by E. C. Land
“No,” I whimper, shaking my head in denial.
“Don’t lie to me, Fawn. You let them inside you without protection?” he growls, lifting up and ripping my dress from my body. Gliding his hands up to remove my strapless bra, Viking then cups my breasts. “Did you let them suck on these beautiful tits?”
Tears are pouring out of the corners of my eyes, and I sob. “Get off me,” I cry, pushing against his chest.
“Answer me,” Viking roars, releasing my breasts to snatch my wrists. He places them over my head.
“I wasn’t with anyone.” I scream, “I couldn’t be with another man. I never wanted to risk the chance of becoming pregnant. The thought of carrying someone else’s child makes me sick to my stomach when I couldn’t even carry ours.” Thrashing under him, I try to push him off of me.
Viking tenses further, “What did you just say?”
Stilling, I realize what I’d blurted out.
Oh. No.
Please tell me I didn’t.
Closing my eyes, I suck in a shuttered breath.
“Fawn, did you say what I think you just said?” Viking asks venomously. “You were pregnant?”
“Yes,” I utter inaudibly.
Viking jumps off me and starts pacing the length of my room. “You were pregnant with my kid and didn’t tell me.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, covering myself—shielding my body from his eyes.
“You’re sorry? What do you have to be sorry for? For not telling me?” Viking snaps, shooting me a glare.
“Because I was a stupid girl who was scared and didn’t know how to say anything to anyone. I was a frightened eighteen-year-old in love with a man who was older. Not just that, but in the world he lives in, I didn’t want him to think I slept with him—giving him my virginity…” I blather. Now that he knows I can’t seem to keep my emotions in check, everything comes out. “I didn’t want to be looked at as a girl who trapped a man with a kid. I’m not one of those Torpedoes.”
“Who said you were a club slut?” Viking demands, having come back to join me, sitting on the edge of the bed. How did I not realize he had stopped pacing and sat down during my rant? “Dollface, you are not one of those bitches. You’re the daughter of a club member. You’re my ol’ lady. The woman who had my heart since the first time you skinned your knee on the gravel parking lot learning to ride a dirt bike.”
Inhaling sharply, I gape at this man. He can’t be serious. That was years ago.
“Viking,” I murmur.
“No, baby, I’m sorry you felt you couldn’t come to me with the news of you being pregnant. Even more sorry you miscarried.”
Fresh tears slide down my cheeks as I cast my eyes downward. “I didn’t miscarry.”
“What do you mean?” Viking asks tautly.
“I-I . . . well we . . .” I stammer, trying to find my words. “He didn’t make . . .”
“Fawn, just tell me what happened,” Viking says, moving closer and cupping the side of my face.
“I was seven months pregnant—something didn’t feel right, and I went to the doctor. She noticed something off too, did some tests, and ended up breaking the news to me. Our baby died before he even had a chance to live. Being that I was so far along, I had to give birth.”
“Fuck,” Viking murmurs, pulling me into his arms. “I wish you would’ve told me. I should’ve known what you were going through. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”
Viking moves us up the bed and lays down, pulling the covers over my naked body—not once letting me go. “Sleep baby, in the morning, we’ll talk more about everything. But know this, Fawn, I’m not letting you get away from me again. Never.”
I don’t know why, but hearing those words make it feel like for once I’m finally home.
Chapter Eight
Viking
Holding Fawn in my arms, I stare up at the ceiling. I’m torn between emotions right now. Anger at not knowing my woman was pregnant and the fact she’d kept it from me. Sadness, because I’ll never hold the little boy she gave birth to.
Fawn’s been through hell, and I didn’t even know it. She’s everything to me, which makes her suffering so much harder to take.
There’s a lot of answers we need to get to the bottom of.
Fuck.
I had never wanted her to experience anything like this. Let alone without me.
Wrapping my arms tighter around Fawn, I keep her close and decide that in the morning we’ll figure it out. She’ll know I’m here for her.
