by Laura Kaye
“You lied?” she asked in a small voice. The whole world narrowed to the space between them.
He nodded, just once. “I’m sorry.”
“What does that mean?” Because what she thought it meant was too freaking important to guess at.
Noah looked her right in the eye for a long moment, and then he said, “That I love you. That I’m in love with you. And I’m only sorry that I figured it all out too late.”
“No,” she said, shaking her head. Kristina couldn’t hold back the sob when it threatened this time. She was trembling and a little dizzy and quite possibly dreaming, because the man she loved had just told her he loved her, too. “Oh, Noah.”
“Oh, God, please don’t cry. Damnit, I knew I was going to fuck this up.” He gently grasped her face in both of his hands and swiped at her tears with his thumbs.
“Not…not too late,” she finally whispered through her tears. “I still love you. I never stopped. I don’t think I ever could.”
Noah’s eyes went wide as saucers. It would’ve been almost comical if the wonder on his face hadn’t been so damn beautiful. “Wait. You still…love me? After everything?”
She pressed onto tiptoes and threaded her arms around his neck. “Noah, I will always love you.”
“Aw, Jesus,” he said, his arms banding around her tight and his forehead pressing against hers.
“I love you,” she said as warm joy rushed over her and through her until she was nearly bursting with it.
“Oh, thank God,” he said. And then he kissed her. Softly at first. Tentatively. Just a feather-light press of skin on skin. “Is this okay? Can I—”
“Yes. More than okay,” she whispered, trembling in joy and need and more than a little disbelief.
He kissed her harder then, deeper, like he couldn’t get enough of her. Kristina was absolutely okay with that, because he would never have to.
Long minutes passed, and then Noah broke the kiss. “I never expected…” He shook his head. “You love me.” He said it with such aching wonder in his voice.
“Yes. No matter if you’re wearing one of these masks or some other, my heart will always and only ever know yours. That’s the way it’s always been, and it’s the only way I ever want it to be. I love you, Noah.”
“I love you, too, baby,” he whispered. “And I’ll never get tired of hearing you say that.” Those now bright dark eyes blazed with desire and devotion and love.
And, God, it was such a different look on him. This…utter lightness, this newfound happiness. He wasn’t the old Noah, he was totally new. Scars and all, she loved him even more for all he’d gone through to come back to himself, back to her. “Good,” she managed, her throat so tight with emotion.
“Damnit, I can’t believe I’m getting to say all this. I never even dared to hope. But I love you and you own me, Kristina. You own every part of me. Everything I am or will be. Everything is yours.”
She stroked her hand against his hair, her heart so full she was sure her chest couldn’t contain it. “Then that’s all I’ll ever need. Because you’re everything I’ve ever wanted. And I will fight this fight with you. Always.”
“Always,” he said, nodding. “And I’ll never lie to you again, Kris. I promise you here and now. I’m going to have bad days. And I’m going to make mistakes. And I’m sure I’ll still fuck things up from time to time.” They both grinned, so caught up in this moment, this joy, each other. “But I’m in this with you. And I want you in this with me.”
“I am. But I need you to know. I don’t want perfect, Noah. I just want my best friend. I just want you. The rest we’ll make up as we go.”
“Better fucking believe it,” Noah said, a smile so pure on his face that it was like the sun coming out from behind the clouds. Kristina laughed, so filled with awe about the way this evening had gone. She’d dreaded coming to Josh’s wedding, dreaded seeing Noah.
Now, here she was with him, finding more than she ever thought possible, finding everything. And willing to fight through anything to make sure they never lost it again.
Epilogue
The row of picnic tables was piled high with burgers and dogs, beer and soda, chips and salads. It was his parents’ annual Labor Day party, and Noah was right in the middle of it.
Better yet, he had his girl at his side and his new friends from WFC and his art class all around him—Mo, Mack, Jarvis, Riddick, and about a half dozen others from the club.
Well, they didn’t feel new anymore, not when they’d collectively been responsible for saving Noah’s life. With some people, it was like that. You might not have known them long, but their impact was immediate, fundamental, and lasting.
Sitting on his good side, Kristina leaned in with a smile. “How you doing?”
He nuzzled her cheek, finding the solace in her company that he always did. Always had, even before he realized everything she meant to him. “Never better. At least, not in a long damn time.”
“Yeah?” she whispered, heat slipping into her eyes. “Well maybe I could make you feel just a little better?”
“Mmm, tell me more,” he said with a chuckle. For a moment, he got lost in their sweet words and stolen touches until the madness around them all but faded away.
Something hit him in the head. “What the hell?” Noah said, startling as a hot dog bun rolled into his lap. The whole table erupted into laughter.
Mo sat there grinning like an idiot. “You weren’t hearing me, son. Had to get your attention somehow.”
Laughing, Noah gestured to his left side. “Deaf over here, remember?”
With a smirk, Mo shook his head. “You have two damn ears, remember? The real problem is that other organs are stealing all the blood meant for your brain.” He winked at Kristina, who started chuckling, especially as the peanut gallery’s commentary flew around the table. Damn lovable assholes.
