Lily balled her fists into knots on top of the bedclothes. "Don't talk to me like that, Cade. You have no right. What we did was your choice. You never asked my opinion on the matter. And now Travis is here and could take Roy away if he wanted. I'll be damned if Roy goes anywhere without me."
"And I'll be damned if you go anywhere without me." Cade said it quietly, but the threat was still there as he pulled away from the wall.
Flinging back the covers, Lily leapt for the long-barreled Kentucky rifle Jim had always kept beside the bed. Grabbing it, she held it steady to her shoulder. "Not one foot closer, Cade. You had your way last night. It's my turn."
"You're my wife, Lily. Do you expect me to sleep out there," he nodded toward the window, "while you sleep in your lonely bed? Or do you entertain some expectations of sleeping with your friend Travis?"
"Get out, Cade. I don't have to listen to that. For once, you have to listen to me. When Travis is gone, we'll talk about what we've done, but not a moment sooner. I'm not ready to be a wife again, Cade. You should have asked me that the first time."
"You were ready enough to take what I had to offer." The barrel of the rifle was pressed against his chest and Cade grabbed it, twisting it out of her hands. "I'll not let him have you without a fight."
The words "and he'll lose" hung unsaid between them.
Lily took the rifle Cade shoved back into her hands and watched in silence as he climbed out of the window.
She wondered what it would have been like if she had welcomed him into her bed, accepted his right to act for her, allowed his strength to come between Travis and Roy. But she wasn't ready to find out. It was time that she did a few things for herself.
But her body felt hollow when she crawled between the sheets without him.
Chapter 15
"Juanita, these have got to be the best cookies I've ever tasted, and I've eaten at the tables of kings."
"Who don't serve cookies," Lily murmured at the red flannel shirt she was sewing.
Juanita's shy smile didn't falter at Lily's cynical words. She set another plate of cookies on the table in front of Travis and backed away.
"Of course kings eat cookies, don't they, Roy?" Travis directed the question at the boy bundled beside the fire with his leg propped on a sawed-off stump Cade had carried in for a footstool.
Roy looked up from the pulp magazine Travis had found in his wagon and gave the foolishness of the adults a look that properly put them in their place.
"Who cares what kings eat? I like cookies." And he went back to reading.
"Your child, not mine, Lily. You've ruined the boy." These words were said low enough so no other could hear.
Lily flinched, not at the insult—for she knew Travis was being facetious—but at this first mention of what had hung between them. Travis had come and gone over the past weeks, exploring his new sales district, never staying gone long.
"Jim was a practical man, not a storyteller. He raised Roy the same," she replied.
Juanita came back to pour Travis a new cup of coffee, and he caught her hand and kissed it. "I think I'm in love, Lily. This woman is all a man could dream of. I've always wanted a woman who could cook circles around me."
Juanita withdrew her hand, but she didn't run away as she was apt to do when a man became too forward. She merely sniffed and flicked the length of her beautifully handwoven skirt in disdain as she moved away. Lily watched this display with curiosity, but Travis seemed impervious to the honor that had just been bestowed upon him.
"Then it's a good thing you never got me," she replied curtly when Juanita didn't speak for herself.
"Cooking isn't the only attribute I admire," Travis murmured, giving Lily a wicked look.
She was saved by a commotion outside that resulted in the entrance of her father with Ollie Clark behind him. Keeping her irritation to herself, Lily inquired pleasantly, "I don't suppose you brought Miss Bridgewater with you, Ollie? I'm purely starved for the voice of another woman."
She was being spiteful and she shouldn't be. The actual truth was that she was beginning to enjoy the attention she had never received as a young girl being courted. Ollie and Travis had taken to fighting over her every desire and snarling at each other in between times. It would be amusing if it weren't for Cade's absence from the picture. He apparently had the impression that he was above such antics.
