by Juli Valenti
As she entered, she discovered her sanctuary no longer held any appeal to her. Looking around in the darkness, taking in the small studio space, Jessie realized that this had never been ‘home’ to her. It was just a new place, a new state, for her ghosts. After staying with Dominick the night before, and spending the day with him, it seemed so…sad in this place. She couldn’t believe that just the day before it had been her haven – now she didn’t want to be there at all.
Tears falling freely, she moved to the bathroom, not bothering to turn on a light as she peeled off the ocean-wet clothes as she went and discarded them carelessly on the floor. She turned the water heat on high, and stepped into the shower. Jessie stood unmoving, letting the hot spray wash away her tears, along with the lingering scent of Dominick off her skin.
After what could have been days, the water turned cold and she angrily shut it off. Jessie grabbed a towel, haphazardly dried herself, and walked back into the living space. Confused, she realized a light was on – she’d left it dark, hadn’t she? Her eyes took in the small room, and at the counter of her small kitchen stood Dominick.
Chapter Eighteen
“How…how did you get here?” she stuttered in shock.
“The door,” he murmured, staring at her. It took a moment for her to realize that she was still holding the towel, instead of wearing it. She quickly wrapped it around herself. Dominick shook his head, as if to clear it, and started again. “It was open – I called out, but you didn’t hear me over the running water.”
Jessie glanced around, embarrassment flooding her at the sight of him in her small, pathetic space. It took every ounce of self she had to not start trying to pick things up. The damage had already been done – he’d been here for who knew how long. Besides, it’s not like she had anywhere to put things. The pallet on the living room floor was the only ‘furniture’ in the place other than the built-in appliances in the kitchen. She’d never bothered with buying anything else; no one was ever in her apartment, so there was no use for any of it.
“Ok…why are you here, then?” Jessie’s tone was snarky as she asked, the pain she felt showing through her words.
“I want you, Jessie,” he responded, his voice full of a breathy desperation.
“No, you don’t, Dominick. It’s okay. Really – you don’t have to charge over with a boom-box on your shoulder and serenade me outside the window. I get it. I’m sorry that I’ve pushed you, teased you, or made you feel pressured from guilt. I just can’t help it – you make me feel more alive than I’ve felt in…well… never mind.” Her words came out fast, trying to get her point across before her voice started shaking – before he realized that it really hurt to say these things. He may not want her, but she wanted him.
“Jessie, stop talking and listen to me a second.” He moved toward her as he spoke, hands out as if to touch her. “At the beach, your smile…” his voice trailed off for a moment before he took a deep breath and started again. “You were so happy that you were radiant…so much so that you put the gorgeous sunset to shame. You were carefree, nothing touched you there. God, Jessie, I can’t believe you think I don’t want you, or worse that you think you’ve pressured me with guilt. How could you even think that? Haven’t I shown you that I want you? I’ve made it pretty clear, I thought, that I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you.”
She closed her eyes as she remembered the peace she felt at their beach, his insistence at getting her to go out with him, but her heart dropped as she remembered his rejection tonight. She opened her mouth to say something, but Dominick interrupted her before she got the chance.
“No, Jessie. You just don’t get it. I want you. You’re already mine.” He closed the distance between them and pulled her mouth to his. His lips pressed against hers, hard, and he drew his tongue across hers, seeking entrance. She opened to him, their kiss turning into something more, heated. She kissed him back, her face still cradled in his hands, her hands holding his arms for support. He pulled back to look at her, his eyes searching her face as he ran his thumb across her swollen lip.
“Come home with me,” he whispered, their faces close.
“Oh, I don’t know about that, you know. I mean…you said before,” she teased him.
“Screw what I said before. You have two minutes to get dressed, or you’ll be wearing that towel on the drive.” He chuckled and swatted her lightly on the behind. “Less than two minutes now.”
