Alfred studied her. “I know better than you what kind of man he is.”
Carmen shook her head. “No, you don’t. I know what kind of man he is. He’s kind, and he loves me. He left before because of you. Don’t chase him away again. Please. Because if you do, this time I’m going with him, and you won’t see me again.”
Alarm entered Alfred’s eyes. “You don’t mean that.”
“I meant it before. I didn’t leave because…because Carlos wanted to go alone. He was worried he couldn’t take care of me. But this time, nothing will keep us apart.”
“Is that what he told you? That he was worried he couldn’t take care of you?”
“Yes.”
Alfred chuckled and shook his head. “And you think you know him?”
His smug response sounded as if he knew something she didn’t, which made Carmen frown. “I do know him.”
“You don’t know him like I do. You don’t know the kind of man he is,” Alfred said. “I didn’t want to hurt you, but he’s left me no choice. You have left me no choice.”
The pit of her stomach contracted in fear, and her bluster took a hit. “What are you talking about?”
“He didn’t tell you about the money, did he?”
“What money?”
Alfred sighed and sat down. He patted the cushion beside him. “Have a seat, and I’ll tell you everything.”
18
Carlos checked the time and then flipped the plant-based burgers on the stovetop grill. He and Carmen had discussed going meatless two days this week. He’d tried this brand of patties before, and they were pretty tasty. He figured Carmen would like them, too.
“She’ll be here soon, Sofia,” he said to the cat, who lapped water from her bowl nearby. For some reason, Carmen was bringing Franklin with her this time, and he would bring her to the apartment.
Carlos double-checked the contents of the refrigerator and then sprayed air freshener throughout the loft. When he finished, he removed each burger, set them on plates, and covered them with foil to keep them warm. Several minutes later, while slicing tomatoes, the doorbell rang.
“Shit,” he muttered. He’d hoped to have everything ready before she arrived.
He set down the knife and went to the door. When he saw Carmen, as lovely as ever in a pair of thigh-hugging jeans and a white cashmere sweater, he became overwhelmed. Damn, he loved this woman. She was standing on his doorstep, and they’d have an entire week together. He needed to figure out how to move back to Canada because the time they spent apart was eating away at his soul.
Carlos immediately swept her up in his arms, burying his face in her rose-scented hair. “Mi amor, it’s so good to see you.”
He set her on her feet and moved to kiss her, but oddly enough, she dodged his lips.
Startled, Carlos stared for a second but held on to her arms. “Hey, something wrong?” He glanced behind her. “Franklin didn’t bring up your bags?”
Carmen eased away from him and shut the door. “They’re downstairs.”
That was strange. Why didn’t Franklin just bring them up?
“Do you need me to go down and get them?” Carlos asked.
She’d told him not to come to the airport to pick her up because she was bringing Franklin with her and he’d make sure she got here, but maybe she was upset he hadn’t pushed harder. He couldn’t read her mood. He expected her to be as happy to see him as he was to see her, but instead, she appeared cool—almost aloof so far.
“No.” Carmen rubbed her hands together and walked around him and farther into the apartment.
“I made veggie burgers. I’m almost done with the fixings.”
Carmen turned and the emotion in her eyes rooted him to the spot. A deep sadness filled their depths, and he almost dragged her back into his arms again. “What’s wrong?”
She blinked rapidly. “Since last night, I’ve been trying to figure out how to broach this topic with you. I even considered not coming, but I thought…no, that was a bad idea. Because I said I was coming, and I wanted to do this face to face. And I wanted to give you a chance to explain because maybe my father was wrong or had lied.” She swallowed hard.
Carlos waited for the inevitable bomb to drop.
“Did you take money from my father to leave me?” Carmen whispered shakily.
His heart stopped. Carlos wanted to sink into the earth. His time was up. A glimmer of tears sat in Carmen’s eyes, while the twist of remorse bored a hole in his conscience.
“I can explain,” he said.
Her mouth fell open, as if she’d expected him to deny the accusation. He wished he could. Three years ago, he and Alfred had agreed to keep their transaction a secret, but Alfred had warned at the charity event that he’d tell her now that Carlos was back in her life. Carlos had intended to come clean about the money himself, but he’d thought he had more time.
“It’s true?” she whispered. “You took money from my father?”
He walked toward her. “It’s not what you think.”
Carmen jerked away and held up both hands. “Don’t touch me,” she said in a thick voice, shaking her head in disbelief. “You walked away...for money? That’s how you have all this?” She spun in a circle and then faced him again, eyes wide, mouth still agape.
Carlos licked his lips. “I didn’t want to leave,” he said, in the calmest, quietest voice he could.
She laughed and stared up at the ceiling, blinking rapidly. When her gaze landed on him again, the tears of disbelief were gone and a wounded expression filled her eyes. “The money was too tempting, is that it? He made you an offer you couldn’t refuse? I was going to walk away from everything for you. Millions. My inheritance.”
Like lashes, her words burned through his skin.
“How much did my father pay you?” she asked.
