Chapter 34
"Lily, I do not like to leave you. I should not go with him. But he says he needs me..." Juanita looked helplessly from the woman who had taken her in five long years ago to the man who waited patiently now by the horses, ready to take her away.
The sun of late May beat down upon them, making Lily regret the heavy Indian clothing. She thought longingly of the cottons in her cool cabin, but she could not return there yet, not until Cade was ready to travel.
Lily looked at Travis, his curly dark hair grown long with neglect, his laughing eyes solemn now as he waited in the distance for the two women to confer and make this decision. Then she looked at Juanita. "I do not want to make you do anything you do not wish to do. You are more sister to me than my own. We have grown up together. Travis will do nothing you do not wish, if it is him that you fear."
Juanita glanced nervously at her moccasin-clad feet. "I do not think I could ever be to him what he wishes me to be," she said softly. "I would go with him to make the ranch ready for your return, but that is not all he wants, I think."
"He will not force you, Juanita, this I can promise."
Juanita didn't look up. "It was Ricardo, you know. He was the one who did this to me."
Shocked, feeling the shock in her very center, Lily could only stare at her friend's bent head. Ricardo? She’d known Juanita despised him, but how could the dapper Mexican lower himself to rape the child Juanita had been?
Misunderstanding Lily's silence, Juanita hurried to explain. "He is evil. You must understand that. He did not lay a hand to me, but he told the others what to do. They... they used... things." She could not describe the instruments of horror that had been used on her in addition to the normal male equipment that had torn away her innocence. "When they could not perform anymore he told them what to use and how to use it. And all because I would not give him freely what they stripped away."
Lily choked and closed her eyes, swaying with horror, grabbing her stomach as if to protect the child within from such words. "Why did you never tell me this?"
"Because I was afraid. Because he said he would do worse should I ever mention what happened. I did not know his name then. I know it now, and I spit on it." Juanita did as she said, her eyes blazing fiercely. Seeing Lily's expression, she grabbed Lily's arm. "I did not mean to make you ill! Come, we will sit down. He does not need me. I will stay here with you."
Lily grasped her spinning senses and shook her head. It was quite obvious what she needed to do now, for Juanita's own good. Juanita needed a man like Travis, a man who could say the sweet words and lies that made a woman feel like a woman without even touching her. Even if Travis should eventually leave her, Juanita would discover that lovemaking was not what one perverted monster had made of it. To do otherwise would leave her a victim forever.
"Dove Woman will look after me. You must go with Travis. He needs you more than I do. I would not tell you to go with him unless I trusted him. Help him," Lily whispered, but her prayers said "Help her" as she looked up to Travis's forlorn figure in the distance.
Reluctantly, Juanita left, and Lily watched them go until she could see them no longer. Then she turned back to the lodge and the man waiting restlessly. Cade regained his strength too rapidly to be a good patient.
"They have gone?" he demanded as soon as she entered. He sat propped against the wall with a bundled buffalo hide as a cushion.
"You knew it was Ricardo who ordered her raped, didn't you?" Lily accused the minute her eyes adjusted from the brilliant sun to the dim interior.
Cade watched her warily as she sat beside him. "She is lucky there was no brothel she could be sold to. He has done that also."
Lily could not comprehend a wickedness so immense. "Why? What does he gain from such acts?"
"Power. Ricardo craves power. It is the way of some men. Women are easy victims. He chews them up and spits them out as a man would practice shooting at targets to keep his sight skilled."
"What is it he wants with my ranch?"
Cade took his time answering, formulating the words slowly. "I think mostly he wants land because land is power in Texas. There is little money here, but land can be traded for anything, including positions of power. I think he is among the speculators grabbing every acre they can find. Your ranch may not be so important to him now that so many have left Texas and he can buy cheap, except now he knows you are my wife. Now, it is not your land he wants, but me."
"He does not want the land to grow things, but to trade things? And he wants you because your grandfather means you to have his land?"
