by Portia Moore
“Why do you always do that?” I say, feigning anger, but unfortunately, I enjoy any reason we have to touch.
“I can’t believe I still get you with that.” He chuckles, leaning on the counter and looking at me with a lazy, sexy smile.
I quickly look away and concentrate on the microwave heating up our food. “Potato and bacon soup. I think it turned out okay.” Not to pat myself on the back, but it was delicious last night and smells even better today.
“I’m sure it’s okay,” he says with half smile.
“Okay?” I ask.
He sighs. “Okay, everything you make is finger-licking good.”
He winks, and I turn back toward the microwave, hoping my cheeks haven’t changed colors.
“You seem happy today. Is the job getting better?” he asks, and I shake my head.
“No,” I say with a smile.
He looks at me curiously. “Then what?”
I grab the container of soup and two bowls, and we sit at the little table in the employee lounge. It’s funny how I went from high school student to an employee at a school in a matter of weeks.
“Nothing,” I say secretively.
I see from his expression he’s getting more curious as I pour the soup into our bowls. He’s brooding, eyeing me, and it gives me tingles.
“Come on, what’s up?” he asks, giving me a mischievous grin.
I look up as if I’m contemplating whether or not to tell him, but he knows it’s a ruse. I tell him practically everything—except for what’s most important.
“Zach might be coming to visit,” I say, unable to contain my wide smile.
As soon as I say it, his smile disappears, and he sort of frowns.
I look at him questioningly. “What’s that look for?”
“I don’t see why you still even talk to that guy,” he says, not even trying to mask his disdain.
“He’s my friend,” I say as if it’s obvious.
“A friend who likes to feel you up whenever he feels like it.” He pops a spoonful of soup in his mouth.
“It’s not whenever he feels like it. It’s whenever I feel like it,” I say defensively.
Of course Will and I have talked about this before, and he’s always expressed his disapproval of my relationship with Zach, but he doesn’t understand it. And really, it shouldn’t matter if he understands it or not. The difference today though is that instead of just stating what he thinks, he has an attitude. Like he’s sort of pissed. I know when he’s pissed because he gets that way a lot when he has to do administrative paperwork or when he talks about Gia still not accepting their engagement.
“What’s your problem?” I ask, a little annoyed.
“I don’t have a problem,” he counters, so obviously annoyed.
“It doesn’t seem like it,” I say, taking a spoonful of my own soup.
Then his face softens as if he knows he’s being ridiculous. His blue eyes focus on mine, and my annoyance instantly dissapears. “I just think you deserve better than that. A guy who wants you to be his . . . and not in some twisted friendship.”
His tone is almost intimate, and I grip my spoon tightly. Why does he have to be like that, so . . . so heart-wrenchingly sweet?
“Maybe one day I’ll find a guy like you, Will. Cross your fingers for me,” I say quietly.
The rest of our lunch is quiet and awkward. I don’t understand why he cares so much about what I do with Zach. I don’t insert myself into his and Gia’s business. I don’t tell him that I think he’s stupid for waiting around for her to decide when he’s good enough for her to marry, that so many girls would say yes to him in a heartbeat if he gave them the chance. I want to tell him that one of those girls is right in front of him.
No, that’s crazy. I don’t want to marry Will. That’s going too far. I have feelings for him, I care about him, and I love being around him, but marry . . . what type of a person wants to marry her sister’s almost-fiancé? I guess that’s as bad as wanting to kiss your sister’s almost-fiancé. I swear, there are times, though brief, when I think just for a moment that he has feelings for me too, but thinking like that doesn’t help things.
The awkwardness passes, and we’re back to us—whatever us is. I’d rather have us than nothing even if it’s not exactly everything that I want.
TONIGHT I’M MAKING pork chops with garlic scalloped potatoes and asparagus. Evening is one of my favorite times here. It’s the one time I don’t mind that I’m alone in the house most of the time. In the evening, when I get to cook and turn on the radio and the sun sets, it’s like the house is mine. I’m surprised when I hear the door open and Gia walks in. It’s a Tuesday, and so far Tuesdays are usually her late nights.