Which was probably no more than the truth. Cade had a way of coming in smelling like horse manure and covered in straw and still looking the part of noble aristocrat. He entered now as Travis was inquiring into the events in San Antonio and Ollie was stonily replying. Cade had at least cleaned up, Lily noted as he accepted the cup of coffee Juanita handed to him. He didn't even look at her, but strode to the fire and dropped something into Roy's lap.
Without a word to the company, Cade went over to the small trundle bed they had fixed in the far corner for Serena to use. Before he could lift the sleeping child from the bed, Lily halted him.
"Stay and have some supper, Cade. You must be hungry. Juanita, there's still a little of that corn pone and stew left, isn't there?"
Roy was studying the object that Cade had given him. He held it up to the fire and watched it wink in the glow. "Is it gold, Cade? Is there gold out there?"
His excitement brought the other two men over to examine the rock with the glittering streak through it. Cade adjusted Serena's covers and came back to the table where Juanita was already uncovering a pot left warming by the fire.
"Fool's gold," Cade replied in answer to Roy's question. "Pretty, but worthless."
Disappointed, the two men returned to the table, but Roy polished the rock on his sleeve and continued to admire it. Cade ate, ignoring Travis and Ollie. When Ephraim offered him a flask of whiskey, Cade accepted it, pouring a dollop into his coffee.
Lily shoved her sewing into her basket and looked pointed at Roy, who looked resigned. "It's time for bed, young man. You need plenty of rest if that leg's to heal."
"Seems to me it can heal just fine right here," he protested, but he reached for the crutches Cade had carved out of old tree limbs.
"No sass, young man, or you'll be going to bed directly after supper for a week." Lily gave his head an affectionate lick as he aimed for the makeshift partition they had erected at the end of the room. Crutches couldn't get him up and down the narrow stairs to his loft.
"He's a fine boy, Lily. He'll be a big help around this place someday." Ollie helped himself to the plate of cookies in the middle of the table after Roy retired.
"I thought you were the one trying to persuade her to sell and get out." Travis dragged the plate closer to him and took two more cookies.
"That would be the best thing for a woman on her own without a man to protect her," Ollie agreed, unperturbed.
"Will you quit talking about me as if I'm not here? Ollie, is there any word in town about plans for Christmas? With the piano there, couldn't we have some kind of festivity? Without liquor, of course." She gave Cade a scowl, and he deliberately poured another swallow from the flask into his cup.
"There's not many willin' to leave their places unprotected that long,” Ollie said. “We've got people comin' across the river to fight with Houston that don't seem to know the difference between what's theirs and what's everybody else's."
"From the sounds of it, Houston's going to need those men when Santa Anna gets here,” Travis said.
Travis had taken to Texas politics with all the eagerness of an excited puppy with a new toy. He had visited the camps around San Antonio, spoken to Austin before he left his trained military commanders in command, and generally scouted his way around until he was familiar with all the players. To Travis, it was watching a new government in the making. To settlers like Lily, it was watching the grass being burned so neither side could fodder their animals. She had no patience with his enthusiasm.
"There ain't a Mexican goin' to return after bein' driven out of the Alamo with their tails between
their legs. They're all cowards." Ollie didn't have to look at the stoic man sitting silently at the table, eating his supper. Everyone knew what Ollie was trying to say.
Cade broke off a piece of cornbread and sprinkled it in his stew.
Cade was many things, but he wasn't a loudmouthed braggart like Ollie Clark. Lily got up to bring Cade another piece of corn pone. She might want to swat Cade upon occasion, but Ollie had no right to take cheap shots at him.
Her action didn't go unnoticed, and Travis changed the subject. Ollie left soon after, assuring Lily that he would do all he could to see some kind of Christmas festivity was put together.
"I don't know why you entertain that man, Lily. He's got snake oil behind his ears." Travis reluctantly pushed the plate of cookies away but smiled as Juanita poured him another cup of coffee.
Cade coughed on his dry corn pone, and Ephraim stood up to pound him on the back. Lily gave Cade a suspicious glance, but she was tired of the competition. She left the floor open for her father to explain.
