“Yeah. It doesn’t matter what I look like. Not when we have a chance to save Sam from velvet knickers! Let’s go!”
They rushed out the door, shouting dire warnings about the need to upload the video somewhere and save it. The screen door slammed behind them, and then it was silent.
The rest of the group looked at each other.
“Well,” Frog said, a little testily. He was still mad no one believed him, and no one was going to say how clever he was for getting the video! After all, he had gotten it, even if he didn’t know it. He should get some credit.
“We need a plan!” Eli said.
“Yeah! And fast!” Jax scratched a mosquito bite. “How does a citizen’s arrest work in real life?”
Lucy put her hands up, calling a halt. “Let’s think this through before doing anything too crazy.”
Elon looked indignant. “What makes you think we’re going to do something crazy? Just because this creep is engaged in major criminal deception involving the bribery of a corporate entity, not to mention breaking the hearts of some of my favorite people, what crazy thing would we do?”
“Punch him in the nose?” Frog offered.
“Put him in the stocks in the town square!” Eli added. He was reading Johnny Tremain and kept talking about the Revolutionary War.
“Poop on him!” Frog screamed, overcome.
Alex fell to the floor laughing. “Poop! On him!” she repeated, rolling around.
“Gentlemen! Oh, and lady,” Lucy added. “Calm down. We need to get ready for Sam’s play; we can figure out the video after. Right, Elon?”
“But what if he leaves?” Frog said, his voice squeaky with panic. “He said ‘Labor Day at the latest’! And that’s soon, right?”
“It’s the day after we leave,” Eli said. “Only a few days away!”
“Don’t worry, guys. We have the video, and he’s not going to disappear,” Lucy said.
“But I want to see him squirm! I want him to get owned. Right here on the island,” Alex said. Jax and Eli nodded.
Lucy was about to answer when Lili flew into the room, chasing a fly. She gave a low caterwaul, then launched herself at the wall, hitting it above Frog’s head, before pushing off and bounding into the kitchen. They all stopped and stared at the cat as she tore around the house.
“That cat’s insane,” Alex said. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”
The sounds of mad scuffling came from the kitchen, and Zeus ran out with Lili in fast pursuit.
Lucy looked dazed. “I’ll say,” she answered, shaking her head.
Jax looked over at Alex. “Hey! Did you know that video Val made of Lili has gone totally viral! It’s all over the Internet….There have been, like, a million views.”
“I wonder if there’s more on my video,” Frog said, still feeling proud he had turned on the camera, even though he hadn’t known it. “Maybe Val can make another one.”
Elon stared at him. “What did you say, big man?” he asked, his eyes fixed on Frog.
Frog felt important. “Maybe Val can make another video of Lili from my camera. I mean, the one from the camera on my head. The one that has the bad Kark stuff,” he clarified, because Elon was still staring at him.
Then Elon started to laugh. It began as a kind of quiet chuckle, but then turned into a full-blown HAHAHAHAHA that had Jax and Eli laughing too, even though nobody knew what was so funny. Sir Puggleton started to bark.
“THAT’S IT!” Elon bellowed finally. “The YouTube channel! It’s gotten a million hits, and there’s a link to it from the Rock Island Chamber of Commerce. We can upload the video of Kark’s conversation there, and let the public see for themselves!”
Lucy smiled slowly, then burst out laughing. “Well, that’s a thought. What’s the worst that can happen? It’s pretty clear-cut….Thank goodness this island has such terrible phone reception. The man was practically screaming. I say we do it.” She looked at Elon’s watch. “But we have to hurry. We can’t be late for the play.”
The two of them rushed into the office with the camera.
In the living room, Jax, Eli, Alex, and Frog looked at each other.
Frog scowled. He still hadn’t gotten any praise for his video, and none of his stupid brothers had even said he was right. It had sounded like Kark said containers. So what if it had actually been condiments or whatever?
Jax walked over and solemnly held out his hand. “Frog Fletcher, you were right. You did hear that trash-head say he was going to make millions tearing down the lighthouse. I give you full credit as the best detective the Fletcher family has.”