"The name de Suela carries much distinction in Mexico. Ricardo covets that distinction for himself, but my grandfather has always denied it. He wished his stepson to prove himself; instead, Ricardo denied him the knowledge of my mother and myself. He left Ricardo to look after the ranch, but Ricardo sold parcels and left to ingratiate himself with Austin and the others who would someday take Texas from Mexico. I do not think my grandfather even yet knows the whole truth of Ricardo's despicable character, but he knows enough not to believe his lies."
Cade refrained from saying that he must see that his grandfather was safe. Lily was too close to term for him to leave. The last few months had taught him a few things about their relationship.
Lily leaned back and Cade wrapped his good arm around her so she could rest her head against his shoulder. "I wish we could have brought your grandfather with us, but I did not think he would come."
She was quite right there. Antonio de Suela would not be caught dead in an Indian camp. Cade grinned and allowed his hand to roam. Pregnancy had slowed his wife down and made her a good deal more complacent about allowing such liberties in the broad light of day. He had no aversion to taking advantage of the opportunity offered by his forced idleness.
"Why did you come here and not to the ranch?" he demanded.
Lily knew what he was doing but offered no objection. The heavy layer of deerskin offered protection enough, and she was too unwieldy to do more than enjoy his caresses. She contemplated Cade's question before replying. "You said the ranch would not be safe and that your father's camp would be. I did not think I had the right to endanger your child by going against your wishes."
"You did not like it at the hacienda," he stated, sliding his hand beneath the fringed edges of her smock. "But you will stay in an Indian camp?"
Lily gasped as Cade's warm hand inserted itself between her breasts to stroke and squeeze. Liquid warmth flowed between her thighs, and she had to adjust herself as the sensation grew more demanding. She did not reply readily.
"Neither place is my home, but I will stay where it is safe."
"Travis will tell us when the cabin is ready for our return. I will take you home then."
Lily listened to this pronouncement in astonishment, but all she could wonder was how long it would be until dark and whether there was any way they could satisfy these urges with her belly in between them.
Cade didn't satisfy her curiosity that night or in the other nights they spent in his father's house. El Caballo had a new wife, one scarcely older than his adolescent sons, and their coupling could be heard in the darkness when all else was quiet. Cade and Lily lay stiff and silent in each other's arms, their desire driven below the surface by the communal living.
At the end of the week, Cade signaled his brothers and conferred with them on the progress being made at the ranch. Their response evidently did not please him, for he scowled and increased the exercise of his injured arm despite Lily's protests.
By the time Travis returned, Cade was still limping on his bad knee, but he was also pulling himself off and onto his gelding without effort. Travis glared at his patient in the corral and then went to a worried Lily, leaving Cade to discover his presence whenever he tired of his heroics.
"Should you be standing out here in the hot sun? You ought to be lying down, resting."
"If he doesn't, I don't." Lily glared at her recalcitrant hu
sband, who was now performing tricks for the amusement of his youngest brother. She switched her gaze back to Travis. "How is Juanita?" There was a world of questions in that one, but she did not dare ask them any plainer.
Some of the laughter in Travis's eyes died, and his reply was a little stilted. "She is well. She is a whirlwind of energy. If she could only build cabins, everything would be done. As it is, she keeps all of us fed, has somehow managed to restore mattresses to the beds, and is busily mending anything that falls into her path."
The courtship was obviously not doing well. Lily let the matter slide in favor of more pertinent questions. "Us? Have some of the men returned? Will they be able to help rebuild? Was any of the livestock saved?"
Travis grinned and took Lily's arm as he saw Cade stalking in their direction. "We will find someplace comfortable to discuss this. The only way your obstinate husband will be able to hear the answers is if he sits down and joins us."
Cade growled and appropriated Lily's arm before they entered the lodge, but he made no objection to taking a place on the mat and letting one of the women fetch drinks while he listened to Travis's recounting of the repairs in progress.
