No!
Please!
I squinted through the heavy mist as a forceful gust of salty brine pulled tears from my searching eyes.
I rubbed them in lost defeat and fell back into the zucchini vines with a hollow thud. My head fell into my trembling knees and I cried bitter tears of loss.
The gaping hole in my chest, left by my mother’s death, came back full force in all its vile darkness and I struggled to breathe.
Short gasps for air pierced the silence around me.
I wanted to go back. More than anything in the world. I wanted to help the captain. I wanted to save the sailor’s life. To be part of the clan again.
Accepted. Needed.
I belonged there.
Wiping the stinging tears from my face, it all became clear. I had to go back. I had to face my fear and return to that place. Somewhere back in time. And stay longer.
Much longer.
Pressing my lips together in resignation, I dreamt of returning.
It was crazy though. There was no doubt in my mind about that. And I was certainly the only person I knew who was dabbling in such notions. So, did that mean I should be questioning my own sanity?
My head shook as I thought about my current existence. I’d be insane to not run from it.
My eyes rested on my palms as I wondered if it even mattered. Who cared if it seemed crazy? That was just a label for something people didn’t understand or couldn’t handle. I was ready for this. And somehow it made sense to me.
But my grandparents.
The nagging in my gut worried me. I had no idea what would happen to me if I stayed in my vision longer. And then, what would happen to my grandparents if they couldn’t wake me?
I closed my eyes as my lips pressed together. The war inside me raged.
But something had to change. I was done just surviving here. I was ready to live.
Sitting in my grandparent's garden, I had nothing to work toward. They wanted me to go to college, then get a good job. It was all planned out for me. But in my heart, my soul, it sounded awful. More boring classes, churning out papers and being judged at every turn. Then a new prison of a cubicle, staring at a computer all day. It wasn’t for me.
I needed to follow my heart. To live a life of purpose. And I swear, that life was back on that beach. With my captain.
I looked back toward the house and then to Joey's shed. The creak of the floorboards assured me he was still in there. So little time had passed, but I'd had a full, exhausting day at the shipwreck.
It made no sense.
"Maaaaaeve... Come on up for dinner..." Gram sang out from the kitchen window.
I pulled myself up to standing and focused on the statue of St. Brendan the Navigator. He was fearless. He sailed into the unknown in search of the Promised Land. And he'd been goading me my entire life. Maybe for this.
I turned and ran for the porch stairs and climbed them two at a time. I flew into the kitchen with a smile that spread across my face.
"What's all the excitement, dear? See yerself a rabbit?" Gram questioned my sudden enthusiasm.
"No. Just happy. I love the garden and the fresh air." I smiled to myself. Thoughts of returning to the captain consumed my every breath.
"Well, help me with the spuds now, will ya?" She reached for the steaming pot.
A twang of guilt twitched in my stomach as Gram’s comforting rituals played out in the kitchen. I poured the boiling water into the sink as the steam rose and coated my face. I usually turned my head from the hot vapor but today, I let the steam surround me with its blanketing mist, reminding me of my visit to another land.
As I blinked into the swirls rising off the cooked potatoes, I planned my return to my captain. The sailor needed me. My captain needed me.
I had to time it right, though. So Gram wouldn't interrupt and Joey wouldn't worry. I needed more time for the next visit before being pulled back. I needed hours, not minutes.
But I also had to accept that there were no guarantees… in any of it. No guarantees it would work again and no guarantees I would make it back home if it did work.
My eyes followed the water as it whirled into a funnel and disappeared down the drain, gurgling out of sight.
Maybe at night, when they were asleep? I would sneak out.
Chapter 4
Disguising my sinister plan, I stuck to my evening routine to the most minuscule detail. Brushed teeth, cup of water for night stand, scooching slippers down the hall, every little habit and idiosyncrasy - to be sure to not raise suspicion.
Once I heard Joey's snores and Gram's mumbling gargles, I snuck out of my room. I crept down the hall, wide-legged to avoid the center floorboards that creaked, and slid through the kitchen on tip toes. With my heart in my throat, I tickled the porch slider open and squeezed through the narrow space. I closed it behind me and turned with more confidence to the stairs.
A quick look back and I moved down the stairs in one fluid motion and tore down the lawn to the garden.
It had worked in the garden last time, and it seemed like the best place to do this. I was home so, if something weird happened, at least I’d be somewhat safe. And they’d be able to find me.
My heart beat out of my chest from the excitement of the freedom and anticipation but also for the thrill of returning to the beach. It was all mixed together with the fear that caused my body to shake, heightening my senses.
I reached up for my locket and squeezed it, checking to be sure it was still latched.
I hadn't opened it even once in the last three years… until today. I needed it now to transport something for me. Maybe its contents would make it to the other side.
I squeezed it again, pressing hope deep into its core. Willing my mother to keep watch over the contents. And praying I wasn't too late.
The darkness of night all around me encroached on my confidence as I looked around for hidden spooks or ghouls. The darkest shadows at the evergreens sent chills over my skin as I recognized how nighttime had her own set of rules. Her own secret inhabitants.
