I peel into the parking lot of Jess’ apartment building, and rush up the stairs. I’m out of breath by the time I get there. The door is locked, so I use my key.
“Jess,” I yell, bursting inside. I don’t see her immediately, so I start looking around. Her bedroom is empty. So is the bathroom.
Where the fuck is she? Have they gotten to her?
I stand in the kitchen and call her phone. I plead with her to pick up. We don’t have any time to waste. While the phone rings in my ear, I hear her ringtone. It’s coming from the couch in the living room.
My stomach drops with dread. There’s her phone, sandwiched between the couch cushions. The screen is lit up, flashing my name.
“Fuck,” I yell, slinging my phone across the room.
I sit on the couch, trying to think. I remember our last conversation. When I rushed out of the apartment, I left her a little pissed. Maybe she went for a walk, and she’ll be back soon.
Or maybe, Salvatore got to her before I did.
I hear the creaking of a door. I whirl around, looking behind me. Jess is emerging from the linen closet in the hallway. I jump up and run towards her, calling her name.
“Jess, we have to get out of here. Pack your bags. Now.”
I stop dead in my tracks when I see the look in her eyes. Her eyes are hollow and vacant. Her jaw is tight. She raises her arm slowly, and I come face to face with my 9mm. I keep my eyes on her, and raise my arms, showing her my palms.
“Jess, put the gun down,” I say evenly. “We need to talk-“
“You killed Jake,” she screams. The gun trembles in her hands. Her finger is poised over the trigger.
“Hey, whoa.” I take a careful step forward. “Where is this coming from?”
“Stay the fuck back,” she warns. “You killed Jake. Don’t try to deny it. I heard everything. Sal said you killed him. And then you went inside and killed your friend.”
My muscles tense. My mind races, trying to figure a way out of this.
“You were there?”
“Yes,” Jess hisses. “I was there. Do you think I’d let you lie to me? I knew that story about Anthony was bullshit. I followed you, and hid in the alley with the dumpsters.”
I nod, raking my fingers through my hair. “If you were there, then you know why I killed Matt. So they wouldn’t kill you.”
Jess raises the gun higher. “Why did Jake have to die?”
“He blew up our construction racket after talking to an LA Times reporter,” I explain, as calmly as I can. “He was a rat. You know the policy with rats. They have to die. It’s how we protect our business. I was just following orders.”
Jess sneers, shaking her head, her breath fierce. “Your precious orders. Your infallible honor. You kill a man you don’t know because Monty tells you to. And that makes you, what, noble?”
I take another step towards her, leveling my gaze at her. “Jake got what was coming to him. He should’ve known better than to fuck with the Mariano’s.”
“You blew half of his head off,” Jess says. “You sewed his lips shut. You’re a monster.”
“You know what this business is like. You’ve seen it. It’s kill or be killed.”
Jess tightens her hands around the gun’s handle. “Which one should I choose?”
I’ve got to admit, the murderous look in her eyes makes my dick hard. Maybe I’m just as attracted to the danger as she is. “You kill me, you kill yourself. Monty and Salvatore know it was you, Jess. I have orders to bring you in.”
“I expect you’ll follow those orders blindly.”
“No. Not this time. And either put that gun down, or shoot me.”
Jess is frozen, the gun in the air. I step forward quickly, until the barrel of the gun is pressing against my chest. I lean down, looking challengingly into her eyes.
“I dare you, Jess,” I growl. “You’ve been wet for revenge the entire time I’ve known you. And I love making you wet.”
We stare at each other, neither of us flinching. I see Jess trying to feel the fire of vengeance. She grits her teeth, trying to unearth it. Eventually, she gives up. She drops the gun, then falls to her knees. I’m not too proud to admit that I’m incredibly relieved.
I crouch down beside her and gather her in my arms. Her body is soft, vulnerable. She presses her face into my chest. I stroke her hair away from her face, and whisper into her ear.
“I’m sorry,” I say, knowing it will never be enough. “If I’d known who he was, and what it would do to you, I wouldn’t have killed him. I’m sorry I ruined your life, Jess.”
