Fearless

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Fearless Page 21

by Maren Smith


  Side-stepping him, Noah brushed past Jaxson’s outstretched arm too, skirting right past Hadlee, who jumped up to block him.

  “Wait,” she said, but over the last twenty-four hours Noah had pinballed his way from confused abandonment to concern, through all five bloody stages of fucking grief, and right now, he was well and beyond the ability to wait.

  Watching him come, Kitty didn’t back away. She stepped out instead, away from the table, away from Hadlee who moved to shield her. At the very last moment, right as Noah reached her, she lifted her chin. He didn’t even know he was reaching for her until he saw his own hand clasp her throat and all hell erupted.

  Hadlee screamed. People at the tables nearest to them jumped from their seats, scattered backwards. Garreth shouted his name and both he and Jaxson grabbed his arms, but from Kitty there never was a sound. Not from the moment he seized her, first by the throat and then by her ponytail. Yanking her from the wall, he took her all the way to the floor.

  It was the gentlest takedown he’d ever performed and he wasn’t even angry when he did it. From the moment he touched her, that maelstrom of temper that had propelled him vanished. He more guided than threw her down, but down she went and his grip on her ponytail kept her pinned there, with one knee drawn up and her weight balanced more on her hip than her belly. Her forehead touched the floor so close to his foot that all she had to do was turn her head to press the softest kiss to the side of his shoe.

  “Don’t,” he warned, only half laughing, but it didn’t stop her from whispering to him, that trembling plea that needled straight through every common-sense reason he could think of not to listen and stabbed into the dominant heart of him.

  “Please…”

  ‘Be careful what you ask for’ didn’t even begin to cover his gut-reaction to that single, whispered word. Please, just like they were back at home and she was asking for his dominance. Were he not being restrained, he might have given it. His grip on her hair tightened. So did his grip on her throat. He caressed his thumb along the curve of her throat until he found the heady rhythm of her pulse. Heightened, but not frightened.

  Not like Hadlee, whose frantic attempts to duck past Garreth were only growing more panicked. “Please, what are you doing? You have to stop! Don’t you know what she’s been through?”

  Jaxson and Garreth were different. Experienced doms both, they crowded to either side of him, their grips on his arm tense and ready to intervene if he gave them a reason, but Noah wasn’t anywhere close to losing control.

  As soon as Hadlee came close enough, Garreth tried to catch her, but she dodged him.

  “Stop,” Garreth told her, but her eyes were huge and she wasn’t listening. She couldn’t see what Noah could feel—Kitty beneath his hands, as soft and submissive as a woman could be. She was purring, of all things. God, he loved this woman. She had no idea the trouble she was in, or maybe she did and just didn’t care. Either way, she’d closed her eyes, trusting him completely. If he let go of her neck, he had no doubt she’d have crawled up onto all kitten fours and rubbed herself against him.

  Letting go of her hair, Noah slapped her ass sharply twice, bringing her back to the here and now. The kitten could come out later, once he got her home again, and head down, ass up, with her tail inserted and flipped up onto her back. He could already see her little hands kneading the pillow as she bit it, smothering her cries as he set a punishing rhythm—yeah, sure it would be punishing. His cock stirred, sending low pulses of arousal throbbing all the way through him.

  “You have to stop him,” Hadlee begged, tears spilling down her cheeks.

  “No,” Garreth said over his shoulder. “You have to stop. Sit down.”

  “B-but…”

  “Sit. Down.” His tone would brook no argument.

  Neither did Noah’s, although his command was not for Hadlee. He lowered himself over Kitty. He didn’t care if they were in the bar, on the floor, surrounded by gawkers with every alert club DM hovering on the periphery while they waited to see what Jaxson would do. Jaxson, who only adjusted his grip on Noah’s arm, watching carefully as Noah dragged Kitty up by her hair until the shell of her ear brushed his lips. “I have never in my life gone halfway around the world for anyone. You pissed me off. You scared the hell out of me. You,” Noah said, with no small significance, “went to Ethen for help when you should have come to me. Why didn’t you come to me, Kitty?”

