Panic surged through me and I shot up off the couch. I didn’t know where I was going, but somewhere else.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Dante asked, running up next to me.
“Nothing. I uh…just have to…” Inspiration struck. “Pee.”
Dante stopped, surprised. “Okay. Cool. Want me to show you where the bathroom is?”
“No!”
He stepped back, hands held up.
Spinning away, I went into the house. Tate and Kat were in the kitchen. Kissing.
I heard a squawk come out of my mouth, though I hadn’t meant to. I spotted a hall off to the left and dove down it. To my relief, I saw a bathroom ahead. When I was safely alone behind the door, I sat down on the floor and dropped my head into my hands. The smooth tile was cold beneath my bare legs. I wanted to lay down and press my burning cheeks to the floor as well.
What was going on? Why was Dante hanging out around me so much?
The only answer that made sense, didn’t make sense.
Maybe if I kept my distance from him the rest of the night, at least no one else would get suspicious and start thinking crazy things, like that I had a crush on Dante or him on me. Here we all were, speculating about each other like the biggest, nosiest gossips in the world. It was probably all as ridiculous as the idea that Dante might have a thing for me.
Which I seemed to be telling myself all the time.
Once my breath had calmed and my cheeks cooled, I decided that I might as well use the bathroom while I was in there because I didn’t want Dante to notice if I went to the bathroom twice. But as I washed my hands, I realized what Dante might think if he was paying attention to how long I was gone. Crud waffles.
When I got back to the kitchen, Dante was sitting at the counter, drinking a Mountain Dew and talking with Tate and Kat. I could have snuck right past him, but I saw my book under his arm where it rested on the counter.
“Can I have my book back please?”
Dante turned and looked me over. “Man. Did you get a hold of some bad shrimp or something? The way you bolted into the bathroom, it couldn’t have been pretty in there. Did you spray?”
Kill. Me. Now.
Tate and Kat were barely keeping a lid on their laughter, but Dante looked genuinely concerned.
“For your information, I was not sick. My book?”
“It’s okay, Sadie. We all get diarrhea sometimes.
That was it. I had to get out of here, but I wasn’t going without my book. Darting forward as quick as I could, I grabbed hold of the spine and tried to tear it away, but Dante reached up and grabbed hold of it.
“No, wait. I was reading the page where it was opened. It’s fascinating. I thought we could read the rest of the chapter together. I’m dying for a chance to find out how a vampire kisses a girl without sucking her dry.”
The teasing note in his voice was just too much. A gush of tears stung my eyes, but I still tried to stare at him. His expression shifted from amusement to something that might have been remorse. Or panic. I couldn’t see well enough to decide.
“You know what? I have had a hard week. And a confusing week. A week that made me want to crawl under the blankets on my bed and hide from life for a while. But I didn’t. I came here with you because you asked me to.”
“Sadie—”
But I wasn’t ready to let him talk yet. “And what did you do? You accused me of having diarrhea in front of other people when I didn’t and then made fun of my book.”
He held the book out toward me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
I yanked it out of his hand. “What did you mean to do? Do you know what it takes to just keep going all the time when you feel like crap about yourself? Especially after skinny girls like your friend Lori and her whole posse of snakes keep telling you that you have a big butt and talking about how fat girls sweat too much and laughing because the valedictorian can’t remember the name of the sauce that comes with the crab cakes?”
A heavy silence fell when I was done talking. The kind that clamps everyone’s mouths shut because saying something will come off like an explosion, no matter what it was. And Dante looked like someone had stuffed a lemon in his mouth and then glued it shut.
“Tate,” Kat said, her voice very soft and careful. “I need the keys to your truck.”
I heard a slight, metallic jingle, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from Dante’s.
Then Kat put her arm around my shoulder and pulled me away. “Come on, Sadie. Let me take you home.”
And because there was nothing else embarrassing to expose about myself except for the fact that the reason all of this hurt so much was because I did, in fact, have feelings for Dante. And because of that, I needed to shut up now.
So I went with Kat. And like the good friend she was, she didn’t say a word all the way to my house.
I guess I’d said enough for everyone.
Chapter Ten
I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised to wake up the next morning and see seventy text messages from Dante, but I was.
Okay, don’t know exactly how many there were, but it was epic. It was also clear that despite his apologies about teasing me the night before, he didn’t understand why it had hurt so bad, which made it hurt even more.
If he had been interested in me like I’d started to think, he never would have teased me like that. I’ve seen the way he talks to the girls he’s dated and he didn’t tease them about what they were doing in the bathroom. And he never missed an opportunity to compliment them and make them feel like a highly desirable woman.
How embarrassing that I’d let myself start to think something was happening between us—and that I still had feelings for him.
The turd bucket.
A knock on my bedroom door forced me out of my mental ping pong between hating myself and hating Dante.
A second later, my mom opened the door. “Madison is in the living room watching cartoons, and we’re leaving.”
Seven o’clock had never come so early. “Okay. I’m getting up.”
“Thanks, honey. I’ll see you later. Love you.”
She was gone before I could respond—which was probably for the best since I did not have it in me to be cheerful today.
