by Quinn Ryder
I nodded in acknowledgement. “I know. I plan on being there for her as long as she will allow me to do it. Thanks for keeping my secret. I hope you won’t have to keep it for too much longer, but until I have my proof about who tried to kill me, I need to stay dead. Take care of Dutch for me, okay? He was more of a dad to me than my dad ever was.”
“I take care of him every day. Someone has to. Faith tries, but it hurts her to see him like this, and Scythe won’t even come down here. It’s really sad. Sometimes I wonder if Dutch feels their absence, but then he forgets something again and it’s hard for me to believe he feels anything but confusion anymore. Anyway, that window of opportunity is starting to fade away. Go after her, JD. I got this side of things on lock.”
I wanted to hug him, but I refrained. Instead, I gave a quick nod and ran out the door after Faith.
I found her outside of the building, standing underneath the trees with an arm draped over her eyes and the other clutching her stomach. I approached her cautiously, like she was a deer I’d spook if I got too close.
“Are you okay?” I asked her, my fake southern accent breaking a little.
“I’m fine,” she choked. “Some days are harder than others.”
“Does he do that a lot? You know, not remembering you and stuff?”
Her arm dropped, bottom lip quivering as she spoke. “Since my mom passed away it’s gotten worse, but he’s never mistaken a stranger for someone else before. I would’ve been fine if it wasn’t . . .” her words halted, and I knew immediately that it was because of me.
“Wasn’t what? I know you and I don’t know each other very well, but you can talk to me. I’m a safe space.” I motioned around me and grinned.
I got a half of smile in return. “When I was seventeen, I met a guy, his name was JD. He was a few years older than me and was my brother’s best friend. Most people didn’t really get to know him because he was a bigger guy, but JD was always so sweet to me. He was like my best friend, too. Then one day he started hanging around the club, and it wasn’t long before my dad took him under his wing and recruited him. They gave him the nickname Midas because he was the only guy who could tame me. I was a bit wild back then, but Midas . . . well, he centered me. My life was at its happiest when I was in Midas’ arms. Everything was always so perfect between us. I didn’t look at him like other people did. I never saw him as fat or obese. He was always a big ole’ teddy bear in my eyes. I loved him more than I have ever loved anyone in my whole life. I was ready to marry him,” a tear created a wet streak down her cheek, and it took everything in me to keep from wiping it away. “Then someone murdered him, and my dad and brother let it happen. I’ve never forgiven them for that. Hearing my dad call you JD was like he was raking up those ghosts I have been doing my best to forget. I don’t like talking about Midas because when people do, all I remember are the feelings of betrayal I felt after my dad and my brother did nothing to avenge Midas’ death. Since they wouldn’t do anything about it, I’m going to do something myself.”
“What do you mean?”
She sighed. “I know who Midas’ killer is, and once I get my proof, I’m going to stab that mother fucker in the heart and pierce his black soul for taking the man I love away from me. An eye for an eye, or in this case . . . a heart for a heart. He broke my heart, and now he will feel my pain.”
Damn. She was more broken up over my death than I originally thought. Would things have been different if I had come back for her earlier? I saw her broken tears and felt a deep connection to each one of them. My disappearance was the white rabbit that lead her down this crazy rabbit hole, and now she was lost in Wonderland, schmoozing up the enemy as my personal angel of death. I could blow this shit up right now and confess my secret to her, preventing her from making any more mistakes, but unfortunately my killer was still out there, and if he found out I was alive, I’m almost certain he would do something to Faith to bring me out of hiding and finish the job he couldn’t back then.
“Look, my words might not be exactly what you want to hear, but you don’t strike me as the kind of girl that could murder anyone. Maybe Midas was the love of your life, but do you think he’d really want you putting yourself in danger just to avenge his death?”
For a few agonizing seconds, she stood there with her eyes trained to a spot of dirt on the ground. She kicked it with her foot, refusing to look up at me. Then her head shot up, eyes piercing through me with such animosity and hatred it caught me off guard.