  She opened her eyes, no longer purring but still not scared. “I was tired of being a burden.”

  Hot sparks of temper came very close to rekindling. After everything he’d just been through, she had the nerve to say that to him? He flexed his fingers on her throat, opened his mouth, and then closed it again without a word before turning to the club owner, still gripping his arm.

  “I need a private room,” he growled.

  “Not a chance,” Jaxson replied.

  Oh, for… Noah ground his teeth, but he managed to refrain from saying something that might get him thrown out or arrested, and once he was sure he could be civil, tried again. “How about my arm, mate? Can I have that?”

  Glancing at Kitty on the floor, the club owner released Noah’s arm and stepped back.

  Noah turned his smile on Garreth next. “Blokey?”

  “No, you can’t!” Hadlee wailed.

  Letting go of Noah’s arm, Garreth grabbed his submissive and pushed her back until the crowd in the bar swallowed them both. The last Noah heard from either of them was Garreth’s low voice demanding, “Do you trust me?”

  “I don’t trust him!”

  “He’s not going to hurt her.”

  “He’s hurting her now!”

  “No, he’s not. He’s handling this. Let him handle it.”

  Let him handle it. No more powerful words existed in a dominant’s repertoire. He was going to handle it, all right. Letting go of Kitty’s hair and neck, he seized her by the waist instead. He yanked her up even as he dropped to his knee, pinning her hips in tight against his side, and then he paddled the hell out of her. He spared neither his hand nor her backside. A dom who never spanked for punishment, he didn’t bother with a warmup. He simply spanked her, with all the strength of his arm and in a way she was sure to feel right through the seat of her jeans.

  Because, of all the things he thought of when he thought of her, ‘burden’ didn’t make the list. It wasn’t a burden he was chasing in his truck, first to Cooktown and then all the way to Cairns International. It wasn’t a burden he couldn’t wait to take home with him again, and hold all night long, if only she would let him. And that was the problem with spanking, frankly, because no matter how hard or fast his hand clapped over every bucking, squirming inch of her ass, no matter how fast he took her from squeaks and gasps to desperately muffled cries of growing distress, no matter how fast even that he broke through Ethen’s ‘hold still’ training to the point she actually snapped a hand back, palm up in defense of a bottom that had to be smarting at least as much as his hand—no matter how much he spanked her, it didn’t get any of the important things said.

  Like:

  “You’re not a bloody burden, damn it,” he said through his teeth, grabbing her wayward arm and pinning it in the iron grip of his other hand. While he was paused anyway, he fumbled under her stomach until he got the fastenings of her pants open. Two quick yanks bared her bright pink bottom completely, and thank God for it, because her jeans were killing his hand.

  Kitty sucked a yelping breath when he started up again, the sound crisper now, the steady assault of his hand flattened the summits of each cheek, deepening the flush to a hot cherry red as the conversation continued with: “You are free to leave at any time, but you have the decency and respect for me to tell me so!”

  “Please! I’m sorry!” she broke down wailing.

  “You went to Ethen?” Noah paused to shake out his smarting hand. “You’d best hang on for this one, love, because this right here is going to be the beauty of the lot. You wil
l never—”

  Someone tapped his shoulder and Noah glanced up to find Jaxson offering him a small wooden paddle, the size and shape of a hairbrush, with a long handle contoured to better fit the palm.

  “From the dom in the side booth,” Jaxson said. “On the off chance you’d like to borrow it.”

  “Oh.” Taking the paddle, Noah followed the club owner’s nod to a shadow figure, who offered a commiserating wave from across the bar. “Tell him thanks, mate.”

  Hugging her hips, Noah let Kitty have it. He ignored her kicks, cries, and escalating shrieks, he ignored everything except the use of the safeword she never once gave him and the condition of her bottom, which he took as close to overripe strawberry as he dared. It was only when she went limp and he decided she couldn’t bear anymore, that he finally stopped. Dropping the hairbrush, he dragged her up until she had no choice but to look at him. She was a mess—her dark hair in the tangled process of escaping its hair tie, her face wet and almost as red as her bottom. No one had ever looked half as beautiful as his naughty kitten, staring up at him through a sheen of tears and remorse, with her pants around her knees and her sore bottom hugged in rueful hands.