“You too, baby? You’re supposed to be on my side.” He leaned toward her as she laughed, his mouth zeroing in on her neck. He knew attacking that spot on her had the power to make her very agreeable to his desires. A discovery he loved using to his advantage. Again and again.
Really, though, Noah didn’t mind their friends’ teasing. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed the camaraderie of the military until he hadn’t had it anymore. Warrior Fight Club had given that back to him, along with so much else.
Kristina chuckled and squirmed. “Of course, I’m on your side. But that doesn’t make the look on your face when that roll hit you any less funny.”
“See, I knew I liked this girl,” Mo said.
Noah scowled at the big guy. “You know I’m gonna take your ass down next time we’re in the cage.”
Mo looked totally unconcerned. “You can always try. Anyway, your dad was calling you.”
Noah had just started to search for his father in the crowd when a hand settled on his shoulder. He looked up to find his father staring down at him. “Your friend Billy just arrived. He had to take a call, though, so he’s using my office. Seemed like…I don’t know, maybe he was a little upset.”
“Thanks, Dad,” Noah said, already rising. He gave Kristina’s hand a squeeze. “Be right back. I’m gonna go check on him.” He and Billy hadn’t spent a lot of time together outside of Full Contact, in part because Billy’s private investigation work meant he often kept odd hours, but they were frequent sparring partners because they were pretty evenly matched in skill and speed.
Elias nodded, his gaze full of pride and contentment as he took in the big, rowdy group of Noah’s friends. It was the first time since he’d come home from war that Noah had brought people around. “Can I bring anyone anything else?” his dad asked.
As he rounded the table, Noah couldn’t help but think how different his parents’ Labor Day party was for him. Almost four months ago, he’d stood at the edge of their Memorial Day cookout. More observer than participant. More ghost than real.
No more. Now he had friends, a community, a close
r relationship with his family than ever before. He had a new job starting in a few weeks working for the Transportation Security Administration as a bomb appraisal officer at Reagan National Airport. He had his health, which was getting better everyday.
And he had his girl. His Kristina. And some plans for her of the forever kind.
“Coming with you,” Mo said, joining Noah as he made his way into the house. “Something’s been bothering Parrish lately.”
They found Billy sitting on the couch in Elias’s study, his head in his hands. Noah and Mo exchanged a glance, and Noah closed the door behind them.
“Hey, man. Everything okay?” Noah asked.
Billy gave a shake of his head, then met their gazes for just a moment before he looked away. The man’s eyes were glassy, and dread settled into Noah’s gut. “Got some bad news.”
Noah sat beside him, while Mo settled into the desk chair off to the side. “What’s going on?” Mo asked in that deep, soft voice he had.
“Buddy of mine got hurt in an op two weeks ago. Didn’t look good.” Billy shook his head, his gaze trained out the window. “Just found out he didn’t make it.”
“Aw, hell, B,” Mo said. A rock slid into Noah’s gut. There wasn’t a day that went by that he didn’t think of the friends he’d lost.
Johnson. Kendrick. Martinez. Fender. Smythe. Khan. Stein…
And Noah knew how each and every loss took a little piece of you with it. They all did.
“I’m sorry to hear it, Billy. Someone you served with?” Noah asked.
Billy nodded. “Yeah. Came up through West Point together. A real smart-ass motherfucker.” The chuckle he gave was full of memories and pain. “Do anything for anyone though, you know? Fuck.”
Mo crossed the room to the other man and clasped him on the shoulder. “Come on. Won’t do you no good being alone right now. Get some eats or at least a drink. Plus, Kristina’s friend Kate is here and she’s a cutie.”
Making a visible effort to square himself away, Billy rose. “Yeah, well, I’m not sure how many cuties are in my immediate future, since on that call my asshole of a best friend also asked me to take in his baby sister for a few weeks ‘til she finds a place of her own. And it’s not like I can say no to one of my brothers, you know?”
“Dude, you definitely need a drink, then,” Mo said.
“Maybe she’ll be a cutie, too,” Noah said, trying to help the guy out.
“Bite your tongue, Cortez. That girl has got to be, like, a hundred years younger than me and ten kinds of off limits,” Billy said, humor starting to return to his voice. They laughed.
“Then Mo’s right. Alcohol, stat,” Noah said.
They headed out and rejoined the others. Food and beer and conversation flowed for hours, until the hanging lanterns came on and the sun set over the big back yard.
Boom. Poppoppop. Boom!
Noah flinched, caught off guard even though he’d known there would be fireworks tonight.
His heart beat triple-time as Kristina squeezed his hand. “Sure you want to stay?” she asked.
He heaved a breath and swallowed down the knee-jerk anxiety that tried to climb up his throat. Noise-canceling headphones had gotten him through the Fourth of July, but tonight, he’d wanted to try. He’d gained a shit-ton of insight into the way his mind worked now, and he’d come a million miles over the past few months. But he was still on the journey, and maybe always would be.
So instead of leaving, he focused on his breathing, on keeping himself grounded in the real world, on remaining in the here and now. With all these people who cared about him, and about whom he cared in return. “I think I’ve got this.”
“I know you do,” Kristina said, kissing him.
