If Not for You

by Debbie Macomber

  “Good man,” Phillip whispered. “He loves you, treats you right. That’s what’s important.”

  Her mother dutifully followed him out the door with little more than a brief acknowledgment to Sunshine and Beth.

  Because she’d been busy every night, Beth decided to clean her apartment and do a couple loads of wash Friday morning. Sam had decided to work, as he got time and a half. Beth rolled out her vacuum cleaner when her phone rang. Caller ID told her it was her father.

  Her dad never called her. Half the time he didn’t even know where he kept his phone. Ninety-nine-point-nine percent of all communication came from her mother.

  “Hello?” Her answer was tentative. Her first thought was that her father had lost his phone and some stranger found her name in his contact list. She bet he only had three names in his contacts.

  “Beth, it’s your father,” he announced, as if she wouldn’t recognize his voice.

  “Dad. Anything wrong?”

  He hesitated. “Would it be all right if I stopped by your apartment?”

  “Of course. Do you need me to come get you?” Beth knew her parents were without a car.

  “No. No, I can take a cab, but I’ll need your address.”

  She said it twice and hoped he wrote it down. Her wonderful father could be terribly absentminded.

  “Dad,” she tried again, nervous now. “Is everything all right?”

  “I think so,” he told her.

  Beth remained unsettled. “Can you tell me what this is about?”

  He paused. “I want to talk to you about your mother.”

  “Okay.” That didn’t tell her much.

  “And apologize for the way she behaved yesterday.”

  “You’re welcome to stop by anytime, Dad.”

  “I’ll be there within the hour.”

  That gave her time to straighten up the apartment, not that it was terribly messy. She wasn’t at home often enough to require a lot of tidying up.

  By the time her father arrived, Beth had finished the vacuuming and had one load of wash finished and a second load in the machine. When the doorbell rang, she hurried to answer, opening it wide to greet her father. He had on the same suit that he’d worn the day before and it looked as if he’d slept in it. He needed a shave, too. Her mother would never have let him out of the hotel room in his current condition. Something was up and whatever it was didn’t bode well.

  “Where’s Mom?” she asked.

  Her father didn’t answer. “I could use a cup of coffee.”

  “Of course.” Beth moved into the kitchen and brewed them each a cup.

  “Make mine extra-strong.”

  “I’ll do my best,” she assured him, growing more curious by the moment. Carrying both mugs into the other room, she sat down on the sofa next to her father and waited.

  He took a tentative sip of the coffee, closed his eyes as though to savor it, and then said, “First off, I want to apologize again for your mother’s behavior.”

  “It’s all right, Dad. It was what Sam and I expected. I knew Mom would have a hard time accepting him.”

  He dismissed her easy acceptance. “I need to apologize to you, too. I’ve had my head in my work and didn’t realize how controlling of you your mother had gotten.”

  “It’s okay, Dad. She knows now I intend to be my own person.”

  “Yes, I heard about the conversation you had with her recently. She didn’t take kindly to it. I thought she was better, but after yesterday, I’m not so sure. I love your mother and I know you do, too. She means well, Bethie.”

  “I know, Dad.” He rarely used the pet name he had for her.

  “We had a long talk after we got back to the hotel, and I felt I needed to add my voice to yours. I let her know she was out of line with the way she questioned Sam and that I was disappointed in her.”

  “It didn’t go well, did it?”

  He shook his head. “Your mother is convinced you’re making a huge mistake loving Sam.”

  “You don’t agree with that, though, right?”

  “Don’t have a crystal ball, but from what I saw, you two looked like a fine couple to me.”

  “Thank you, Daddy.”

  “As far as I’m concerned and I told you mother this, she should get on her knees and thank God you found a hardworking, capable man like Sam. Her thinking is messed up. What’s important to her should be at the bottom of the list. And I told her so. After I gave her a few other things to think about,” he said, pausing as if to gauge her reaction, “I left the hotel and I spent the night elsewhere.”

  Shocked, Beth’s mouth sagged open and she found herself speechless. “Dad!” This was completely out of character for her father. He wasn’t the type of man to make such a dramatic statement.

  “Where did you go?” No wonder he looked like he’d slept in his clothes. He probably had and that was why he hadn’t shaved.

  “I found another hotel down the street. Not exactly the Ritz, but it served the purpose. I had peace and quiet and I didn’t need to listen to your mother’s endless chatter about you making a terrible mistake.”

  “Did Mom know where you were?”

  “No. I’m finished talking to her. Before I left, I said it was high time she made up with her sister and that the only person she’d hurt was herself; being angry all these years over something that happened when she was young was ridiculous. I told her that if anyone had messed up their life it was her.”

  Beth could hardly believe her father. This was probably the sincerest, most heartfelt conversation her father had had with her mother in years. She was about to say something more when her phone rang. She was tempted to ignore it until she recognized the number. Automatically her eyes shot to her father.

  “It’s Mom,” she told him. “Should I answer it?”

  He looked as undecided as she was. It rang a third time before her father reluctantly nodded. “Go ahead.”

  Beth grabbed it off the coffee table and accepted the call. “Hello?”

