"Mmhmm, which leaves us here, alone, in the quiet, with no one but the beasts to hear you spilling secrets to me about Mackenzie Caswell. You've seen him twice now, which is huge for you, Ms. Never-Let-Em-Come-Close. So talk to me before I die of curiosity, why don't you?"
Her voice lifted in the wind, the soft rustle of tree limbs along the path accompanying the melodic beats of the horses' hooves beneath them. Her posture was relaxed but strong; her first pet had literally been a pony, so she rode with a level of confidence that was universally envied. Watching her, Cameron wondered again why Tabitha had never followed her father into professional equestrian riding.
"You really need to hear it all that bad?" Cameron laughed, guiding her horse around a small tree limb that had fallen alongside the path.
"Of course. That's the whole best friend thing, remember? You're supposed to tell me stuff?"
"Oh right!" Cameron exclaimed, raising one hand to slap herself on the forehead. "Silly me, I thought it just meant you had to be supportive and stuff, but I still get to live my own life on my own terms."
"Cameron. Honey. You are obviously confused. No, the terms of the best friend agreement clearly state that I am to be privy to all your life's details, and that you are to patiently hear my opinions, smiling and nodding as required." Tabitha waved a hand regally, lifting her nose into the air and assuming a stiffly royal posture.
"Oh, your majesty, forgive me. How errant I have been in my duties," Cameron replied dryly.
"Forgiven, my love," Tabitha said with another stiff wave. "But please, do carry on." Laughing, she dropped the tension in her back and resumed her naturally relaxed pose. "Seriously though, aren't you going to tell me anything?"
"He's a widower," Cameron said, keeping her eyes on the path in front of them. Tabitha was slightly ahead on her larger horse, and was leading them both down a path that led to a wild meadow where they could let the horses run wild for a while. Cameron urged her horse forward, wishing the meadow were closer so that she wouldn't have to talk too much about Mac.
"What happened to his wife?" Tabitha asked.
"He says she had some sort of brain cancer, a tumor. I didn't really ask for a lot of details. Listening to him just telling me that much was rough. You can hear in his voice that it still hurts him to have lost her. He says her name was Alex; it’s short for Alexandra."
Tabitha nodded quietly, riding on a while before asking anything else. "Do you think you can date a man who has that on his shoulders? Would you feel that you have to be his wife? The one that died, I mean?"
"Not really. Honestly, that's not the largest of the complications," Cameron said looking off into the trees. She'd been hoping to draw the conversation out in an effort to avoid bringing Mac's son into things, but then decided to just get it over with. She really trusted Tabitha, and she was fully aware that what she said to her would go no further. Talking to her gave Cameron a place to express her thoughts, while still feeling safely assured that Mac's secrets would remain secrets. She knew that what she told Tabitha would stay between them, and the more she talked to Tabitha about Mac, the more she wanted to.
"What's the largest complication? He live with his mom or something?"
Cameron laughed. "No, but they do live close together. His mom is sort of the receptionist in his practice. And, um, his dad helps take care of his son."
"What?!" Tabitha exclaimed, her voice breaking the peaceful quiet of the woods around them. She pulled her horse to a halt, twisting in the saddle to stare at Cameron. "His what?!"
"His son."
"He has a son? Are you ready for a son, Cameron?" Tabitha's eyes were round, and she impatiently waved a loose strand of hair from her face.
"Well, it's not like we're getting married tomorrow, Tab, and I'm not exactly signing adoption papers. I'm just dating the man, sheesh," Cameron grumbled.
"I'm serious though," Tabitha answered. "Have you met the kid? How old is he? Is his mom the dead wife? What's his name?"
"Okay, okay," Cameron said, dropping the reigns to hold her hands out in front of her. "Hold on with the rapid-fire interrogation, would you?"
"Sorry," Tabitha muttered. "You just took me by surprise, is all. I mean, a guy with that kind of baggage? What about your own stuff?"
"Tabitha," Cameron sighed. "Again, it's not like we've purchased a marriage license yet. But as for my stuff, Mac's a therapist. I'm pretty sure he'll have no troubles with me, whenever I’m ready to talk about it. And really, what better type of man for me to find? He's patient, kind, generous. He isn't pushy at all --"
"And he has a son," Tabitha broke in.
"Logan," Cameron sighed. "He's nine, I think, and yes, Alex was his mom. I haven't met him yet; Mac keeps his dating life away from his son. He says he doesn't want women coming and going, since Logan has already lost his mother."
"Cameron, is this guy looking for a new mommy for his kid?" Tabitha asked.
"No, I don't think so," Cameron said. "He talks about Logan if I ask, but he doesn't really bring him up much. But I mean, it would have been odd to have dated him for months and then have him tell me he has a kid, right? Better to tell me from the beginning?"
"I guess. But I'm not so sure I'm comfortable with the whole kid thing. A kid, Cam? What if he wants you to meet his kid one day? Can you be a mom?"
"I don't know, honestly. I'll just have to see where I am when Mac and I get there. If we get there. I mean, it still wigs me out when he tries to kiss me or anything like that, so there's no telling if we'll even make it that far. But I don't know. I like kids. And I prefer little boys because they seem more simple. I mean, my brothers were so much cooler than Harmony when they were little, you know? Harmony always cried, and she took everything personally. But the boys would just shake it off and go on their way. I think I could handle a little boy."