Jess tightens her arms around me, and talks softly against my suit jacket. “Maybe Monty’s to blame for my life falling apart. Maybe you are for pulling the trigger. Maybe I am for turning a blind eye. Jake definitely is, but he’s already dead.” She looks up at me, blinking. “If you don’t bring me in, they’ll come for me.”
I hug her protectively. “They’ll come for us. How did you expect this to end, when you first wanted to kill Monty?”
Jess shrugs. “I figured I’d be killed. I didn’t care then. I didn’t have anything to live for.”
“What about now? Do you care if you live or die?”
Jess reaches up and clasps my face. Her eyes fill with tears. She nods.
“What about you?” she says, wiping her tears. “You told me once that you never expect to see the sun rise the next morning, that you don’t care about the risks. Do you care now?”
I clutch the sides of her face, looking deeply into her eyes. “Yes,” I hiss, then lean in and kiss her. Jess clings to me as I slide my tongue into her mouth, kissing her deeply. Once I start, I can’t stop. My hands roam all over her body. I yank her blouse off, then work her skirt up to her hips.
Jess gasps as she lies back on the floor, allowing me to climb on top of her. My need for her is intensified by the fact that I don’t know how much longer we have. This could be our last chance, our last night together.
I hungrily taste her tits, then slide her panties down her legs. Frantically, I take off my pants, and without wasting any time, I plunge inside of her. She’s already soaking wet. Her body clings to my cock, tight and warm. It feels so good, the horrible events of the night leave my mind for now.
It feels so good, she must be my salvation.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Jess
The black hole that swallowed me after Jake died, after I lost the baby, is still there, hanging over my head, always threatening to devour me. I have to always stay one step ahead of it. Don’t think about Jake, don’t glance into that stroller on the sidewalk, or it will suck me right up, snatching me off of my feet.
I’d found a way out of that hole when I searched Jake’s computer and found his correspondence with Monty. An internet search led to the revelation that Monty was the same man I saw in Dr. Stone’s office that horrible day. The grief gave way to anger. Revenge became my motivation. Without it, I wouldn’t have gotten sober. I wouldn’t have met Snake. For a long time, it was the only thing keeping me alive.
Now, in my dark bedroom, tangled with Snake in the twisted sheets, I realize I don’t need it anymore. I rest my head on his chest, listening to his heart, rising and falling with his breath. The snake tattooed on his forearm is wrapped around my shoulders. I gently kiss the tip of its tail. Snake responds by turning his body towards me, and holding me tighter.
This is what guards me from the black hole now. This is what will keep me moving forward. The moral implications aside, Snake is my only chance for survival. And unlike the thirst for revenge, this makes me feel more whole.
“We should run,” Snake murmurs, then gently kisses my neck. “Get away from here, and never fucking turn back.”
My body flushes with warmth. I agree with him, but I’m also surprised. He’d turn his back on the Mariano’s so quickly, and just for me? I trace a line down the middle of his chest.
“They’re your family,” I say, my voice small in the darkness.
“I have to go, I know that. But I don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret.”
He raises his head from the pillow, and grasps the side of my neck. His face is inches from mine as he speaks. “You’re my family now. And you’re not going anywhere without me.”
The words send a shiver down my spine. I press my forehead against his, nodding.
Before we go, we need money. We hadn’t planned on withdrawing the funds from our scheme any time soon, so I’m not sure of the procedure yet. I’d planned to ask Toby to set up a withdrawal system, but Toby won’t be any help to us now. Snake is shirtless, wearing only his boxer shorts, and I’m wrapped in a sheet as we make our way to the living room. Snake opens the laptop, and logs into the backend of the ShopSuite site. He follows a link to the offshore account. I gasp when I see that our balance is well over one hundred thousand dollars.
Snake squints at the screen. “How do we withdraw?” He scrolls down the page. There, at the bottom, is a big red button that reads “Collect.”
It looks suspicious to me. “Don’t click that,” I say, urgently.