"There are chickens all over the damned place, enough to make a dozen mattresses and have stew every night. The hogs have gone wild, but we've been rounding them up and fencing them in. Jack says the cattle are still out there, but there's not been time to count or brand them. We're lucky the Comanches didn't burn us out like they did Bastrop. I guess one scorched building was sufficient to convince whoever robbed the place that there was no point in burning more."
"Then it was Comanches?" Somehow, that relieved Lily. She hadn't seen the destruction Cade had described, but she hated to think it was caused by people who knew them.
Cade and Travis exchanged looks. Cade answered for him. "It was everyone who came through, I suspect. People about to lose everything tend to do desperate things. They were probably hoping to take any kind of portable wealth they could find. Comanches are more likely to fire the place after taking what they want. They would want to drive us out never to return. There could have been some of the Mexican army involved, although I would have thought they'd have stayed farther south of here. They cleaned out everyone they crossed. Some of them had never seen clocks and mirrors or tasted white sugar or owned candle wax. It was an open market to them."
"Thank God we weren't there." Lily shuddered. She resented the loss of the personal possessions she had worked so hard to own, but her family and friends were still alive and relatively unscathed.
Cade dismissed the unpleasant subject and turned to Travis. "Are you staying to help us out?"
Caught by surprise, Travis hesitated. His gaze drifted not to Lily but to the curly-haired boy playing in the dust with his new friends. When his attention returned to Cade, his mouth was set in a firm line. "I have in mind to start a family of my own. I'll be looking for land, but I want it nearby. Roy is still my son."
Cade remained expressionless. "We will have need of all the help we can get. You are welcome to use the cabin until you find what you want. I would not keep you from your son any more than I would keep Lily from him."
They had been through too much by now for either man to speak of debts or gratitude. Travis nodded his acceptance, and Cade returned to the subject uppermost in his mind. "If there is a place where Lily can lie down, we will return with you now. There is much work to be done."
Travis gave him a glare of exasperation. "Lily is in her eighth month. How do you propose to move her back to the ranch? And if I take a look at your shoulder now, is it going to be raw and bleeding again after that asinine performance you just put on?"
Cade peeled back his shirt to reveal an ugly brown mass untouched by bandage but also untouched by the red streaks of infection or the flow of blood. The wound was starting to heal. "I will carry Lily in front of me, as before. The horse has a gentle gait. We will manage."
It was obvious there would be no arguing with him. Imperious as ever, Cade ordered his horse haltered and their belongings packed. Lily could only stand by in amazement as he gave Dove Woman instructions for following them when the time came, bade his father a calm farewell, and told his brothers the buffalo hunt might have to wait until fall. Buffalo hunt? Perhaps she had misunderstood that part of the conversation. In any event, he managed to stir the whole tribe until it hummed like a hive. No wonder he had never made a good employee. He was too accustomed to being the royal prince.
That wasn't a fair accusation, Lily knew, but it helped her to accept Cade's tyrannical habits a little easier. Whatever his background, he was certainly a man more inclined to giving orders than taking them. Without consulting her wishes on the matter, Cade took her onto his saddleless horse. She wanted to go home as badly as he did. With Serena propped in front of Travis, and Roy on his own pony, they set out from the Indian camp.
The gelding's walk was every bit as gentle as Cade had promised, and Lily leaned against his chest and relaxed with the swaying movement, drinking in the fresh, cool scent of pines as they crossed under them, relishing this freedom. She had felt almost as stifled in the Indian camp as she had at the hacienda, but now she was going home. Tonight, she would be in her own bed, and Cade would be by her side.
At that thought, she turned her head upward to catch Cade's dark glance looking down. Lily burned with the intensity she found there, and colored as she noted the direction of his gaze. Juanita had sent a gathered blouse as a gift. The low-cut neckline would have been barely acceptable before her pregnancy; now it was barely decent. It was insane to think Cade could be looking at her with lust, but Lily felt his look as if it were his hand caressing her breast.