St. Brendan invited me over with his comforting gaze and offered me a spot to sit right in front of him. I dropped to my knees and looked into his familiar, guardian-like face, and my anxious heart settled.
I breathed in and out, finding my natural rhythm, and whispered, "Hi."
My eyes moved left, then right, to be sure I was still alone, half expecting to see gnomes creeping out from the overhanging shelter of the arborvitaes.
"I'm going again. You know that. Right?" I half-smiled at St. Brendan. "Just like you. I'm going to explore a new land. There's something there for me, I think."
His welcoming face held no judgment this time. Instead, his eyes held wonder. And I latched onto it.
I closed my eyes and listened.
I breathed.
My heartbeat moved through my veins, setting a mellow rhythm with each heavy pulse. As I exhaled, I settled deeper onto the ground, becoming a part of the earth.
My thoughts wandered along a path of their own and I followed without resistance. Thoughts of school and the kids who were nice to me, but who always hid their sympathy just behind their next blink. Thoughts of Gram and Joey always doing everything they could for me, to make up for my grief in any way possible, but holding too tight, not letting me become who I was meant to be. Thoughts of my room - college brochures, electronics, make-up I didn't know how to use.
Then my mind traveled to the other side — to the beach, the clansmen and my captain.
The view of rolling green hills and sandy beaches awakened my soul. The smells of the briny breeze, fresh wet grass and smoldering fires secured my surroundings. And sounds of the ancient language used among my clan and the clang of metal tools and weapons felt like home.
I opened my eyes and came face to face with St. Brendan.
Disappointment blanketed me. I remained in my mundane, poorly-fitted setting. My eyes closed again as the sharp peaks of my shoulders sa
nk.
I must be crazy.
How could I want such a thing? To go to a land of lawless rebellion and strife. Chaos and death. But it was also a land of magic and legend. Loyalty and honor. I yearned to be a part of it.
A tear trickled from my closed eyes and ran down my cheek. A cool breeze pulled it back toward my ear. I wiped at it and shook it off my fingertips into the wind. It broke apart and scattered as mist back onto my face.
The mist widened my eyes and I breathed in every droplet as a burst of energy knocked me back. My arms secured me from falling and I lifted my chin to the force as my hair billowed in the gusts. My heart soared as I stood and moved forward into the swirls of grays and greens.
It was like being trapped in the void of a vacuum. I pressed forward through a streaming blur of fog and meshed colors. My breath stopped for a moment as a stillness settled over me, one filled with lonely emptiness, like death.
But in the next instant, I passed through the vacant space and was blasted by more wind that left the taste of salt on my lips, mixed colors that widened my eyes, and sounds of life that lifted my heart to overflowing — booming voices and clanging metal.
As I stumbled forward, the air cleared and settled around me. My jaw fell open as I gazed up the high stone wall of the castle we'd trekked to.
I stood at the corner of the stronghold, the side that met the sea. My feet stuck in the spongy seaweed as the tide crept in closer. Black marks up the side of the wall and along the stone steps proved the height of the tides’ twice-daily visit.
I moved toward the stairs and as I turned the corner, my eyes filled with the ominous sight of its enormous black, brooding door.
Curiosity exploded in me and I stepped closer to the door as the smell of burning turf and heated iron filled my head.
Men and women moved around the grounds with purpose, tending to livestock, cleaning down weapons and tools, and far off in the hills, cutting sections of the earth into bricks and piling them in mounds.
Some faces were more familiar this time and nodded to me in formal greeting as they passed by.
I smiled back, forcing my lips up while my wide eyes and trembling limbs likely exposed my shock of being there.
Remembering my mission, I turned to the door and reached for the heavy metal ring in its center. I heaved as it groaned open, resisting my efforts with all its might. My instincts led me through the first floor, past the busy bustling of women in heavy aproned skirts, tending to fires and mending leather garments.
I flew up the ladder to the second floor, passing caldrons and carcasses being prepared for the meal. Up another ladder onto the third floor of supplies, weapons, and armor and then the spiral staircase.
I knew it must lead to the top floor. Her chambers.
I swallowed and it squeaked through my tight throat. I needed to find her, and the sailor. I could help them.
My feet didn't hesitate as my courage led the way, and I climbed the spiral stairs in an instant. At the top, I froze in the doorway that led to my captain’s private chambers.
Light filled the space through an enormous open window looking out onto the sea. It was the biggest, and only, window aside from the narrow slits on all the lower floors.
I peered into her chambers and my eyes widened in awe as I stared at elaborate tapestries on the walls, crossed swords over the grand fireplace, and standing battle armor as if a ghost held it up in its true form. The four-post bed in the middle of the room was surrounded by draping fabric and a jagged animal skin rug lay by its side.
My heart stopped when I saw her. She hovered over the sailor, wiping his head with a damp cloth.
As I stepped closer, her head turned to me and the dark despair in her eyes sent terror through me. The sour poison of grief lodged itself in her stare.
I knew that look in her eye, all too well, and it brought back a wave of sadness that flattened me as I thought of my mother. I caught my breath and ran to her side.