  “Beth, it’s Mom.” Ellie didn’t sound right. If she didn’t know better, Beth would think she had a bad cold or had been weeping.

  “Yes, Mom.”

  Ellie sucked in a sob.

  “Mom, are you all right?” Beth felt she had to ask. “Do you need anything?”

  “Yes, but that’s not the reason I called.”

  “Okay.” Beth made eye contact with her father and shrugged. She was fairly certain he was able to hear both sides of the conversation.

  “This isn’t easy for me, Beth.” Ellie took a moment to compose herself. “First off, I believe I did a brilliant job raising you. I sacrificed my entire life to take care of you in every way I knew.”

  Her father crossed his arms.

  “But that’s not the reason I called. I…want to apologize to Sam, but I don’t know his phone number, and so I’m asking you to let him know.”

  Phillip arched his brows and then gave her a thumbs-up sign. He looked rather pleased with himself.

  “What would you like me to tell Sam?” Beth asked her mother.

  Her mother sucked in a deep breath. “Just that I’m sorry. I was rude and arrogant. Those are the words your father used, and after giving it some thought I realize he’s right.”

  “You don’t like Sam,” Beth said, pushing the limits, unwilling to accept a token apology on his behalf.

  “I don’t know him well enough yet. I hope you’ll both give me the opportunity to correct his impression of me so that I’ll have a chance to do that. All I can say is that if you love him, then there must be more to Sam than meets the eye.”

  “There is, far more than you know.”

  “I figured so.”

  This was huge.

  Gigantic.

  Bigger than big.

  Her mother making this kind of concession went beyond words. Looking over at her father, Beth could see that he was equally impressed.

  “There’s something else you should
know,” her mother continued.

  “Okay,” Beth said, eager to hear more.

  “I had lunch with Sunshine.”

  “Did she call you or did you call her?” It would be easy enough to see her aunt reaching out with an olive branch.

  “I called her. We talked and it was good for us both.”

  “That’s wonderful, Mom.” Beth felt tears of gratitude gathering in her own eyes.

  “We ate at the hotel and then she suggested a massage. No wait, I suggested a massage and she knew just the person. I felt worlds better afterward…or I did until I returned to the hotel room.”

  “Did something happen at the hotel?” Beth asked.

  “Yes,” her mother said on the tail end of a hiccupping sob. “Your father wasn’t here. Sunshine felt sure he would have returned by now and he hasn’t and I don’t know where he is,” she blurted out all at once.

  “You don’t know where Dad is?” Beth played innocent.

  “No…I haven’t seen him since last evening after we returned from dinner. He was angry with me and then he left and I thought, I hoped, it would all blow over.”

  “Oh Mom, I’m so sorry.”

  “But he’s still not back and I don’t know what to think. He’s never done anything like this before. Oh Beth, I don’t know what I would do. I love him so much and I’m worried sick.”

  Maintaining eye contact with her father, Beth said, “I’m sure Dad will be back to the hotel soon. Don’t worry and don’t lose hope. Dad loves you.”

  “I love him more than I ever realized,” her mother continued.

  Her father widened his eyes.

  “Please don’t worry,” Beth said.

  “I love you, Beth,” her mother said, a bit less weepy now.

  “I know you do,” she assured her. “And I love you.”

  “I might have been misguided, but everything I did was because I wanted the very best for you.”

  “I know. Now listen, Mom, you need to relax. I’m sure Dad will return within the hour.” She looked to her father who nodded, his eyes warm and a bit misty. “And when he gets back, the two of you can talk again,” Beth added. “You’ll be able to square things with him and you can make a fresh start.”

  Her mother released a tiny sob.

  “Call me if you need me, okay?”

  “Okay,” her mother agreed. “Thank you, love.”

  “You’re welcome, Mom.”

  Beth disconnected and set the phone aside. “It sounds like Mom took your words to heart.”

  Her father seemed ten times better than when he’d first arrived. The light was back in his eyes. He looked as if he’d been informed he had the winning numbers in the lottery. What Beth recognized in her father was hope.

  “I better get back to the hotel,” he said.

  “Let me drive you.”

  “No, no.” His refusal was automatic. “I’ll get a cab. I don’t want to take a chance of your mother knowing I was with you and overheard your conversation.”

  Beth smiled. “You devil,” she teased.

  Her father laughed and hugged her. “Love you, kiddo.”

  “I know you do, Dad. Love you back.”

  He kissed her forehead. Beth contacted a cab company and gave them her address and ten minutes later her father was on his way.

  As soon as he was out the door, Beth called her aunt. Sunshine answered after the first ring.

  “You heard what’s going on with your mother?” she asked without greeting Beth.

  “Yes, Mom called me just now. I’m still in shock.”

  “You?” Sunshine said with a laugh. “You could have knocked me over with a string bikini when Ellie invited me to lunch. And that’s not all she did.”

  “I heard the two of you went for a massage.”

  “We did far more than that. We talked, Beth, really talked for the first time in nearly thirty years. I have my sister back and I couldn’t be happier.”

  “That’s wonderful.”

  “I think so, too, and you’re the one who brought us together, the love we share for you.”

