by Zoey Marcel
“You need to assert yourself tonight and be honest about what it is you really want, or you'll never be happy. If you’re truly yourself, you'll find the right person who can accept that. It they can't, it means they're not worth it, and only an idiot would chase after them.”
She knew what was coming, but rather than smile over the familiar question, her eyes misted.
“Are you an idiot, Kayla?”
“No.” She almost said Master, but so much was up in the air, she didn't know what to call him.
He seemed to wait for the title, looking solemn when it never came, but he quickly veiled the hurt. “I have a proposition for you. If you want to be a sub, then come out into the main area clothed and wearing the blue collar they gave you. You'll have your freedom outside the bedroom and only be submissive when we're having sex or doing a scene.”
She swallowed, hands clamming and shaking. “What if I want to be a slave?”
Hugh looked at her hard and serious. “Then you'll come out into the main area where most of the members are, but you'll be wearing the black collar I gave you.”
Well, that didn't sound so bad.
“Only the collar,” he finished.
Her eyes widened, and her mouth dropped. “You want me to go out there naked in front of everyone?”
“Not if you want to be a bedroom submissive only, but if you truly want to be my slave like you once were, then yes, you'll walk out there naked and collared and kneel in front of me. I'll tie you down to a bench and select a cane. You'll kiss it in acceptance, and then I'll cane you into subspace before getting you off in front of everyone.”
She blinked rapidly, unsure if his intentions were the alluring stuff of fantasy or the horrific material nightmares were made of. “Everyone will see how chubby I am, and the cane will hurt so bad.”
“Then be a sub.” Hugh shrugged with a casual indifference that hurt her as he opened the door. “But if you want to be my slave again, I need you to trust me when I tell you your body is beautiful. I want you to believe how incredible you look when all those people lust after you, some of them masturbating to the lush sight of your naked body.”
More like puking.
“And your Master would require you to face your fear of the cane to please him. I want to take the punishing weapon that was used to hurt you before and bring you into headspace with it.”
Her body trembled. This was her choice. No pressure, but she knew in her heart that she still viewed him as her Master. She didn't have a choice. She wanted him that way. Nothing less would satisfy her.
But the cane?
“I can't.” She sniffled and wiped her nose, a fearful tear trickling down her cheek. “I've never gotten to subspace while having the crap beat out of me with the cane by Slade. I don't believe that even a skilled Dom like you can take me there with something so painful.”
His blue eyes twinkled with challenge. “Never taunt a man who might end up using a cane on you, or I might make you come twice.”
She shuddered, growing wet over the warning.
“Make your choice. It's what you want, not what I want or them.” Hugh left the room, closing the door behind him.
She hugged her arms around herself, shivering with exposure. Sub sounded safer, and it was what the Langley brothers wanted. What the scared side of her wanted, too.
Slave sounded dangerous, but she remembered how complete she'd felt when her Master had trained her, how whole being owned had made her feel.
But the cane? That sucker hurt like a bitch, and Hugh expected her to walk out naked in front of everyone. She could suck in her gut if need be, but she couldn't hide the slight jiggle of her butt when she walked fast, or the cellulite the members would probably see when she was bound with her bottom up, revealed for their scandalized eyes to see.
Of course the men who loved her thought she was beautiful. They'd better. It was their job to make her feel good about herself, but what about the other people? She knew she shouldn't care what they thought, but it would hurt if she heard someone call her fat as Slade sometimes had.
Miranda Langley had been slim as a teenager, and it had pissed her off and likely hurt her feelings when some of the girls had called her anorexic. Kayla knew for a fact Miranda had never been underweight, just naturally slender. She had filled out into adulthood and gotten some curves, but she was still trim and sexy.
Kayla envied her flat stomach, and Miranda had envied Kayla for her large breasts. If only everyone could accept what they had and accentuate their assets.
