Ben sits in a leather chair with his feet on an ottoman, his Latin textbook in his hands. Studying on a Saturday? He’s more of a nerd than I am. As if that’s possible. Since neither boy acknowledges me when I walk in, I awkwardly sit on the couch behind Matt.
After a while of staring at the repetitive motion of the screen in front of me and tuning out most of what Matt says, I find my eyelids getting heavy. Just when I think I can’t take another minute of this boredom, a key jingles in the front door. I sit up straighter, and Ben sets his book to the side. Mr. Benson walks through the front door, in a navy blue striped suit and trench coat covered with water droplets across the shoulders. The top button of his shirt collar is undone, and he looks worn.
Matt sets aside his head phones and leaves his gaming console. “Hey Dad.”
Mr. Benson sets his tired gaze on each of us in turn. He blinks at me and then turns back to his son. “I’m really sorry about everything that’s happened today, but I really need to ask you a few questions about Donnie.”
I swallow hard.
Matt shrugs, his eyes wide. “Okay.”
Mr. Benson eyes Ben and me again. “Alone.”
Ben hops up from his chair and offers me a hand. “Let me show you something.”
I nod and take his hand. When my fingers touch his palm, vibrations trickle up and down my skin. And I thought his voice made me into a tuning fork. My face flushes. I stand, but he doesn’t release his grip. He pulls me gently toward the door Mr. Benson just entered through. Breathlessly, I greet Mr. Benson as I pass. “Thank you for allowing me to come over.”
But Ben barely hesitates, he leads me to the stairwell, and I find us going up. A smile spreads across my face, because I know we’re going to the roof.
“DO YOU EVER DREAM OF flying?” I ask.
We stand near the thigh-high edge of the roof of the four-story brownstone and watch the sky turning blue in the west. Fluffy white clouds are over us, and the dark ones that plagued us a moment before are dipping low in the east. The sun peeks out, and a full rainbow spreads from one side of the sky to the other against the steel grey backdrop.
“Sometimes,” Ben says, opening the door to the ten-by-ten-foot cage that houses his owl.
Steve burst through his confines and spirals up toward the sky. I envy his freedom. “He spends most of his time free, doesn’t he?”
Ben nods.
I bite down on my next question. He doesn’t really make me nervous, like boys I have crushes on do. With him, things are different somehow, and I don’t want to chase him away with my incessant questions, but at the same time, I want to hear his voice. But he just won’t oblige me with answers longer than one word today.
I frown, but another question bubbles up. “Do you think Donnie had a possession ghost?”
Ben’s gaze drops from Steve to me. He shakes his head. “I don’t know. It could be, but I won’t be able to tell for certain until I can get into the Old Schoolhouse kitchen and see what’s there.”
“Tuesday.”
He nods, and studies me for a moment, and then he asks, “Will you come with me?”
My heart sinks. No way. I don’t want to go back there. Without much thought, I shake my head.
Ben takes a step toward me, his false brown eyes studying mine. “I know you’re scared, but I need to see what happened. It would be a huge help if you came with me…and I could keep up with my bodyguard duties.”
“Do you ever take out your contacts?” I switch gears, hoping to throw him off.
He winces and then studies me again. With a nod, he turns around and bends over a bit, pulling the lens from each eye. When his eyes meet mine again, I’m struck by the brilliant colors, more impressive than the rainbow behind him. He continues to study me. “No. I don’t ever take my contacts out.”
It’s my turn to wince. “Why not?”
He looks away like he can’t stand to have me see him anymore. “My eyes are what caused me to lose my mother. They make me into a side-show freak that everyone takes notice of. Everyone either fears me or uses me for what I can do. I hate to even look at myself in the mirror when I don’t have contacts in.”
The note that resonates through my body at the sound of his sadness breaks my heart. “Then why did you show me?”
He gives me a sideways glance. “You’re different…guileless.”
I cross my arms over my chest and glower at him. “Thanks for noticing.”
