex that went deeper than just a nice orgasm. And know he was basically getting ready to fire me. I was going to be fired because we both knew we could not sleep together and work together. It was too messy.
I wasn’t an idiot. He purposely avoided me all day because I made him uncomfortable. He couldn’t get out of my room fast enough this morning. This was my fault. Last night, I let my lust take over. That was a mistake, and I knew better.
If he let me keep my job, I was going to vow to never touch him again. I wouldn’t flirt. I wouldn’t give him looks. Nothing. “I’ll be the perfect nun,” I mumbled.
I rolled over and stared up at the ceiling. I couldn’t afford to lose the job. I had never received a call from any of the other applications I put in. I had no job prospects. “Stupid, stupid, stupid.”
I got up, changed out of my work clothes, and did what I always did when I was in a bum mood. I put on my jammies, pulled up my hair, and poured myself a glass of wine. Then it was a night with Netflix. I ended up watching a rom-com.
Boy meets girl. Boy and girl like each other and then drama. Boy walks away from girl. Some really great music over a montage of sad scenes, a tearful reunion, and a happily ever after.
When I went to bed, I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. This wasn’t something I could talk to Naya about. She would be pissed to know I’d hit on him. Well, hitting on him was a bit of an understatement. I practically jumped his bones.
The following morning, I woke up with the same heaviness on my shoulders. I slept in with some effort. I kept waking up at the usual time but forced myself to go back to sleep. I didn’t want to prolong my misery. I should be getting ready for work, but I wasn’t because I threw myself at my boss. I was given the day off, which was essentially a cooling-off period. I was being forced to cool down because he was afraid I would attack him again.
I sulked all the way to the kitchen table. I sipped my coffee and spaced out thinking about all the mistakes I’d made in the last few weeks. Most of them included Ryker. Sleeping with him at the wedding was my first step down the road filled with mistakes.
It was Friday, which would typically mean payday. I couldn’t remember if we got paid this Friday or next Friday. I grabbed my phone and called the one person I knew would know.
“Hi,” I said when Alysha answered her phone.
“Hey, you! We miss you around here. Ryker said you weren’t coming in today. Are you feeling okay?”
For some reason, that pissed me off even more. “I’m feeling fine. Ryker suggested I take the day off after the busy week.”
“I bet you are exhausted,” she said.
I rolled my eyes and was glad she couldn’t see me. “I was wondering if you could tell me when payday is? I wasn’t paying very good attention when I was going through the paperwork.”
“It’s today! Trust me, I never forget that day.”
“Should I come in to pick up my check?” I asked.
“Did you fill out direct deposit?”
I was such a space cadet. “Oh, actually, I think I did. I’m sorry I bothered you.”
“It’s no bother. You’ve had a long week and you’re always on task. You get to be off-kilter one day. It makes the rest of us regular people feel a little better.”
“I’m off-kilter most days.”
She laughed. “Hey, what are you doing tonight?”
My stomach dropped. I knew I wasn’t invited to the office dinner tonight. Ryker would shit his pants if I showed up after he’d banished me from the office. “Oh, I think I’m going to get caught up on some stuff.”
“It’s the weekend. Catch up tomorrow. Come out with me. Let’s get a drink. My kids are with their dad. I get to stay up late. Woohoo!”
I wanted to decline but I didn’t want her to think I was avoiding her. “Sure,” I heard myself say. “What time?”
“How about seven? I’ll text you the name of this new place I’ve been dying to check out, unless you have somewhere in mind.”
“Nope, you pick the place. I’m game.”
“Dress like a hooker!”
I almost choked. “What?!”
“You are my wing-woman. I need you to look hot and sexy to reel in the men. They always travel in pairs. They see you and they’ll come over. I’ll take your scraps.”
“Alysha, you are a stunning woman. I’ll be the one taking the scraps.”
“I’ll see you tonight.”
I was going to have fun tonight. It was time to get out there. If I had a man, I wouldn’t be tempted by Ryker. Naya wasn’t going to go out with me anymore. I needed a going-out friend. It was time I found a man before I got old and outdated.
I grabbed my laptop and my stack of bills. This was going to be the moment of truth. “Who gets paid and who gets excuses?” I murmured as I turned it on and waited for it to get fired up.