“Yeah, like you would really take me out, dripping wet, in a towel. Sure thing, buster,” she called as she pulled random clothing out of a pile on the floor next to her makeshift bed. Dropping her towel, she heard Dominick cough, and glanced over her shoulder to see him trying hard to not look at her bare body. It was her turn to laugh as she threw on a maxi dress, grabbed a brush to run through the wet length of her hair, and turned to him.
“Okay,” she said simply.
He walked to her, taking her hand and tugging her close, kissing her once more. She cursed herself as she melted into him. She could have sworn he had some sort of magic power. All he had to do was kiss her and she turned to putty, maybe worse, possibly complete liquid. They broke apart, both breathing hard, and Dominick laughed again.
“We need to go.”
“Okay, lead on. OH wait, where did you put your boom box?” she teased him, opening the door.
“Mmhmm, laugh on, pretty girl, laugh on.”
She locked the door behind them, and followed Dominick down, his hand comfortingly holding hers. If she were being honest with herself, she was a little nervous to go home with him, but nothing was going to keep her from going. Besides, at this point, he already said it - she was his.
***
The drive to his place seemed to go by ridiculously fast to Jessie. Every minute they got closer to his place, she got more and more nervous, which irritated her. The nerves she felt, though, weren’t the ones she thought she would have. She wasn’t afraid of going to bed with him, or even the intimacy. No, she was nervous about something else completely. It had been a long time since she’d been with a man, not counting the night before. Though she’d been married before, she wasn’t what she would consider experienced. She’d only ever been with her husband, he’d been her first love…her first everything. Her first real dose of what she had thought love was. God, she’d been a fool. She felt more for Dominick, in the last few weeks she’d known him, than she ever had for Ryan. Without the buffer of ‘love’ she was afraid she wouldn’t be good enough. How many women had he had? Obviously he was gorgeous and everyone liked him.
What if she was bad? Shut it, Jessie. You’re not an apple that sat on a shelf too long. You don’t ‘go bad,’ she scolded herself internally, attempting to squash the jitters that were forcing her hands to shake.
“Hey, frown-face – you getting out of the car?” Dominick’s words interrupted her thoughts, and color flooded her face as she looked up to see him leaning against the frame of her door.
“Of course, sorry – got lost for a moment,” she responded, reaching for her bag as she climbed out. He snagged the bag before she could get a good grip, slinging it over his shoulder with a wink, and locked the car. The chime of the key fob was loud in the quiet of the night.
Looking up, Jessie saw the dark expanse of the sky alight with the brilliance of the stars. Out here, the light pollution of downtown was less, making it peaceful and beautiful. The moon was just shy of full now, its illumination framing the picturesque sight. A sigh of relief escaped her as the last of her nerves disappeared. This was where she wanted to be, where she needed to be. This was where she belonged…where she didn’t feel so lost and alone. With Dominick, she didn’t feel quite so ruined.
Turning, she caught Dominick’s soft gaze on her, full of an unnamed emotion. When their eyes met, he smiled and motioned her inside. Following him inside, she breathed deep, relishing in how quickly his home had become safe for her. It was as if she fought her demons here and it was now a bubble.
A new life bubble.
“Make yourself at home,” Dominick said from the hallway, as she kicked her shoes off by the door.
“Already did, thanks though,” she said absently, following him. She noticed that he had photos on his walls, each framed. Some looked to be family photos, some of him and his friends, even one of him and Mr. C. In all of them, Dominick’s smile was brilliant, happy, untouched by hardship. Must be nice, she thought.
“You think you’re funny.” His voice came softly by her ear, as his hands snaked around her from behind.
“I am funny…I’m a comedian, you should come watch my stand-up act sometime,” she said back, relaxing into him.
