by Jamie Begley
It had gotten steadily worse each and every time. She had tried everything to psych herself into making it a more enjoyable experience. It had taken the first beating Scott had given her to admit that she had made a mistake. She had blamed herself for the beatings, believing her lack of desire had driven him to act out in frustration.
The counselor had tried to convince her it was Scott, who had made no effort to arouse her, he had been the problem. Sutton had tried to convince herself over and over, but she knew the truth buried deep in her heart. She had never stopped loving Tate, so every time she’d had sex with Scott, she felt she was betraying that love.
Her finger drew a line down the foggy window.
“Want to watch some television?”
She didn’t turn around when she heard Tate come into the room.
“No,” she answered.
“Cards?”
“No.”
“What do you want to do then?”
“I want you to leave me alone. Can I have some peace and quiet?”
“All you had to do was ask.” His quiet voice had her jerking around.
“I’m asking. Okay?” She started to walk by him but he stepped in front of her, blocking her escape.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, Tate. I just want to be alone.” Sutton ran her hand through her hair, dislodging the rubber band that held her hair back. Her hair tumbled down to her shoulders.
“Fine. If you don’t want to tell me, then don’t.” He moved to the side to let her pass.
“Quit pacifying me as if I’m a damn child.”
“Then quit acting like one,” he snapped.
She wanted to hit out at him so badly she physically shook. She had to get out of the house, or she would do something she would regret. She turned on her heel, running out the front door as if the cabin was on fire.
“Sutton, it’s raining!”
“Leave me alone!” she screamed back, taking off running, tears falling from her eyes that she couldn’t hold back.
She didn’t know how long she had run until she came to the tree Tate had found her at the last time she had taken off. Her arm circled the tree as she leaned against it, crying. If she had stayed, she would have begged him to make love to her, and she knew Tate well enough that he wouldn’t let her go if she had. She wouldn’t survive if they didn’t make it this time around.
She stayed there until she was able to think straight, trying to figure out what would be the best decision for her. Not Tate or anyone else, just her.
Did she want Tate? Did she want him temporarily or just for the night? One question led to others just as difficult to answer. All the thinking she had been doing hadn’t resolved anything, and she was cold and wet. The rain had plastered her hair to her head and drenched her clothes until her T-shirt and shorts clung to her body.
As she straightened from the tree, her eyes saw the edge of where the bark had been removed. Walking around, she noticed where she had scratched their names into the tree. He had teased her when she had done it.
Her hand went out to trace the initials, smiling when she saw what Tate had whittled into the tree just below their initials. “4-ever.” The marks were new.
Sutton headed home then, nearly slipping and falling several times with her determination to get back to the man who had left his mark, not only on the tree, but her heart. Like the tree, the mark wasn’t going to disappear. It would be there until, like the tree, she was no longer standing.
She was halfway across the driveway when Tate came outside. He was wearing his boots and had put on a plaid shirt, leaving it unbuttoned, and his hat was on his head. Although he had tried to give her time alone, he looked like he had been about to come looking for her, exactly like he always would.
They were old friends and sweethearts. They couldn’t get back what they had shared when they were younger. However, it was time for them to see if the adults they had become could make something more.
“Today’s the seventh anniversary of Valentine’s death,” Sutton admitted as the rain poured down on her while she stared up at him. “I won’t ever let another man hurt me again.”
Tate stood at the end of the porch. Reaching up, he held the edge of the sloping roof, his shirt flapping in the soft summer breeze.
Her eyes dropped to his body, no longer feeling the cold rain as the temperature inside of her body rose.
“That’s fair.”
“You can stay here with me or go home. I’ll leave that up to you.”
“I’ll be staying.”
“So will I. I’m done running from you.”
“Come here.”
The demand in his voice had her putting one foot in front of the other until she found herself running up the steps toward him. She jumped up the last step, and he was waiting to catch her.
She plastered herself against him. “I don’t want you to leave.”
“I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you. I plan to keep you.”
“You do?”
“I was stupid enough to let you go once, but I’m not going to make the same mistake twice.” His hands cupped her ass, lifting her into his arms.
Sutton wrapped her legs around his waist, circling his broad shoulders. She loved his shoulders. He was strong, yet his strength didn’t scare her, she felt protected and secure. Over the last ten years, she had proven she could survive the worst life could dish out. It was going to be nice to have someone strong enough to protect her if she needed help.
Tate slung open the screen door, carrying her inside the house. When he started to enter his bedroom, she raised her head.
“My room. I don’t want to have sex on my pap’s bed.”
“Woman, it’s not like he’s here.”
Stubbornly, she shook her head. “My bedroom.”
“All right, but your bed’s small. I’m going to get Greer to go into town and buy us a new bed.”
“Don’t you dare! I’ll never hear the end of it. After Knox calls, we can go into town ourselves, and you can buy me dinner.”
“Let’s see how good you are first.”
Her worries kicked in again at his playful attempt to tease her. Tate set her down on the floor beside the bed.