Apparently, neither did London. As usual, she’d curled up on top of my feet during the night and she complained vociferously about being disturbed. She’d forgive me when she decided she wanted breakfast.
London would forgive anybody for anything if the fed her.
I didn’t bother changing out of my leggings and t-shirt, but I did put on my bra because the girls needed support. I could have used some myself. While I brushed my teeth, I eyed myself in the mirror, playing chicken with the depression that threatened to overwhelm me. All the usual denigrating thoughts tried to attack me, telling me that I looked fat, that I was stupid, that no one would ever love me. But as I spit and rinsed my mouth, I glared at my reflection and said, “Stop being melodramatic. You’re a genius babe and men don’t deserve me. Especially Dante.”
When I said his name out loud, a shock ran over me. That was weird.
“Harry. John. George. Ben.”
Okay. Nothing. Apparently saying random guy names in my bathroom didn’t have the same effect. “Cooper. Zane. Ridge.”
And…saying the names of my other guy friends didn’t either. I took a deep breath, and whisper spoke, “Dante.”
There it was again—a weird jolt ripped through me, speeding up my heart rate and tightening my lungs.
“What are you doing?” Madison asked.
I swung around, shrieking in surprise. Mortified, I said, “Nothing.”
“You were saying boy names.”
“Well, yes.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m a weirdo. Come on. Let’s go get breakfast.”
We were in the hallway by the time she said, “You said Dante. He’s the guy that went to the beach with us that one time, right?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“I thought so. He’s in the living room.”
“What?” If it was possible to whisper and scream at the same time, I’d just done it.
“Yeah. He knocked on the door and since he’s your friend, I let him in.”
“Holy twizzle pop, what the heck is he doing here?” I was about to implode—like someone had hit the panic button inside me and all my internal alarms were going off.
Madison just shrugged with all the cool unconcern of a seven-year-old who still thinks boys have cooties. “He brought breakfast and asked me to come get you.”
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and walked into the living room. Dante had moved into the kitchen where he stood at the kitchen counter pulling things out of a bag. He looked up immediately, however, and gave a half-smile—as if he knew the chances of him being welcomed were practically zilch.
“What are you doing here?”
He waved a hand at the food. “I brought breakfast burritos from Cowboy John’s. Have you ever had them before?”
I’d been on the point of yelling at him, but this caught my attention. “No.”
“Oh man. Check this out. They save their leftover BBQ from the night before and put it in a burrito with eggs and cheese. It’s unreal how good they are.”
Okay, I was intrigued and interested, but I hadn’t forgiven him yet. “So, you’ve come to apologize to the fat girl with food. Makes sense I guess.”
Dante groaned and rubbed his eyes with his palms. “Look, stop saying that about yourself. And why wouldn’t I bring you food? You do eat breakfast, right.”
I glared at him because of course, I ate food and his burritos were making my mouth water, but I was too tangled and vulnerable to just give in.
“I want one,” Madison said, climbing up on a stool at the counter.
“Great.” Dante sifted through the wrapped items he’d spread out in front of him. “Do you want a brisket burrito or pulled pork or burnt ends? Oh, here’s one with jalapeno sausage.”
Madison lifted an eyebrow at him. “Is the sausage one spicy?”
“Not too bad.”
“I want that one.”
Dante tossed it across to her. “There you go.”
Sighing, I walked over and grabbed a knife. “Here, Madi, let me cut that in half. You’ll never finish the whole thing.”
“I will too.”
But the burrito was enormous. There was no way. So, I took it from her and cut it in half while it was still in the wrapper. Peeling the paper down, I handed it back to her. “If you finish this, you can have the rest.”
The back door opened and my dad came in. He looked up in surprise when he saw we had company and smiled up at Dante. Yes, Dante was about six inches taller than my dad.
“Dante, it’s good to see you. It’s been a while.”
“Thanks, Mr. Davenport. Want a burrito from Cowboy John’s BBQ?”
My dad’s face lit up. “I’ve heard those are good. Let me just wash my hands.”
As he moved toward the sink, I shifted out of his way, which put me in the corner of the L-shaped counter and much closer to Dante than was smart. He smelled really good like he’d just showered with some kind of manly body wash.”
My dad settled down next to Madison with he pulled-pork burrito and a pile of salsa packets. “How are you guys going to spend the day?”
I just looked at him, lost for words. I wasn’t doing anything with Dante. Except for kicking him out of here as soon as possible.
“I was just going to ask Sadie about that,” Dante said. “We could always go to the beach. Or the water park maybe?”
“I don’t feel like going anywhere today,” I said, keeping my tone airy so my dad didn’t catch onto the fact that I was upset. But I shot Dante a look to make sure he knew I wasn’t softening any.
He shrugged. “Sounds fine to me. I could use a lazy day. Want to watch a movie or something?”
“No.”
Dante’s eyebrow rose. He was beginning to look frustrated.
“Man, these are amazing,” my dad said, his attention wholly focused on the massive tortilla full of eggs and meat.”
“Right? Sadie, you’ve got to try one. Do you want the brisket or burnt ends?”
I was all too aware that by accepting a truce of food, I was acting a lot like London, a bratty cat, but they did smell amazing. “Which one do you want?”
