“For sure!” Pia quickly responded.
“Yeah, that’s what’s up,” Willow said to her.
Octavia was hearing all of the commotion, all of the talking, all of the playful jibber-jabber, but she was wasting time. She knew they were finishing their meal. She knew she needed to get to it.
Octavia hit the table and said, “I need to talk to y’all.”
“Okay, you don’t have to be so violent,” Willow uttered.
Octavia softened and said, “I didn’t mean to startle you all, but I know who put me on the list.”
“Urgh, right! And if Stephen put Pia on the list, please don’t tell me Shawn did the same thing to you,” Willow accused.
“No!” Olive shouted. “Shawn wouldn’t put her on the list. Besides, it wasn’t Shawn, ’cause I bet it was that other white girl who walks around the school that nobody talks to. She’s jealous of you, Octavia. That’s who did it!”
“Do we have another white girl at the school?” Sanaa joked as they all giggled a quick bit. “It might have been a teacher. You know some of them are haters too.”
“It could be a girl,” Pia said. “A girl started the list with another girl, so won’t nothing shock me no more.”
Octavia couldn’t take them getting so angry at the wrong folks. Finally she said, “I put myself on the list, okay!”
“What you mean, you put yourself on the list?” Willow asked boldly in an angry tone.
“I put myself on the list,” Octavia repeated.
Sanaa said, “Wait, hold up. You been acting like you were a victim, and this whole time it’s been like a joke, like a game? You been playing us?”
“No, no, no, it was nothing like that,” Octavia pleaded.
“Well, what was it like?” Olive said, completely upset. “We’ve been confiding in you, like you understood what we were going through, and you put yourself on the list? How could you do that to us?”
“Come on, y’all, we out,” Willow said.
“Please, let me explain! Please, let me talk!” Octavia cried out.
“Are you kidding? What else do you have to say?” Willow told her.
Octavia knew she couldn’t make them hear her out, and as Willow pointed out, what else was there to say? She did it for a lame reason, and all this time she’d never told them, and that was bad. Octavia made a plea to each of them individually. When they all vanished, basically saying they never wanted to see her again, she fell to the floor and wallowed, knowing that the girls she had come to care about the most, she had now hurt the deepest.
CHAPTER TEN
Oddest (Pia’s Middle)
“White girls. All this time she was lying to us. Would do anything to put herself in the good graces of the popular kids. Just makes me sick,” Willow said in an angry tone to Pia, Sanaa, and Olive as she drove them away from Octavia’s home, really pissed at her.
Olive joined in the bashing and said, “I just can’t believe I fell for her bull, tryna act like she was one of us all along when she was nowhere near one of us. And wait until Shawn finds out. He thinks she’s so sweet and innocent.”
“She’s anything but,” Sanaa added.
Pia wasn’t adding to the conversation. She was actually pretty salty that the three of them were so mad. Yeah, she was disappointed to learn that Octavia had duped them, but there had to be some reason. And to bring up the whole white girl thing pissed Pia off to no end. Did they talk about her race or color when she wasn’t around too? Were they truly swoop list sisters or not? The love didn’t seem to be unconditional, and that bothered Pia a lot. But what also bothered her was that her phone kept blowing up. She looked down and sighed, seeing Stephen text her yet again.
“When will you get the point?” she screamed.
“You want to tell Octavia off too? Let it out, girl,” Willow said.
Pia shouted, “No, but I wanna tell you off.”
“Excuse me?” Willow said, about to swerve all over the road, looking back at Pia.
Pia explained, “I’m just sayin’. You were pretty harsh on Octavia. We didn’t even give her a chance to explain.” All three of them looked at her like she had lost her mind and needed to be in an insane asylum, wrapped in a white coat that buckled in the back. “I’m not crazy. We’re supposed to be friends. Good friends, the best of friends. Where’s the grace? We can’t turn on each other.”