"Ollie wants to buy Lily's spread. He's got a store back in town and a hankering to be a rancher. I've been trying to talk her into selling."
"She'd be a fool to sell, especially to a rascal like that one. He's got a friend in town who tried to sell me a piece of land sight unseen. I may be pretty, but I'm not dumb." Travis stood up and glanced toward Lily. "Why don't you come out with me and get a little fresh air? It seems all you ever do is work."
Lily's first thought was to look at Cade and see how he was taking this, but then she corrected herself. It didn't matter how Cade was taking it. He didn't ask her permission to do whatever he wanted. He didn't even behave like a respectable employee. Just because she had been foolish enough to go to bed with him once didn't make her his wife or require her to act like one.
Without glancing at Cade, Lily reached for her shawl. This was Sunday, and she had on her best merino dress for the occasion. Cade hadn't mentioned it or even seemed to notice, although it was the same deep blue as the gingham he had admired. But Travis had been properly appreciative. But then, Travis always was.
Outside on the front porch, Lily waited for Travis to lead the way. The sky seemed to be inundated in stars and cloaked in black velvet. She breathed deeply, smelling the wood smoke coming from the chimney and noticing a hint of frost in the air.
"I've been waiting for you to tell me about Roy, Lily. How long are you going to make me wait?"
Well, she had known this conversation had to come sometime. She might as well get it over with. Lily leaned against the porch post and didn't look at him.
"What is there to tell? You can see he's doing fine. This place will be his when he grows up, and he knows it. What more can you ask?"
"You haven't said the words yet, Lily. You haven't said he's mine." Travis caught the front of her shawl and turned her around to look at him. "If you could have waited just a few months more, I'd have been back. I would have married you. We could have been a family."
Lily looked at him incredulously. "How was I supposed to know that? Every night that week your wagon was there, and then one night it wasn't. You left without a word. I thought I was going to die. A few months later, I was almost certain of it. If it hadn't been for Jim, I'd probably have thrown myself in the river. Roy isn't yours, Travis. He's mine and Jim's."
Travis stroked a straying hair from her forehead. "I was nineteen, Lily, and running scared. I didn't have any money, the sheriff was on my back with half a dozen complaints, and you were the best thing that had ever happened to me. What was I supposed to do? Take you from your comfortable home and family and set you up in my wagon? That's why I went to Doc Joseph, so I could offer something permanent."
Lily jerked her head away. "It doesn't matter now, Travis. It's over and done with. Roy and I are happy. You can go on your way without worrying about us. I don't know why you've lingered. You can see we've got all the help we need."
Travis's hands fell to his sides. "And what about me? Don't I have anything to say about this? I've just discovered I have a son, a family I knew nothing about. Do you expect me to just get in my wagon and move on? Do you have any idea how lonely the nights are out there? How many nights I've seen the lights in the houses as I go by and wondered what it would have been like if I'd settled down?"
"Travis, you always could tell a good tale, but yes. I expect you to get in your wagon and move on. You weren't meant for the life we have here, and I'm not meant for yours. You're always welcome to come by and see us, but that's all, Travis. My son belongs here. You can't take him away."
"Is that what you think I'm planning on doing? I'll admit, I've given it some thought. He's smart as a whip and he'd be good company, but he's only a boy. He needs his mother. I need his mother. Marry me, Lily. I can settle down here, set up a regular practice. I feel it in my bones. Texas is the home I've been looking for."
Lily stared into the starlit sky. Somebody had finally said the words. They should be sweet to her ears. She'd had to propose to Jim herself. And Cade had never bothered to ask. But sweet as the words might be, she wasn't ready for them.
"I'm discovering I like being single Travis. I don't need to rely on anyone for anything. I don't know that I'll ever marry again."