"What about a big boy though? Kids do this weird thing where they get bigger and bigger, and then they get all challenging and stuff. Can you handle that?" Tabitha was still in shock that Cameron would be dating a man who had a child. If she was honest with herself, she was in total shock that Cameron was still dating the man at all. With her trust in men completely slaughtered years ago, Cameron only dated very rarely. Even then, the poor guys never made it past the first date for one reason or another. Cameron was always too afraid to let anyone get too close.
"Well, Evan's a big boy. I mean, he's about to graduate, and I can deal with him just fine."
"Yeah, but Cameron, you don't ever have to make him clean his room, or eat his vegetables. Or do his homework, or make him show up on time for curfew."
"Wow, you have me in the big white gown already huh?" Cameron laughed, shaking her head as Tabitha rolled her eyes and nudged her horse to start walking again.
"No, not the white gown. But this guy has baggage, you know?"
"Tabby, I have baggage too," Cameron said, her voice just a whisper above the sounds of the horses thumping hooves. "We're in our thirties. The only way I'm going to find an untouched, unburdened man, is if I go out and put an ad in the paper for a dropout flunkie who lives in his mom's basement and has never seen a breast before. I know Mac has his stuff, big stuff that comes along with him. But it's because he's a competent man who has actually bothered to live his life. I mean, he built a family, he built a career, he's raising his son."
"Alright, alright," Tabitha said, her tone apologetic. "You know I just care, right?"
"Of course. But I don't know if it could work unless I try. And I'm terrified, and you know it's coming up, the anniversary, and if this man can handle me with all that I've been through - if he doesn't care that I'm seriously damaged goods, then I have to try it. It's been almost ten years, Tab, and at some point I want to let go and live again."
"No time like the present, I guess," Tabitha said, stretching her arm to point through the trees at the end of the path, trees that slowly fell away as they move to reveal the meadow they'd been riding for.
"Well
, let's do this, then," Cameron challenged, leaning forward and pressing her thighs closer toward the body of the horse beneath her. She laughed as the beast took flight, springing gaily through the grass that swayed gently in the spring breeze. Her hair lifted with the increasing speed of the horse.
And just as it did every time she found herself flying on the back of a horse, her mind cleared of the past. Her heart leapt with the beat of the wind whipping her face, and for a little while, she was able to forget.
***
"Have you decided what you and Nick are planning to wear?" Cameron asked, twisting around from the bookcase to look at her brother, Drew. She'd been reaching for a stack of pamphlets she'd set aside for him to bring to Cass, things for her to look over as part of their wedding preparations.
"I don't have a clue. Cass says it's up to me, cut and style and all that, so long as we stick with the colors she's working with. She says she can't have men standing up with her that look ridiculous against her color scheme. Nick says he wants to wear pink and yellow all day before the wedding just to freak her out. Cute, huh?" Drew leaned back in his seat, stretching one arm over the back of the empty seat next to him.
"That Nick, what a clown. You sure got an odd one for a partner in that guy," Cameron answered, laughing. "He still feeling guilty about all the shooting stuff from before?"
"Yeah, he keeps saying he didn't have his guard up, stupid stuff. Like he's forgotten that he only got stabbed because I wasn't watching that guy. But I remind him that I'd gone outside, and it pisses him off. Maybe he needs a feminine distraction, I don't know. Then I also thought about talking to the captain, making them send him in to talk to someone. Maybe Mac, you know? I mean, he helped me. Still maybe he needs a girl."
"Right, he probably needs a girl," Cameron muttered, trying to look busy with a book of wedding gowns, hoping Drew wouldn't switch topics and start asking questions about her dating Mac.
"Speaking of Mac," Drew said with a grin. Cameron turned, looking up at him with narrow eyes. He looked adorably out of place in his dark police uniform, sitting there in her ultra-romantic office with stubble on his cheeks and his hair standing on end.
"I wasn't speaking of Mac," she growled, unable to keep an answering grin from widening her lips. "You look different. Did you color the gray out of your hair?"
"Sure did," he laughed. "I'm sick of dad's gray popping up on my head, so I went for this. Cass loves it." He put his fingers through his hair, making the chaos of the wild thicket worse.
"I like it too," Cameron smiled. "You look more your own age."
"And speaking of Mac," Drew laughed again, drawing her attention back to his intent to interrogate her.
Cameron cleared her throat. "I have a booklet for you to look through. It has a lot of photos with different suit styles and cuts. I've placed sticky notes through the book, mostly on pages that I thought might suit you or Nick especially well."
"Cameron." Drew raised his eyebrow.
"Andrew," she said, grinning as she raised her eyebrows back at him.
"You're killing everyone with this silent thing you're doing." He sighed, exasperation creeping into his tone.
"Were you coerced into making this appointment with me, Drew? Because I'm feeling like you didn't come here as a client. You came here as a cop." She stood, brushing her hands over her knees to re-settle the fabric of her jeans. "So if you'd like, you can just leave a card for me, and I'll call if I remember anything, okay?"