Kayla was more than happy to show off cleavage. She had great breasts, but that wasn't all Hugh wanted of her. He expected her to come out naked and show her jiggly ass and thick thighs off to everyone. Some of the members were average looking, but there were some bombshell women out there and some hot looking men. They would be disgusted by her, talk about her.
She didn't have to do this, nor did she have to feel the nasty bite of the cane hurting her ever again ... but then she couldn't be Hugh's slave. Did she want to put that out there, though? The Langleys wanted a sub, although she knew Keith secretly wanted her to be his slave.
She'd originally thought the Langleys were too dark for her and she had to kink herself up to please them, but what if her needs were too extreme for them? Did she even want things to change? What if they didn't like her deep level of subservience? Would she lose them?
What if she went out there clothed, proclaiming a desire to be a bedroom submissive only? Would Hugh stay with her like he said, or would he someday grow restless, burning with the need to own her and tired of living his life unfulfilled?
He was right, though. She knew what her men wanted, but now it all boiled down to what she really wanted. Her choice and then the decision would be left in their hands.
Chapter Sixteen: Theirs
Kayla tiptoed out into the hall, sighing in relief when she didn't find anyone around. She crept down the stairs, heart lurching in surprise when she saw Master Hugh standing at the bottom of the staircase, watching her like Rhett Butler seeing Scarlett O'Hara for the first time.
Their attire was all wrong for the illusion, of course. Her Master wore Levi's, sneakers, a charcoal-gray blazer, and a periwinkle cotton shirt that buttoned up the front.
Kayla wore nothing save for the black training collar he’d given her.
She smiled when she saw the twinkle in his caring eyes. They were so expressive, offsetting his stern but sad face perfectly. He'd lived a hard life, but she could make him smile. The laugh lines were there, but they were faint. She'd noticed how the lines of joy bracketing his mouth had seemed to deepen the longer they were together.
“How did I know?” He gave her a small smile.
“I want to be your slave again, but I need something different from the rest of them.”
“Aren’t you forgetting something, slave?”
Her pussy moistened at the control he took. There was no way she would ever try to lead that man. He couldn't be tamed or controlled. He was a Master through and through. But she could cause the harsh realities of his past to fade by making him smile and laugh, by ensuring that he had more wrinkles from happiness than he did from scowling at the things that irritated him about people.
“Sorry, Master. It’s been a while.” She knelt on the stairs, wobbling from her crouched position. “I need different things from all of you. I’m not pretending for any of you. I’m a slave with you and a sub with them, except for Virgil. They’re just different aspects of my personality.”
“This is what you want?”
“Yes, Master.”
His lips curved into a bemused smile, accentuating the lines of joy she'd helped time carve around the corners of his mouth. “I don't recall teaching you to squat in front of me. What do you call that position, cinnamon?”
She bit her bottom lip and grinned. “I call it Squatting Frog, Master.”
He snickered before losing himself in a full-blown laugh. She smiled,
feeling her heart warm at the sound. His laugh was a rare gem indeed, but it was a prize worth obtaining.
The crow's feet that framed the edges of his eyes were emphasized by the measure of his genuine smile. The sight choked her up, knowing that he was hers and she was his. She adored being owned by an extraordinary human being she worshiped.
She felt a tiny stirring in her heart when she thought of Keith. Could she have this with him, too?
“That’s fine, Kayla.”
Master turned and let out a loud whistle. Jake looked over and then ignored his uncle and kept talking with someone.
Master Hugh tapped his short fingernails on the banister. “Ignore me will he? I think not. Hey, Jake! Which Ninja Turtle were you again? Was it Leonardo? Raphael? Which was it?”
Jake glared at him and excused himself, marching toward his uncle. “It was Donatello, and why the hell are you broadcasting private childhood information?”
Jake's pupils dilated when they fell on Kayla's naked body.
Master smiled wickedly and turned to her. “When they were little they used to make turtle shells out of cardboard and duct tape them to their backs. Then they'd tie different colored bandanas with holes in them for their eyes, so they could pretend they were the Ninja Turtles.”