I groan and roll in the bed, ignoring the bright sun shining through the window. It’s too damn early, and it feels like I only just got to sleep. Reaching across the bed, I find I’m alone and open my eyes in search of Fawn.
Where the hell did she go?
Throwing the covers off me, I climb out of bed, stagger to the door, and down the stairs. I follow the smell of coffee to the kitchen, where I notice a coffee mug waiting for me. Thank fuck, Fawn remembers. I grab the pot and pour myself a full cup of the hot brew and meander to the open back door and push through the screened one. I spot Fawn sitting there with her feet curled under her.
“Morning, Dollface,” I say, padding across the porch to take a seat next to her.
Fawn tilts her head slightly to meet my gaze. “Hey,” she whispers, stiffening. “You, ah, you seem okay this morning.”
“Baby, I’m far from being good,” I grunt, bringing the steaming mug to my lips. I take a gulp and set the cup on the table between us. I reach out, placing a hand on her bare leg. “There’s a lotta shit between us, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you, Fawn. I do. More than anything. I didn’t want to let you go the way I did for so long. I figured that after school, you’d come home. When you didn’t, and I found out you were going out with other men, I fucked up even more.”
Fawn’s breath hitches in her chest, and the tears in her eyes gut me.
“You were with other women,” she murmurs.
“I didn’t fuck other women, but yes, I had them suck me off. I needed a release, though I never allowed them to go further than that. I’m sorry for letting them near me.”
Nodding, Fawn remains quiet and stares out at the water. I give her the moment she needs to take in my deception.
“Viking, I can’t be mad at you for well . . . you know. I mean, I can’t even remember the fact we were married,” she utters, not looking in my direction.
“Doesn’t make what I did right, Dollface,” I grumble, picking my coffee up and taking another sip.
“Why don’t we start afresh?” Fawn suggests.
Frowning, I sit forward in my chair and take her features in as she turns in the chair to face me. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, put the past behind us. We’ve made mistakes,” she murmurs, wrenching her hands through her hair. Her eyes stay on me the entire time, the tears she’s holding back glistening in the morning sun. “I will forever regret not telling you about our baby. Worse not calling you when I held him in my arms.”
“Did you have someone with you?” I ask, wondering if she at least had someone with her.
Fawn nods and swipes a tear away. “I couldn’t get a hold of my dad, so I called Ice.”
“Hold on, Ice knew?” Anger starts to spike once again in my blood.
“Please listen to me before you decide to go beat Ice up,” Fawn stammers quickly.
“I’m listening.”
“I called Ice. He came and was there. He held my hand and saw what I went through. He knew my baby was yours. Ice wanted to call you, but I begged him not to. I swore him to secrecy. I promised him I’d tell you myself,” Fawn cries, casting her eyes down to her lap. “I named him, you know, and Ice brought me back here for a burial for him. Since being back, I haven’t been to his grave.”
“What’s his name?” My chest tightens at the knowledge.
“Reid Tatum Kolden,” she answers softly. At the mention of the name. I go still. I know that name. I’ve seen it in the ceme
tery when I’ve gone with Ice to place flowers on his momma’s grave. The stone sits right next to hers with little wings. The date of birth and death on it. I’d never thought to ask Ice about it, but he always touched the stone.
Fuck.
So many times I’ve been there, even done the same thing figuring if the stone meant something to Ice, it meant something to me. Dammit. I want to beat the shit out of my VP, but at the same time thank him. He’d been trying to keep his promise to his cousin, yet tell me something so important as this without using words. I get what he did, but it doesn’t mean he’s not getting a punch in the face or two.
“I-um-I have a picture of him if you want to see,” Fawn says, breaking my train of thought.
I nod and stand. I step over to her and squat in front of her. “I’d like that, baby, but first, I want to do as you suggest. Right here. Right now. We’re starting afresh, and that means I’m gonna show you just how much you mean to me.”
I straighten from my position, bend, and scoop Fawn up into my arms bridal style. Holding her close, I carry her into the house, up to our room, and capture her mouth in mine.