With a great deal of fear and dread, I pulled up my banking information. I entered the password and waited. Then I stared at the balance. “What the hell?”<
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I clicked on my account information. Sure enough, there was a deposit from the clinic for three grand. “Three thousand dollars?” I whispered.
That was for the week? One week? “No way. This is not possible.”
What if it was severance pay? What if I got fired? I thought about calling him and asking if it was a mistake. Maybe it was a monthly check. It felt wrong. I wasn’t going to spend it. Not until I talked to him.
But I wasn’t going to call him today. I would wait and show up to work on Monday. If I was fired, he could tell me to my face.
I paid the minimum due on my bills from my savings and left the paycheck alone. If it was a mistake, I was going to have to pay it back. It would be hard to pay back money after I spent it.
I put away the laptop and busied myself with housework until it was time to get ready for my night out on the town. This was good. This was exactly what I needed. I was going to go out and find a man. I was not going to think about Ryker ever again. Except at work.
I dug in my closet and found the perfect dress for a night out. It had been a while since I’d been out on a mission to pick up a man. Ever since Naya got engaged, our nights out had turned into nights in. I needed a night out. I needed to let my hair down and really have some fun. I put on my good makeup. The stuff was so old it was almost dry.
I ordered an Uber and finished getting ready. I was actually looking forward to the night. I wanted to have fun and dance. I got to the club and found Alysha waiting outside for me.
“Damn, woman!” I said when I saw her. She was a siren. The red hair and short green dress she was wearing showed off a figure I didn’t know she had. “I’m definitely the wing-woman here.”
“You look amazing! Let’s do this!”
“Don’t we need to get in line?”
She winked. “I know a guy,” she said with a grin and walked right up to the man monitoring the door. They talked for a minute before we were being allowed in.
“You are crazy,” I shouted as she took my hand and led me into the packed club. We went straight for the bar and ordered the two-dollar drink special before making a round.
“How was your week?” she asked. She had to yell for me to hear her over the music.
“It was good. How was it at the clinic?”
“Boring.”
“Let’s dance,” I said. I didn’t want to risk her asking questions about Ryker. Not that she would but I did not want to get into that sordid mess.
We danced together for less than a minute before we were joined by a couple of guys. We held our drinks and shook our asses while laughing. It was a blast. It was exactly what I needed after the day I had.
We stayed out way too late and drank too much. By the time I got home, I was feeling good and carefree. I didn’t have a worry or a care in the world.
I stripped out of my dress and crawled into bed without bothering to wash my face. I felt too good to be responsible. I would deal with the clown face in the morning. I sighed and smiled as I closed my eyes. “Today was a good day,” I murmured. “Ryker who?”
I softly giggled as my drunken self settled into the pillow. Monday was a new day. I was going to treat Ryker like the professional I was. We would never talk about the incident. That was what I was referring to the other night as. It was an incident that would not be repeated.
I met a few guys tonight. I didn’t think any of them were really dating material, but if I could just find a man to go on a single date with, it would work.
“Goodbye, Ryker. Adios. No more sex for you.”
Or me. No more sex for me. Unless I could muster the courage to have a one-nighter with one of the guys I met at the club tonight.
But why was I limiting myself? Alysha said she wanted to go out again. We could go out and party and maybe then I would find a man that I was truly attracted to. Unfortunately, every guy I danced with or looked at got compared to Ryker. They weren’t as big as he was or they didn’t have the little quirk in the corner of his mouth. I knew none of them could kiss like he did.
Could I really settle?
Chapter 20
Ryker
I woke up on Saturday morning feeling a bit like death. I groaned and held my head as I slowly opened one eye than the other. “Dammit.”
Why? Why did I do this to myself? I knew better but yet I did it anyway. I went out and got hammered. Technically, getting hammered was my second goal. My original goal was to find a woman and get laid. I was hoping to exorcise the demon. I had to get Trinity out from under my skin.
And then I got to the club and looked around. Not a single woman appealed to me. I ended up getting sloshed and going home alone.
Going out was nothing but a test anyway. I wanted to prove I wasn’t caught up with Trinity. I didn’t want to admit to myself that I was truly falling for her. Admitting it meant I was opening myself up to a whole new set of problems I wasn’t quite ready to deal with.
