“You really think so?”
“Hell, yeah. You’re the toughest chick I know, remember?”
“Oh, right. I am.”
They smiled at each other and then Mac turned serious again.
“Anyway, for about six months after you disappeared, I kept the faith. Had hope. I searched for you and I called the cops and asked about any leads. Then I kind of… got depressed. Started to lose my way, I think. I’d pulled back from the guys and didn’t even notice that I was all alone anymore. I just worked every hour that I could handle and looked for you.”
“And the guys didn’t say anything about you blowing them off and acting weird?”
“Oh, no. They did. They knew something was way wrong and they called and tried to get me to meet them for a drink. But I put them off and ignored their calls and after about a year, they just stopped.”
Mirrie nodded.
“Then I woke up one day and just knew that you were gone. That was when I finally got angry and decided to move on from you for good. I decided to believe that you were still alive – the alternative was too fucking terrifying to contemplate, really – and that you’d just fucked off on me and that I hated you for it.” He threaded his fingers through hers, pressed a soft kiss to her palm. “I went to Curves that night and walked on in like nothing was wrong, like I’d never been gone. Jax and King and Aidan pushed pretty damn hard to find out what had happened, but I just avoided the whole topic until they dropped it.”
“And women?” Mirrie held her breath, dreading what he was going to say, but still needing to hear it. “You started seeing women?”
“I wouldn’t say that I saw anybody,” Mac said. “I – I was so pissed at you and I’d lost all faith in relationships. In love. You were the first person in the whole of my life that I'd let myself open up to, and it had all blown up in my face. So I decided to just have fun and hate you with the white-hot intensity of a thousand burning suns and that was it. Never again was I going to really care about anyone the way I’d cared about you. I decided to go back to my whole life approach of never taking anything seriously except for my job. Everything else was a big fucking joke. It was – easier that way. Better.”
“So it was always casual? With the women at Curves?”
“Completely.” Mac winced. “I was with lots of women, Mirrie. I can’t say that I’ve been anything like a saint since you left… in fact, I’ve been quite the sinner.”
She tightened her grip on his fingers. “It’s OK, Shane.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure. I was gone and you didn’t know if I was alive or dead and if truth be told, I had no intention of ever coming back to you. You were a free man, honey, and you had the right to be with as many women as you wanted.” She kissed his chest. “And you did wait and believe in me for over a year. That really tells me something.”
“And you, babe?” Mac forced the words out. “You been with anybody all this time?”
“No.”
He paused. “Just – no?”
Mirrie looked away. “Just no. I couldn’t put anybody else at risk… the thought of the Fallen Angels hurting another man just because he was my boyfriend was too much. I decided to never put any man in the line of fire like I’d done to you.”
“You didn’t –”
“I did, Shane. You still have no idea how close you were to dying that day up at your cabin, do you? Trust me – you were in the crosshairs and you were there because of me. I put you there because of who I was and where I came from.” She shook her head. “No way that was happening again if I could help it.”
“So you’ve been alone this whole time.”
“Yes, I have. And so have you.”
“Babe, I just told you: I’ve been one hell of a womanizing bastard.”
“But you were alone, really.” She held her hand to his cheek. “In all the ways that really matter.”
At her gentle words, a wave of emotion moved across his chest. It was warm and huge and he knew that it was relief. Relief at being forgiven for having given up on her, for having given in to his anger and hatred. Relief at being given a second chance – one that he felt that he barely deserved. Relief at her just being here, whole and safe and so fucking gorgeous.
“But I’m not alone now,” Mac said, his voice thick. “I’m with you.”
“Yeah, you are.” Mirrie kissed him, loving this glimpse of Shane’s rarely-seen vulnerable side. “And I’m not going anywhere.”
“Promise?” He held her closer, tighter, harder. “You promise me?”
“I promise. You’re stuck with me, honey.”