“No,” he says with a laugh. “I mean that everyone has a shadow around them, some are stronger than others. Everyone tries to be something they’re not. But you…you’re different. You don’t hide your emotions…at least not well. You don’t pretend. You are what you seem to be.”
I shiver at his words. “I’m no different than anyone else. I have problems and I hide them.”
He smirks, the swirl in his eyes never ending. “Like I said, you try. But anyone who can read body language would see you as an open book. Animals are the best at reading emotional signatures. Even Steve knows that about you.”
Suddenly, his studying eyes make me feel naked. I turn away from him and watch Steve ride up and down on the wind without moving his wings. He stays steady in one spot.
“Everyone judges me,” Ben says. “When they see what I am they make a decision. Will they be scared? Will they try to use me to their advantage? When I saw how guileless you were, I had to know what you would think…how you would judge me.”
I gulp. I had said it was pretty. That was my gut reaction at the time. What a child I am. I shake my head.
“You didn’t change at all. Your feelings for me before seeing and after seeing were the same. That’s something that’s never happened to me before,” he whispers. His voice cracks.
My gaze darts toward him. He stands beside me, watching Steve rise and fall, his arms across his chest, in a position similar to mine. Then he turns his face, and his gaze meets mine again.
“What else do you see?” I blurt.
He quirks a smile. “You’ve changed.”
I blink hard. “What do you mean?”
“Your feelings for me have changed.”
“Changed how?”
“You care now. I’ve made it to the small circle of people that you care about, and that’s a very privileged place to be.”
My throat constricts, and even though I try to speak, I can barely breathe.
He smiles at me gently. “And you’ve broken into mine.”
Did he just say what I think he said?
The door to the stairwell swings open with a loud screech and bangs when Matt rushes out onto the roof. I stare at him in shock, but when my gaze returns to Ben, he’s already replaced his lenses and stands stiffly. His usual stoic mask has been replaced.
“I knew I’d find you guys up here.” Matt smiles in triumph, even though it doesn’t reach his eyes.
My breath finally returns. “Why were you looking for us?”
Matt shrugs and says, “Well, your clothes are dry.”
The wind picks up again and swirls around my hair, sending the dry strands into my face, while the wet ones chill the back of my neck. I pull the hair from my lips. “Thanks, Matt.”
We start back downstairs together, Matt in the lead and Ben in the rear. When we reach the third floor, and start for the door of their apartment, Matt turns and says, “This was actually really fun. We should hang out more often.”
I furrow my brows. “Why would a senior want to hang out with a couple of juniors?”
He shrugs and sidles up closer to me. “Well, I really meant only you.”
Behind me, Ben growls. Literally. Both Matt and I shoot a look back at him, but his expression is just the usual hard, but bored look he seems to have cultivated. He’s not even looking at either of us, but cuts between us and opens the door.
Matt and I stand in the hallway for a second, both of us still in shock at the sound we’d heard. Finally, I say, “I’m not interested in switching team
s. But thanks for the offer.” And then I duck inside the apartment.
SUNDAY I SPEND THE WHOLE day with my mom, like I always do. The Browns text me a few times to let me know that they’ve taken Tasha off the medication, but she hasn’t woken yet. Mom and I clean the house from top to bottom while Rob spends the morning fishing with his buddies and then the afternoon playing cards. By the time he gets home at nine p.m., I’m totally shut up in my room as always, and watching Netflix until midnight.
On Monday morning I drag myself out of bed and getting on with my usual routine. I rush into the kitchen and nearly fall over myself when I see Ben sitting in the chair at the table with my mom. My heart leaps.
“Hey,” I say awkwardly.
Ben has my dad’s Hawaiian print coffee mug in his hands. It’s the one I drink from. His false brown eyes meet mine, and a smile tucks the corner of his mouth as he says, “Hey.”
A wide grin spreads across Mom’s face. “When I found Ben lurking in the hallway as Rob was leaving, I invited him in.”
“Awesome.” I croak out the word. That was at least ten minutes ago. I take a deep breath and try to play it cool. “So, Ben, have you eaten breakfast yet.”
