Well, that was a loaded question. Okay? Not even a little. But I didn’t think that was what he was asking. At least, not yet.
“I’m fine. Really. It’s just been a while. And you’re uh, well, not small.”
His lips quirked into a smile, and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at the male pride I saw in his expression.
Yes, he had a big dick. And, apparently, he knew how to use it. And his mouth. And his hands. And now my breasts were heavy again, and I wanted to press my thighs together to relieve the ache.
Damn him.
Damn all of this.
“I’ll be right back,” he said as he tucked himself back into his jeans and presumably went off to get a towel or something. I wasn’t a hundred percent sure why since he had perfectly good kitchen towels right there, but I had never had kitchen sex before. Maybe one had to clean themselves off in the bathroom and not in the kitchen. Perhaps I should simply run away and forget this ever happened.
But as I tried to slide my way off the counter, considering I wasn’t wearing anything but the panties he had shoved to the side, I wasn’t sure if I would be able to leave at all. Because I didn’t know where he had tossed my bra after we’d moved our pile of clothes. And I needed that.
Plus, I knew if I ran away, we’d still have to talk about this. Or say it was fun and never happen again, or shout and yell at each other. Something. Maybe the latter would be the best option. We’d get everything out of our systems and wouldn’t have to talk about it again.
I searched around the kitchen until I found my bra hanging over the bar chair and winced as I reached over to put it on.
“Wait a minute,” Jacob said before bringing a towel towards me. He moved slowly as if afraid I’d bolt, and I didn’t blame him. He pushed my hair off my shoulder and brushed my lips with his thumb. “Hey,” he said.
“Hey,” I whispered.
And then he slid the warm towel between my legs, and I groaned, my hands digging into his arms, not having even realized I had moved up to hold him.
“I know you’re sore. I just wanted to take care of you.”
I closed my eyes, letting out a breath as he painstakingly took care of me and then helped me dress.
It was the sweetest and most erotic thing that anyone had ever done for me.
And we were still standing in his kitchen.
Afterward, when we were both dressed, he handed me a glass of water, neither of us speaking as we drank.
“So,” he began.
“So,” I repeated.
“I didn’t mean for that to happen,” he said, and I flinched. I hadn’t meant to, but I hated that phrase. It sounded as if he already regretted it. I hadn’t even had time to process what had just happened, at least not enough to regret it.
He shook his head quickly, reached out, and brushed his thumb along my lips again.
I wanted to lick that digit, suck it into my mouth, but I didn’t.
There was no time for that. And it wouldn’t help me think.
“I was saying I didn’t expect that, hadn’t planned on it. Because I never let myself think about you in that way.”
My eyes widened. “Let yourself?”
“You were younger than me when we knew each other before. Young enough that it would have been improper as hell for me to want you beyond thinking you were cute.”
“Oh.”
He smiled, and it did wonderful and far too alluring things to his eyes. “Yeah, oh. And then you were hanging out with my brother, and I figured you two were together.”
“Never, um…not in the way you think.” I quickly shook my head.
“He would’ve told me if you had,” he said, and I blushed.
“Yes, he probably would have.”
“And then later, we were going in two separate directions, and I hated you as much as I hated myself.”
My head shot up. “What?”
“I told myself I hated you so I wouldn’t have to think about what I was missing, who I was missing. I was wrong, and I’m going to spend a hell of a lot of time trying to make it up to you.”
I quickly shook my head. “You don’t need to make up for anything. You’ve already done enough.”
His gaze went to the counter where we’d just had sex, and I blushed even harder.
“That’s not what I meant.”
“I know, but I like the way you blush.”
I groaned and licked my lips. “Jacob, like you said, I didn’t expect that either.”
“You’re right. Neither of us did. And I don’t know what’s going to happen next, but I’m glad it happened.”
My eyes widened. “You’re glad?”
He shrugged, then drained his glass of water before putting it in the sink. “I don’t know. I feel like we’ve been dancing around each other for the past couple of weeks. Or maybe I’m losing my mind.”
I bit my lip. “Well, we did dance.”
He smirked. “Yeah, we did.”
“I just…I’m not sure us being in a relationship is smart. Especially with everything that has happened between us in the past and what might happen in the future with your family.”
His eyes clouded over, and I hated that I’d brought it up. But he had moved here for his mother, and I was still part of their lives because I loved them.
We were both slowly watching a woman we loved fade away. It was devastating, achingly painful, and there was no fixing it.
“You’re right. There is an attraction, though.”
“Yes. I mean, I wouldn’t have done that with you if I wasn’t attracted.”
He smiled, making him look even more handsome, and I kind of hated him for it. “I’m not looking for anything serious, Annabelle,” he said, his voice low. “And I know we probably should have talked about that before we did what we just did. We probably should have talked about a lot of things. But I didn’t only come here for my mother.”
I frowned. “I thought that’s why you moved back to Fort Collins.”
He nodded. “That was part of it. But I needed a fresh start. My divorce has only been final for a few months.”
I blinked and nearly staggered back at the nonexistent blow. I didn’t know why it felt like one in the first place. “You were married?” I asked. “Your parents never mentioned it.”