“Good.” He cupped her breasts and stroked her nipples with his thumbs. Mirrie gave a small moan and he lowered his lips to take her mouth. “‘Cause that’s all I’ve ever wanted, babe.”
"Me too. I never forgot you."
"No?"
"No." She smiled and traced the tattoo on the side of her neck. "I had you inked in to my skin."
Startled, he peered more closely at the blue flowers. "That's for me?"
"Yeah. They're forget-me-nots."
"Oh, babe." Mac never cried, not ever, but the second intense wave of emotion that smashed through his chest was a damn close thing. "I love that. I love you."
She kissed him again, her lips lingering gently. "So now you know for sure, Shane: I carried you with me every second of every day, even when I thought that I'd never see you again."
Chapter Nine
The next morning, Spider glanced up to see Mirrie and Mac walking in to The Web Café hand-in-hand. Right away, a huge smile broke out across his face.
“So!” Spider set down the tray of brownies. “What’s going on here, kids?”
They smiled back at him and Spider was thrilled to see how relaxed Mirrie looked. God, she looked better and happier than he’d seen her in a long time – about four years, actually.
“Oh, nothing much,” Mac said, his deep voice rumbling out of that to-die-for chest. “Just bringing my girl to work.”
“Then you’re out of here?” Spider said, itching to get Mirrie alone so he could get the scoop and all the dirty details.
“Nope. I’m staying for a coffee and some of your diet-busting goodies.” Mac looked at the display counter. “Oh, man… are those brownies?”
“You know it.”
“I have zero resistance to brownies. I’ll need two.” Mac considered. “Three.”
“No problem.” Spider moved behind the counter to pour the coffee. “Coffee for you, Mirrie?”
“Uh, yes, please,” Mirrie said. “And then Spider? We need to talk to you.”
Spider tilted his dark head. “Lemme guess… you need some time off, right? Mac’s taking you away for a nice vacation and all I hope is that it’s someplace where you guys will be in bathing suits most of the time. Especially you.” His dark eyes ran over Mac’s large, muscular body teasingly. “I can’t wait to see the pictures.”
They stared at him, looking tense. He paused.
“What?” Spider asked. “What’s going on?”
“Can we talk alone?” Mac said.
A bit alarmed now, Spider nodded at Vera who was watering the plants. “Handle things out here, alright?”
“Sure,” she said. “I got it.”
Spider handed over their coffees and then waved them in to his office. Mirrie and Spider sat, but Mac stayed standing.
“OK,” Spider said. “Something wrong?”
Mirrie and Mac looked at each other; they seemed very hesitant to actually start a conversation that they’d initiated.
“Guys?” Spider was starting to get worried now. “Did the Fallen Angels find out about you? Maybe pay you a visit?”
“No,” Mirrie said quickly. “Nothing like that – but this is about them.”
“OK.” Spide
r was puzzled. “I’m listening.”
“The thing is…” Mac sighed a bit. “This is about them… and you.”
Spider froze. “Me?”
“Yeah. You and Ace, to be specific.”
“Oh, fuck,” Spider whispered. “How did you – you guys know about me and Ace?”
“Yeah.” Mac looked apologetic. “We do.”
“How – who –” The terror in Spider’s voice was clear. “Oh, God…”
“It’s OK, Spider,” Mirrie said quickly. “The only people who know are Shane’s friends.”
A bit of color returned to Spider’s face. “Does Ace know that the secret’s out?”
“He does,” Mac said quietly. “We’ve already held it over his head once to get him to cooperate. He’s scared to death.”
“Well, of course he is!” Spider said. “If those fucking animals in the MC knew the truth about him? God, he wouldn’t last three minutes and I’d maybe last five.”
“Hey,” Mac said calmly. “That’s all under control, OK? I promise, nobody has the slightest bit of interest in seeing you get hurt.” His eyes glinted. “I can’t say the same for Ace, though.”