Olive said, “Yeah, we are supposed to have a real friendship based on truth.”
“Forget all of that politically correct stuff. Let’s cut to the chase. You mad because I said she pulled some white girl junk, huh?” Willow chimed in, grunting and on point.
“Well, I didn’t like what she did,” Pia said to Willow.
“It’s true. She did pull some ditzy white girl junk,” Willow insisted. “Ain’t nobody tryna feel sorry for her either. Octavia might be a minority at this school, but we’re the real minorities in life. Olive, with her multiracial behind, you with your Hispanic self, and me and Sanaa ... chocolate beauties. We all might look like a million bucks, but we’re double minorities, women of color. Octavia ain’t gonna have our same struggle, with her red-haired self.”
“I mean, why’s it always gotta be about color, though? We’re past all of that,” Pia defended.
“We ain’t past nothing,” Willow boldly responded before popping Sanaa in the passenger seat to get her to speak up.
Sanaa sat up and grabbed her arm. “Naw, Pia’s got a point, Willow. Speak for yourself.”
“’Cause, Willow, you ain’t speaking for me,” Olive said.
“Oh, I know you don’t think because you half white, you white?” Willow asked her.
Rolling her eyes in the rearview mirror so Willow could see her reaction, Olive declared, “No, I don’t.”
Willow scoffed, “Because I’m just sayin’.”
Olive said, “No, I clearly know I’m black. When you got a little chocolate mixed in the milk, light chocolate, dark chocolate, it ain’t pure milk no more. You ain’t gotta tell me. But, Shawn’s my brother, and he’s white as snow. Pia, it’s not about color for me. It’s the fact that Octavia lied.”
“I agree with her,” Sanaa said. “Her color ain’t got nothing to do with it. I’d be equally upset if I found out one of you guys did the same thing. I just don’t know why she’d do that, and I don’t have time to sit there and tell her how to treat the people she’s supposed to care about.”
Pia added, “But isn’t that just funny, because you didn’t tell everything to the one person who was supposed to be your best friend. You claim you had a good reason, and even still to this day you want Toni to forgive you.”
“Ooh, she got you on that!” Willow laughed. “But forget what y’all say. I’m still mad at that white heffa.”
Pia shook her head and sighed. Pia had shut Sanaa up. Now she knew she needed to work on the other two.
Pia looked beside her and said, “And Olive, you were down when Charles was mad because you went to the judge behind his back. You thought if he’d just listen to you, he’d give you a chance to show how much you care and forgive you. And ultimately, when he opened up his mind, he did. How can you not give Octavia the same chance? And Willow—”
“What?” Willow screamed.
Pia got loud back and said, “So many people sent a petition around to kick you out of school. You were mad at us because we didn’t tell you about it. But we didn’t wanna hurt your feelings. Once you found out why we didn’t tell you, you forgave us and realized that we had your back all the time. And remember how you misled your parents and made them think your brother was the one who had the car accident, all because you wanted to protect him?”
“So what you sayin’, the redhead wanted to protect us, so she didn’t tell us she put herself on the list? Okay, and I got a 5.0 GPA,” Willow teased.
Calmer, Pia said, “I don’t know what her rationale was. I left with you guys and didn’t hear her out. All I’m saying is, we’ve all had situation
s where we needed people to listen to our side. People at the school hate me right now because three guys got carted off in handcuffs, but they raped me, okay? And if people would hear my story and understand what I went through, they’d get off my back. But because they’re assuming, they’re all over my tail. It’s wrong for people to not get all the facts before they outcast somebody. I just thought our friendship was deeper than that, that’s all I’m saying. The fact is that all of us haven’t been in Octavia’s shoes. No, we didn’t put ourselves on the list, but we’ve been in situations where we had to respond in ways other people didn’t approve of to survive or to get our point across. I just think all of a sudden we’re all high and mighty and think we’re better than her. And that is really not a friendship I want to be a part of. To think we’re better than her and can’t hear her out is just the oddest.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Purest (Sanaa’s Ending)
Ms. Davis was holding the last swoop list counseling session of the year for the girls. Reluctantly, Sanaa attended. There was no love between all of them right now. They didn’t all hate each other, but Sanaa just felt their lovey-dovey bond had always been too good to be true anyway. They’d all be graduating soon and going in their own directions to start their lives, so why try to fix things now? To Sanaa, this plan seemed like the best way not to get her feelings hurt. So she let everyone else do some of the talking in the session with Ms. Davis.