“MIDAS IS FUCKING DEAD! He’s not here to tell me what he would want. He didn’t get a chance to say anything to me before someone murdered him. You have no idea what I’ve been through, and you don’t even fucking know me enough to have an opinion. You’ll never know what it’s like to lose someone that was the thread that wove every fiber of your soul together, or to lose someone that centered you and made you feel as if the world wasn’t a fucked up shithole that sucks you dry. Midas made my world endless and perfect. Now that he’s gone, only turmoil has been left in his wake. So, you know what, Specter? Maybe Midas wouldn’t have wanted me to put myself in danger and avenge his death, but to be honest, I don’t care what anyone thinks anymore. He’s not here to stop me, and I’m not going to stop until the man who killed him is dead and I can free Midas’ soul from the limbo his killer put him in.” She shoved me hard, her hands pushing into my chest as she manhandled me out of her way. I had to force myself to let her go. I knew trying to reason with her was pointless. She had no idea who I was and telling her now would do more damage than good. Faith was inconsolable right now. She was too consumed with her thoughts of revenge to open her eyes and see the truth behind my death or the ghost that was standing right in front of her.
As I watched her go, I had a million thoughts running through my head.
Should I tell her?
What would she do if I did?
She doesn’t trust you and you will only break whatever trust you’ve started with her if you reveal the truth now.
Random thoughts like these kept resurfacing like a whale searching for its next breath. There was one thought though that stood out among the rest, and it had a lot to do with what Faith said a few minutes ago. It reminded me of a quote I read in a book once. It was so long ago that I don’t remember the name of the book or what it was about, but for some reason this quote was returning to my memory, burning in my mind like a smoldering ember that refused to die.
And in his wake, he left behind a trail of endless, shimmering tears.
No words had ever been truer than in this moment right now.
My death ruined Faith. She wasn’t the same girl I left behind seven years ago. I could only see the loss in her eyes—the dead blank space of someone who lived without emotions. Those tears in her eyes were the aftermath of me leaving her, and now it was up to me to repair everything I damaged inside of her. I owed her at least that.
Don’t worry, Faith, I’m going to fix this—I have to. I promise I’ll fix everything I left broken inside of you when I disappeared, and once I tell you who I am, I’m going to do everything in my power to thread you together again . . . one frayed, broken string at a time.
Chapter Fifteen
Faith
I wanted to leave Specter behind. Hell, I had my hand on the shifter ready to back up Scythe’s car and peel out of the parking lot, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.
It wasn’t Specter’s fault that I was so fucked up. I hadn’t been the same since I lost Midas, and anytime a man tries to get close to me I feel like running for the hills. Being with Midas was so easy, now if I feel myself falling for someone else, I either harden like stone or run away like a frightened field mouse.
My emotions were all over the place. It seemed like I was always angry, and what Specter said about Midas hit so many of my buttons that I wanted to lash out at him.
How dare he have an opinion about my life when we barely just met? Granted, I divulged a little too much informatio
n to him about my plan of action, but what gives him the right to form any kind of opinion on my situation?
It was a few minutes before he found me at the car. I wonder if I went too far yelling at him the way I did.
He climbed into the passenger seat and turned toward me. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re fine.”
“No. We both know I had no right to express my opinion. Maybe eventually you and I will know each other enough for me to say what’s on my mind, but right now I should’ve kept my mouth shut.”
I nodded. At least he knew his place.
“Can I ask you one thing, though?”
My head flopped over so I could look at him. “Depends on what it is.”
“If you wanted me to stay out of your business, then why did you tell me it in the first place?”
It was a good question—one that was extremely complicated to answer. “I guess I feel comfortable around you. I haven’t felt that way around anyone since Midas.”
There was a strange smile on his face—almost content in a way. “Well, I’m glad you feel comfortable around me, Faith. So comfortable that you’ll admit you want me to throw you up against a wall and fuck the shit out of you.”