Carlos hung his head. They couldn’t be having this conversation. Not after he’d won her back and come to a decision on how to fix his huge mistake. He wanted her permanently back in his life. This couldn’t be happening right now.
“Carmen…”
“How much was breaking my heart worth to you, Carlos?” she asked.
“It wasn’t like that. It wasn’t about the money.”
“Answer me. Or I can always ask my father. That was the one bit of information he refused to divulge, but he promised to tell me if you wouldn’t.”
Quiet filled the loft, and he turned the answer over and over in his mind, wishing for a way to avoid giving her an answer.
“Two hundred thousand,” Carlos replied, almost choking on the words.
She shook her head in a pitying way. “You went too cheap. You could have negotiated more. Or maybe it didn’t matter. You got what you wanted, right?”
The money had been unexpected good fortune for his family—a raft in the middle of the sinking ship of their lives. That amount wasn’t much to her, but it had done a lot of good. Paid off bills, helped his mother open a business, and provided financial assistance to family back in Peru.
He shuffled closer but didn’t dare touch her. “I wanted you. I just…” He didn’t know what to say. Nothing excused what he did.
He had assumed Carmen would forget about him and find the right kind of man eventually. One who didn’t see the money, no matter how meagre in her eyes, as an opportunity to help his family. One who wouldn’t take money from a man who despised him. He swallowed the nasty taste of regret.
“My dad was right about you.”
“No, he wasn’t. I love you. Please, you have to believe me. I’m sorry for what I did. It was a mistake, but I loved you, Carmen. I still do.”
“Then why’d you take the money?” she asked in a voice thick with tears. Her eyes became wet again.
“I don’t know. Desperation. Do you think I wanted to take his money? I felt I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t give you the life you deserved, so I thought…maybe I could do something else. I helped my mother get her business started, and…and…
”
“And you helped yourself. Good for you. You did what was best for you and your family, and that’s what’s most important. Self. Family.”
He shook his head. “I barely kept any of it. Only enough to get me here to get started, that’s it. Every other dime went to family in Canada and in Peru.” He knew where the conversation was headed, and he didn’t want to hear her say they were finished.
“Thank you for your honesty, Carlos. Goodbye. For good this time.” She gave him wide berth as she rushed to the door.
“Carmen!”
They reached the door at the same time. As she yanked it open, he slammed his palm beside her head, shutting it again.
She swung around, eyes blazing with fury. “Let me go.”
He brought his face closer to hers. “Not again. Never again.”
“Why? Because you won’t be compensated this time? That can be arranged.”
“I’m not a heartless, greedy monster. I didn’t use you for money. It killed me to leave without you. Don’t do this. Don’t make what we have now—”
“We don’t have anything.”
Her words drove a stake in his heart, and for several seconds he couldn’t speak, the wound so deep and debilitating.
Finally, he found the words. “I love you. I would give it all back if I could, with interest—”
“I don’t care!”
“—to not have you look at me like this. I’ve tried several times, but he won’t take it.”
“I don’t care! Move your hand!” she screamed.
Carlos’s voice grew louder too. “That’s who you heard me arguing with that night. He said we had a deal. He won’t take the damn money!” His breath came in short, pained spurts.
As soon as he’d set up the solo 401K, he called Alfred and made an offer of a large down payment to reimburse him. He refused the payment. Carlos tried again after their conversation at the charity ball. Again her father rebuffed him.
Carmen’s bottom lip trembled, and she ducked her head.
“Carmen,” he whispered. “Por favor, mi amor.”
She gave her head a vigorous shake and then glared at him, as if his words had angered her. “I am not your love, and you are not my heart. I know the truth now, and I can’t un-know. Let. Me. Go.”
Carlos’s flat palm turned into a fist against the door. Should he let her leave or hold her hostage until she listened and accepted that he’d made a terrible mistake? Maybe it was better to let her go now. Later they could talk, without the emotion, when she was calmer and willing to listen.
“Where are you going?”
“None of your damn business.”
He swallowed and then stepped back.
She took a deep breath and then turned, opened the door, and closed it without another word. Carlos stared at the cold metal, his thoughts swirling in a dizzying array of doubt. Had he made the right decision? Should he have tried harder? Would she be lost to him forever now?
Seized by panic, he swung open the door.
He saw no sign of her but called out anyway. “Carmen, wait!” His voice echoed in the hallway, and he hurried toward the staircase, barefoot and determined to stop her. He caught a glimpse of her at the bottom of the stairs before she disappeared.
“Carmen!”
Grabbing on to the railing on either side, he hopped down the stairs, three at a time.
As he pushed through the door, she dived into the waiting Lincoln Navigator and Franklin shut the door. Carlos ran forward, but the big man stepped in front of him, arms crossed, staring down through his dark aviator sunglasses. An impenetrable mahogany wall. Carlos pulled up short, staring helplessly at the tinted windows which he couldn’t see beyond.
“That’s as far as you go,” Franklin said.
“Carmen, hear me out!” Carlos yelled.
A woman riding by on a bike stared at them.
