What if it didn’t last and they broke up? What then?
She clutched at her chest. She suddenly felt hollow. Her head was spinning, and she slipped sideways. Beau was there to catch her.
“Whoa – are you alright?” He held her close to him.
She couldn’t tell him about the heartbreak she’d anticipated. “I, uh, I’m okay now. I must have stood up too quickly.”
“Or maybe you’re hungry. Let’s sit down and eat.”
At least he’d accepted her explanation without question. Even come up with a good reason of his own.
She stared across at him as he ate. She’d never known how sexy a cowboy could be until she met Beau. His brothers didn’t do a thing for her, not that she had seen much of them, they were always busy. So it wasn’t the cowboy rep, it was the man himself.
“Man, you’re a good cook,” he suddenly declared. “These muffins are to die for.” He took another mouthful. “A man could easily get used to this.”
She watched as he chewed his food. How that simple act became sensual, she’d never know, but right now she wanted to kiss him.
She leaned forward and covered his lips with her own.
He didn’t object. “Well, little lady,” he said between kisses. “I didn’t expect this.”
She pulled back. “Sorry,” she said quietly. “I, I overstepped the mark.”
“Uh, uh. You most certainly did not.” He grinned, her favorite way for him to be. His dimples made him look even more cute than he was already.
Cute in a manly way of course. He’d hate for her to think otherwise.
He held her tight as they lay on the blanket, staring up at the sky. Her head rested on his chest, and she could hear his heart beating wildly.
“Did you enjoy the ride?” he asked, tightening his hold on her.
“I did. Surprisingly.”
He looked down at her. “I’m sure Blaze did too. She seemed happy to be out of that paddock.”
Beau checked his watch. “As much as I’m enjoying being here with you, we’d better make a move.”
She was disappointed but began to get up. “Good idea. I don’t want to have to rush for tonight’s supper.”
He held her hands and helped Simone to her feet. Warmth flooded her.
Both horses trotted over to them when Beau called them, and they were soon on their way back to the ranch.
* * *
Simone had worked hard all day preparing for this night.
She had gone above and beyond to bake and keep everything a secret, knowing it meant a lot to Vern, as well as Mrs Simpson.
Yesterday had officially been her last day, so Simone had been able to prepare for the party without interruption.
Despite it being a celebration, it was also a somber time for some. After more than twenty years on the ranch, she was leaving.
Beau, more than anyone, knew how isolating it could be way out there on Silver Shoe Ranch. They were hours from anywhere. Anyone.
As a small child, it didn’t bother him so much. There was always something to explore, and places to discover.
Many of the ranch hands were like a big brother to him. They took him in hand and taught him everything he knew now. As an adult, he loved the life, but not the isolation so much.
Despite having ranch hands, the Hadley boys all pitched in and did the hard work, just like the rest of the cowboys. That way they always knew what was going on and kept their skills up to date.
Vern did most of the paperwork, but the boys also had a hand in it. They were expected to take over the ranch one day, and paperwork was part of the job.
As the eldest Hadley, Beau would have to take on the majority of the paperwork.
“I’d like to thank Mrs Simpson for all her years of hard work feeding this mob,” Vern motioned to the crowd in the dining room. The place won’t be the same without her.”
There was whistling and applauding. “I’d also like to thank Simone for the wonderful spread she’s provided tonight. You did a great job, Simone.” Vern smiled at her.
Now that Simone knew she was staying, she seemed more relaxed.
She did a little mock bow. She really had put on a wonderful spread. Not only did she bake muffins, cakes and slices, she made sausage rolls, little pies, quiches, cheese twists, corn dip, roasted parmesan potatoes, and various other savory treats.
She certainly was a trooper, which was just one of the reasons he’d come to love her.
There was so much to hate about this place – the isolation, the number of people she had to cook for, and not least, the cold. It was clear she wasn’t used to it.
Beau wondered what she would think when the cold really set in. It was the one thing she complained about.
He hadn’t yet told her it would be snowing for Christmas.
The speeches were over, and Vern handed a gift to Mrs Simpson as an appreciation of all she’d done. “There’s a bonus in your pay this week too,” he told her quietly, so only Beau could hear. He happened to know it was the equivalent of a month’s pay.
Simone strolled past, and he pulled her to him. “I know this sounds horrible,” he said so only she could hear. “But I’m glad Mrs Simpson was retiring. Otherwise we wouldn’t have met.”
He tightened his grip on her, not caring who saw them. He leaned into her and kissed her lightly.
“I knew you didn’t leave my girl alone,” Mrs Simpson said loudly. At least this time she had a smile on her face.
Everyone in the room laughed.
Someone put on some soft music, and Beau pulled her onto the make-shift dance floor. Their first-ever dance together.
He knew all eyes were on them, he could feel it. He was certain every cowboy in that room would be jealous of him, snagging such a beautiful woman.