“Do you all know where Octavia is?” Ms. Davis asked.
“We’re not her keeper,” Willow uttered under her breath.
“So everything I said went in one ear and out the other?” Pia questioned. “You need to listen.”
“I know you ain’t tryna tell me what to do,” Willow said.
Pia snapped back, “Somebody needs to tell you because your big head only thinks you’re right.”
“Okay, girls, settle down,” Ms. Davis said. “What has gotten into you ladies? You were inseparable at the prom. Now you’re at each other’s throats.”
“What does it matter anyway? We’re all about to graduate! Who cares if we’re not friends anymore?” Sanaa finally yelled out, letting them know how she truly felt.
“There it is. Our little friendship was fake all along,” Willow said. “I knew it. Nobody really cares for anybody else anymore.”
“I care,” Olive said.
“And I care too,” Pia uttered.
“And you know you care too,” Ms. Davis said to Willow. “Sanaa, so do you. I don’t need to know all the details of the rift going on between you guys, but I will say forgiveness is in order when it comes to having friendships. Being in any relationship, you got to have forgiveness. If you don’t let things go, and you think you can survive on your own, you’ll do things and say things that you don’t mean and that you can’t take back. You need to have a support group around you. You need to treat others the way you’d like to be treated. Sanaa, you’re right. You guys will be going in different directions, but now is the training ground. You begin to learn life lessons in high school. You must decide which road you want to set yourself up for. The road that will be one of happiness, caring, forgiveness, and love, or one that is bitter, dark, and depressing.”
“Why do you care and give so much to us?” Sanaa asked Ms. Davis.
Olive added, “Yeah, it’s deeper than your job. I know it. I feel it.”
“So just accept it,” Ms. Davis said. “And don’t make me feel like my time was in vain. I’m sure Octavia is hurting, as are you guys. If you harbor bitterness, you can’t be a true leader; you can’t be really happy when you have hate within your heart. Now go on to class, unless you need to talk to me one on one.”
Sanaa was the first to get up. She knew there was a lot she wanted to get right with life. She did want to choose the path that led to happiness, but how could she fix everything that was wrong? Out in the hallway, Sanaa saw Toni walking her way, but what could she say to a girl she’d betrayed? A girl she tried to fix things with. A girl she knew hated her so much that she messed up her car. Sanaa thought their relationship was absolutely irreconcilable. But Toni was smiling.
“Urgh, I can’t believe this girl,” Sanaa said to herself in a low voice. “She’s walking the halls with a big old smile on her face. She wants to rub it in that she tore up my property and I let her get away with it. Oh my gosh, she’s boasting.”
“Can I talk to you for a second?” Toni surprised Sanaa by saying as they passed each other.
“I guess,” Sanaa responded, even though she was very skeptical.
“I wanted to give you this twenty dollars.” Toni handed the cash over to Sanaa.
“For what?”
“I had no right damaging your property. And I don’t know how to ask you to forgive me without me paying for it.”
“You are paying for the damage?”
Toni nodded. “Yeah, that should cover the cost of getting your car washed. But let me know if it costs more. I was stupid. I was angry.”
“No, you were justified. You sent me to talk to Miles a long time ago, and I never told you I liked him too.”
“I knew he liked you, and I knew you liked him too. Yet I sent you to do the impossible. I didn’t know you’d keep it from me, so when I found out, I was angry. Now I need your forgiveness for putting you on the swoop list.”