“I’ll take either.”
“Okay, give me the burnt end one then.”
He grinned and tossed me a burrito. “Good choice.”
I caught it, amazed at how heavy it was and reached for a salsa packet. I fell in love at first bite. Now, how did I eat this whole thing without looking like a complete pig?
“That was good,” my Dad said as he got up and threw his wrapper away. “Thanks, Dante. Madison, want to come out to the garden and help me pick some things? I have tomatoes and zucchini and green beans ready.”
“Yes.” Madison was off her stool like a shot.
After she ran outside, my Dad turned around in the doorway. “I’ll keep her busy for a while so you too can make up, but none of that first-kissing business, okay?”
“Dad!”
He just shut the door behind him.
My eyes shot to Dante, trying to judge his reaction. He pressed his lips together, obviously trying to smother a laugh.
“You told your dad about wanting to get your first kiss this summer?”
I shrugged. “We talk about everything.”
“Wow. I’ll have to get some pointers from him. I can’t even get you to return a text.” He stepped closer to me.
I bit my lip. “Okay. Consider this your answer. I forgive you. There.” And I did. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t like me that way.
“That sounded sincere.”
“Dante…” I drew out the syllables of his name. “Look, I have a lot going on inside besides just being mad at you for teasing me.”
He met my eyes, his so searching and earnest that I couldn’t look away, even though I was afraid of what he would see in mine. His brows furrowed. “I never knew until recently that you didn’t know how amazing you are. You always came across as this confident girl—so much smarter than everyone else, but not in an arrogant way. More like you existed in a different world but occasionally tuned into ours, you know?”
I pressed my lips together as a frown pulled down on them. I refused to cry in front of him again. “Why would you notice someone having self-esteem issues? You’re…you’re pretty perfect.”
“Oh yeah? How so?”
I laughed, but it sounded heavy and angry. “Look at you. You look like you belong on the cover of one of my books. And you’re plenty smart and a nice guy. And you’re funny too.” I glared at him again. “Except when you’re accusing me of having diarrhea when I did not.”
His eyebrow twitched upward and his lips quirked into a half-smile. “Yeah…” He rubbed the side of his face. “That wasn’t my best moment. I’m not sure why I thought that was a good idea. You’re just so fun to tease, but I took that one too far. I sometimes forget that girls aren’t as down with bathroom humor as guys, you know?”
“You wouldn’t forget if I was a different girl.”
The muscles in his jaw twitched. “True. But you aren’t a different girl. You’re…you.”
Okay, what the heck was up with his voice? Why did it sound all deep and sultry all of a sudden? Especially when his words sounded more like an insult than the compliment his tone suggested.
I needed to have things clear and easy to understand. “Okay, look. We’re friends again. Does that make you feel better?”
“Yes. I guess. Are you sure?”
“Well aren’t we?”
He held his hands up defensively. “We are. Of course we are. Why wouldn’t we be?”
There was absolutely no reason why we would be of course, but the way he kept looking at me and the sound of his voice sometimes
and the occasional touches were sending mixed signals. But I’d gotten tangled up with that kind of thinking once already and I wasn’t going to let it happen again.
“Exactly.”
But Dante just looked at me like he was confused.
I sighed. “Look, it was really sweet of you to bring breakfast over—and it’s delicious. But I don’t think I’m up for hanging out right now.”
He nodded but didn’t speak or move.
“I’ll see you at work tonight, okay?”
How long was he going to stand in my kitchen, just staring me down? But when he at last nodded and took a step, it was towards me, not away. Before my brain caught up to what was happening, Dante pulled me into a hug.
My heart had never beat so fast, I was sure of it. For a few seconds, all of my senses went into hyperfocus. I smelled the combination of his warm skin with a hint of salt like an ocean breeze and the fresh cotton of his T-shirt. My ears caught his quick exhale and the soft hushing sound made by his fingers against my shirt as he rubbed my back. For a moment I wasn’t sure what to do with my arms and hands, but since it was awkward holding them stiffly at my side, I finally put them around his waist. And there, beneath his t-shirt, I felt the corded lines of his back and the waistband of his shorts. For a split second of insanity, I knew an urge to slide my fingers under his shirt and see what his skin felt like.
And that was when I panicked and anchored my hands on his hips, pushing away from him. “See you later.”
I turned and ran outside. It was rude of me to make him walk out of my house alone, but I couldn’t take another moment around him just then when all of my feelings were so exposed.
Chapter Eleven
Because I was so messed up over Dante, I didn’t even care that the sunny morning had turned into a grey and stormy evening. I didn’t even care that Lori and her posse were also working that night.
Lori, like a lot of mean girls I’d known in my life, was super skinny and a pretty in an emaciated way. She had platinum blond streaks in her dark blond hair, all braided back into a high ponytail that showed off the different layers of color. From her expert hand with makeup, she’d spent a lot more time practicing with it than I have, but all of those things would have been a lot more effective in my opinion if she didn’t always have such a bitter expression on her face. I wondered what customers thought when their waitress looked like she’d just eaten something nasty.
Never Let Me Forget (Summer of First Kisses Book 2) Page 6