He grimaced. “I don’t think they liked Susan.”
“So they just ignored the fact you were married? That doesn’t sound like the couple I know.”
He sighed. “They were always nice to her, and there’s even a picture of our wedding in their bedroom in that little nook area.”
“I haven’t ever been in there,” I added.
“It’s Mom’s sanctuary, so there are family photos in there.” He paused. “There’s a photo of your wedding, too.”
I winced, my heart aching. “I have one in my home also.”
“There’s a photo of you around here somewhere. Mom and Dad gave it to me, and I didn’t have the heart to throw it away. It was Jonah, you know?” He looked around as I thought on that more. “I haven’t finished unpacking. Don’t have everything on the walls yet. As I said, I’m starting over. Susan and I didn’t work out. For a lot of reasons. And my parents were right. We didn’t fit, but I tried. Maybe a little too hard. But I’m finally figuring out what I want, and a serious relationship isn’t it.”
I shrugged and looked down at my hands. “Same for me.”
His gaze shot to mine as I looked up. “Really?”
“Really. Not every woman wants marriage and babies and a white picket fence. I can build my own fence if I want to. I can design the best house to live in. Alone. In fact, I already did. I got married too young, and now every time I imagine a wedding or marriage or something like that when I’m part of it, I think of Jonah.”
He flinched. “Damn.”
“Yes. Damn. It’s silly, and it shouldn’t happen, but I don’t know… I don’t know if I ever want anything serious. I love my job, and I’m good at
it, and I’m focusing most of my attention on that right now. And my family.” I paused. “And I’ll be honest, I’m not very good at the whole relationship thing anyway.”
“Well, as evidenced by my divorce, neither am I,” he said dryly. He looked at me then, and I didn’t know what else to say. “So, are we saying that we’re going to walk away from this and continue being neighbors who try to be friends? Or what?”
“Or what maybe,” I paused. “I don’t know what I want, Jacob. But I had fun,” I teased.
His eyes lightened. Thankfully. “So did I.” A pause. “Maybe we can try this thing out. You and me. Nothing serious, only friends, finding fun. And perhaps a little peace.”
My heart lightened at that because I did have fun. And I hadn’t been lying to him. I didn’t want anything serious. But the idea of maybe having someone to talk to, someone to be with where it wasn’t just me alone in my bedroom all the time sounded nice.
“Would we ever go out on a date?” I asked, not knowing why I needed to broach the subject.
He frowned, and I winced.
“Okay, no dating.”
He shook his head. “No, but I don’t know the rules for this. I dated a lot in high school and college, but then I found Susan, and we got married. I haven’t dated as an adult with a job and a house. I don’t know how it works.”
That made me laugh. “I don’t know either. I’m pretty much a hermit. The only times I ever go out are with my family and the girls when they get time off. And you’ve seen my brothers, they scare away any potential suitors.”
“They didn’t scare me away.”
I swallowed hard. “No, I think we scared ourselves enough for that.”
That made him laugh. “You’re right. As for dating? I could see us going out to eat, doing something like that. Maybe going to the bar and annoying your brothers.”
I snorted. “Oh, please, you could not handle all of the Montgomerys.”
That made him scowl. “I’m sure I can.”
“Famous last words. However, maybe one night. Who knows? We’ll just keep it breezy.” I laughed. “Or something less clichéd.”
“That we can do.”
He stepped forward, slid his thumb over my lips again, and then leaned down to capture my mouth. I moaned, my hands going to his waist, fingers slipping through his belt loops.
“I should go,” he whispered. “Even though it’s my house, I need to go take a cold shower or something. If I don’t, I’m not going to get any more work done today.”
I stepped away on shaky legs and grinned. “Then I’m going to leave to get my work done. Maybe I’ll see you around.”
“Maybe I’ll see you,” he said. I turned and left, wondering what the hell I was doing. I was not good at this, but I didn’t know if I was terrible at it yet either. It was new, something I’d never done before.
I pulled out my phone as I walked to my house, taking my tools with me.
Me: Girls, I need help—orange alert.
A red alert would mean that I needed them over. Orange alert meant that I needed to talk to them.
Eliza: Are you okay? What happened?
Brenna: Does it have to do with that hottie from the bar?
That made me laugh as I walked into the house, putting everything away.
Me: I had sex with Jacob Queen in his kitchen, and now we’ve decided to do a friends-with-benefits thing.
Eliza: !!!.
Brenna: How was it?
Brenna: Was it big?
Brenna: I’m coming over.
I laughed, sank down into my couch, and looked at my phone.
Me: I have work to do, and so do you. And Eliza is waiting on a call from her hubby. We’ll meet up tomorrow as planned.
Eliza: You’re right, but I will have questions. I’ll even make a checklist about it. But are you okay?
I thought about that and bit my lip.
Me: I think so. It just sort of happened.
Brenna: I hear that’s the best way.
I grinned, shaking my head. Eliza was married, the one who still had a little bit of her wild side but had smoothed out the edges when she got with her husband. She was now the calming one on the texts. I knew Brenna had never been in a serious relationship and was a lot of brashness, all wrapped around a soft, gooey center of innocence.