  “Well,” he said softly. “Do you feel loved, sweetheart?”

  Her shoulders jerked and her face crumpled all over again. Kitty launched herself at him, hugging his neck and burrowing into his answering embrace. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

  He’d crossed a lot of ‘nevers’ off his list since he’d met Kitty. Sitting down in the middle of a bar to cuddle a sobbing woman on his lap was one of the most natural ones. He rocked her, caressing her hair and kissing her forehead until the storm had passed.

  “Did you think I cared?” he whispered once she was reduced to ragged sniffles and hiccups. Sliding his hand from her hip to her belly, he let his palm rest upon her baby bump. “Or worse, Kitty love, did you think I wouldn’t care?”

  She lay against him, weary and hoarse from crying, both shaking her head and shrugging. “I was just really tired of making messes for everyone else to clean up.”

  He caressed both her and the baby both. “This isn’t a mess to me. It’s not a burden. Had I considered it one, I never would have asked you to stay with me.”

  “You didn’t know about the baby when I first came.”

  “I’m not talking about when you first came. I’m talking about when I told you I wanted you.”

  She started to pull away, but he switched his grip from her stomach to her chin. Eye-to-eye and nose-to-nose, he didn’t let her escape so much as an inch.

  “I’m not rich,” he said, giving her chin a gentle shake. “I don’t need much to make me happy—my home, my land, two good hands to make a living with, and someone worth coming home to. I’ve lived on my own for a very long time, but I had no idea how quiet the house was until I came home to find it empty. I want you with me, Kitty, but I don’t want to force you if that’s not what you want too.”

  When he let go of her chin, she burrowed back into his chest, hiding her face from him again. As if he couldn’t read her body every bit as clearly as her eyes. Her hands on the side of his neck were petting, caressing, unable to hold still in near desperate need to keep touching him.

  “I didn’t want to leave,” she finally confessed. “But I couldn’t see how to stay. And then, once I was here, all I wanted was to go back.” She sniffled, her body tensing all over again. “Aren’t you afraid?”

  “Of what?”

  “That it’ll be hard? That it won’t work?” She swiped a new-falling tear from her cheek. “That you’ll be cleaning up my messes for the rest of your life?”

  Craning his neck, he silenced her fears with a tender kiss upon her forehead. “Only thing that scares me, love, is the thought of going home alone. Compared to that, I’m damned near fearless.”

  “I’m not,” she whispered. “Most of the time, I’m afraid of everything.”

  “That’s okay,” Noah said softly into her hair. “You won’t always be.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “Sure I do. I heard what you did to Ethen. We’ll be renaming you Muhammad Ali when we get home.” Noah buried a smile in her hair when he both heard and felt her laugh. It was watery, but she wasn’t crying anymore and that was a good start. “You’ve got a lot of courage inside of you. But don’t you worry, those days when you don’t feel it quite so keen, I can be fearless enough for the both of us.”

  Pulling back from his shoulder, Kitty raised her eyes to his. When she smiled, he kissed her.

  Epilogue

  Kitty stood at the door leading back through the tunnel to the psychic shop. She had her luggage strap slung over her shoulder, her cellphone in her pocket, and Hadlee clinging to her right hand with both of her own. Together, they waited for their men who were still in the locker room, talking to Jaxson and Chase. Poor Hadlee looked shell-shocked. She stared at the door, her eyes huge and slightly watery. Her chin was up though, and if those were tears Kitty suspected were trying to form along her lashes, she blinked constantly, refusing to let them fall.

  “Are you all right?” Kitty asked, giving her hands a squeeze.

  “My bottom hurts,” Hadlee replied.

  No mystery there. Because of her constant attempts to interfere, Garreth had taken her into one of the semi-private spaces to ‘talk.’ The curtains had done a great job blocking out all sight of the scene that followed, but it hadn’t done much for the sound.