He shouldn’t have let her go. He should have locked her in the apartment and begged and pleaded until she forgave him. She couldn’t leave like this, doubting his love for her. Believing he’d preferred the money over her. He’d simply thought he had no choice, but looking back, he did have a choice. He could have chosen her, and he didn’t. The biggest regret of his life.
Franklin didn’t budge, and he wouldn’t. He’d probably die trying to keep Carlos away from her. Now he knew why she’d brought him this time.
His fingers curled into his palms, and Franklin’s face transformed into stone when he saw Carlos’s fists.
“I wouldn’t if I were you,” he warned.
With deep regret, Carlos backed away from the vehicle, but Franklin remained in position, still watching him. When he decided that Carlos had moved far enough away, he opened the door and slid into the driver’s seat.
Carlos heard the power locks engage on the inside.
Seconds later, the vehicle pulled away, leaving him alone on the sidewalk.
19
Carlos hung up the phone in frustration and tossed it on the sofa. Restlessly, he paced the floor.
Where was she? She could at least respond to let him know she received the half a dozen texts and four voicemails he’d left in the few hours since she’d been gone. Had she left for the airport or was she still in the city? He couldn’t stay here. Wondering. Waiting. He’d go mad.
Carlos stopped pacing. Natalie! If Carmen hadn’t gone to the airport, she was probably at Natalie’s.
He grabbed his keys and raced out of the apartment. He drove over the speed limit to Natalie’s place and parked in the underground parking lot. Since he couldn’t get upstairs without being buzzed in, he waited outside her building. At some point, one of the tenants would come out or go in, and then he could slip inside and plead his case from outside the apartment door.
Lucky for him, mere minutes later, Natalie exited the building with earbuds tucked into her ears. She hadn’t noticed him against the outer wall. The same thick twists cascaded down her back as she bounced down the sidewalk to the tune in her ears.
Carlos walked up behind her and tapped her on the shoulder. “Natalie.”
She spun around, and when she saw him, her face transformed into a scowl. She removed the buds, and he heard the faint sound of a hip-hop track. “What do you want?”
This was going to be very, very hard. “I need to talk to Carmen. I need to see her.”
“No and no. She doesn’t want to talk to you or see you. You’ve done enough.”
He fought the urge to yell in anger. “I need to explain the situation.”
Natalie smiled sweetly—too sweetly. Tilting her head, she blinked up at him. “From what I hear, you already explained. There’s nothing more for you to say. Carmen knows what you did and why you did it, and she doesn’t care. You were wrong, and apologizing isn’t going to change that. Leave her alone.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not? You did before, with your pockets full of cash.”
Carlos winced, and she looked almost apologetic.
“I love her.”
“If that’s true, then you shouldn’t want to hurt her,” Natalie said.
“I don’t. I didn’t. I made a mistake. She loves me, Natalie. Let me inside the apartment to talk to her. I only need five minutes.”
“I am not going to betray her trust for you. Carmen is a good person, a sweetheart. Her heart broke when you left, and now to find out your absence was bought…how do you think that makes her feel?”
Her words and unyielding stance revealed the hopelessness of the situation.
“She didn’t deserve what you did. Let her be, Carlos.” Natalie tucked the buds back in her ears and walked away.
Carlos shifted his gaze up the side of the building to the windows above. Carmen was up there. She might even be looking at him right now. So close, yet so far away.
He dropped his gaze to the street filled with cars and shoppers and inhabitants of the buildings, and emptiness filled him. They were supposed to be spending the week tog
ether.
Taking her father’s money had been an act of desperation—one he wasn’t proud of—and one he couldn’t explain without a deep sense of shame and regret. Regret that he’d lost Carmen, and now he was losing her all over again.
Gulping back his pain, he put one foot in front of the other and walked slowly back to his car.
Carmen stared up at the ceiling in her old bedroom at her parents’ house, having sought refuge here upon her return to Toronto a few days ago. She hadn’t seen her father because he was out of town. She wasn’t sure what she would say to him when he did arrive because she’d been so ugly to him and so rude during their last face-to-face conversation, when he truly had only been trying to protect her. She’d called him a liar, but in reality, he knew Carlos’s true character.
A knock sounded on the door, and she rolled her head to the side and called, “Come in.”
Her mother walked in with a steaming cup and a sympathetic expression on her face. Carmen sat up against the pillows and accepted the chamomile tea.
Graciela sat on the side of the bed and watched as Carmen took a sip and then rested the cup and saucer on the bedside table.
“How are you feeling, mija?” she asked.
“The same.” Carmen shrugged.
She might never return to the optimistic, easy-going person she used to be. She was disillusioned, hurt, and saddened not only by Carlos’s decision, but also by her own inability to see him for who he really was. Was she so blinded by the romanticism of falling in love and her parents’ example of a happy marriage that she had been willing to accept anything? Willing to turn a blind eye to Carlos’s true character? Even now, she couldn’t remember a moment in their relationship—past or present—when he had ever treated her less than respectfully or lovingly. He was simply that good at faking his feelings for her. Sadly, she had been right all along. She loved him more than he loved her. In fact, he’d clearly never loved her at all.
Never Again: a second chance romance (Quicksand Book 3) Page 11