I loved my best friends, and I was relieved that I hadn’t included Paige in this text chain. Mostly because that was my baby sister, and there were things I did not tell her.
Me: We’ll talk tomorrow. But oh my God, I slept with Jacob.
Brenna: I see you didn’t use his last name.
Eliza: It’s because he’s not just the idea of a man anymore. He’s the real deal.
I groaned.
Me: He’s just a deal. Not the real one. Do your things. I’m going to work.
Eliza: Don’t work too hard. And be safe.
Brenna: And make sure you write down every single detail of exactly how it was so you can tell us and not forget a thing.
I laughed, texted my goodbyes, and set my phone down. I hadn’t meant to sleep with Jacob, though there hadn’t been any sleeping going on.
I’d never had sex on a counter before. Never had sex without even a date prior. And I’d certainly never had sex with Jacob.
And now we were going to pretend that everything was normal and maybe do it again.
Somehow, I needed to make like everything was fine. Like I wasn’t emotionally churning inside. And I promised myself that I wasn’t going to screw it up.
I had a feeling that this promise might be one I would end up breaking.
Chapter 10
Jacob
* * *
“Dustin, where is Seressia again?” I asked, rubbing my temples.
“Root canal,” Dustin said, wincing.
I looked up at him and grimaced. “Damn. Is she okay?” I inquired, sympathy pouring through me.
“She’s doing fine, I guess. She texted that she was going to murder someone, but I didn’t know if it was because she had to wait because someone wasn’t competent, or because she was in pain. Probably a mixture of both.”
“We’re running on fumes here,” I said, looking at the piles of papers on my desk as well as the emails adding up, one by one, the dings insistent. I didn’t usually have notifications on, but I was becoming so tunnel-focused on my case, I kept missing important emails. My staff was wonderful, but we were really shorthanded right now, and I knew if I had been able to stay down south for a bit longer, it might not be this bad. But I’d had to come up north when I did and had to bring my crew with me. We were making do, but today was one of those days.
“We’ve got it handled,” Dustin said. “Well, at least I think we do.” The phone rang behind him, and he winced again. “I’ll go take care of that.”
I laughed. I couldn’t help it. “Please. But we’ve got this. It’s almost the end of the day.”
“Thank God,” the other man said, shaking his head, a smile playing on his lips.
I went back to my paperwork and undid my tie. I’d had court all morning, and thankfully we had won that particular case. But I had court all next week, too, and a deposition. I had assumed many of the clients from Richard, a lawyer I knew from school when he came in for guest visits and then finally retired. I had bought into his practice but kept it as mine, even though it felt like I was starting from the ground up in the end.
Richard had all the faith in the world in me. But right now, I didn’t feel like I did.
We were just about at capacity already, and until I got my staff back, we’d be running on those fumes as I had mentioned before. I wasn’t in the mood to take on a partner, but having someone to split the work with might help. At least that’s what I told myself.
“Call on line four,” Dustin called out, and I laughed. He could have sent it straight back with a message, but we were all a little off today, so I didn’t mind.
I picked up the phone and had to push al
l thoughts of stress and other niggling thoughts out of my mind.
“Jacob Queen,” I answered.
“Jacob, you want to head down to Denver tonight? The girls and I are going out. New promotion in the office. They’d love to see you.”
I looked down at the phone and then glared up at the doorway. Dustin’s eyes were wide, his hands moving back and forth.
“Sorry, wrong call,” he mouthed, then scurried back to his desk.
Dustin was usually far better at his job. But with Seressia out of the office, and his mother recovering from heart surgery, he was off. We all were. I had offered to let him take the day off and be with his mom, but she was sleeping now. He had spent the morning with her and was taking the next few days off to help out around the house. For now, she was resting, and everything seemed okay. Still, today was a shitty day, and I was ready to close the doors and let everybody go home so we could sage the office or something.
“Jacob? Are you still there?”
I scowled down at the phone, then sucked in a breath through my teeth. “Hey, Susan. Sorry, we’re a little busy. No, I can’t go down to Denver tonight. I have plans.”
“Plans?” she asked, a little anger in her tone.
I wanted to smack myself upside the head for even mentioning it. I should have just said I didn’t want to go out. But no, instead, I had intrigued her. I had loved Susan once. But, damn it, I hadn’t been the man I needed to be before. That man had tried to love her, had thought he had, but he’d been wrong.
The man I was now didn’t even like her.
“I’m busy,” I said curtly. “And, Susan, we’re divorced. We didn’t even like each other in the end. What are you doing? What do you hope to accomplish with this?”
She was silent for a moment, and I almost felt bad. But she had used her silences as weapons in the past, though I was trying not to think too hard on that.
“I don’t know why you have to be so cruel.”
“Susan. Go out with Bob. With your girls. Celebrate the promotion. I’m not the person to celebrate with. Not anymore. We both signed those papers.”
“I just miss you, Jacob.”
Inked Persuasion: A Montgomery Ink: Fort Collins Novel Page 9