She grew restless after that and squirmed until they were in sight of the ranch. She heard Cade muttering curses at her wriggles, but this had all been his idea. Let him pay for it. With the ranch in sight, she settled, her gaze sweeping over the familiar buildings, and she breathed her relief at the sight of men on the roof nailing down shingles on the main cabin.
Serena scrambled out of Travis's arms before he could come to a stop, and Roy rushed his pony on ahead, galloping into the yard and yelling his joy until men came running to discover the source of the ruckus.
Cade read the satisfaction in Lily's eyes as she gazed around her, felt the relaxation in her body as she discovered home almost as good as she remembered it, and recognized the bitterness of defeat along with his relief at her happiness. This would never be his land as his grandfather's would, but Lily had given him something he had sought all his life and craved more than he craved land—acceptance. He had thought to mold her to his way of thinking, but he had come too close to losing her to ignore her wishes any longer. If she could be happy nowhere but here, then here they would stay.
Cade didn't admit his defeat as he helped Lily down from the horse and into the newly refurbished cabin. It wasn't precisely defeat. Lily would give him the handling of her ranch now that she had the child to keep her occupied. Cade knew that. So it was a compromise of sorts. A compromise with definite advantages.
He circled his arms beneath Lily's breasts as she leaned into him to admire all the work completed in their absence. The damage to the mahogany table couldn't be completely repaired, but it could be concealed beneath a gaily embroidered tablecloth. The warped veneer of the chairs had been lovingly tacked down until the damage was scarcely noticeable. Serena's little cubicle sported a new mattress with a ruffled coverlet, and odds and ends of every kind of pottery and tinware that could be found were stacked neatly on the shelves, ready for their next meal.
"You've been spending money again," Lily murmured as she felt Cade's arms tighten around her.
"I spent a lifetime saving that money until I had someone to spend it on. I think I've found what I was looking for."
Lily glanced up, but she could discern nothing unusual in Cade's expression. He had meant nothing more than that he had found a home. She could be happy with that. She w
ould be certain to make this the kind of home he would never wish to leave.
Straightening, Lily turned and looked him in the eye. "Shall we inspect the rest of the house?"
Since the rest of the house meant their bedroom, Cade willingly agreed, a gleam coming to his eye as he followed her out of the main cabin. Even carrying the heavy weight of their child, Lily managed her slender height gracefully, and Cade watched the swing of her hips with interest. He had made an inquiry or two while he was occupying himself in his father's camp. Dove Woman had been particularly knowledgeable. The barren desert of the remaining months of pregnancy and recovery had an oasis or two to be discovered, if he could persuade his wife to the journey.
And judging by the look in Lily's eye, she was willing. Whatever their differences might be elsewhere, they had one thing in common—and the bed they now inspected held equal interest for both of them.
Chapter 35
"Cade, what are you doing?" Lily whispered breathlessly as he came to bed and began tugging her nightgown off.
"Taking advantage of one of the privileges of married life. Besides, it is too warm to be wearing this thing."
Since he was boldly, blatantly naked without showing any evidence of shivering, she could accept his word for that. As Cade knelt beside her on the bed, pulling her gown off, however, Lily felt as if she were about to be scalped by a savage. When he next reached to unplait her hair, a shiver went down her spine.
"Cade, this is foolish. I look like a beached whale. Allow me some decency."
Instead, Cade flung the covers to the floor and straddled her legs, leaning over to rest his ear against her stomach. "I think he speaks Apache, but I can't understand a word he says."
Lily laughed softly and tried to push him away. She was too aware of the muscular hardness of the trunklike thighs on either side of hers, and she couldn't ignore the extent of his arousal. She tried to concentrate on his damaged shoulder, lifting her hand to touch the broken skin. "What language is it that you and your father speak?"
Tin-Stars and Troublemakers Box Set (Four Complete Historical Western Romance Novels in One) Page 30