His facial expression is so soft that it’s throwing me off guard. Usually he’s so stiff and formal…except when we’re on a roof somewhere. “Thanks, your mother offered me breakfast, but I’ve already eaten.”
I nod and head for the cabinet over the toaster. My heart is beating so fast still that I’m having a hard time recovering from this shock. I grab a bowl and the cinnamon toast cereal. Heat prickles up my neck.
“So Ben tells me that your class schedules are similar.”
“Hmmm,” I say, trying to stay noncommittal. The cereal plays a quick tinkling tune against the bottom of my bowl. My heart rate slows to a manageable level while I pour the milk.
“He says that he’s not having the easiest time in geometry. Maybe you could help him with that.”
I take a mouthful of cereal, turn around, and shrug. With my mouth still full, I say, “Maybe.”
My mother stares at me with her eyes half lidded. I look away from her and shovel another bite in my mouth. This whole thing is just too awkward for me. Ben and I hadn’t really talked since Saturday on the roof. Even when he walked me home, he seemed to be brooding more than usual, so I left him alone. I shovel down the rest of my cereal as quickly as I can while leaning against the counter. I just can’t bring myself to sit down with the two of them.
Mom stands and empties the remnants of her coffee mug into the sink while stifling a yawn. She pulls me into a one-armed hug and kisses my temple. “Well, have a good day at school, honey.”
I set my bowl in the sink with her mug. “I will.”
Ben is on his feet and gets the front door just before I reach the knob myself. At first I thought his door opening thing was quaint. Today, I find it a tad annoying. I race down the stairs and reach the front door first. Then to spread a little icing, I hold the door for him with a smile and a little bow of my head.
He frowns but walks through.
Moisture clings to everything outside, and it’s unseasonably warm. I hop down the stoop steps after Ben, and he stops to wait for me. I eye him. “Do you really need help with geometry?”
He shakes his head. “I was just making polite conversation.”
I nod. “Thought so.”
We walk together to Jackson Hall, with him beside me except when a narrow gap is the only way through the mill of people at the bus stop. When we reach the lawn in front of the school, Ben says, “If you want to go out with him, you should.”
I blink and turn to him. “What? Who?”
Ben’s eyes are intense on mine, and his jaw pulses where he’s tightened it. “Matt.”
“Why would I want to go out with Matt?” I ask, knotting my eyebrows.
“Well, he asked…and he’s a senior and apparently popular…”
I shake my head. “You’re the one who sees…everything, right? I’d think you could tell that I’m not interested in him that way.”
He shrugs, but his expression has softened. “I just….”
My heart flutters, but instead of making me weak in the knees, this makes me a little angry. What is wrong with this boy? I shoulder my messenger bag and start up the stairs to the building. “Oh…kay.”
He skips to catch up with me in the hallway. “It’s none of my business.”
“Right.” I dash up the steps to the second floor.
He stops on the landing.
Without missing a beat, I leave him behind. I peer down at him when I reach the last step. His arms are crossed, and he’s leaning against the wall. A couple passes him and look at him like he’s strange. They give me the same look as they split to go around me. Once they pass, the giggles erupt.
His eyes are sad as he looks at me. All this rejection is something he’s used to. My chest aches to look at him like that. I should just turn around and leave. He’d probably be better off if I did. But I know that’s a lie I’m telling myself. He’s a reject, like me. When two more girls pass him with a stare, I know that I can’t leave him like this. I dash back down the steps and grab his hand. “Come on.”
A small smile makes its home on his full lips, and I find myself inexplicably drawn to his mouth all of a sudden. I blink hard and turn around, dragging him up the steps with me. The warm skin of his palm in mine is hard to release when we reach our classroom. But when I let him go, my skin prickles. I chance a glance into his eyes. His intense but happy plain brown eyes are fixed on mine. And it hits me how strange this all is. I make the brooding new boy happy? Me? The thought of this—the pressure is overwhelming. Uncomfortable. Scary.
