The object of this new game was to become one with the object, animal, person, or action; to feel what it feels the way it feels it; to sense what it senses; move as it moves; to know what it knows; to merge with it and be it for a while.
What an awakening experience, and what fun! The hardest part was always giving up my selfhood.
Through hard practice and taking the necessary risks I eventually learned that I never really had a selfhood in the first place, except from a micro view.
I learned that you can't lose what you never really had in the first place, namely, yourself. Since your separateness is only an illusion created by choice, it is there whenever you think you want or need it. It can't possibly be lost or taken away from you.
People are fascinating to merge with, but also the most difficult, the most educational, and the most painful.
Objects are the most dangerous for adults. While children find life so exciting that they jump from adventure to adventure, adults sometimes weary of the challenges and risks of life. If, in this weary state, they merge with, say a huge oak or a lovely big stable rock, it is sometimes extremely difficult to want to come back out. And, since desire precedes action, one must want to be a person more than he wants to be an oak before he can come out of an oak back to being fully a person.
Back in 1976 I visited hospitals to practice healing. I used not only PK, but also clairvoyance, telepathy, the beginnings of precognition, and my newly developed ability to merge. As I walked up and down hospital corridors if I "future saw" the possibility of death coming quickly for a patient, I would try to remove this possibility. Interestingly, in attempting this I discovered the truth of free choice.
One afternoon I persuaded (with considerable telepathic effort) the head nurse and two interns that I should be allowed access to the intensive care unit, where I found Bruno. He was a small man of 45 years who was recovering from a heart attack of that morning. According to the intern who examined him he was coming along just fine. But as I examined him clairvoyantly his aura was extremely weak and I "future saw" him riding in a hearse while lying in a casket. Since both these symbols represented death I felt that I had better go to work on Bruno immediately. The moment I made contact I got quite a surprise.
Bruno had been lying quietly sleeping while I clairvoyantly examined him, but now as I reached out and touched his mind I heard him say, "Hello, Azar. It's been a long time since our paths have crossed."
Azar is the name I had in an Atlantean incarnation almost 50,000 years ago. I had been a temple priest in charge of healing. Now that I had been addressed by that ancient name I felt strongly that the mind I was now contacting had once occupied a body which I helped heal during that Atlantean incarnation. I said, "It seems that I remember you from a period in Atlantis which we shared, but how did you remember me so easily?"
With the conscious Bruno still sleeping I heard his subconscious mind saying, "If I were awake I would have no conscious memory of you. However, with my conscious mind asleep I have been free to observe ever since you entered this ward and began using telepathy to hypnotically persuade the intern to let you accompany him: I watched as you clairvoyantly examined some of the patients, and I remembered that your mind had once been clothed in a body called Azar and had healed me."
"I wasn't aware that I was being observed," I said.
"I know," Bruno answered. "Your conscious mind is still extremely limited compared to your Macro potential."
"But," I asked, puzzled, "how do you know about the Macro potential?"
"Because, dear and old friend, another cell of my soul is presently experiencing a life in 2150, which you so often visit. Yet another is deeply involved in establishing the separate culture on Micro Island. It needs to experience power and practice using it properly. By 2085 it will be dead, though," he went on.
"Wait a minute!" I stopped him. "You're here in 1976. You haven't made it to 2000 yet, much less beyond."
"No, Azar. It's you who have not yet gone beyond. I guess you've not yet truly incorporated the concept of simultaneous time into your growth pattern.
"Incidentally, I picked up from your mind your plan of attempting to prevent my evolation, which I am not going to let you do. I appreciated your help last time, but this time I don't want it."
"You mean that you don't want to live any more, and are choosing to die?"
"That's right," he answered. "And you'll find quite a few other minds in this hospital who are ready to give up their bodies."
"But why?" I asked. "You've only lived a relatively short time. You must have a family who will miss you."
Telepathically I heard him laugh and say, "When I incarnated, 45 years ago, I promised myself that I would accomplish my purpose as quickly as possible and then evolate. I've already stayed longer than I had planned."
"May I ask what your purpose was?" I inquired.
"I wanted to balance my vibrations. First I chose to be born to a woman who, in my twenty-first-century life, I will probably marry and abandon. In this life as her son I treated her kindly and have taken care of her for the last twenty years since her husband died. Six months ago she followed him."
"How can you balance negative vibrations you won't even create till fifty years in the future?" I wondered if his mind was deteriorating too.
"You will find, Azar, that the past, present, and future are all micro terms-illusions which do not exist from a Macro view. All time is simultaneous.
"Getting on with my answer to your first question, I was a jealous, possessive wife and made my husband's life a living hell. Now for twenty-five years I have been married to a woman who has done the same for me. My two children are grown and married and I leave my wife financially well off; so now I can evolate, having completed my chosen learning experience."
"But now that you've accomplished your purpose," I said, "why don't you stay around awhile and enjoy life?"