Frog beamed. “I know,” he said, and shook his brother’s hand, hard.
Eli loved A Midsummer Night’s Dream. It was way better than the rehearsal, and frankly way better than it had sounded when Sam tried to explain it. After all, Sam kept going on about lovers and fairy queens and stuff that sounded bizarre for a play, and even more bizarre for Sam to care about. But somehow the story—and especially Sam’s totally wild and funny Puck—was way better than Eli had expected. He managed to forget about Kark and the lighthouse and the video for a little while, as the characters were bewitched, fought over stupid things, and, best of all, got messed with by Sam, who crept among them like a weird, grinning imp, squeezing magic potion in their eyes to make them fall in love with the wrong people. Eli noted with relief that Sam was not wearing a wig or a pair of velvet knickers. Instead he was painted a pale bluish white and wore raggedy green silk pants and a dark undershirt-type thing. He looked strong and dangerous and strange…a good look, Eli thought, for the totally troublemaking Puck. His master, the fairy king Oberon, also looked cool. He was played by a guy with a beard and sand-colored dreadlocks who Eli knew was a lifeguard on Surf Beach. He loomed over everyone, tall and disdainful-looking, as Sam bounced and jumped and ran around him like some wild pet.
It was intermission before Eli knew it, and he blinked in the sudden brightness of the theater lights. All around him people were standing up, chattering and laughing. In front of him, Alex and Val turned around and pointed.
“There he is! Look!” Alex whisper-shouted. She pointed toward the stage, where, sure enough, Chase Kark and his terrible green shorts were standing.
“We need to tell people! We need to—” Val started, but Alex pulled her back.
“We took care of it. Trust us.” She turned to the Fletchers and Elon. “Let’s go out to the lobby. And bring your phone,” she added to Lucy, winking.
Lucy winked back and they began to push through the crowd.
“Wasn’t Sam terrific?” Dad asked, when he had caught up to Eli, Jax, and Frog. “What did you guys think of your brother?”
“He was sick,” Jax said. “Totally cool. But what’s with those stupid ‘youths of Athens,’ or whatever? They’re seriously weak. Especially that Demetrius guy. What a loser.”
“He’s not a loser. He’s been magicked. It happens,” Eli said, but Jax just shrugged. “Whatever. They’re all nuts. When’s the guy getting turned into a donkey? I can’t wait for that part!”
They made it to the lobby, which was crowded with Rock Island regulars, from Captain Jim to Officer Levee. It was hot and loud, with, Eli thought, far too many people kissing and hugging and yelling hellos. The island was only ten miles long! How much time could it have possibly been since they had all seen each other last? Dad and Papa disappeared into the throng.
Eli grimaced as Jax accidentally stepped on his foot.
“Sorry. I’m trying to see if we can find any of the town council people,” Jax said, standing on tiptoe and trying to look over Eli’s head.
Eli, who was still several inches taller, looked over Jax and into the crowd. “I don’t see any— Wait! There’s Kark!” He punched Jax to get his attention. “Right near Dad and Papa and Frog! Come on, let’s go!”
Grabbing Alex and Val, who were trying to convince their babysitter to get them lemonade and homemade chocolate chip cookies from the c
oncession stand, they headed off through the crowded lobby. On the far side of the room, Lucy, Elon, Dad, and Papa were talking to a bunch of other grown-ups, right next to Kark, who was on his phone.
“Dad!” Jax called as they got closer.
“Papa!” Eli said at the same time.
“Jason, we really need to—” Alex started.
Papa and Dad both held up their hands. “Whoa! Let’s try again, this time with manners,” Dad said. “Alex and Val, it’s great to see you both. Val, your costume idea for Sam’s Puck was perfect! He looks terrific. Way better than that knickers thing he had going on. He owes you.”
Val waved him off impatiently. “Thanks, but not now! We need to show—”
Dad spoke over her. “Hold up there, Val. We were just introducing Elon. Elon Reynolds, Carol Chittenden and Bruce Colvin.”