“You’re soaking wet.” His hands went to her waist, tugging her T-shirt over her head.
Sutton began to shiver, not because the room was cold, but because she was worried Tate wouldn’t enjoy having sex with her. When he unsnapped her bra, she pressed herself against his chest so he couldn’t get a good look at her breasts. Scott had complained they were too small and had wanted her to get a boob job.
Tate didn’t slow down. Unsnapping her shorts, he pulled down them and her panties until all her clothes lay in a puddle at her feet. He then pulled away from her to take the clothes to the bathroom.
She jerked her robe on that was lying at the foot of her bed.
Tate came to a stop when he came back into the bedroom. “The idea was to take everything off, not to put more on.” His eyes searched hers then lingered on her trembling fingers tying the belt in a knot at her waist.
“I was cold.”
“Let’s get you warm, then.” He gave her a leering smile.
Sutton laughed, but it was cut off when his mouth covered hers and his tongue thrust into her mouth, not giving her a chance to think about being nervous.
He picked her up, laying her down on the middle of the bed.
“I like the way you kiss,” she admitted.
Scott had never kissed her after they had married.
Tate threw his hat on her nightstand then jerked off his shirt. When he began to unzip his jeans, her nerves couldn’t take it anymore.
“Wait!”
Tate paused, looking at her questioningly, and Sutton sat up, her hands unconsciously trying to tie the belt at her waist tighter.
“I’m not on the pill. We need to go into town to buy condoms.”
Tate turned on his heels, leavi
ng the bedroom again. He wasn’t gone long before he came back with several foil packets in his hand, which he placed on the bedside table.
At her questioning look, Tate gave her a grin. “Greer put some in the bag he brought with my clothes.”
“Isn’t that convenient.”
“I thought so.” His hands went to his zipper again.
“I’m kind of thirsty.”
He left again, coming back with a bottle of water then watching as she drank half of it before taking it and setting it on the bedside table.
Again, he went to remove his pants.
“Wait!”
Tate paused.
“Could we have some music?” She pointed at the old-fashioned radio on her dresser.
He went to the radio, fiddling with it several minutes before he found a station she liked.
“Anything else?”
“No … I think that’s it.” Sutton ran her trembling fingers through her wet hair, looking down at her lap as she listened to the sound of Tate removing his pants. She was going to disappoint him; she just knew it.
All the feelings of anticipation had disappeared, leaving behind a feeling of sick dread.
“Sutton …?”
She lifted her tear-filled eyes to his compassionate ones.
“I don’t think I can,” she admitted, keeping her gaze steady despite the gorgeous body that was wreaking havoc with her breathing.
Tate sat down on the bed next to her, reaching out to smooth her hair away from her face. “Are you afraid I’ll hurt you?”
“No. I’m afraid I’ll disappoint you, and you won’t want me anymore,” Sutton replied.
“What happens when we make love is only going to be a part of what makes our relationship a whole. If the rest of it is good, this will be, as well.”
She nodded.
“You don’t believe me?”
“I guess I do.”
“Let me show you how good it can be. Trust me; I don’t let anyone I love down.”
He leaned over her, pressing her gently back into the soft mattress as he placed a kiss on her mouth that was achingly beautiful. The bedroom wasn’t dark, but the only light came from the cloudy sky outside the bedroom window. The summer storm had turned into a drenching rain with lightning and thunder shaking the house.
“Are you afraid of storms?” Tate broke the kiss to whisper into her ear.
“No.”
Tate got up from the bed to go to the window, shoving the curtains farther apart and raising the window until it was half-open before he came back to the bed to lie down next to her. He made no effort to touch her, just lying still next to her.
“What are you doing?”
“Waiting.”
“For what?”
“For you to make love to me.”
Sutton rose up, looking down at him wonderingly. Scott had always had her on her back or told her what to do. She didn’t know how to take the initiative.
“I like to kiss.”
“I do, too.” His laid-back attitude gave her the reassurance no words could have.
Her mouth pressed against his and when he opened to her, she let her tongue slip inside, kissing him the way she had fantasized about during the dark years she had been alone. She brought her hands to his hair, holding on to him as his arms circled her waist.
At first, he let her take the lead until he tugged her to lie on top of him, and then he began to play and torment her with the flicks of his tongue. It was like ‘catch me if you can’.
She rose up higher over him so she could get better access to him. Then she slid her hands down his chest, enjoying the feeling of the curly hairs there. Scott had waxed his sparse ones off. Tate’s made her feel as if she had a man under her hands.
His hands went between them to untie the belt at her waist. Then he pushed the robe off her shoulders. His mouth went to her neck then brushed against her shoulders. She shivered as the lightning filled the room.
Her mouth went to his neck. An instinct she didn’t know she possessed took over, and she bit down. His groan made her feel strong and possessive as she played with him.
“I’m leaving my mark on you.”
He took one of her hands, placing it over his heart. “You did that a long time ago.”