But while I’m saying the words, Snake clicks. All of the air releases from my lungs at once. I double over, clutching Snake’s shoulders. He looks at me with a raised eyebrow.
“What?” he asks.
Nothing happens at first. I start to think I’ve overreacted. Snake tries to scroll up, but the screen is frozen. He taps the keyboard with frustration. On the screen, my email account opens up. An email starts to compose. It attaches files from my computer, every file that has to do with our scheme, with Steve’s email in the address bar.
“What are you doing?” I scream, frantically.
“I’m not doing that,” Snake insists.
It all happens in less than twenty seconds. And whoosh, the email with the incriminating information is sent to Steve. Snake stares blankly at the screen.
“What the fuck just happened?” he asks.
I stand up quickly, clutching the sheet around me. My heart is palpitating, and my palms are sweating. I pick up the closest thing to me, a pillow, and hurl it across the room.
“Fucking Toby,” I yell. “He set up this time bomb. He was planning to fuck us this entire time.”
“And he did,” Snake says, coldly. “From beyond the grave.”
I grab my hair, pulling it by the roots, as I pace the room. Snake is soon by my side, rubbing my back.
“Don’t worry, Jess. He just sent it to your boss. We can take care of him.”
I pull back, looking into Snake’s eyes. “No,” I plead. “Please, no more deaths.” I flash back to that night in the desert, Toby’s wails ringing through the clear night, then the terrible silence that followed.
“It’s not pretty. But we have to do it for us.” He holds me closer to him. “We’re so close, Jess.”
I shake my head against his chest. Is this the price I have to pay for happiness? How many bodies will it take?
“We can talk to him. Work something out. You’re not working for the mob anymore. You don’t have to kill for them.”
Snake takes my face in both of his hands. “You’re right. I’m not killing for the Mariano’s anymore. But I will kill for us.”
I blink up at him, my mind grasping for something, anything, that will convince Snake not to kill Steve. Before I can come up with anything, my phone rings from the coffee table. I leap for it, snatching it up.
“It’s Steve,” I say, clutching the phone tightly.
Snake holds out his hand. “Give it to me.”
I turn quickly, walking several steps away from him, and answer the phone.
“Jess. What the fuck is this? Is this what it looks like?” Steve’s voice is hoarse from sleep, but aggressive. “What have you been doing behind my back?”
Snake stands close beside me, bent down to hear what Steve is saying. His hot breath travels down the back of my neck, making me shiver.
“Find out where he is,” Snake whispers, a murderous glean in his eye.
I have another plan.
“It’s exactly what it looks like, Steve. We’ve been skimming money off of website purchases.”
There’s a rumpled noise, like Steve dropped the phone. “Fucking hell,” he grumbles. “Does this have anything to do with Toby?”
“Steve, I need you to calm down,” I say, assertively. “Listen, we’ve amassed a lot of cash so far. Let’s talk. We can work something out.”
There’s a long silence. I feel Snake beside me, his patience starting to wear. I’m sure he wants to shoot Steve and be done with the whole thing. But there has to be another way. If I’m going to live this life with him, he’ll have to learn how to compromise.
“Steve?” I ask into the empty silence.
A cold laugh penetrates my ear.
“You don’t know, do you?” Steve asks.
“Know what?” I say through gritted teeth.
Steve takes a deep breath in, then exhales forcefully. “I have the access code needed to withdraw the funds. It was in the email. You have no leverage here.”
The wind leaves my sails in an instant. My delusion of power disappears, and I remember I’m standing naked, wrapped in a sheet, in the middle of the night. We’re running out of options here. I look to Snake, and his dark eyes affirm what I’m thinking.
“How’s Max?” I ask, casually.
I can feel Steve’s energy change. “Don’t mention my husband-“
“If I recall from our conversation at the Christmas party, Max works at a law firm downtown. I can’t remember the name, but it shouldn’t be too hard to find out.”
“What are you saying?”