I rip my gaze from his and rush into homeroom, slamming Mr. Scott in the shoulder with the door.
“Hey, whoa! There’s no hurry. The first bell hasn’t rung yet,” he says, rubbing his shoulder and tossing his empty Mountain Dew can in the trashcan by the door.
Heat rushes to my face. “I…I’m so sorry.”
Mr. Scott smiles broadly, and eyes me for a moment. Then he gestures into the room. “Not a problem Miss Kelly. Take your seat.”
With a quick nod and my head down, I march to my desk and scoot in. Ben cuts into his normal desk, right behind me. The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end at his nearness. It’s going to be a long day.
WHEN THE LUNCH BELL RINGS after third period, I linger at my desk and take my time packing my messenger bag until the class leaves without me. I glance up. I’m alone with Mrs. Blaylock. I furrow my brows and head for the hallway.
The crowded halls are full of the scuffing of shoes and the constant dialogue between students. My gaze is drawn toward the stairwell. Ben has likely gone up there to spend time with Steve. I can’t deal with this right now. I follow the crowd meandering toward the cafeteria.
I stand in line behind two sophomores who are so intent on their conversation that they hardly move forward at the appropriate times.
“Usually he’s so cute, but today, he’s a complete mess. He hasn’t shaved and he’s got bags under his eyes,” the blonde one with her hair in pigtail braids like Tasha’s says. Her hair ties are purple sparkles.
“I know, right? It’s like he’s been sleeping in his uniform all weekend. I’m surprised Stacy can stand him,” the one with the brown bob cut says, chewing on a strand of her hair.
“They’ve been a couple, like, forever. She must love him if she can sit with him like that.” The blond one jabs her thumb toward a table of seniors.
Stacy sits with an arm around a tired and haggard looking Jacob. And the teeny boppers are right. He’s a mess. The usually perfectly dressed senior class president is setting a terrible example with his shirt half tucked in and his tie loose around an unbuttoned collar. His sandy hair sticks up in all directions. Stacy’s panicked blue eyes are fixed on her boyfriend, her lips to his ear as she whispers what I imagine is encouragement. The rest of the seniors
at the table are standoffish toward the couple except Matt Benson who catches me looking and waves.
I flush and wave back, quickly averting my eyes and taking a couple steps forward in the line. The teeny boppers have moved on, discussing the latest One Direction album. When I reach the food selection, my appetite has left me. Donnie had been Jacob’s best friend, and now he was gone. I could imagine how Jacob felt. But boys weren’t allowed to collapse into someone’s arms and have a cry fest. And as much as Jacob likely tried to keep all his emotions in, they were showing in his disheveled appearance.
My heart broke for him. Broke for Donnie. Ben was right. We need to get to the bottom of this and find out if Donnie's death was caused by possession. And if Ben is the only person who can tell, then I need to help him as much as I can…no matter how awkward it is.
I take a deep breath and sigh, grabbing a saucer of mac ’n cheese and a brownie. I am in some dire need of comfort food right now. I pay the cashier and eye the room for a seat.
The senior table erupts in a shout and a bang on the table with Jacob’s fist. Silence engulfs the rest of the room so quickly that the absence of sound makes my ears ring.
“To hell with all of you. I’m going to find out what is going on, because whatever happened to him is happening to me, and I can’t take this anymore than he could.” Jacob yells and shoves the table.
Mr. Scott and the vice principal are marching in his direction. He spots them and heads off in the other direction for the courtyard door that’s behind him. The two adults follow him out.
The tide of conversation moves back in and slowly ratchets upward from low whispers to overexcited chatter. I don’t mean to listen in, but I stand there frozen.
“What’s going on? What’s he talking about?” Stacy asks, her hands in a tangled grip around Matt’s jacket lapel. Her hair is a twisted, unkempt blond braid with flyaways about her face. Her eyes are rimmed red and tears have streaked through her make up.
First Impression (A Shadow Maven Paranormal) Page 8