I’d come to know George and Anita as well as I could and had so much sympathy and compassion for them. I accepted the people they were and had wanted to be. And acceptance, I knew, was a vital form of love. I realized that a desire to find a way to love them had been hidden in my search all along; it was the need that had fueled all I sought. I would always have questions and always lack certainty, but that was okay, because I’d managed to find peace.
I was privileged to work with an outstanding team at Crown. My editor, Lindsay Sagnette, was a champion of this book from the beginning, and Domenica Alioto and Rose Fox provided invaluable guidance through many drafts and revisions. I received additional support from Leslie Wells, and am grateful to have found her.
My agents, Lane Zachary and Jennifer Gates of Aevitas Creative, were therapists, eagle-eyed readers, and, most important, believers. Their faith was there when mine was not.
Doree Shafrir asked me to write an essay about the original My Dead Parents for BuzzFeed, and that essay is a big reason why this book exists at all. I am as thankful for her friendship as I am for her vision.
My writing group provided me with so much cheese and even more encouragement. Emily Gould, Bennett Madison, Lukas Volger, and Lauren Waterman are as patient as they are wise.
Ruchika Tomar, Annie DeWitt, Meaghan Winter, Lauren Spohrer, Eva Lou, Chiwan Choi, Elizabeth Greenwood, Catrin Einhorn, Abby Rabinowitz, and Kristen O’Toole read parts of this book as I was writing and gave me insight and counsel when I was desperate for both. Wei Cho was an excellent research assistant.
I am deeply indebted to Charles Colson, Susan and Martin Davidson, Sally Warren, Sylvia Marich, Jo-Del and Doug Gaeth, Eileen Meny, Anne Carballo, Rita Jeremy, Martha Margowsky, George Gajecky, Justin Dangle, Irene Schmid, Tania D’avignon, Alicia Szendiuch, Zina Kondratiuk, Elizabeth Ames, Peri Onipede, Susan Fenno, Mark Tomlinson, Daniel Bilak, Frank Sysyn, Paul Kenney, Edward Dawson, Mary Ann Nelson, Michael Novack, Mario Inganni, Theo and Annemarie Compernolle, John Khoury, John Boatright, Robert Woods, Robert Cordek, Carl Gage, Thomas and Rachel Claflin, Thomas Ebrey, Nicholas Robinson, Michele Perrault, Lidia Wolanskj, Micheal McCloskey, Patricia Scharlin, Bruce Hamilton, Whit Knapp, Peter Jeton, Sue and Frank Wellington, Bill Baldwin, Jaroslav Kinach, Andriy Masiuk, Katherine Adler, John Zamecnik, William Flemer, Barry Wendell, Valeriy Schekaturov, Kanako Sekine, Abby Sobel, Victoria Vyshenska, Victor Pynzenyk, Bill Hamilton, Lesia Haliv, Osaro Isokpan, Marcel Yondo, Boris Balan, Roman Matkiwsky, Steven Bavaria, Denis Hamboyan, Barbara Neachtain, Annie Crawley, Jerry Bird, Bruce Share, Eduardo Alvarez, Pam Knutson, Frank and Donna Urbia, Piroska Soos, Yuriy Strygun, and Vitaly and Galina Sokirko. Without their stories and memories of my parents, this book would not have been possible. They were generous with their time and ideas and gave me an incredible gift.
Hillary Shugrue Paquette, Tanya Charnis, Alex Runne, Nicole Markoff, Sarah Masters, Maria Biber-Ferro, Tina Darling, Leo Beletsky, Monica Beletsky, Sarah Cohen, Christopher Abraham, Meredith Wu, Eleni Gage, Yng-Ru Chen, Devin Gordon, Gregg Murphy, Madeleine Merchant, Christopher John Williams, Michael Francis Craft, Justin Bergman, Axel Barragan, my Macdowell crew, Stephanie Diani, and Mark Hewko are amazing humans. I am forever grateful for their friendship and all they’ve brought to my life.
I learned the importance of family during the years it took me to write this book. Alexandra, Lana, Arlene, Christine, Larissa, Gene, Natalie, Susie, Wendy, Raj, Naveen, and Toshi answered hundreds of questions, fed me, housed me, shouldered burdens on my behalf, and barely flinched when I first told them what I was up to. My family is incredible, and I am so lucky to have them.
Anya Yurchyshyn’s writing has appeared in Esquire, Granta, N+1, and Noon and was included in The Best Small Fictions 2015. She received her MFA from Columbia University.
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My Dead Parents Page 28