I reached for him and pressed my hand over his forehead. His burning skin shot me back in wide-eyed fear, causing her to gasp and cover her mouth.
He wouldn't live if I couldn't stop the fever.
My fingers wrapped around my locket. "I can help him," I told her in a steady voice.
She held onto his hand and leaned into me.
"How? I've tried everything. Meadowsweet of the Druids, Elderflower, garlic... what more can we do?" Her ancient language filled my mind with the sound of centuries of voices in despair as her exhausted eyes begged me to help her.
I reached for the clasp of my necklace and took it off, placing the locket on the bed. I prayed the contents were still inside. The locket was Mom's and somehow, I was sure she was with me in all of this. Like she meant for it to be.
The captain stared at the locket without breathing. Then her eyes shot to mine as she waited for my next move.
I pushed my fingernail into the latch and popped it open. Mom’s thumbnail portrait smiled out at me with a new twinkle in her eye. Eight tiny white pills bounced around inside the locket and some hopped right out. My spine straightened in victory as I gazed on the beautiful, life-saving sight.
Grania leaned in and poked at one of the pills and reeled back, as if not to disturb its magic.
"Stones? Pearls? What have you?" Her head tipped at me.
"They're medicine. Special medicine for the fever. We need to get him to swallow it." I gathered the super-pills in my hands, grateful for not finishing my powerhouse course of antibiotics after my wisdom teeth were removed. The new micro-pills were a perfect fit for the locket.
"Get some water and help me get this into him."
She hesitated, staring at me with a blank expression.
“Where did you get those?” Her eyes squinted as she studied me.
"Oh, umm.” My eyes diverted to the side as I bit my bottom lip. “A tinker, passing through. A medicine woman, I think.”
“A traveler?” Her eyes pierced through me in judgment. “More like a witch.”
“No, she was smart. Knew medicine better than anyone.” I scooched closer to the sailor. “Come on! Get him up! We need to do this now or he will die."
I pressed forward with urgency, leaving no room for further negotiation.
I waited at the doorway to her chambers. Every little sound making me flinch.
She leaned over him, rubbing a wet cloth across his forehead. She was a warrior. A leader. And now, a healer.
She was probably a princess too at one time, when she was small. Sheltered. Protected. But that life didn’t suit her. It was obvious she wanted more. A life of adventure. Purpose.
Like me.
My eyes half closed as I studied her. Regal, powerful, respected, brave…
I wanted to be like her. And if I couldn’t be like her, I would at least support her.
I thought back to the trek to the castle in my first vision. The clansmen had told stories among themselves about how she had chopped her hair off when she was younger, to disguise herself as one of the men. My ears had perked up at the story, showing me her transformation in its telling.
She had been determined to be allowed to go out to sea, where other women didn’t tread. Weren’t allowed. It was believed to be a bad omen or a curse to have a woman aboard.
And now, she was captain. Leader of the clan. And here she was, caring for the sick too.
I saw what was happening. It was the Florence Nightingale effect, except she had already fallen for him the moment she saw him on the beach. It was weird, like they were meant to be. A perfect match.
I squirmed and bared my teeth at the thought. Guys made me uncomfortable in every way. I was so awkward around them. And this soul mate crap just made me mad. It was overplayed in movies and I didn't believe in it.
But watching this unfold in front of my very eyes made me rethink it all. She was in love with him. And he didn't even know it.
We delivered the last dose of my 'pearls', as she called them, and t
his time he swallowed with determination. This was a milestone from when we had to place the pills in his cheek and gums, allowing them to dissolve while he dribbled everywhere.
I prayed the short course of antibiotics would still be effective, considering his body, and every bacterium in it, had never been confronted by it before.
She looked at me in astonishment as he fidgeted and mumbled. "He's waking?" she asked.
I sat back to the edge of the bed. "Yes. It worked.” His temperature and color had returned to normal. “He'll be okay."
Tears of relief filled my eyes as I gazed on his magnificent form. He had lost weight and was definitely dehydrated, but he was a beautiful specimen of a man. One you would see in a gladiator movie.
I blushed at my response to him, knowing he was already claimed.
I wondered about his age, knowing he was older than me. Though he was weathered by the sea and sun, he was still young. Younger than my captain by a few years, I thought. Early thirties maybe.
I shook my head to stop my wandering thoughts from going where they shouldn’t. But I couldn't help it. He was amazing and I stared like a silly schoolgirl.
My captain caught me in my lost love gaze and laughed at me.
"I know, Maeve." She nodded her head with a guilty grin.
"Sorry," I confessed through my crimson flush.
I pulled my eyes away from him and watched her soft expression as she studied him.
"He's my mate," she said. Her words filled the room with definitive certainty.
"I know." I smiled at her as my heart burst. "He is."
I moved further away to the edge of the bed and watched my captain hover over her sailor. She waited for his eyes to flicker open. I held my breath in excruciating anticipation.
His muscles twitched as his fingers and feet moved, adjusting to time and space, for what seemed like eternity. His chest rose with a strong inhale, one that woke him and brought him to the present. We held our breath as his eyes flickered opened.
Rockfleet (The Pirate Queen Book 0) Page 4