“You know what I’m saying,” I insist. “You say I have no leverage, but I absolutely do. And if you and Max try to run, we’ll find you. Talk to the cops, we’ll find you. Catch my drift?”
“Is that a threat?”
“That’s a promise. I’d say ask Toby, but you can’t.”
The corner of Snake’s mouth turns up, giving me a rush.
“We need the access code. Tonight. That’s how you make this problem go away,” I say.
There’s a heavy pause. I imagine Steve considering the brutality of the Mariano family, and what will happen to him if he tries to strike against them.
“Gramercy Park,” Steve says, to my instant relief. “I’ll be there in an hour.” He hangs up.
I stare at the blank screen. My fingers are trembling from the adrenaline. I remember how I felt when I muscled Toby into working for us. It’s a feeling almost as addicting as alcohol. Snake approaches me, and kisses me on the forehead. His body is hot to the touch. He looks at me with an almost reverent look in his eye. I know what he’s thinking.
His queen.
*
Gramercy Park is small, a tiny green oasis flanked on all sides by roads and concrete sidewalks. Although we’re a few minutes early, Steve is already there. He’s dressed in dark clothing, waiting for us under a tree. My stomach tightens with nerves when I see him. On the drive here, Snake and I argued the entire way about whether to kill him or not. I convinced Snake to wait and see if it was necessary. He agreed, but I see his fingers twitching near the gun strapped to his waist.
“Here,” Steve says, as soon as we walk up to him. He shoves a piece of paper into my hand, then steps back, eyeing Snake warily. “That’s it, right? Can I go?”
“Not so fast,” I say.
Snake watches Steve closely as I swipe open my phone. I have the webpage already loaded, waiting for the access code. I carefully type the numbers in.
I nod to Snake, letting him know the code is good. The funds are being transferred as we speak. Snake glances at my phone, just for a split second, but it’s enough time for Steve to take off running.
“Let him go,” I call after Snake, but he’s already hot on Steve’s trail.
Snake grabs Steve around the waist, then flings him to the ground. Steve lies on his back, coughing and groaning. Snake places his
foot on Steve’s chest, pinning him down.
“He knows too much,” Snake hisses. “We got what we needed. Now he has to go.”
His hand goes for the gun. I grab Snake’s wrist.
“Stop,” I say, desperately. “Not everyone needs to die. There has to be another way.”
Snake turns his attention to Steve. “What did you tell the cops about Toby? Did you mention us?”
Steve takes a gasping breath, and struggles to talk. “I did.”
Snake narrows his eyes, and grinds his foot harder into Steve’s chest. Steve’s coughs, and his face starts to turn blue.
“He can’t breathe,” I yell. I pull on Snake’s arm, but there’s no moving him. He stares intensely down at Steve, with the determined look of a soldier. He’s been given no orders to kill Steve. He’s not on duty. But maybe his murderous streak doesn’t need to be told when to act.
“You don’t have to worry,” Steve yells in desperation. “The cops said Toby’s death was an accident.”
For a strange moment, I’m grateful for Monty’s payoff to Dr. Stone, which is what I imagined happened. The same thing I hated the capo for has saved my neck.
But Snake’s not entirely convinced. With his foot still firmly on Steve’s chest, Snake kneels down.
“You ratted to the cops. Why should I think you won’t rat to your superiors?” Snake asks. “I’m not worried about law enforcement. It’s the corporate mob that worries me. They’re almost as ruthless as the Mariano’s.”
Steve struggles beneath Snake’s foot, but it’s no use. While I watch the scene, my body feels light, like I’m floating. I close my eyes, expecting to hear the sound of a gun shot at any moment. Then, a memory flashes in my mind. When Steve first found out that I got Toby to compile the credit card numbers, he hadn’t threatened to fire me, or even rat to his bosses. Steve was worried that his superiors would blame him.
I force my eyes open and rush to Snake. He jerks his head towards me.
“We have to, Jess.”
“Just let me try one more thing.”
I drop down next to Steve, and start searching through his pockets. I locate his wallet and scramble to my feet.
Beware the Snake Page 15