Kayla giggled. “Aw, that's so cute. I wish I could have seen.”
Master winked at her. “I have pictures.”
“No! No pictures,” Jake protested.
“No pictures of what?” Virgil asked as he came into the entryway followed by Travis and Keith.
“Pictures of the boys playing Ninja Turtles with boxes for shells and colored bandanas for masks,” Master Hugh said.
A slow, fond smile spread across Keith's face. “Ah, that.”
Virgil laughed. “I had toy soldiers, but that's just me.”
Kayla felt her heart swell and her panties dampen when she looked at the faces of each of her men. Her sweethearts and studs. “Which ones were you guys?”
“I was Leonardo. Keith was Michelangelo,” Travis replied with a sheepish grin. “Jason Adkins used to come over, and he would be Raphael.”
“That's adorable. Who was Master Splinter?”
Jake scowled before a slow, vindictive smile took over his lips. He folded his arms and stared at his uncle. “Yeah, Uncle Daddy, tell her who Master Splinter was.”
That was the only time Kayla had ever seen her Master blush. Hugh cleared his throat. “Kayla has something she wants to tell us.”
“I kind of want to hear more about Master Splinter,” she teased.
Master gave her a stern, playful glare. “Kayla.”
“Sorry.” She turned to the other men. “I want to be Hugh's slave.”
They didn't seem surprised, but their expressions said they still assimilated the information with care and seriousness.
“I know you guys only want a sub, but I'm fine with that.” She glanced at her Master's face. “I really do just want to love and serve each of you in the way you need me to. I don't care if that's as a sub, a slave, or vanilla.” She smiled at Virgil before tossing a silent plea to Keith. “Or if you say you want one thing, but are a little torn over what you really want. Even if your views change, any of you, it doesn't matter because I just want to be with you. If you aren't dominant enough for me, I can just be more submissive.”
“Talking works, too, girl,” Travis said gently.
“Yes, so much talking,” she agreed. “You all mean something different to me because each of you was there at a critical time in my life, being exactly what I needed. Now it's my turn to give back. I want to be what you need. Yes, I want to be a slave, but I don't care if that's to one of you, two of you.” She refrained from staring at Keith's loaded gaze while she spoke. “Or all of you.”
“I'm not gonna bore you, am I?” Virgil's brow furrowed with concern.
She stepped toward him with a loving smile and took his hand in hers. “Heavens no, I don't care if you're vanilla, or strawberry, or whatever. I love you, and you turn me on. Sometimes I just need hot, sweet vanilla sex. If I just needed one thing, I wouldn't be with five men.”
Their faces didn't wrinkle with disgust like she expected. They simply listened to what she had to say.
“Virgil is my white knight, my vanilla church boy.”
Jake smirked. “Might I remind you who helped me double team that sweet pussy of yours?”
She blushed and squeezed Virgil's hand, smiling when he kissed hers like a gentleman.
“Travis is my teddy bear Dom.”
Jake burst into laughter.
Travis shot him a warning look. “Don't laugh. You're next.”
Jake wiped his eye. “Yeah, I know it. Lord help me. What nickname do I get?”
Kayla grinned and ran her fingers through Travis's long hair. “You were my first love. I love that you're a Dom, but you're tender and nurturing like a husband. You're kinky, but not insane like Master Hugh.”
The men laughed, and her Master smirked. “I have a cane, remember? It's calling loudly for your ass as we speak.”
Her anus clenched at the threat, but the cold tremor that ran through her body lit her veins on fire at being perfectly subject to him again. She turned back to Travis, feeling her heart stir with emotion when he kissed her fingertips. “You're kind of strawberry and white chocolate. Kinky and sweet, but in a softer, gentler way.”
She turned to Jake, who grinned. “You want to hold my hand, too?”
“Yes, Sir.” She took his hand when he stepped forward after Travis and Virgil moved. “You're my hot bad boy. The reason I get to look at the other women and say 'Fuck you. I tamed him.'”