Today starts a new beginning for the two of us. Tomorrow we’ll deal with the rest.
Chapter Nine
Fawn
Waking up yesterday morning, I’d been haunted by my choices. I hurt Viking by keeping his son’s existence from him. No matter how much pain I had felt, I could see the way it pained him as well.
Then he admitted to me what he’d done with those Torpedoes. Sure he didn’t screw them. Still, it crushes me to know he allowed them to touch him. He at least didn’t try to hide it from me, and in his defense, I didn’t remember us being married. Viking thought I had cheated on him. In a way I did . . . I kept him from the truth of his son.
The fact he’s willing to even put the past behind us and start anew astounds me.
Of course, this morning, I nearly thought it was all a dream when I woke up alone. I simply laid there for a moment thinking.
Thinking of the past and what we could’ve been if I hadn’t freaked and ran from him. No matter how much I thought I wasn’t meant for a life in his world—it’s still ours. I grew up in it.
“What are you thinking so hard about?” I nearly jump out of my skin at the sound of Viking’s gruffly husky voice.
Sitting upright, clutching the sheet to my naked body, I glance in his direction and rake my eyes over him, all but eye-fucking him. Standing in the doorway to the bedroom, he’s leaning against the frame, holding two coffee cups.
God knows he looks gorgeous standing there like that. I didn’t get the chance yesterday to really look at his tattoos the way I want.
“You scared the crap out of me,” I say, chastising him.
Chuckling, Viking prowls through the room, his eyes never leaving mine. I reach out and take one of the mugs.
Cupping the coffee cup with both hands, I smile. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Dollface,” he says, taking a seat next to me and resting his back against the headboard. “There’s a family BBQ at the clubhouse this afternoon,” he announces nonchalantly.
“Okay,” I retort slowly, “you want me to go to the cookout.” I know that’s exactly what he’s getting at.
“Yeah, Fawn. You’re my ol’ lady, and I wanna spend time with you while we’re with the rest of those who consider you family. It’s been a long time since you’ve been to one baby, and everyone’s missed you.”
Dammit. Why does he have to have a way with words?
“I suppose I can join you. I don’t have any appointments with anyone,” I say, mentally thinking of my schedule and what I’ve got to get done.
“Good, now drink your coffee, Dollface. I wanna spend the morning fuckin’ you before I have to share you.”
Oh. My. God.
His words did not just make me wet at the thought of him doing the many things he did yesterday.
Feeling brazen, I smile at him before reaching over him to place my coffee cup on the nightstand. “You know I think I’m done with my coffee for now,” I murmur, leaning down to press a kiss to his chest.
Peeking at him through my eyelashes, I shiver at the intensity of his stare. I smile to myself as I go back to kissing his delectable chest.
I make a mental note to check out his tattoos when I’m not trying to seduce him. I’ve never done this before. Not like I needed to—but I’ve read books.
“Fawn, what are you doing?” Viking rasps huskily, but doesn’t stop me.
I pepper kisses down his chest in answer. I don’t need words to answer his question. He can figure it out on his own. Moving further down, I slip between his legs and unzip his jeans. Viking’s cock springs out, jutting upward.
Grasping his hardened shaft, I give it a jerk. Lean down to lick across the slit, tasting the bead of precum leaking out the tip.
“Fuck, baby,” Viking hisses, his hips involuntarily lift off the bed.
“Hmm,” I moan, wrapping my lips around his cock—taking him to the back of my throat and swallowing. I’ve read it’s very pleasurable to a guy.
Viking groans as he sinks his hands into my hair. “Suck my cock, Fawn.”
At his command, I greedily start bobbing my head, moaning around his thickness. I dip a finger between my own legs and toy with my pussy. Viking’s cock twitches in my mouth, and I know he’s close to release.
Viking seems to have another plan, because he knifes up and pulls me up his body.
“Viking,” I whine in protest.
“Next time, Dollface,” he rasps, flipping us over and sinks inside me with one forceful thrust. “I need to fuck you.”