  Sunshine said she couldn’t be happier but Beth was the one beaming now.

  —

  Later that evening, when Beth saw Sam, she told him the unbelievable events of the afternoon.

  “Well, your day was definitely more eventful than mine.”

  “That’s not all,” Beth said.

  “You mean there’s more?”

  “Yup. Dad phoned just a few minutes ago and asked if you and I can join him and Mom for dinner tonight. There’s a fabulous steakhouse in town he knows about and he wanted to treat us. Sunshine is invited, too.”

  “That’s good news, isn’t it?” Sam asked. “I mean for your parents. If they’re inviting us to dinner, then they must have come to some kind of agreement, right?”

  “I believe they have.”

  “Do you see what you’ve done?” he said, holding her by the shoulders, his eyes filled with pride.

  “Me?”

  “By standing up for yourself, you were able to bring your parents together.”

  “Maybe.” Beth was willing to accept a small role in the improved relationship between her parents.

  “Then you brought everything to a head once again when you introduced me. Your mother recognized you weren’t going to back down from loving me.”

  “And I won’t,” Beth assured him.

  “I’d be upset if you did, babe. We got something good, you and me.”

  “Yes, we do,” Beth agreed.

  “Now if we’re going out for this fancy steak dinner I had better get home and change clothes. Might even put on the suit I wore for my sister’s wedding. Really shock your mother; I clean up good.”

  “I have the feeling it’s going to be a much more pleasant meal for us all.”

  “Think you’re right about that, babe.” His smile ate her up.

  “Could you tell me you love me again?” Beth asked.

  “Why? Are you feeling insecure?”

  “No, I just like to hear the words.”

  He chuckled. “Love you, babe.”

  “Love you, too.”

  He leaned in to kiss her and her heart swelled with love and appreciation. Sam was going to love her even more once she was able to deliver her Christmas surprise. She could hardly wait.

  CHAPTER 35

  Sam

  Beth had cooked up some kind of Christmas surprise for him and she wasn’t giving him any hints. He had something for her, too, but it would need to wait until after the holidays. Everything had been going well between them since Thanksgiving. He was busy with work and the volunteer projects Beth had introduced him to over the last couple months.

  Beth was deeply involved with her students at the high school. She took a personal interest in her piano students, especially a twelve-year-old girl named Kameron.

  Sam had made peace with Beth’s mother and things were good on the home front. From tidbits of conversation with both Sunshine and Beth, he’d learned that Phillip and Ellie were eager to have Beth home for Christmas. Beth had mentioned that her father had signed him and Ellie up for a cruise to the South Pacific as a surprise Christmas gift. They would be sailing sometime in January.

  Sam hated the thought of Beth being in Chicago for two weeks. He would miss her terribly. More and more he was feeling confident that they were meant to be together. She’d become a big part of his world, and he couldn’t imagine life without her now. Crazy, seeing how he’d sworn never to get involved in another romantic relationship. He’d given up until he’d met Beth.

  On Saturday, the day before Beth was due to fly to Chicago and join her family for the Christmas and New Year’s holidays, she asked him to accompany her to some piano function. She seemed excited about it, and while sitting and watching kids at a recital wasn’t high on his entertainment list, for Beth, he was willing. Truth was he’d do just about anything for this woman and she knew it.

  He picked
her up around five. When she opened the door, his heart leapt as he was struck once again by her beauty. Whatever he’d done to deserve this woman must have been really good. She was beautiful. She wore a red dress with an angel pin clipped at the base of her throat. In many ways he saw her as an angel.

  His angel.

  “You look…wow.” He couldn’t find words adequate enough to describe how lovely she was.

  As expected, Beth blushed. It was hard not to take her in his arms and kiss her senseless. The temptation was strong but he resisted, knowing it would be hard to stop and they were on a schedule. First this recital and then dinner with Rocco and Nichole at some new restaurant the girls wanted to try. Sam was game for the simple reason that he would be with Beth. In the morning, he’d drive her to the airport and off she’d go to Chicago.

  Beth gathered her coat and had the address for the music performance. Her mood was almost giddy.

  “Any of these your students?” he asked.

  “No, these are more advanced. Kameron should be at this level by next year.”

  He wasn’t sure why it was so important that Beth attend when none of her own students were part of the program, but he didn’t question it. She’d made friends with several music teachers in the area and he supposed she was looking to support a newfound friend.

  Thanks to Beth, he’d been working with Habitat for Humanity on Jazmine’s house and he’d spent more than one weekend with a group of volunteers. Beth often joined him. He’d even managed to involve a couple guys from work. In the beginning, they’d complained, but all it took was one Saturday. Since that time a number of his work crew had become volunteers themselves. Doing something for someone else. Giving back was addictive.

  Sam drove to the address for the school that Beth provided. They had a hard time finding a parking spot and barely made it in time. Beth took the program offered at the front door of the auditorium and he followed her inside. Because they were a few minutes late, the only available seats were in the back. That suited Sam fine. He could lean back, close his eyes, and snooze during what was sure to be a long hour.

  He had zoned out for the majority of the program when Beth elbowed him in the ribs. “Pay attention,” she whispered. “This is the girl we came to hear.”