The grown-ups shook hands and said how-do-you-do type things. Carol asked Elon where he was from, and before long Elon was talking about his career as a magician, traveling around on giant cruise ships and to clubs in Las Vegas. Usually Eli loved hearing Elon talk about his job. After all, how many magicians did you get to meet in your life? And Elon was always doing fun things like taking someone’s watch right off their wrist or their belt off their pants without them knowing. But today Eli could only look at Kark’s terrible green shorts and worry about what was going to happen next. To his horror he saw that, next to his stupid tan legs in their green shorts, Kark had a suitcase on wheels that he was keeping very close. Maybe Frog was right! Maybe Kark was leaving the island! They couldn’t let him get away.
Eli pushed himself into the middle of the grown-ups. “We have to show you something!” he shouted, trying to be heard over their chatter.
He felt a hand on his head, heavy and reassuring. Looking up he saw Elon smiling down at him. Elon winked.
“The kids made another great video,” he said, his deep voice full of hidden laughter. “And I…errm…took the liberty of getting it ready for you.” He grinned.
“Check your phone,” Elon said to Carol.
Carol reached down to unsnap her straw purse. She peered inside. “It’s not here!” she cried in surprise.
“That’s odd,” Elon said, but he was grinning even wider. “Bruce, why don’t you check your back pocket?”
Looking startled, Bruce reached behind him and, with a laugh, pulled out a bright pink flowered phone case. “Well, this isn’t mine,” he said, handing it to Carol.
“How on earth?” Carol asked, staring at Elon. “I don’t remember you moving this whole time! How did you get behind Bruce?”
Elon laughed and held his hands up, the picture of innocence. “The illusion is always about keeping the attention off where the real action is happening,” he said, rocking back on his heels.
Eli noticed Elon rocking closer to Kark and the suitcase. He squinted at Elon. What did he have in mind?
Dad and Papa laughed, but Lucy punched Elon on the arm. “You can’t steal Carol’s phone! I used to babysit for her kids! There has got to be some rule about family friends!”
Carol shook her head, smiling. “Nonsense! That was the best trick I’ve ever seen.”
Elon smiled. “Oh, there’s all kinds of tricks,” he said. “Now, you should check out that video. Those Fletcher kids are really something.”
Carol turned on her phone and burst out laughing. “You seem to have the video all cued up! I guess I shouldn’t ask how you did that,” she said, shaking her head again. “You are one tricky man, Mr. Reynolds.”
Elon smiled his sleepy smile and pretended to take a hat off his head, making a long, low bow and stretching his arms out wide. “I try, Ms. Chittenden,” he said. “I try.”
Carol pressed Play, and soon the sound of splashing water and the occasional cawing gull came through. Then, loud and clear, came Kark’s voice.
Eli closed his eyes and listened.
“What—” Carol began, but Bruce shushed her.
Next to them, Kark stiffened and froze in place.
Elon’s smile grew.
“I—I don’t understand,” Bruce stammered. “What…? How…? Where…?”
Dad looked like he had been hit by a two-by-four. “Boys?” he asked.
“It doesn’t matter where it came from! What matters is that this…this…,” Carol sputtered.
“Officer Levee! Officer Maws! Can you come over here please!” Bruce called across the lobby. The two officers came strolling over.
Eli watched as Kark made a sudden dash for the door. But he didn’t get far.
“AAAARRRGGH!” He bellowed, falling forward on his face.
Chase Kark was not a small man, nor a graceful one. He fell like a tree. Carol, Bruce, Dad, Papa, and Lucy sprang out of the way as he dropped, but Elon stayed in place, one hand casually on Kark’s suitcase.
“What? WHO DID THIS?” Kark yelled.
Eli looked down at him and burst out laughing. Kark’s shoelaces had been looped together and through the wheels of his suitcase. He wasn’t going anywhere.
“This is outrageous! To think that this…this…this OFF-ISLANDER thought that he could tear down our lighthouse and build condominiums! Why, there will be a full criminal inquiry, starting Monday!” Bruce bellowed.