Spider looked away, torn about what was going on here. Yeah, he knew that getting involved with Ace Cuddy had been a big mistake; he’d known that from the moment they’d started things up. But it wasn’t meant to have meant anything. Ace was sexy and dangerous and Spider had just seen a good time. A hot-as-hell fuck and that was it.
But from the word go, Ace had been a surprise – a good one. He was gay, clearly and no doubt, but he’d never been with a man before. Spider had been amazed to find out that he was Ace’s first male partner… amazed and honored. The fact that Ace had been unable to fight his attraction to another man for the first time in his life had shocked both of them.
No, the truth was that Ace had given himself over to Spider completely and in a way that had made him soft and vulnerable. Spider understood that nobody saw that side of Ace – showing that side would get Ace killed, he was sure – but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t there. That was the person that Spider had fallen in love with. The person that he loved still, though he wasn’t sure that person existed anymore. But that didn’t mean that he wanted to see Ace get hurt, though maybe he deserved to be hurt. Maybe he deserved worse.
Fuck, the man confuses me.
“It’s so pathetic, you know,” Spider said at last. “Ace being what he is – what we both are – is such a fucking horrible, disgusting thing that it can be used against him to blackmail him. To control him and beat him down and scare him in to doing what you want.”
“It’s only horrible and wrong in some worlds, man,” Mac said quietly. “And one of them is the world that Ace has chosen to inhabit.”
“It was his choice, you know,” Spider said. “I begged him to walk away from the Fallen Angels when it became clear that Trigger was going to tap him for the VP spot. I knew that if he took the position, it’d have to end between us. There was no way that we could carry on the way that we had been – Ace wouldn’t have the freedom that he’d had as just a patched-in member and there would be way more eyes on his every move. I knew it’d be too dangerous to continue things.”
“And he refused?” Mirrie asked.
“Totally. Said that the club was his family and besides, he was sure that Trigger would never let him leave. And even if by some miracle he did manage to extricate himself, he was sure they’d be watching him like a hawk, so we couldn’t be together, anyway.”
“I’m sorry,” Mirrie said. “I know how much that must have hurt.”
Spider flashed them both a brief smile. “Yeah, I figure if anybody knows what it’s like to have those MC assholes get between you and the person you love, it’s you two.”
“So – you loved him?” Mac said, disbelieving. His experiences with Ace had done nothing but convince him that the man was a violent, heartless monster. He tried to imagine Ace being loving and affectionate with Spider and failed miserably. “Really loved him?”
“Oh, yeah.” Spider spoke softly. “He was The One, for me.”
“Oh.” Mac was stunned in to an uncharacteristic silence. “I – I just can’t see that.”
“I’m sure.” Spider shook his head. “I’m not an idiot and I’m not blind: I know what he’s done to people. I know he’s hurt people.” He hesitated. “Killed them.”
“But you got together with him anyway?” Mirrie said.
“Well, I’ve kinda always had a thing for bad boys,” Spider said sheepishly. “And when we first met, he was some lowly MC member and anyway, it was just a fling. I mean, we had to sneak around and the whole thing was so hot because it was top-secret and risky. You know? It added to the thrill.”
“I can see that,” Mac said and Mirrie shot him a look.
“Can you, honey?” she said sweetly.
“Well, a bit,” Mac said hastily. “So… ummm… so what happened?”
Spider shrugged. “What always happens in these situations? The more time we spent together, the more I got to know him. We talked and we started to like each other. He told me things about his life, things that showed me his heart and who he was, deep down inside, under all that MC bullshit. And that was it… we fell in love.”
“You miss him?” Mac asked.
“Oh, yeah. Like crazy.” Spider looked away. “But I also thank God every day that he’s out of my life. When I hear what the Fallen Angels get up to and the things that they do now, I know Ace is involved… and I’m happy that I’m nowhere close to a man who can do things like that.”
“And when they threatened Shane?” Mirrie said. “Told me to leave Denver?”