He grunted at her joke and, making no effort at a comeback, he lowered his head, placing his lips gently on her neck. With the warmth of his kiss, her body melted and she twisted in his arms to face him. Jessie’s eyes searched his face, for what she wasn’t sure and she didn’t linger to figure it out. Instead, she looped her arms around his neck and rose on her toes to kiss him. Their mouths touched, the kiss gentle, teasing. After a moment, Dominick lightly pushed her, pressing her back up against the wall, his mouth opening hers. His hands were firm on her hips, holding her, and she couldn’t help the groan that sounded from her throat.
He paused, breaking for air, his eyes blazing with passion and lust. He swallowed hard before speaking.
“Jessie, I have to know. Do you want this? Me? Tell me you want me, and not just as an escape. I don’t want to take advantage of you but I can’t help wanting you. I want you. I wanted you last night, I wanted you this morning, and I wanted you today at the beach. Want me, Jessie…want me like I want you.” His voice was pleading, almost begging her for the words he needed to hear.
“Dominick, I want you—” she started, but his mouth crushed back down on hers, stopping any words she may have had left to say. Along with her words, he stole her breath as well.
Chapter Nineteen
Dominick’s kiss was searing, passionate, consuming. His hands roamed her body, fervently touching every inch of her while his tongue explored her mouth. Jessie had never experienced such heat, and she broke the kiss, unable to breathe.
“Dominick, I need…I need…” she panted, pushing him back so some space. “I need to breathe a second.”
She stood, taking in the sight of him. His hair was rumpled from her hands, his shirt twisted and askew. His chest, heaving with his panting breaths, caught her rapt attention. So I’m not the only one affected, she thought to herself, a smile blooming on her face. His eyebrow arched at her smirk, but he didn’t question her, giving her the time she needed to gather herself.
“Okay,” she whispered, her eyes locking with his.
“Okay?” he asked, taking a step toward her again. “Jessie, there’s no rush. No pressure, not from me – never from me.”
Jessie took the time to really think about what he was asking. She was absolutely sure she wanted this. She hadn’t lied to him when she told him she wanted him. Dominick made her feel special, normal, less of the ruined woman she knew she was. It was like with him, her past wasn’t as vivid. Sure, it was still there, still haunting her thoughts and her soul, but it was faded, like an antique photograph. She felt like she could breathe with him.
She chuckled softly at that thought, seeing as how she was seconds past wanting to put her hands on her knees to catch her breath. She knew, though, that this was right. It felt right…just perhaps not against the wall. She was certain if he continued to kiss her like this, her legs would turn to Jell-O before they went any further.
“Yes, I’m sure…though, maybe not here, against the wall, with your family photos looking at us. I’m also pretty sure that if I melt into a puddle here on the floor that might ruin the moment.” Her voice had steadied as she answered him.
“Hmm, you may be right,” he conceded, his eyes darting up to the photo of his uncle above her head. “While I love my uncle, I could see as how that could be awkward.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, letting his finger trace a path down her jaw. “But you need to remember, Jessie. You will be a puddle when I’m finished with you. Come on.” With that, he smiled, took her hand, and pulled her toward his bedroom.
The moment they crossed the threshold of the room, Jessie shut the door behind her, then turned to find Dominick right in front of her. Instinct almost had her stepping back, but she fought it, instead leaning into him. Her hands trembled, in excitement or nerves she wasn’t sure, as she moved them to rest on his waist.
“Hey,” he whispered softly, using a finger to lift her face to meet his. She hadn’t even realized she’d been staring at her feet instead of him. The look she found on his face was so tender, concerned, yet his eyes were still heated.
Pushing all her thoughts aside, Jessie moved on tiptoe and placed a soft kiss on his mouth. The electricity in that simple gesture shook her. Something shifted in her and she pressed harder, opening his mouth so their tongues met. He groaned into her mouth and turned her, backing her up toward the bed. When the backs of her knees hit the mattress, she jolted to a stop, gasping into his mouth. She fell back, using her feet to scoot up the bed, her arms around his neck, pulling him along with her. Dominick’s weight atop her was comfortable, right, perfect. His arm trailed down her side, grazing the side of her breast as he made his way to the strap of her dress. He broke the kiss, checking her face, before giving it a tug.