“Monday is the Labor Day picnic,” Carol said distractedly, “and you’re in charge of the lobster races. But Tuesday…Tuesday we will begin legal proceedings against him!”
“And add a citizen’s arrest for his terrible shorts,” Dad added.
Lucy burst out laughing.
“I still don’t understand—” Bruce began. But just then the lights in the lobby began flashing on and off.
“Oh! The second act of the play is starting!” Papa said. “I almost forgot we were in the middle of A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Seems like we’re in the middle of a late-summer night’s mystery! Someday, hopefully, someone can explain what just happened there,” he added as they walked back to their seats.
“But what about him?” Jax asked, pointing at Kark, who was struggling, red-faced and livid, to undo his shoelaces. Apparently Elon had made some very tricky knots.
“Mr. Kark, you can wait out here with me,” Officer Levee said. She wasn’t smiling, but Eli got the feeling that she was plenty happy. “We can talk, if you’d like. But I should, of course, remind you: you have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an attorney…” Her voice drifted away as Eli walked back into the theater. It was time to watch the rest of the play.
—
The play got better and better. The country bumpkin actors were ridiculous, and the one who got turned into a donkey was the funniest of all, strutting around like a rock star and making Elon laugh so hard that the people in the row ahead of them told him to quiet down.
Finally, with Puck’s help, all the humans found themselves in love with the right person, and the dumb donkey-headed guy was normal again, and everyone was happy. Then Sam stood onstage, staring out at them, otherworldly and awesome with his face paint and tattered costume. He spoke.
“If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumber’d here,
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend:
If you pardon, we will mend.”
The theater was totally silent. Then, with no warning, Sam leapt up onto a rope and was gone, leaving the empty stage behind.
—
That night, once the Fletchers had hugged Lucy and Elon goodnight and promised Val and Alex that they would see them in the morning, once they had taken Sam out for his celebratory three-scoop chocolate-marshmallow-whipped-cream sundae, once they had driven the dark, winding shore road back to the Nugget, Eli lay in bed. Around him the slow breathing of his brothers rustled the silence. Frog gave an incomprehensible babble, then rolled over and fell back asleep.
But Eli was awake. The light from Rock Island lighthouse swung through the room, momentarily illuminating the sloping walls and pinned-up posters. Eli was too excited to sleep. Sure, they had to leave in two days. They would be leaving Anna the seal, and Captain Jim and Julia, who was staying on at the marine lab for a semester before returning to college. They would be leaving the kayaks and the satisfying dip and swoop of the paddles in the water. They would be leaving the Galindo girls, who had become an unforgettable part of the summer.
But Eli wasn’t sad. They were going back to Shipton. Back to Teddy and Jamil and Shipton Upper Elementary, back to his own cozy bed with no sand in it and only Jax to share a room with. Back to emails with Anna Bean and a chance to work on his giant Lego model. He sighed and stretched, rolling over to try to look out the window. A fingernail moon hung in the sky, providing just enough light to see the lighthouse gleaming whitely against the sky. Eli remembered the play, and Sam’s words. Parts of this summer felt like a dream, like some kind of crazy adventure that had happened to some other, wilder family. It had been exciting, that was for sure. But, he thought, as he let his body melt into the slightly sandy sheets, it would be good to get back to the way things used to be.
Leaving Rock Island at the end of summer vacation was always awful. Even though Jax was psyched to see his friends at home, the packing, chasing down of lost soccer balls, mad cleaning, and general mayhem that was required to get six Fletchers out of the Nugget made a sad day even worse. Add the early-morning departure, and usually at least one boy was crying and another in a rage before they even got out of the driveway. But finally they were at the ferry dock with Lucy and Elon, almost ready to say their last goodbyes. They stood outside the car, waiting to unload the animals and carry-on bags.
Lucy clapped her hands and glanced at Elon. “Before anyone goes anywhere, there’s something we need to tell you guys,” she said, looping her arm through Elon’s. “It’s not completely finalized, but Elon and I are pretty sure it’s going to work.” She took a deep breath and paused.
The Family Fletcher Takes Rock Island Page 16