She leaned into him as they moved around the tiny dance floor. He didn’t know how to dance, so it was more like little shuffles. He had a sneaky suspicion she was the same but didn’t care.
His hands rested on her hips, then slowly crept up her back. He felt an arm go around him, then she rested her head on his shoulder. He held onto other hand and squeezed it tight.
His heart rate hitched up, just holding her like this. He wished he could hold her forever.
He thought by now people would stop watching them, but he could feel their gaze burn a hole in his back. “Come on,” he said, pulling her toward the house. “Get your jacket, and we’ll find somewhere quiet.”
* * *
Simone pulled her scarf up around her neck and zipped up her jacket. “Warm enough?”
She nodded but Beau pulled her closer anyway.
“The stars are so bright out here. They’re like little Christmas lights flashing in the sky.”
He grinned. “You don’t have that in the city?”
“Never. And the moon – it’s huge. We never see the moon like that.”
Beau pulled her in to face him. He touched his gloved fingers to her cheek. “I hope you always get to see them that way,” he said, then kissed her.
His kiss was gentle, despite the urgency he felt. “Simone, I…”
Suddenly, they were in bright light. Someone had turned on the floodlights and turned them their way. They obviously thought it was funny, but to Beau, it was far from it.
He pulled her close, trying to shelter her from the prying eyes. “What’s going on?” She really had no idea.
“Invasion of privacy,” he said, then grabbed her by the hand and pulled her along. They ended up in the vegetable garden his mother had planted many years ago. “This is as good as it gets,” he said.
They stood amongst the turnips and potatoes. “Simone, I think I’m falling for you,” he said. “And I get the impression you feel the same.”
“I,” She hesitated. And that worried him.
“Simone? If there’s a problem, tell me now.” His heart was racing, he didn’t want to lose her. Was he pushing her too quickly?
She covered his lips wit
h her fingers. “Shhhhhh, don’t spoil it. Let’s enjoy it while it lasts.”
He stepped back out of her embrace. Was she for real? This was much more important to him than just a fling. He thought she’d felt the same way as he did. He was in this for the long haul. Forever.
“Is this a game to you,” he asked. He couldn’t disguise the annoyance in his voice.
She shuffled her feet before answering. “Is it to you?”
She’d totally avoided the question.
He grabbed her hand and pulled her along. “I’ll take you back to the house,” he said, still thoroughly annoyed, and even a little angry.
It felt as though someone had detonated his heart.
* * *
Why did she say that? She must have known it would upset Beau.
Simone closed her eyes, fighting the tears that threatened to break through.
Of course she knew it would, that’s why she did it. Not to upset him, but to stop him in his tracks.
But why would you do that, when things were going so well?
The little voice in her head was relentless.
She knew the reason, although she didn’t want to admit it – they were getting too close, and she was afraid.
She’d never had a relationship. Not a real one. She’d had dates here and there, but that was about it. She’d never gone past two dates.
Simone hadn’t thought about it before, but now realized fear was definitely the reason.
Whether it was fear of becoming close to someone, or fear of being hurt, she wasn’t sure.
But now she’d hurt Bea, and she wasn’t sure either of them would recover intact.
There was no other way – as much as she loved it here, as much as she finally felt part of a family, she would have to leave.
CHAPTER FOUR
Simone pulled her battered bag from the wardrobe.
She carefully folded the clothes Beau had bought for her and left them on the bed. Along with her beloved cowboy boots.
Her old worn clothes, she shoved into the bag, tears streaming down her face.
She felt hollow. As though a parent or sibling had died.
She clutched her chest. Why did she ever come here?
She knew how it would end. It always did – she always came out worse off than she went in.
She held back a sob.
The house was quiet – everyone had gone to bed. Beau had tapped on her door a few times, but she’d ignored him. Made out she was sound asleep. But how could she sleep after what she’d said.
And now she was walking out on him. Forever.
She thought about the times they’d been together. What it felt like in his arms. How her heart beat when he kissed her, and how she’d felt his presence before she even saw him.
Her heart ached.
Simone fumbled through her bag until she found her keys. She wasn’t sure how far her beat up jalopy would get her, but she’d be away from the Silver Shoe Ranch, however far she got.
Away from Beau.
Her heart broke a little more, if that was even possible.
Her was the love of her life. The one. Her soulmate.
But she was too afraid to stay and make a life with him. Afraid of having her heart broken down the track. So, she decided to break her own heart right now instead.
* * *
Beau’s heart was twisted in two.
He knew Simone loved him. Was one thousand percent positive of it.
So why did she say what she did?
This was never a fling to him. He would never do that to her. He was in it for the long haul, and he’d hoped she was too.
Despite what she’d said, he still believed they had a chance. Was certain she loved him the way he loved her.
He’d finally admitted it to himself, and it was probably too late.
He lay in bed staring at the ceiling. Sleep evaded him, and he just kept going over and over their conversation in his mind.
Nothing changed. The outcome was always the same.
She’d dumped him.