My cheeks immediately flushed. Damn, I really did say that, didn’t I?
“It was a momentary lapse of judgment. Sometimes my mouth gets hornier than my mind.”
He grinned.
“Wait, I did NOT mean it like that. I meant sometimes my mouth says dirty things before my mind realizes it’s thinking about them. Like, I am attracted to you and stuff, but I’m kinda in a relationship right now. You probably are, too. I bet you get laid every night and your big cock muscle gets thoroughly worked out.”
He chuckled. “Big cock muscle, huh? Yeah, it gets its fair share of work outs, but I’m not tied down to anyone right now. I came back here to win the heart of someone I lost long ago.”
I turned toward him, “And she hasn’t said yes yet?”
He shook his head. “Sometimes it takes time. I have all the time in the world to right my wrongs. Maybe she’ll never forgive me for what I did to her, but I’m hopeful that what we had was strong enough to overcome the crap I put her through.”
I remained silent. To be honest, I didn’t know what to say. Specter had a heart bigger than the cut he wore on his back. I could see that he wasn’t the typical biker that usually prospected my brother’s club. Whoever this girl was, she was fucking lucky. I’d give my life to be in a relationship where the guy put me above everyone else again.
“Sounds like a lucky lady.”
He turned to me and frowned. “No, Faith, I’m the lucky one. Only somebody with incredibly good luck would be fortunate enough to have someone like her love him. My only hope is that I can convince her to love me like that again after she finds out I’m back in town.”
I wanted to know more about this mysterious woman who won the strange biker’s heart, but I was already pulling into the boneyard, and Switchblade was standing there waiting for us looking pissed as all hell.
The second we exited the car, Switchblade was in Specter’s face.
“What the hell, Prospect? I give you a task and you go riding off into the sunset? What the actual fuck? Are you even serious about being a part of this club?” Switchblade was screaming so loud that I could see the spit flying from his mouth.
“Scythe asked him to take lunch to our dad. I decided to go with him, and things ran a lot longer than we expected. Cool the fuck down, Curtis!”
Switchblade’s angry eyes roved over me. “I told you not to call me that! The name’s Switchblade, bitch, not Curtis.”
Specter stepped in between us. “If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me, but you will not speak to her like that.”
Switchblade sneered before his fist cocked back and he punched Specter straight in the jaw.
“What the fuck, Switchblade?” I screamed.
“That’s what he gets for fucking you.”
Specter spat at the ground. There was a hint of blood in his spit. A hit like that would rattle any man, but Specter remained calm. “I didn’t fuck her, but if you keep acting like this, I might do it just to spite you.”
Switchblade lunged at Specter, tackling him to the ground. “You won’t touch her. Nobody touches her but me.”
“Fat chance,” I growled. “Stop being an idiot and get off of him.” I watched in horror as Switchblade manhandled Specter on the ground, rolling around with him until Scythe and Cipher came out of the compound.
“What the hell is going on?” Scythe boomed.
A few club members were standing around watching the fight, but nobody did anything to stop what was happening. The second my brother came out the door, they scattered like the roaches they were.
“This mother fucker thinks he can challenge me. I told him to do a job and he was out fucking your sister for the last hour and a half.”
“I told you, Moron, I didn’t fuck her. I took her down to see her dad. We dropped off his lunch, and then her dad and your old SGT at Arms asked me to play a round of cards. Figuring it was rude to say no to them, I sat down and played a hand. Go fuck yourself.”
“Prospect, watch your mouth. Switchblade, grow the fuck up. I told him to take my dad his lunch, and I guess Faith decided to join him. If you continue acting this way to our prospects, nobody is going to want to prospect this club anymore. Cool the fuck off.” Scythe turned toward Specter. “And you. Taking someone their lunch shouldn’t take more than a few minutes. Why the fuck were you gone so long?”
I turned toward my brother, “God, don’t be a moron, too. Nothing fucking happened.”