“Yeah, that was the end for me,” Spider said. “I was fucking furious that the MC had crossed that line – that they wouldn’t leave you in peace after everything you’d been through with them. I went to Ace and I laid it all out for him. Told him to leave you the hell alone or else I’d spill what I had on him.”
“This is the part that confuses me.” Mac’s eyes were watchful; he was sure that there had to be more to Spider’s side of the story than they knew or even suspected. “How could you share Ace’s secret without putting yourself at risk too?”
“Because,” Spider said. “What I have on him has nothing to do with Ace being gay.”
Mirrie and Mac stared at him.
“It doesn’t?” Mirrie said. “So – what’s it about?”
“I have evidence that links Ace to an unsolved crime. A murder.”
“You do?” Mac was stunned. “Hard evidence?”
“The hardest.” Spider’s smile had no humor in it whatsoever. “I have the murder weapon.”
They stared some more.
“What is it?” Mac said.
“A gun.”
“And Ace’s fingerprints are on it?” Mirrie asked.
“Yep. And it was well-known among law-enforcement circles at the time that it was Ace’s preferred weapon. It was very – distinctive.”
They nodded at that: the Fallen Angels all had signature weapons that they flaunted and flashed around. Naturally, the cops were never able to link any ballistics evidence from those weapons to open cases or unsolved crimes. The general consensus was that any dead bodies riddled with bullets or sporting stab marks from the MC’s weapons-of-choice simply never turned up. No body, no crime… and no evidence.
“How did you get it?” Mac said.
“I stole it when he was drunk,” Spider said. “I’d made an extra copy of his apartment key and he never even knew I’d been there. I heard that he thought that he’d lost the gun while wandering the streets on a bender.”
“It was insurance?” Mac said. “To keep you safe?”
“Yeah. I was never sure what he might get in to his head to do or say about me or to me. I was pretty confident th
at I was safe because no way he’ll ever reveal that he’s gay… but a second layer of protection is never a bad idea.”
“Wow,” Mirrie said softly. “And he knows you have the gun?”
“Yep.” Spider grinned. “I explained to him that if anything remotely suspicious ever happens to me, my lawyer had a letter with my will. That letter blows the lid off every single dirty little secret that I have on Ace. So if I turn up dead, it goes to the press and the cops and the Fallen Angels clubhouse. If anything happens to me, then Ace is in effect signing his own death certificate.”
“Where’s the gun now?”
“In a safe deposit box in another city.”
“And Ace knows that?” Mac asked.
“He knows it’s hidden and that it’ll be sent to the police if I disappear or die under suspicious circumstances.” He met Mirrie’s eyes. “Or if you or Shane do.”
“Me?” she gasped. “Us?”
“Yeah. That’s what I told him that day you showed up here and I left for a few hours. I didn’t threaten to expose his sexual orientation or tell anyone about us – I told him about the gun. I told him that you got to stay in Denver and live your life… and that he and his psycho brothers were to stay the hell away from you. I told him that you’d be working for me and I’d be keeping an eye on you and if I heard one word from you about the MC sniffing around you – or even just showing their ugly faces – it was game over. If anything happened to either one of you, that weapon was going to end up in police hands and Ace would end up on a twenty-five-year stretch. If he was lucky.”
“Holy shit,” Mac said. “You hamstrung the Fallen Angels VP. You paralyzed the whole goddamn MC.”
“I did.”
Mac and Mirrie gazed at Spider some more, at a bit of a loss about what to say now. Finally, Mirrie cleared her throat.
“And the victim? The person that Ace killed? Who was it?”
Spider snorted. “The President of the Road Devils.”
That electrified them. The rivalry between the Fallen Angels and the Road Devils was legendary in the state. If word got out that Ace had killed the other MC’s President, then that would have been a rallying call to go to war. It would have been nothing less than a full-on bloodbath; it would have spilled in to the streets of Denver and innocent people would have been caught in the crossfire. The collateral damage would have been unimaginable.
Gentle Curves (Dangerous Curves Book 4) Page 10