  For the first time, Hadlee looked up at her. “Are you all right?”

  Kitty almost laughed. Half nodding, half shrugging instead, she said, “My bottom hurts.”

  The women exchanged bemused glances, then chuckles.

  “Yeah, okay,” Hadlee admitted first. “I deserved it.”

  “So did I.”

  “Frankly, I won’t be at all surprised if that wasn’t just a taste of what I’ve got coming when we get home.”

  Noah didn’t spank when it was real, but Kitty would not be surprised if there weren’t some other form of punishment waiting for her in Australia. She didn’t know what form that would take and yet, though she waited for them to come washing over her, those old familiar, dread-filled waves, they never did. Instead, what she felt was a kind of eager giddiness to get moving. Home. For all she’d thought that’s what she had been doing from the start, the revelation that ‘home’ was wherever Noah was still struck as a bit of a surprise.

  That watery sheen in Hadlee’s eyes grew. “Are you happy?” she finally asked.

  “Are you?” Kitty just as softly countered. She held her friend’s searching gaze until the first tears at last slipped free and, with a hiccupy gasp, Hadlee flung her arms around Kitty’s shoulders. The two women embraced.

  “There’s always Skype,” she declared, and then it didn’t feel so much like goodbye.

  Kitty didn’t answer. She didn’t know how.

  The ferocity of the hug diminished and they stepped back, both still uncertain what more to say when the locker room door swung open and Noah and Garreth came through. Noah was in the lead, his long-legged stride quick, his blue eyes bright. “What a bloke! A good mate to have, I tell you.”

  “How much did Jaxson give you?”

  “The full refund,” Noah exclaimed. “Everything Ethen paid for Kitty’s membership, from the point of the ban to the end of the year.” Grinning as he passed them, he paused long enough to cup Kitty’s cheek. “We can pay our airfare. Come on, love.” Passing his grin to Hadlee, he ruffled her hair and then took off again, his voice echoing back through the passage as he headed up and out. “We’ve got less than an hour, I reckon, before any plane I’m on won’t be getting off the ground.”

  Startled, Kitty’s eyes widened. Hadlee and Garreth exchanged the same look of alarm, and all three quickly hurried to follow him.

  “What the hell did you do?” Garreth accused.

  “I hit him,” Noah answered to the accompanying bang of both hands popping open the do
or at the opposite end of the tunnel. He cast them back a wink and out he went.

  The look Hadlee and Garreth exchanged was even more alarmed.

  “He hit Ethen?” Hadlee gasped. “My God, is he crazy?”

  Garreth rushed to catch up. “You did what?” Kitty heard him demand as he too disappeared through the far door.

  “He is,” Hadlee said, answering her own question. “He’s crazy. He was smiling about it!” Her wide eyes snapped up to Kitty’s. “Oh my God, you’re smiling too and you know what Ethen can do!”

  And that was a funny thing, too. She knew exactly what Ethen was capable of and yes, she was smiling. Inside, she was flying. She’d never been so happy or so free. Noah had hit Ethen, because he wasn’t afraid. Not of the man or of the consequences that surely would follow. For some reason, instead of scared all Kitty was… was proud.

  She stood marveling, both at him and herself, until the door popped open again and Noah stuck his head back through far enough to beckon her. “Cabby’s waiting. Put a hoof on it, yeah?”

  “How can he be so cheerful about it?” Hadlee whispered, all but appalled. But only because she didn’t know him, not like Kitty did. The cheer was part of his charm.

  So was the wink when she went to him and he said, “Just wait until I get you home, love. You’ve never been in more trouble in your life.”

  And still she couldn’t stop smiling, nor did she hesitate before taking the hand he offered her. Because this was Noah and perhaps she had never been in more trouble, but she’d also never been more safe.

  And she loved him for it.

  She loved him.

  It was fifteen thousand miles to Australia and home. Who knew, maybe somewhere along the way she’d find the courage to curl into his side, rest her head upon his shoulder… and tell him so.

  The End

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