His admission removed her final misgivings and she lost herself in sensations as her hands slid over his body. Her lips traced down from his neck to his chest as his thigh parted hers, pressing upward until it rested against her pussy. Then he began to move it back and forth until it rubbed against her clit. An empty ache had her pressing herself down on his thigh.
Tate raised her slightly as he scooted himself up higher in the bed until his back was against the headboard. Sutton felt weightless as he held her hips in a tight grip, holding her poised over his cock. With exaggerated slowness, he lowered her until his cock nudged at the opening of her pussy, entering her in a way that had her holding her breath. Expecting the tight dryness she had always experienced before, she was surprised when Tate’s cock slid easily into her as if they were made for each other. When he was completely inside of her, she arched, trying to take every inch of him.
“Take it easy,” Tate soothed.
She had been unaware of the small whimpers of pleasure that had been escaping her.
“Don’t stop!” she pled, wiggling herself on his cock.
He took the edges of her robe, pulling her face to his. “I’m not stopping,” he growled. “Ride the storm, Sutton. Ride me.”
She moved on him, his cock sliding in and out of her. The room illuminated with the lightning, and she wasn’t sure if it was the thunder or her heartbeat that was increasing in intensity, driving her to frantically try to catch the eye of the storm before it disappeared.
He pulled apart her robe, taking her nipple in his mouth as she moved faster, her body spiraling into a series of explosions that had her feeling as if a thousand rockets were going off inside her body.
Tate shoved his cock higher inside her as he felt her clenching, making her soar again as she was about to come down to reality.
When she was able to focus again, she blinked, seeing Tate staring at her with a satisfied smile as he held her steady on him.
“For the first time in my life, I feel like a woman.”
“Give me ten minutes, and I’ll make you feel like a goddess.”
Sutton laughed, dropping her head onto his chest. “I’ve laughed more in the last two weeks than I have in years.”
“A man doesn’t want to hear that when his dick is still in you.”
Sutton laughed harder. “I think you can handle it.”
“I can handle anything but losing you.” Tate’s expression turned serious. “I’m never going to let you go.”
“Promise me.” She snuggled more tightly against him, and his arms surrounded her. “Promise me you’ll never let me go.”
“I promise,” he vowed.
For one blissful second, she allowed herself to believe him. She was sure, when he returned to his everyday life, he would get tired of her like the other women he’d had in his life over the years. But tonight, for now, Tate was hers.
The most painful lesson she had learned from Scott and losing Valentine was the present was all there ever was. If he changed his mind tomorrow, she would have the memory of this one perfect night. Therefore, she was going to toss her worries out the window and let tomorrow take care of itself.
Sutton glanced out the window and saw the rain had stopped, and the clouds were moving away.
“Tate, I see a rainbow.” She pointed excitedly. It was practically outside their window.
“I do, too.”
She glanced back at him. “You’re not even looking.”
“How could I not? I’m holding the pot of gold.”
“That’s so sweet.”
“I’ve told you, I’m not sweet. Men don’t want women to think of them as sweet.”
“Okay … Now you’re being an a
ss.”
“That I can handle.”
* * *
“How much longer we have to wait here? I’ve got shit to do.” Greer grumbled.
“Like what?” Tate didn’t take his eyes off the door of the grocery store, he and his brothers had been waiting for over an hour. They weren’t leaving until he sent a message, a strong one, not to fuck with him or his ever again.
“I don’t know, anything’s better than standing around twiddling my damn fingers waiting for her to come out. Why don’t we just go inside and talk to her?”
“Because I want the bitch to get my message without anyone overhearing, I didn’t keep my ass out of jail, just to have her put me there.”
“Personally I like you better in jail, at least then you’re not bothering me to do dumb shit like stand around here. I’m going inside, I’ll give her the message for you.”
Tate shoved Greer back nodding toward the entrance of the grocery store. “There she is.” He stated grimly.
“Thank fuck. I thought I was going to have to break you two up, I didn’t want to get my suit dirty. I’ve got a date tonight.” Tate and Greer both turned to look at Dustin.
“You won’t be getting any pussy tonight in that getup. Who you going out with?”
Tate paid only half attention to Greer as he picked on Dustin.
“Kaley.”
“Should have saved yourself the trouble of getting dressed up. She put’s out to anyone who has a dick. She’s older than you isn’t she? She might be able to teach you a thing or two or three…” Greer smirked.
“Shut up…she doesn’t hang out at the clubhouse with the Last Rider’s anymore.”
“That’s only because they didn’t let her join, doesn’t mean she isn’t still putting out to them at her place. Heard her and Cheryl need to both put a counter on their bedroom door to see which one of them is the biggest slut in town.”
“I already know the answer to that. Diane has them both beat hands down.” Dustin gave the killing blow to Greer’s ego. “There isn’t a pair of jeans in town that Diane’s hands hasn’t been down.”
Greer punched Dustin knocking him backward into Tate who was fed up with the brothers riling each other.