Again the sound of his laughter echoed through my mind and he said, "I go to a far better place than this planet Earth will ever be! I invite you to visit me when you perfect your astral traveling enough that you can visit some of the non-physical dimensions. 'Bye for now!"
Bruno's body convulsed; his lids snapped sharply open. Only the after-death tremors lingered. He had evolated. My whole being felt an instant of icy hollowness as I saw, staring up at me from his lifeless face, Nancy's liquid brown eyes.
Later in 2150 Rana explained that every human mind chooses when it wants to die. This choice, she explained, is not usually made, on the conscious level, but rather on the subconscious or soul level.
During the rest of the week I discovered that Bruno had been correct when he predicted that many other minds would refuse my offer to help heal their bodies. I was surprised at how many minds insisted on the value of suffering.
I remember a middle-aged woman who was seriously afflicted with arthritis. When I offered my help her subconscious mind replied, "Please don't remove my pain, for it is the motivation that will eventually force my micro self to give up its narrow selfish life habits which have psychologically crippled others and which are now crippling me. If you remove the pain I will have to start my lesson over, and I'd rather grow now."
I realized that this woman had never consciously permitted herself to be aware of these thoughts. If she could have heard her subconscious mind talking to me, she would have denied that this was her own greater self talking. When I asked her if she couldn't learn is some less painful way she replied, "I have not yet learned to accept responsibility for the harm I've done to others, so I keep taking the same old life lessons over and over. Eventually the pain will force me to break this "it's not my fault" cycle. Then I can admit my failure, forgive it, learn from it, and overcome it. It's been a long battle, but victory will come."
When I asked Rana about having to forgive yourself she explained forgiveness as acceptance. She said that when you forgive yourself you positively accept your mistakes and, thus, can learn to succee
d and grow from them. However, negative acceptance, resignation, leaves one burdened with guilt until it becomes necessary to escape by inducing amnesia. It is then impossible not to make the same mistake over and over again.
She was talking about the law of love which transcends the law of karma. Only by completely responding to ourselves with loving acceptance can we look at all the aspects of the self, which includes not only the micro self, but also the Macro self. And we can only see in others what we see in ourselves (even if only in potential) and we can only love (accept) others to the extent that we love (accept) ourselves.
It wasn't until I had examined every person in our university hospital that I accepted Rana's statement that "all illness and injury is self-inflicted."
I discovered that I could heal no one unless I could first persuade them to forgive themselves. Yet, I did find quite a few patients who were ready to forgive themselves. All of these healed in record time, causing considerable consternation among hospital personnel.
Human consternation, I have found, is always the result of a myth being threatened.
Since I had brought my journal up to date, Karl and Neda were becoming increasingly concerned about my forthcoming visit to Micro Island. Karl kept quoting passages that strengthened his warnings about the dangers involved, and I kept quoting passages that strengthened my resolve to go. Neda insisted that I would succeed and that there was no reason to worry about me. Finally it was obvious even to Neda that her constant assurances that I would succeed were an unfailing indication that she feared the opposite.
Fortunately, Griff and Judd visited us regularly and kept her occupied. Both were sincerely trying to live a new style of life. They had quit. their motorcycle gang and had taken jobs, Judd at an auto repair shop and Griff with a construction company. They were deeply interested in my further experiences in 2150.
At last the week ended and early one morning Carol and I said goodbye to our Alpha, our Beta, and most of our Gamma and began our run to the building at the end of the lake. As we passed each Gamma I saw more people than I had ever seen before in 2150, for almost everyone had turned out to send both vocal and telepathic messages of support to us.
As we approached the large administration building we could see the rest of our Delta gathered around our transair. I was moved by the tremendous outpouring of loving acceptance that many Macro beings could produce. As we made our way to the vehicle I saw standing beside it Rana, Eli, and my beloved Lea.
I ran to embrace Lea. We stood in complete silence with no one in the crowd making a sound as we fitted our minds into a union that only twin souls can ever attain. To me she was the most exquisitely lovely, completely satisfying woman who had ever lived. Overcome by my feelings and with tears on my face I kissed her gently. Then taking my face in her hands, she kissed me. It was the most enlightening kiss my soul had known since incarnating in matter.
Then Lea turned, touched Carol's face, and disappeared into the crowd. I shook hands with Hugo, our Delta, and Eli, our Ktar. I remembered seeing him when I met my Alpha members, then in his astral body as he visited his Kton, but I still had not spent further time with him, as I had longed to do. I was convinced that I had never beheld such a handsome and wise-looking man before. He took my hands, then embraced me firmly. He looked deep into my eyes for a long time and said, "You never asked, so, at Rana's request, no one ever told you, but the woman who has been your P.E. tutor is also our Mutar. She is, thus, a member of the Council of Three."
I must have looked strange, for I know my breath was gone as I remembered C.I. telling me that the Council of Three-which consisted of the three Mutars (leaders of 100 million) was composed of two men and one woman whose decisions were binding on all members of the Macro society.
I was stunned to learn that my very own tutor, Rana, was that one woman. No wonder her advocacy of level three entrance for me had been accepted. I looked at her with awe and a new sense of restraint.