“Something smells good,” she sings.
I smile. “It’s going to be. What are you doing home so early?” I check on my roast.
“Class let out early today, believe it or not,” she says as she peeks into the pot I have going.
I shoo her away. She knows I hate when people look in on my dishes.
“And you didn’t stay at the library to study?” I ask, surprised.
“No, I’m going to be there all weekend, studying for this exam next week.” She takes a seat at the table, and I sit across from her. “How’s work going?”
I like how she says work as if my job at the library is a career.
“Another day, another dollar.” I laugh.
“How’s Will?” she asks.
I look at her a little awkwardly. I’m surprised by her question, but I try to play it cool. “Good, I guess. Why would you ask me?”
“He’s just been acting kind of . . .” She grabs a pop out of the fridge.
“Kind of what?” Now my curiosity is piqued.
“I don’t know . . . distant,” she says with a sigh before she sits back down.
“Do you think it’s because you still haven’t said yes to marrying him?” I ask as if it’s obvious.
She shakes her head. “No, I mean, I don’t think so. Will understands my feelings about that.”
Really.
“I think it’s because we haven’t been able to spend that much time together. My schedule is just so crazy right now. It sucks. I wish I had more time for him, but things are just super hectic.” She twists the cap back on her bottle of soda. “The thing is though, I’d think since we haven’t been spending much time together, he’d kind of soak up the opportunity too, right?”
Right then I see a flicker of what might be worry behind her confident façade.
“I think that you should make time for someone you care about before they stop caring,” I say. I defeat the urge to tell her that nothing’s wrong and she’s exaggerating, I won’t be that person. I’m already the person whose feelings I loathe.
“You wouldn’t understand, Gwen. When you’re an adult and you have plans you’ve made, it’s important to stay on track with them. Will should understand that. At least he would if he was a little more driven, a little more of an adult. Sometimes he acts like a kid.”
At that moment, I realize Gia wants Will to be William and she won’t be happy unless he’s exactly that.
“Has he said anything to you?” she says flippantly.
“No.”
“Have you noticed him not being himself lately? Right now you see him more than I do,” she says with a sigh, and I shake my head. She lets out a deep sigh then giggles to herself. “You know, you’re absolutely right Gwen. I have to make more time for him. Do you mind if I pack up some of this and take it over to him? I think I’ll spend the night there.”
I try to force a smile, but I feel as though I’m going to vomit. What is wrong with me?!
“Sure,” I say quietly, and she beams at me.
She kisses my cheek and heads to her bedroom. “I’m going to go shower first. How long will it take for it to be done?”
I swallow hard. “About an hour.” But I feel as though my voice is about to crumble.
I feel as if my puppy just died. I want Gia to be happy, but why does it feel like her happiness is crushing my own? I try to clear the swelling in my throat, and the doorbell rings. I gather myself and go open the door, and my heart nearly jumps out of my chest.
“Hey, brat,” Zach says, standing there looking as sexy and annoying as ever.
I jump into his arms, and he spins me around. “You knew you were coming when you talked to me today!”
“Yeah, I already had my stuff packed. I was waiting for you to call so I could leave,” he says after he puts me down.
“Gwen, who is that?”
“This is my best friend, Zach,” I tell her excitedly as she approaches us.
She gives him a once-over and smirks. “Oh, wow!”
Zach’s look can do that to a girl. He gives her one of his sexy, breath-stopping smiles.
“I remember you. You’re still beautiful as ever,” he says as I pull him into the house and shut the door.
Gia’s face reddens. He’s wearing a black knitted cap over his long black curls and a grey sweater with skulls all over it. I wouldn’t say he’s even remotely close to Gia’s type, but Zach’s looks and disarming attitude would definitely qualify him for a roll in the hay. Not that I could see Gia ever doing that type of thing.