Sanaa raised her eyebrows. “So you did turn my name in?”
“I’m sure you figured it out already.”
“I had a big hunch, but for a while I thought Miles did it.”
“No, he’s always cared for you and only you. I tried to get with him many times. I probably liked him because I knew you did. I don’t know. I’ve been jealous of you for so long.”
“I been jealous of you too,” Sanaa admitted. “You can eat anything and not gain a pound.”
“What kind of friendship did we really have?” Toni asked.
“Not a very good one.”
“But I did love you,” Toni sincerely shared. “I wanted to be like you, even though it was warped and messed up how I acted it all out. There’s a lot of admiration I still feel in my heart for you, Sanaa.”
“Ditto, girl. But you know it’s gonna be hard to repair our friendship.”
“I’ve missed being your friend, though. And, I knew I needed to be honest with you if I ever wanted a chance to be your friend again. We’re about to go to college. So I’m not sure we’ll able to restart our friendship, but—” Toni dropped her head in dejection.
Sanaa lifted her chin and said, “Yes, we can always start again.”
“You got your swoop list girls now. You don’t need me.”
“What you’re saying isn’t true. Like I said, keeping it real, rebuilding the trust won’t be easy for either of us, but I want us to try.”
They hugged really tight. In the embrace, Sanaa felt the love and genuineness they shared. They agreed to talk more later on. When Sanaa walked on to class, she felt so excited that she and Toni had a big breakthrough with a conversation that was the purest.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Sweetest (Willow’s Ending)
Willow had heard all the forgiveness talk, and she was fine that it wasn’t sinking into her heart. In her mind, sometimes people needed to be cut off. If you’re too nice, then people walk all over you, she thought. The dance team was having tryouts for the next year, and Willow was going to make it a point to be there and confront Hillary. What Willow hadn’t faced was the fact that if Hillary had started the list, then Hillary was probably the one who put her name on it. Willow didn’t have to psych herself up for what she was going to say.
Willow was ready to rip a new one into Hillary, but she wasn’t prepared to see her nemesis balled up in a corner, crying. As mad as Willow was at Hillary, seeing her in a somber state made Willow have compassion.
“What’s wrong?” Willow uttered, not wanting to be too nice.
Hillary looked up and said, “Oh, just my luck you’d see me at the momen
t I found out my world was over.”
“What do you mean, Hillary? Your world is over? You are always on top of the world.”
“Joke’s on me this time, Willow. As much as I’ve done to try and pull you down, looks like I should have been paying attention to my own life.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m not going to graduate, okay!” Hillary huffed.
“Huh?” Willow was dumbfounded. She knew Hillary wasn’t a brain, but to not graduate? “Really? Is this a joke?”
“You’re looking at me like I don’t know the letter I just got,” Hillary replied in an upset tone. “My mom’s already planned a big celebration. We’ve got family and friends coming to see me walk, and I’m not going to march, alright? That’s what I get, though. Starting the swoop list, it all comes back on me. What am I gonna do? How am I gonna face everybody? I wanted you to have nothing. Now I’m the one who’s going to be looking stupid.”
Willow couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Hillary was remorseful. But there was one question Willow wanted answered.
Willow asked, “Why did you hate me so much?”
“When it came to you, I was always on the wrong side of everything. Eleventh-grade attendant on the homecoming court, you got it. Lead dancer, you got it. And Dawson, you got it,” Hillary explained.
“But when the list came out, he and I weren’t even together,” Willow uttered as she scratched her head.
Hillary shook her head and grunted. “You don’t even remember. Back in the fall, I was trying to talk to him, and you laughed in my face and sashayed off with him. I thought if he knew you were a tramp, he’d want me.”
“Funny, Dawson always knew I needed to cool down, but he liked me anyway,” Willow said, having her own revelation.
Sit on Top Page 4