"Ouch. Cameron, come on." Drew stood, laughing. "I think this is obstruction of the family information highway or something. Tell me something, or I can't show my face at home. Mom is driving all of us as crazy as you, asking if anyone knows anything."
"Fine. Tell her he's sweet to me, that we've planned our third date, he's really hot, and I still haven't been on his motorcycle. He's gentle and funny and clever, and we have a very easy relationship with each other. Conversation flows smoothly, and - did you want to take notes?" she asked, her expression mocking.
"Nope, I can remember. I'm a cop, you know. So, um, is there anything else?" Drew asked, running his hand over the back of his neck sheepishly.
"Anything else. Like what?" Cameron crossed her arms, her cheeks flaming. "Are you asking me if I've had sex with him? Because that's just gross."
"Oh my god, Cameron, shit! No, I'm not asking that. Jeez," His face flushed, and he turned his back to stare out the window. "I'm just worried, Cam; we're all worried. It's almost ten years soon, and --"
"I know the time frame, Drew. And I'm okay. Really, I'm okay. At some point, I have to move on with my life, don't I?" Cameron left her desk, walking over to take the place beside her brother. She was the firstborn of her family, but all his life, Drew had been the protector, and though he was younger than she was, Cameron felt his presence in her life like that of an older brother.
He slipped a strong arm over her shoulder, drawing her in close to him. "I know, Cam. And if anyone deserves something beautiful, it's you. But promise to come talk to me if you need me, or if he pulls anything, or --"
"Drew. Please, listen to me." She allowed her head to fall into the curve of his shoulder, drawing in the strength of one of the only men she trusted. "I'm really okay. I'm dreading that anniversary coming around, and having to remember it all again, but I want there to be a time in my life when what happened in the past isn't in the present anymore. And right now, this thing with Mac? It's good, and I just want to keep it to myself for a while."
"I can understand that," he muttered, squeezing her shoulders, still watching the traffic flow past the window outside.
"Besides, I don't even know if Mac and I will make it to great friends first, and you know how much that means to me. I won't settle for less than what we grew up with, less than what we've seen between mom and dad. So there really is nothing to tell just yet, you know?"
"I get it. I'll tell mom to back down some okay? But Cameron, you've got to give her something. She's worried too, and she's hurt to be left out of the loop."
"I'll see what I can do. And now that we've had the chat that keeps you invited to family dinners at home, can we please talk about tuxedos now?"
"Alright, alright. Fine," he grumbled, turning back to her desk.
***
"I can't believe you've never been to the zoo," Mac said, taking Cameron's hand, swinging their arms together as they walked the path between the lions and the panthers. A roar sounded in the distance, and Cameron flinched.
"Ah, I see," Mac said, smiling. "Afraid of the creatures? We can leave if you want."
"Nope. Facing fears lately is my thing," Cameron laughed.
"Oh, it’s Miss Fearless now," Mac answered. "Got balls, have you?"
"Sure do," she answered, pulling away from him to catch a little girl who'd been about to fall from a railing she'd climbed. Handing the child off to her mother with a smile, she turned back to find Mac watching her. "What?" she asked.
"Nothing. That was nice of you, to catch her. Most people are too afraid to touch a child that isn't their own." He watched her quietly, and she crossed her arms, suddenly self-conscious.
"Even to protect them?" she asked.
"Even to protect them. I can't tell you how many times I've seen a kid fall, or trip, always when the mother or father has just looked away. But you can see countless adults watching, doing nothing."
"I couldn't do that. That girl would have skinned her legs all up," she said. "Besides, I'm conquering fears, remember?"
"Awesome. So we'll go bungee jumping on the next date then. My treat."
"Um, no," Cameron said laughing. "I've never been scared of bungee jumping. You know, because there's no possibility that I'd ever do that."
"Oh come on," Mac laughed back, tugging her close to him and dropping his arm around her shoulders. Rejoicing when she didn't stiffen, he tightened his arm, her hair spilling over his arm to fall down her back. "Bungee jumping can be a lot of fun, I've heard."
&nb
sp; "Yeah, a lot of fun, sure. If you enjoy watching sidewalks come rushing up to smack you in the face. Personally, I like my face as it is, and have no desire to look like a pug."
"I like your face too," he laughed reaching over to tweak the tip of her nose. "So tell me then, fear conqueror, what kept you away from the zoo as a child?"
Her grin failed her, thinking back to childhood, a documentary she'd found on television when she was a toddler. It had been about the vicious power of a wild animal, a comparison of creatures, a discussion of which animal was the most powerful killer.
"I saw this movie when I was little, and it was pretty grisly. It was like, they were discussing different animals from the wild, and how they hunt and kill, and which beasts were more powerful and stuff. I was really young, so it had a huge impact on me. I remember when I was in preschool, and we were doing that whole thing where they ask you what a rooster says, and what a cat says, and they asked me what a tiger says, and I froze up. So the boy behind me roared, and it scared the heck out of me. Hey, don't laugh," Cameron finished, driving her elbow lightly into his side.
Prescription For Love (The Kingsley Series) Page 8