They chuckled, but Jake's amusement faded to a loving smile when she caressed his jaw and lips.
“I always wanted to be the girl that won your heart. I'm still in awe that you gave it to me.” She sighed when he kissed the pad of her finger.
“It was always yours. Just took me a while to figure that out.”
“What flavor is he?” Virgil asked.
Travis got a lopsided grin on his face that stole her heart as he crossed his arms over his broad chest. “He's right. You've got to give Jake a flavor, too.”
She thought for a moment. “Okay, you're like milk chocolate. Still kind of sweet, but darker than Travis.”
“Did you just pull that out of your ass on the spot?” Jake teased.
She giggled. “No, no. I spent hours coming up with that.”
“Uh-huh. Sure you did.” He arched a brow at her before a lazy smile settled over his lips. “What is Keith? Get over here, clown.”
Keith rolled his eyes with a chuckle. “Will you quit calling everybody clowns? Shove off.”
Jake moved, and Keith took Kayla's hand.
“Christen me, sub.”
She smiled and drew in a shaky, uneven breath. “I always saw you as my guardian angel. You carried me through a lot of bad times and protected me, but you were always so tortured. I wanted to be your savior like you were mine.”
He blinked, seeming moved by her words. His eyes shimmered with emotion, though he fought to keep a poker face.
“You're like really dark chocolate. You're a little sweet, but there's bitterness to you. You think getting rid of your darkness will make you sweeter, somehow more desirable or worthy, but it's the bitterness that shaped you into what you are. Sugar is sweet, but it's in the darkness that your purity is tested.” Kayla caressed his cheek, forgetting anyone else was in the room.
Keith's eyes spoke the thousand words his mouth refused to say.
“Sometimes I really need something sweet to make me feel good and comfort me, but sometimes darker is healthier. Sometimes I just need someone to give it to me straight, or get dark and controlling with me. I may crave things I shouldn't, but you're good for me, and I'll always come back to you, always want you.” She drew near his face and nuzzled him, whispering in his ear. “Never hold back with me, even if you think the darkness will scare
me. I'm a tough little bird because you made me that way.”
He looked touched and defensive when she pulled back. “What is Uncle Hugh?”
She understood the walls Keith erected. People were around, but she wished she could get through to him, make him stop hating himself and realize how much she adored him. “Master Hugh is one hundred percent cocoa.”
The men laughed, and Hugh eyed her with faux criticism, the faint smile creasing the corners of his mouth and giving him away.
Keith wore a smile she knew was forced. His eyes still swam with depth in remembrance of her words.
“Pure cocoa doesn't have any sugar in it, just straight dark and bitter. I love it.”
Jake laughed. “You hear that, Uncle Daddy? That's her polite way of saying you're an ass.”
Master Hugh shook his head with a slightly wider smile. “Watch yourself. Go out into the public play area and make sure there's a free sawhorse bench. Make sure it's clean. When she's with you boys she'll wear your collar, and when she's with me she'll wear mine.”
Virgil shrugged. “Why not just get her one of them fancy permanent ones from all of you?”
“We will once her training is complete and her contract signed,” Hugh informed him.
Her ears perked with interest. “I'm going to sign a contract again?”
“I think it's best to signify our commitment to you and yours to us. The collar does that, too, but I want a contract signed and dated as well. It's no different from wearing a wedding ring or signing a marriage contract.”
“Oh. I didn't think of it that way.” When the others had gone out into the main area, she tugged on her Master's arm. “You're my Master, Hugh. You made me a woman and trained me. I know you're the most cynical of the bunch, but you're dark and pure—”
“Don't get all sappy on me before I cane you.” He rolled his eyes with a humored little smile. “I know you love me. I don't need a flavor or an analogy.”
Kayla grappled for his hand, so overwhelmed with feelings she thought she might burst. “But do you know how much I love you? How truly, madly, and deeply?”
His aged features softened as he ran his weathered fingers through her long, wavy cinnamon curls. “I think I do. It's almost as much as I love you.”