“Thank you, come have a seat.” She gestures toward the living room.
He follows us and sits on her couch, setting his backpack between his legs. I sit next to him, and when he pulls my leg over his and massages it, Gia’s eyes widen. Zach doesn’t notice.
“How long are you staying?” I ask, squeezing his hand.
“I only got two nights off, so I’ll be headed back after that,” he says in his slow, dragging tone.
“Where are you staying?” I ask. I know he doesn’t know anyone here but me.
“Maybe a motel or something.” He shrugs.
“No, that wouldn’t make sense. You can stay here!”
Gia clears her throat, and Zach’s and my eyes fall on her.
“Umm, can you excuse us one minute, Zach?” She gestures for me to follow her to her bedroom.
I kiss his cheek before following her. She’s all smiles until we’re in her bedroom with the door closed.
“He can’t stay here, Gwen,” she says indignantly, and I frown at her.
“Why not?”
“Because he’s a guy, I don’t know him, and you two can’t keep your hands off each other,” she says as if it’s obvious.
“That’s so unfair! He’s my friend. Our relationship is a little unique, but if you’re worried about us getting it on, that’s not happening. But even if it was, I’m an adult. I’m not a little girl, and isn’t this my house too?” I ask indignantly.
She sighs and runs her hand over her face. “Mom wouldn’t like it.”
“Who the hell cares what Mom thinks? Gia, I live with you. I’m not a houseguest. I moved here so that I could have freedom, not be treated like a little kid.”
She lets out a gruff sigh and shakes her head. “He can stay at Will’s. That’s the best I can do,” she says with a huff.
I feel myself turning red. “He can’t stay at Will’s. Will hates him.”
She looks perplexed. “Why would Will hate him? Has he ever even met Zach?”
“No, it’s just . . . maybe some of the things Will knows about him,” I say guiltily.
She squints at me, and for a moment, I swear she sees through me, right into my guilty little soul, that she sees every thought I’ve had about her boyfriend, and she’s going to haul back and slap me into tomorrow. Actually no, Gia’s not like that, but she’d have every right. But she just shrugs, and I relax.
“I’ll call Will and set everything up. We can all have dinner over there tonight,” she says, and before I can answer, she storms out the room.
Ugh! I go back out, and Zach’s sitting with his feet up on her coffee table. Gia would love that. I knock them off.
“What’s your problem?” He chuckles.
“Apparently I’m still sixteen and need permission for boys to come into my room,” I say sarcastically.
He laughs, a deep chuckle that I’ve missed, then he rubs the top of my head, making my hair look crazy.
“Stop being a brat,” he says as I push him away.
“How am I being a brat? I live here. I’d like my friend, you, to stay, and she won’t let you. I might as well be living back at home, asking permission for things.”
Zach is calm as ever. “Well, I kinda am some strange guy she doesn’t know, and she probably knows that if I stay, we’re going to make out, and I’m pretty sure your check is as pathetic as mine and can’t pay even one utility bill, meaning big sis is still in charge.”
I pout. I hate when he makes sense. “It’s still not fair.”
“I got a couple of bucks to stay at a motel—a really bad one.” He chuckles.
“Oh no, she’s going to get Will to let you stay at his place,” I say bitterly.
“Cool, more money for us to party tonight,” he says with a nudge and mischievous smile.
My eyes widen in excitement. Lord knows I need to let loose a little. Before I can ask him about it, Gia’s back in the room.
“Okay, Zach, if you don’t mind, my boyfriend would love for you to stay at his place. I was thinking we can all have dinner there, then you and Gwen can have the whole day together after she gets off work,” Gia says brightly.
I roll my eyes.
Zach only says, “Cool.”
I’VE ONLY BEEN to Will’s house once, and it was brief. Gia had left a book she needed, and we stopped to pick it up on our way home from work, and I had to go to the bathroom. Will’s house is closer to the city than Gia’s, and it’s in a big apartment building with five floors and a doorman.