"Don't say that, Lily." Travis caught her waist in his arms and began pressing kisses behind her ear. "You just don't remember how good we were together. Let me bring back the memories, Lily. Then you can decide whether you want to go without that kind of loving for the rest of your life."
Travis started to kiss her, but a hand grabbed his collar and hauled him backward. Infuriated, Travis swung a wicked left punch that would have caught anyone else by surprise and floored them. Cade merely held up his palm to deflect the blow and shoved Travis backward.
"The lady said no. Just take her word for it and go back where you belong."
"Dammit, who do you think you are, you overdeveloped buffalo? This discussion is between the lady and myself, and I'll thank you to stay out of it." Travis raised his fist for another punch, but Lily caught his arm.
"Don't, either of you. If I wasn't so mad, I'd laugh. Where were the lot of you when I was sixteen and looking for a dancing partner? Well, I don't need a partner any longer. So go find someone more amusing to fight over. I'm not worth the effort."
Lily swung around and marched in the door without looking back. Cade watched her go, then turned to see if the other man still wanted to challenge him. He had enough whiskey in his blood right now to be ready for the fight.
"Don't look at me like that, cowboy." Travis leaned back against the porch post and folded his arms across his tailored frock coat. "I've no desire to have my face creamed into tomorrow's mush to give you a chance to work off the liquor. You don't really think you have a chance in Hades to win her if I can't, do you?"
"I have a better chance than you do. At least I know what a ranch is all about."
Cade walked into the night, leaving Travis to consider that one certainty. Travis might be everything that Cade was not, but the one thing that mattered to Lily besides her son was the ranch.
In anyone's eyes, that pretty much made it a draw.
Chapter 16
The Christmas festivities turned out to be Lily's undoing.
They started joyously enough. The anticipation of having a real Christmas get-together after all the years of hard labor and isolation had all the women in the surrounding area excited. Trunks left closed since they had crossed the Sabine were opened and lovingly rummaged through. Remembered customs from Kentucky, Alabama, Mississippi, and even as far away as England and Germany were pulled out and mulled over and converted to the availability of local resources.
Ollie's barn was trimmed with pine and decorated with acorns and pinecones. Magnolia leaves from somewhere to the east were nailed proudly over the door. A sweet-smelling brew of dried orange rind and cinnamon simmered on the fire the men had built near the door. Whiskey punch was the order of the day, but the wom
en made no objections to this male addition to their celebration. War was in the air, but for this one day they would ignore it.
Running her fingers over the piano keys, Lily laughed at the sounds Roy created from the flute Cade had made for him. For one whole day she was going to forget about the concerns of home, the worry over how she would pay Langton for the hire of his slaves to pick the cotton, the need to get her cattle to market. These could be the least of her problems. She glanced surreptitiously at Cade lounging against a barn post drinking from a steaming cup of punch and sighed.
It wouldn't work. It couldn't possibly work. She didn't want to consider that it might have to. She looked up to find Travis determinedly heading in her direction and smiled. He'd been out "scouting the territory" after they'd had word that the Alamo was now in the hands of Austin's rebel army. She was glad he had returned in time for the celebration.
"You look positively glowing, Lily. You ought to wear your hair like that more often. It becomes you." He touched the soft loops of gold she had painstakingly arranged over her ears.
"It will all come down before the evening's end," she replied disparagingly, trying to ignore the appreciative gleam in Travis's eyes. He still had the power to make her feel like an attractive woman. She wished he didn't. It would make life much simpler.
"Let the fiddler play, and come and dance with me, Lily, my sweet. I want to hold you in my arms again. It's been a long cold spell since I saw you last," he whispered near her ear as he ostensibly bent over the music on the rack.
"We dance reels here, Travis. You're not likely to hold me much in a reel, so I'll dance with you. But that's all I'll do." Lily accepted his hand as she rose from the bench.
She didn't complain when Cade joined the dancers with Maria. He had played the flute earlier while she had played the piano. It was time some other musician held the floor. But she suspected that wasn't his only reason for joining the dancers.
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