I stumbled around the house most of the day. The Jack was haunting me. Jack and Trinity. Thoughts of her kept floating through my brain. How could I approach the subject? I didn’t know the first thing about relationships. I didn’t know how to talk to women about stuff like that. I didn’t even know how to start the conversation.
For now, I was just going to ignore it. I would deal with it on Monday. I’d pull her to the side and we would have a blunt conversation. If she didn’t want me in that way, so be it, but I wanted to keep her as my assistant regardless.
Monday morning was not a lot better than Saturday morning. It wasn’t the Jack. It was a lack of sleep. I was completely hung up on her, and thinking about seeing her again was stressing me out. This was why I didn’t bother falling in love with anyone. It was too stressful.
“Damn,” Nick said when I walked into the office. “What happened to you?”
“Nothing.”
“Bullshit. Man, are you sick? Do you need to take the day off?”
“No, I’m not sick. I’m fine.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“What makes you think there is something to talk about?”
He followed me into my office. I was relieved to see she wasn’t in yet. I still had not quite worked out what I was going to say to her. Two days and I was still stuck at her name.
“I know you,” he said. “I know when you’ve got something going on.”
“It was a long weekend.”
“Girl troubles.”
“What?”
He nodded. “You’ve got girl trouble. I know the look. I have three younger brothers. I’ve seen the look a hundred times.”
“I’m good. I just had a really long weekend.”
“All right. We have a staff meeting in ten minutes. Are you up for it?”
“I am.”
“Then I’ll leave you be.”
I sat down at my desk and rubbed a hand over my face. “Shit,” I muttered when I felt the stubble. I forgot to shave this morning.
There was a quiet knock on my door. I didn’t have to ask who it was. I knew her knock. I would have loved to say I wasn’t in, but she was already walking through the door. “Good morning,” she said in a breezy voice.
“Good morning.”
“We have a staff meeting in a few minutes. I’ve printed out your schedule for everyone. I wanted to make sure Dr. Nick knows when you will be out of town. I’ve already given it to everyone else. You also have a full schedule of patients today. I’m going to finish working on the updates to the team roster. I checked the email this morning and there’s been some changes.”
She was being all business. She refused to look me directly in the eyes. “Thanks,” I said.
“I’m going to talk with Alysha. I’ll see you at the meeting.”
She left without giving me the chance to say another word.
“Fuck me.” This was not going to work. I had to talk to her and clear the air. After the staff meeting, I told myself.
Throughout the staff
meeting, I could feel everyone looking at me. The moment the meeting was over, I left the conference room and retreated to my office. Trinity was right behind me.
“Why don’t I get you some coffee?” she said.
“No, I’m fine.”
“Do you need something to eat? Some aspirin? Maybe an IV drip?”
“No.”
She put a hand on her hip. It was the wrong move. It pulled her blouse across her breasts. Buttons strained and I could see a tiny little glimpse of her bra. She was wearing her usual black slacks that were slimming and stopped just above her ankles. It was such a simple look but it was sexy as hell.
“Okay,” she said. “You’re obviously in a mood. I’m going to work in the breakroom. If you need me, holler.” She turned and walked out.
That went well.
I had the perfect opportunity to talk to her and I froze. I was a fucking coward. I sat in my office trying to work up the courage to talk to her. When I was finally certain I could have the conversation, I got to my feet and headed for the breakroom. I stopped just outside the breakroom when I heard female laughter.
It was Alysha and Trinity. I casually leaned against the wall and waited for Alysha to leave. I didn’t want to intrude on their conversation and it gave me a minute to fortify my courage.
“Did you call that guy back?” I heard Alysha ask.
My stomach dropped and I felt a strange heat flood through my veins. Jealousy. That had to be what it was. It was a foreign feeling. I couldn’t remember ever feeling jealous of anyone. She was calling guys back? What the hell?
“No, I didn’t call him,” she said with a light laugh. “I can’t believe you gave him my number.”
“He cornered me when you were in the bathroom. I thought you liked him. You were certainly dancing together a lot.”
I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. She was going out. She was flirting and dancing and getting phone numbers. What the hell was I thinking letting myself get involved in something like this?
“He was a good dancer,” Trinity said with another laugh.