“Classy,” Zach whispers into my ear as Gia greets the doorman by name.
“Can you try to be nice?” I whisper as we walk a few feet behind Gia.
“I’m always on my best behavior,” he says sarcastically.
I eye him, calling him out on his BS. His eyebrow arches.
“What do you care about my behavior? You didn’t even care what impression I made on your mom,” he says suspiciously.
I avoid his questioning glare.
“Come on, guys,” Gia says as she holds open the elevator.
When we make it to Will’s floor, we see his door is already open. We walk in, and Gia calls his name while shutting the door.
“This is kick ass,” Zach says as he looks around the apartment.
Being at Will’s apartment is the only time I’m reminded that Will does indeed come from money. He has a big screen TV and a pool table. His kitchen is bigger than Gia’s, and he even has a dining room.
He appears from his bedroom, his hair wet. He must have just gotten out of the shower. He has on a short-sleeved T-shirt that clings to him, revealing his sculpted arms and giving me a better view of the tattoo on his arm—it’s a moon with clouds around it. I’ve seen pieces of it, but this is the most revealing look yet. My eyes run over his stomach. I think he may have six-pack underneath that shirt, and I feel my body temperature rise.
“Hey, guys.” Will’s eyes drift over to Zach, and he gives him a once-over.
Gia gives him a quick kiss on the cheek. “This is Gwen’s friend Zach.”
I hate that she didn’t let me introduce him. She heads to the kitchen to put the food on the table as Will approaches Zach and me. He gives us a tight smile and sticks out his hand. Zach gives him a tense handshake.
“What’s up?” Zach says nonchalantly.
For some reason, it seems as if there’s tension between them. Zach wears his smug grin, and Will gives him an “I call bullshit” glare. These two will be awesome roommates.
AS WE SIT at the table and eat, the room is quiet and seems a little chilly. Zach and Will’s attitudes toward each other haven’t changed, and I’m still sort of pissed at Gia, who seems oblivious or just doesn’t care. Wil
l and I have exchanged a few glances, and I feel annoyance and disapproval radiating from him.
“So, Zach, are you in school?” Gia asks, trying to strike up a conversation.
“Nah, school’s not for me. I only finished high school because my parents would have kicked me out if I didn’t,” he says before putting a spoonful of mashed potatoes in his mouth.
“So what’re your plans going forward?” she asks.
Zach shrugs. “I like to take things as they come.”
If Zach was my boyfriend and I cared about things like impressing people, I’d be absolutely mortified, but since he’s my friend and I couldn’t care less what Gia thinks, I’m not as uncomfortable as I could be.
“Oh.” Gia sounds a little puzzled. Anyone who doesn’t have their entire future mapped out is puzzling to her.
“So you guys getting married?” Zach asks, looking at her engagement or promise ring. Leave it to Zach to ask the most awkward question in the room.
“The date isn’t exactly set as of yet,” I answer for Gia since she’s been answering for me all night.
“So you and Gwen are just friends?” Will asks, sarcasm evident in his voice.
I feel my stomach flip. What the hell is he doing?
“Really good friends,” Zach says, his eyes narrowing on Will with a teasing smirk.
Will’s jaw clenches. Zach has a way of reading people and homing in on the one thing that grates on their nerve. I have no idea why he’s choosing to grate on the nerves of the guy he’s staying with, but I shoot Will a glare to drop it.
“These pork chops are amazing, Gwen,” Gia interrupts.
“Yeah, brat, you can really cook. I thought you just made good brownies,” Zach says.
I can’t help but laugh. Will’s face is hard like stone . . . geesh.
“I love her brownies. They are so good,” Gia says, clueless.
“Yeah, Gwen’s brownies are special,” Zach says again, smirking at me.
“Cool it. Nobody’s stupid here,” Will says, his tone cold. He’s staring at Zach, who raises his hands in a truce with a laugh.