She came over to me and took my hand saying, "Now you know why I hoped you would not learn of my other duties. We who have grown up in the Macro society do not feel awe or a sense of distance between us and our leaders. But I know that you were trained differently."
I found it difficult to say anything, but managed, rather lamely, "Will you still be my tutor when I get back from Micro Island?"
She said with a smile, "I will be your tutor as long as you both desire it and believe it possible."
Carol and I walked into our transair and set the sealing doors in motion.
Eli stepped out from the crowd. In my mind his rich full voice rang as though through a great hall.
"Thank you for your admiration, Jon. Know that it is returned.
"You should also know that during your 20th century a soul made a brief sojourn-just 30 years-for the solitary purpose of bearing a child.
"Having many other duties to tend to, she stayed just long enough to see her young son securely entrusted to the loving care of a soul you now call Karl Johnson."
The doors met and melded together and as we took off I could hear Eli answering my unspoken question.
"For what strength it may give you, my beloved son,... I am your mother."
CHAPTER 15: Micro Island
Three hours later we had traveled some 3700 miles and were approaching the northeastern shore of Micro Island. This large semi-tropical Pacific island had risen out of the ocean during the cataclysmic earth changes of the late 20th century. It was about half the size of 1976's Australia. The Macro society maintained a well-protected base on this eastern coast from which it carried on most of its contacts with the island's interior. Carol had explained that this base, where we were planning to land, was completely protected by an invisible force field which had effectively resisted all attempts to breach it. Now as we came in sight of this Macro society enclave I was startled to see it surrounded on its landward side by thousands of people.
"What an enormous number of people," I exclaimed. "Do the Micro Islanders usually gather in such numbers outside the Macro society base?"
"Not that I've heard of," Carol replied. "In fact, Micro Island has a law against coming within ten miles of our base. They used to patrol this zone with policemen and dogs."
"Well," I said, "either they repealed the law or there are an awful lot of lawbreakers down there."
The force field was momentarily removed and we descended into a clearing beside a Gamma building which was surrounded by about 1,000 acres of beautifully landscaped gardens and parkland with large swimming pools and recreation areas. As our transair touched down I saw a very tall man leave the building and run toward us. By the time we were on the ground he had reached us, and Carol introduced me to Orion, the Gammar of this base. She had talked with him during the past week via C.I. video, so now they seemed like old friends.
"Why the crowd?" I asked.
Orion answered, "It seems that President Elgon Ten has proclaimed an island holiday in honor of your visit. He and his Vice President, Sela Nine, are out there now waiting to greet you. I'm sorry there's no one else from the Macro society here, but all the rest of our Gamma is off in the interior using this holiday as an opportunity to tutor."
"What happened to the law against coming within ten miles of this base?" Carol asked.
"In honor of this occasion," Orion explained, "Elgon rescinded it for today."
"Why did they have a law like that in the first place?" I inquired.
"That's easy to answer," Orion replied. "Elgon and his assistants are afraid of our influence on their people. They don't want to lose anyone to the Macro society, so any islander who is caught talking with a member of the Macro society is punished severely."
"Are you that successful in getting recruits for the Macro society from here?" I asked.
He answered, "We might be if they didn't have that law. Even with it we find about a hundred people each year who are ready to go to the mainland."
Looking at the crowd packed outside t
he invisible force field I was surprised at the number of very small children who were permitted to gather among such a crowd without the supervision of their parents.
"Where are the parents of all those little ones, and why aren't they here looking after them?" I asked Orion.
"They're there, Jon, right along with the children," he answered. "You're just not used to seeing such large families. Here on Micro Island birth control is strictly forbidden. It's not unusual to see families with fifteen to twenty-five children. The more children a couple has, the greater their prestige."
"But why don't these people limit the size of their family to just the number of children that they can adequately clothe and care for? Just look at some of them," I remarked.
"Yes, I know," he replied. "They're the victims of their religions which denounce birth control as a mortal sin. The fact is, however, that Elgon would change that if he thought it would serve his purpose. Of course, it won't, for his purpose, publicly stated, is to outbreed the Macro society so he can justly claim the mainland as his territory."
"Don't the women get tired of being pregnant all the time?" Carol asked.
"Yes indeed, they do," Orion answered. "In fact one of our biggest problems with Elgon and his assistants is that they interfere with our distribution of birth control tablets to those who ask for them. You see, both Elgon and his assistants have highly developed telepathic and clairvoyant powers so if a man or woman even desires birth control tablets in their presence they are aware of it and the individual is punished the same as if he had talked to a Macro society member. You probably know that our birth control tablets render the person infertile for anywhere from one to five years, depending on which tablet is taken."
"In a culture like this it would be a blessing to be physically unable to bear children," Carol observed.
"Not really, Carol," he explained. "You see, any woman who is unable to bear children is used as a prostitute and forbidden to marry. That really brands her, for marriage is highly revered here. The only cause accepted for divorce is a woman's inability to bear children."
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