He’d tried to talk to her, but she’d ignored him. He wasn’t going to barge in without an invitation, although he was sorely tempted.
He jumped out of bed and flung the curtains open, then stared at the scene before him.
The mountains were majestic against the cloudless sky, the moon peaking out behind them.
“I really love her, Mom,” he said out loud.
He heard her voice as clearly as if she stood next to him. “Then go after her, Son. Don’t let her get away over some silly little thing.”
It was exactly what Marianne would tell him if she was here. He knew she would.
He pulled on his jeans and a pullover and went to her room.
The door stood open, but Simone wasn’t there.
He found a note on top of the clothes he’d bought for her. “I’m sorry,” it said, and was sighed “Simone”, with a tiny heart over the ‘i’ the way she always did.
Pulling on some boots from his room, he rushed outside, but it was too late – her little jalopy, as she called it, was gone.
He wiped at his eyes.
It felt as though his heart was dying as it shattered into a million tiny pieces.
* * *
Simone sat back and slammed her hands to the steering wheel.
“Great time to die, you stupid car,” she screamed. But no one heard.
She wiped at her tear streaked face, not sure if she was crying about Beau or the car, or both.
She hadn’t even left the property yet. She was somewhere along the enormous driveway that led to the main road.
She’d been driving for a little over an hour when the car coughed and spluttered, and finally died.
There was no way for her to fix it – she knew nothing about cars – and there was no reception on her cell, so she couldn’t call for help. Not that she knew who to call.
She looked about, not that she thought it would achieve much. There were no cowboys out and about at this hour. Although about now they’d be turning up for breakfast.
She swallowed back her guilt for letting them down.
It was too early for sunrise, and the sky looked eerie at this time of day. Another half hour or so and she would be reveling in its beauty.
She wondered if anyone had noticed her missing yet.
Okay, she wondered if Beau had noticed her missing. If he was missing her, because she sure was missing him.
She loved his scratchy beard in the morning before he shaved, and the way he came up behind her and hugged her tight before making his coffee.
The way he took a deep breath and declared “something smells good” while he waited for the jug to boil, set her skin to goosebumps.
When he hugged her when no one else was looking, it set her heart on fire.
Every. Single. Time.
So why did she leave?
Why run from the thing that’s made her the happiest for a very long time?
Because she was afraid.
Not only of having her heart broken, but of hurting Beau.
The earlier she left, the easier it would be – for both of them.
She wasn’t ranch wife material, not that he’d asked her, but sometime down the track it would come up. She just knew it would.
And how did she tell Beau about her nomad life? He’d led a stable home life, lived at the ranch forever, and had loving parents.
She thought about his mother, and her beautiful horse, Blaze.
She swallowed back a sob. She was going to miss Blaze more than she’d realized.
Simone put her fingers to her forehead. She was developing a migraine.
What if no one came looking for her, or no one ever found her, and she died out here?
It was rare for anyone to come out this way; they rarely left the ranch.
She lay down on the seat of her car to try and ease her migraine. Eventually she drifted off to sleep.
* * *
Beau was desperate.
He had no idea when she’d left, so didn’t know where to start. His only hope was that her dilapidated car had finally breathed its last breath.
Hopefully not too far away, because he had no idea where she was heading.
He started up the helicopter as soon as it was light enough. He’d paced out the front as the cowboys headed in for breakfast.
“Help yourself today boys,” he’d told them. “Simone’s…” What should he tell them? He decided the truth was best. He took a deep breath. “Simone’s gone,” he said, his voice breaking.
“What did you do, Beau?” The accusation was clear.
Old Joe piped in. “Did you break that little girl’s heart?” He could hear the anger in Joe’s voice.
Others just shook their heads.
This was his fault, he knew it was true. He’d pushed her. Played his hand too quickly. She wasn’t used to relationships, that much was clear, and he’d scared her off.
He’d filled the urn and put out cereal and bowls. The rest they’d have to do themselves.
Now that it was light enough, his mission began.
His brother Hank sat next to him. Beau had reluctantly accepted his offer of a lookout.
He’d created this mess and needed to fix it. He wasn’t sure what sort of reception he would get from Simone when he found her. Or even if he would find her.
He swallowed hard at the thought.
* * *
They’d been searching for over an hour, and so far, no sign of Simone or her car.
Beau wasn’t about to give up.
“What time did you say she left?” Hank asked.
Beau looked across at his brother. “I didn’t. I have no idea. She could have gotten out onto the main road, but with that beat-up old heap, I doubt it.”
Hank stared at him. “She could be in real trouble. Stuck in the middle of nowhere, perhaps.”
Beau felt his blood begin to boil. “You are so helpful, Hank,” he said angrily. “That’s the last thing I needed to hear.”
“Just tellin’ it like it is, Bro.”
“Keep your eyes down and find her.” Beau didn’t want to talk to his brother. He was beyond annoyed.
“What’s that over there?” Hank asked, pointing to something somewhere in the distance.
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