“Yes,” I moan, arching my back, taking him deeper.
Viking rapidly thrusts into my pussy, hitting my G-spot every time. He fucks me straight into an orgasm, making me scream his name, “Roth.”
“That’s right, Fawn, scream my name,” he grinds out and keeps powering into me. “Your pussy feels so fuckin’ good squeezing my cock.”
“I’m going to come again,” I pant, digging my nails into his arms.
“Good, come all over me, baby. Milk my cock.”
His husky command is all it takes. I cry out as my release washes over me.
“Fuck yeah,” Viking growls, his cock twitching inside me, and I know he’s coming by the way his movements falter. Slowing Viking adjusts his body over mine until he’s bracing himself on his elbows. Tilting his head down, he kisses me tenderly. “Love you, Fawn.”
My breath hitches in my chest at his declaration, tears well in my eyes, and I meet his gaze. “I love you too. I always have.”
“Good.” He smirks and presses another kiss to my lips. “Now, let’s get cleaned up and get to the clubhouse.”
Smiling, I nod.
If this is a fresh start for us, then I’ll take it.
I’m sure we’re going to have speed bumps ahead of us, but I can handle it. No matter how much I regret losing Reid, I realize Ice was right. I need to live, and I want to do that with Viking.
Chapter Ten
Viking
With Fawn on the back of my bike, I pull into the clubhouse parking lot. Most of my brothers are already outside getting the cookout started. They turn and start making catcalls and wolf whistle noises as I park, putting the kickstand down.
Fawn slips off the back of my bike, dressed in her faded black jeans that cling to her legs like a second skin. My heart fills with pride at the shirt she had chosen to wear today. It’s a white T-shirt with the club’s logo on it. The way it fits against her chest has my cock twitching behind my zipper. Best of all, she’s wearing the cut I’d gotten made years ago for her. She was surprised when I’d pulled it out of the closet.
Swinging a leg over, I take Fawn’s hand in mine and pull her to me. Right there in front of the club, I wrap my arm around her and kiss her, thrusting my tongue into her mouth. Fawn circles my neck, reaching up on her tiptoes, and deepens the kiss. She knows ex
actly what I’m doing, and I inwardly chuckle, knowing she’s doing the same.
Pulling back from the heated kiss, I give my woman a smirk. “Are you ready?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” she giggles and releases her grasp on my neck.
Wrapping a hand around her waist, I hold her close as we make our way to where all the excitement is happening.
Apricot squeals the moment we’re close enough. “You’re here.” The girl nearly plows Fawn over as she slams into my woman. “Oh my God, I’m so excited you’re home. We have so much to catch up on.”
The two of them may have a few years between them, but that doesn’t mean Fawn didn’t take Apricot under her wing—especially since CJ wasn’t around.
CJ and Apricot are my cousins, but also the daughters of Scorpion and Sabrina. After my uncle, Fireball, died, the girl’s aunt on their mother’s side took CJ and gave Apricot up for adoption—or I should say auction. Scorpion and his ol’ lady had taken the little girl, paying a hefty price. My dad and the rest of the club chipped in to get her. We tried to do the same with CJ, but the stupid bitch had refused to give her up.
Thanks to the nasty divorce my dad was going through at the time, he wasn’t able to be granted custody of the girls. No matter they didn’t even know their mother’s side of the family.
We’re all protective of her. More now than anything after everything CJ had endured. I’m thankful she’s finally happy and has a man who’ll keep her safe. Even if she ain’t with one of my brothers. She’s at least with Axe, and I know he’s a good man. I’d met him a few times over the years. Well before he got with my cousin.
Axe’s been down to our club several times when him and his brothers are in town visiting Simone, one of the girls, they’d saved. I personally don’t know her or what happened, but from what they’d said, the girl went through hell and the whole situation is completely fucked up. Especially considering she’s in Resting Hands Mental Institute.
As Fawn and Apricot talk, I give my woman a kiss on the cheek and head to where my brothers are shooting the shit.