Smiling, she sat up, allowing him to lower the small strip of fabric down her arm. He smiled as he moved to repeat the gesture with the other side, seeking her lips the moment the top of the dress fell to reveal her lace-clad breasts. She barely heard his sound of appreciation, the rushing of blood in her ears loud. He moved, shifting a leg into the cradle of hers, and she couldn’t help the moan that escaped her. Something inside of her snapped, and Jessie rolled them so she rose above him. She kissed him with renewed vigor, her tongue exploring, learning, memorizing, his mouth. She wanted him, she needed him…now, not later. Her fingers started fumbling with his shirt, clamoring to get it off of him without breaking the kiss.
“Hey, Jessie. Hey,” he said against her mouth, grabbing her hands to stop her frantic efforts. “Slow. We have all night, baby; there’s no rush.”
Barely exerting any effort, he flipped them once more, pinning her hands above her head. His lips met hers softly, demonstrating his previous statement. The moment of shame that had flooded her over her attack diminished as his lips trailed to her ear, teasing the lobe gently, causing her to gasp loudly in the quiet of the room.
The fingers of his free hand traced a line down her neck, grazing her collarbone. His touch was electric; a simple touch to make her body hum, her skin more sensitive than she realized. She wanted him to do more, or to stop, she wasn’t sure – her thoughts weren’t making sense anymore. Her mind was a jumbled mess while her body focused on what he was doing to her.
“See? Slow,” Dominick whispered against her, his grip still pinning both of her wrists. Jessie knew she could break free from him if she wanted to. A word or even the slightest struggle from her, and she knew that he would let go immediately, but she discovered she liked this side of Dominick. His assertive, yet tender, take on intimacy was something that she’d never experienced before. He took the decisions, the options away from her, and she was glad. So much in her life overwhelmed her now, and she was more than happy to give him the reins. She trusted him, which amazed her; after all, she hadn’t known him very long.
Kisses on her eyelids made her realize that she had closed her eyes at some point, relishing in his touch. Opening them, she found a mischievous glint in his eyes before he released her wrist and moved down her body. Glancing up at her, he traced the top of one of her breasts with his tongue, the wetness quickly soaking the lace covering her, changing the pink to a deep crimson. She arched, wanting more. He chuckled softly at her reaction and his arm slipped behind her to unclasp the restraining fabric. Before he removed the material, he l
atched onto one of her pebbled nipples, sucking through the lace. She groaned; the feeling of the wet, rough lace mixed with the warmth of his mouth made her squirm below him. She ground herself into his thigh, unabashed, looking for some sort of release – the pressure in her groin was intense. With a loud smack, Dominick released her, pulling off her bra while shifting so she could no longer grind on him.
“Not yet, Jessie. I told you we’re taking this slow. Yellow light slow, not ‘green means go let’s get there now’ slow.” He smiled as she tried to pout, the lift to her mouth rendering the action as ineffective.
“You’re cruel,” she said, biting her lip as his thumb brushed the nipple he’d been teasing.
“Maybe, but you’ll thank me for it later, baby, I promise.” He grinned back.
“Dream on, D –” her words cut off as he moved to suckle the neglected pebble. Using his teeth, he bit down, softly, driving all the air from her lungs. “Oh,” was all she could manage.
Dominick kept his mouth on her breast, biting and teasing, sucking and swirling his tongue as his hand moved to her stomach and lower. He reached where the dress had fallen and used his hands to tug it down. The air was cool on her exposed skin and she barely heard the sound as the flimsy garment hit the floor, tossed carelessly aside. Only when the dress was off did he raise his head to stare down at her. Jessie tried not to blush, as she was sure the pink of her panties was now the same color crimson her bra had turned from the liquid pooling in her groin. He is wearing entirely too many clothes, she thought, feeling the unwanted heat rising in her face.