Jimmy’s eyes narrowed on me. “This is club business, Faith. Shouldn’t you be down at the bar? What happened to you being busy today and not being able to take dad his lunch?”
“What happened to you being the one to take dad his lunch today?” I countered.
My brother glared at me. “Get the fuck out of here, Faith; you have a bar to run.”
“I closed it up for the day.”
“What? Why?”
“Because the only people who ever drink there are you and these morons, you call brothers. What kind of business is that? You really need to start rethinking this club only rule, otherwise you’re going to run mom’s bar into the ground just like you have this club.”
I knew I hit him right where it hurts because I swear to God, I saw steam billowing out of Jimmy’s ears. He was livid, and I wasn’t going to wait around for him to lash out at me again. Last time I did that, he hit me. Instead, I stomped away, jumped in my car, and sped off—heading in the opposite direction of where he told me to go. I had a lot of pent up anger raging inside of me, and I needed to fuck it out. Despite every part of me wanting Specter to be the man I turned to for that, there was only one person I could ask to get me off. If I wanted my information on Midas, I was going to have to stay completely faithful to Diego. Which royally sucks because I’m finding it difficult to suppress this strange attraction I have to Specter. My lust for him is going to have to wait another day, because right now I have something more important to do.
Kill Diego.
Chapter Sixteen
Specter
“You really know how to make an impression, don’t you, Prospect?” Scythe asked me, after he had me follow him into the compound so I could ice my jaw.
Fuck Switchblade for sucker punching me like that. Had I not already known the rules regarding prospects and fighting other members, I would’ve laid him out right then and there. For now, he was untouchable, and I hated that I couldn’t knock the shit out of him like I wanted to. Switchblade had a bad case of the green-eyed monster, and his obsession with Faith would ultimately be his undoing if he wasn’t careful.
“He suckered punched me. Don’t worry, I didn’t hit him back. If I did, he wouldn’t be walking.”
Scythe chuckled, grabbing some ice out of the mini icebox he had in his office and wrappe
d it in a towel. “I’ve felt your right hook, I bet it could even bring someone as big as Switchblade down if you hit him just right.”
“Guys like him are all talk and no bite. He has some gigantic nut for your sister and seems to think I’m getting in the way of his chance with her.”
“You mean no chance with her. Switchblade may like my sister, but he’s not her type. She likes guys with a hero complex, kinda like you.” Scythe’s eyes narrowed on me. “You remind me of someone I used to know. Someone both she and I cared about. It’s kind of unreal how much you’re like him.”
“You mean, Midas?”
He nodded. “Did Faith actually talk to you about him?”
“A little. Then she got pissed off when I gave her my opinion about this suicide mission she’s running.”
Scythe leaned against his desk. “What do you mean?”
I held my tongue. Crap, I thought Scythe knew what Faith was doing. Obviously, what I overheard the other day was not the whole story.
“Never mind, I probably misunderstood her.”
“Talk, Prospect. Now.” There was no arguing with the Prez when he wanted intel. Now that I’ve talked, I couldn’t go back on it. That would do even more damage than telling him what his sister said.
“Fuck, I’m just starting to get her to trust me, Prez. I don’t know if I can break that trust.”
“I get that, but you took an oath to prospect this club, and in doing so, your intel became my intel. So, you need to tell me what’s going on with my sister, otherwise, I’m going to think that you’re a rat, and from everything I’ve seen of you so far, I have reasons to suspect that you’re not being honest with me. You’re too good at what you do. You walk around this place like you already know where everything is located. Sometimes I see you stare at other members like you’ve known them for years. You act like you know exactly how we work and what this all entails. For a prospect, you sure know your shit, and if I remember correctly, you told me that you’ve never been in a club before. I can tell that was a lie, which makes me wonder what other shit you’ve been lying to me about? So, what’s your story, Prospect? Are you part of the Armada or are you a rat trying to get intel on us?”