Everyone shifted in their seats to get good views of the bursts of color lighting up the September night.
Noah settled between Kristina’s legs and rested his back against her front. She wrapped her arms around him, her firm embrace helping to hold him together when he couldn’t quite manage it himself.
And that was the moment he knew the truth down into his very soul. “I want to stay right here,” he said, peering up at her. “In your arms. Because this is right where I’m supposed to be.”
The Warrior Fight Club Series Continues!
Fighting for What’s His - Coming August 7, 2018
Preorder Now!
Resisting her only makes him want her more...
Private investigator Billy Parrish’s is good at three things—fighting, investigating, and sex. MMA training with the other vets in the Warrior Fight Club keeps his war-borne demons at bay—mostly, and one night stands ensure no one gets too close. But then his best friend from the Army Rangers calls in a favor.
Shayna Curtis is new to town, fresh out of grad school, and full of hope for the future. With a new job starting in a month, she’s grateful when her brother arranges a place for her to stay while she apartment hunts. But she never expected her roommate to be so brooding. Or so sexy.
Billy can’t wait for Shay to leave—because the longer she’s there, the more he wants her in his bed. To stay. He can’t have her—that much he knows. But when fight club stops taking off the edge, Billy lets down his guard…and starts fighting for what’s his.
Fighting the Fire - Coming Fall 2018
The more they fight, the more desire consumes them...
There’s only one thing firefighter Sean Riddick doesn’t like about Warrior Fight Club, and that’s Daniela England, the sexiest, snarkiest, most irritating woman he’s ever known. But MMA training keeps the Navy vet grounded, so Sean’s not about to give it up, no matter how many times he goes toe to toe with Dani—or how bad he wants to take her to the mats.
A former Army nurse and the widow of a fallen soldier, Dani is done with the military and with military men. Fight club is the only thing that eases her nightmares, which means she has to put up with Riddick. He might be sex on a stick, but he’s infuriating and everything she’s vowed to avoid.
But when a crisis throws Sean and Dani together, all that fight bursts into a night of red-hot passion. Now they’re addicted to the heat and must decide if the one person they’ve most resisted might be exactly what they’ve both been looking for.
Worth Fighting For - March 2019
A crossover story with Kristen Proby’s Big Sky Series - now available for preorder!
Getting in deep has never felt this good…
Commercial diving instructor Tara Hunter nearly lost everything in an accident that resulted in her medical discharge from the navy. With the help of the Warrior Fight Club, she’s fought to overcome her fears and get back in the water where she’s always felt most at home. At work, she’s tough, serious, and doesn’t tolerate distractions. Which is why finding her gorgeous one-night stand on her new dive team is such a problem.
Former navy deep-sea diver Jesse Anderson just can’t seem to stop making mistakes—the latest being the hot-as-hell night he’d spent with his new partner. This job is his second chance, and Jesse knows he shouldn’t mix business with pleasure. But spending every day with Tara’s smart mouth and sexy curves makes her so damn hard to resist.
Joining a wounded warrior MMA training program seems like the perfect way to blow off steam—until Jesse finds that Tara belongs, too. Now they’re getting in deep and taking each other down day and night, and even though it breaks all the rules, their inescapable attraction might just be the only thing truly worth fighting for.
Acknowledgments
A lot of wonderful people helped bring Fighting for Everything to life. First, big shoutouts to Liz Berry, Jillian Stein, and Tessa Bailey for reading and loving an early version of this book. Their encouragement came right when I needed it most! Second, thanks to Lea Nolan, Christi Barth, and Stephanie Dray for cheerleading me through the writing, editing, and production of this book - you ladies know everything you’ve done for me and I appreciate it so much!
Next, I have to thank my agent, Kevan Ly
on, for loving and believing in Noah and Kristina’s story. Your support kept me going and bolstered my belief that these wounded warriors needed to have their stories told one way or the other! Thanks next to Franci Neill for making the story shine and helping me with all the little details that help launch a book into the world. Finally, thanks to KP Simmon, a friend and colleague I’m so lucky to have at my side and behind my books. And finally, thank you to my Original Heroes and Reader Girls for all the amazing support and encouragement - you guys rock!
Noah’s story was most directly inspired by two real-world stories and a personal experience: First, the 2014 NPR story, “First Rule of this Fight Club: You Must Be a Veteran,” which detailed an organization called P.O.W., which stands for Pugilistic Offensive Warrior, a mixed martial arts training session that's free for veterans. And, second, a National Geographic story called “Behind the Masks: Revealing the Trauma of War,” which displayed masks made by veterans in art therapist Melissa Walker’s classes at Walter Reed (search for that title to see pictures of the masks). Both led me to thinking about how important alternate therapies are for veterans for whom more traditional talk therapy doesn’t work. Additionally, I suffered a traumatic brain injury in 2008, and it’s something I’ve explored in my characters several times. So from all of that, Noah’s story in Fighting for Everything was born, as was the entire Warrior Fight Club series.
I hope these stories mean as much to you as they mean to me to write, and I thank you for taking my characters into your heart and letting tell my stories again and again. ~LK
About the Author