He kept expecting her to act like the males he found her with or like the humans in the stories his father always told him about. Every moment spent around her, there was a feeling in the back of his mind that she would show him her true nature, and it kept him on edge.
Instead, she was soft, kind, and caring and she had this alluring beauty a female troll would never have possessed. And he wanted to believe it. Oh, how he wanted to believe it. But he barely knew her and although he shared with her his greatest secret, he wasn’t sure he could trust her. Not when he knew humans would go to any length to get what they wanted.
I won’t let my guard down again. He repeated to himself several times over, but deep down he knew that it didn’t matter how much he tried, the human female clawed her way inside him. He was her captive just as much as he was hers, even if his mind refused to admit the truth.
Chapter Sixteen
Delilah
Awareness came back to her slowly but surely. There was no rush. It was another first for her; taking her time to wake rather than getting up at the crack of dawn to begin a never-ending list of chores. It’s not that she disliked the work, it kept her busy, it was more that her father never gave her a moment to herself. From dawn to dusk he piled on the tasks or had her repeat tasks for the sake of it. Long gone were the days of sitting by the fire and reading, taking a stroll and enjoying the weather or sewing something because she wanted to, not because he demanded her to.
Taking a deep breath, she yawned, reveling in the feeling of the soft furs that enveloped her body. Her back arched off the ground while she stretched her arms above her head until the fur wrapped around her body slipped low enough to reveal her cleavage.
Adjusting herself, she slowly opened her eyes and was greeted by a low sun, bathing the interior of the cave.
“Finally, you’re awake.”
“Barely.” Delilah yawned again then looked his way, ignoring his gruff sounding voice. “I’ve never slept so well in my life.”
Skarde shot her a skeptical glance then resumed his task.
“It’s true,” she added and shrugged her shoulders. It would have never been possible to go to bed when she wanted or woke when her body naturally wanted. Her bed may have been soft and more comfortable than sleeping on the ground, but it had been years since she had gotten any real sleep. Fear of angering her father and the stress that came along with it was one reason and the plaguing nightmares were the other.
Sitting up, she noticed a bowl of nuts and berries and a cup of water lay at her feet next to her bedding. Without a moment to lose, she drank and ate her fill, appreciating the kind gesture. “Thank you.”
Skarde grunted and Delilah couldn’t help but feel something was bothering the male. She cast him a glance and noticed the tired bags beneath his eyes. Poor guy must not have slept well.
“Maybe we should sleep in and check the traps later,” she suggested, eyeing her pillow hoping to relaxe a little before starting her day.
“Unlikely. It’s late enough as it is.”
Late? It didn’t look late, but if his preference was to start early, she’d try to wake earlier now that she has no roosters blaring when the crack of dawn begins.
Delilah left the cave to take care of her needs, then replaced her furs with her now dry dress. She fingered her hair as best as she could and made her way back to Skarde, who was now examining a net.
She approached him with wide eyes, curious how he made such a net with what little he had. If he could do this, then she could certainly find a way to make more clothing for herself, maybe sew a few other things like an actual pillow. Ideas surged through her mind. If she could sew, things would be significantly easier on them.
“Did you make this all yourself?”
He nodded and grunted at the same time.
It appeared he was not only tired, but not as talkative unlike the night before. Memories of distinctively leaning into his touch for several long moments came crashing back. Nothing else happened, and they had gone to bed shortly after, or at least, she did. So it was confusing that he was being somewhat standoffish. Unless he regretted that small intimacy they shared.
Her stomach dropped a thousand feet. She hoped he didn’t regret it because it felt nice that for once someone confided in her, trusted her, respected her. Even if their whole situation was slightly deranged.
“Can you show me how?” she asked in a slightly more pleasing tone, trying to ease him out of his slightly cranky mood.
Instead of replying, he simply handed her a thin bone and the same fibrous stuff she’d found the previous day. Upon further inspection, the slightly flexible but firm bone resembled a needle. It had a small hole that somehow miraculously carved into it and had a fairly decent pointed tip. It wasn’t exactly what she was used to given it was much wider and a little longer. Slipping the fibers through the eye of the needle wasn’t too difficult and it made her all the more eager to start the projects forming in her mind.
“Can we get more of this?” she asked excitedly as ideas swirled in her mind.
“I have plenty already.” He stood and slipped the net next to his spear behind his back.
Her shoulders slumped as she handed the items back to him. She recalled exactly how much he had, she was the one to organize it all for him. As unfortunate as it was, she never learned how to make string. It was just another item she purchased along with the other necessities. In another life, had she been born in a less wealthy household, she would have owned her own spinning wheel and made the materials herself. And now, because of her wealth, she was stuck in the wilderness ill-fitted to do the most basic of things.
“If you wish for more, we will retrieve more while we’re out, but we must leave now,” Skarde sighed.
Skarde led Delilah around the mountain for several hours, until the sun reached its full height into the sky. He mostly kept to himself, occasionally pointing to a trap he crafted before checking to see if anything had been caught. He did this all the while explaining how difficult hunting was becoming for him. Apparently, the population of prey animals was declining and he had to resort to other means to ensure he had enough food. Other methods being his traps.
She could tell how uneasy it made him feel by the way his lip would curl downward every time they checked a trap only to discover it was just as empty as the last one, and then the way he would pick up even more speed onward to the next, leaving Delilah to follow briskly in his wake.
The trip wasn’t bad at first when the ground was flat and she could keep up with his wide steps and brisk pace, but when they arrived at dangerous slopes, rocky cliffs, and thick brush, Delilah ended up slowing down to a speed of a turtle, trudging along one slow step at a time.
Sometimes, she’d lose sight of him. He would then appear minutes later, sighing loudly and grumbling beneath his breath how slow and ill-equipped humans were, questioning how they as a species survived all this time.
After a while, he eventually slowed down just enough to prevent her from falling behind, and because she was grateful for being so thoughtful, she only rolled her eyes at his comments and kept her amused laughter to herself. He wasn’t that bad of a hiking partner, but he had his moments.
“Do you mind if we stop for a quick break?” she asked, completely out of breath. Even though her stomach growled hungrily, she didn’t dare ask about food. It wouldn’t be comfortable, but she could go without.
To her immediate relief, Skarde slowed down even more as he took a sharp turn that led them straight to the river.
“We can break here,” he grunted as he removed his loincloth in one swift move, pulled his netting off his back and jumped straight into the frigid water.
She watched from the sandy river shore, stunned, unable to get the image of his firm green buttocks out of her head.
“Delilah?”
“Hmm?”
“Do you see those branch-like stalks sprouting from the ground just over there?” he asked, pointing dow
n the river bank where the sand turned to pebble and rock.
She squinted her eyes and saw what looked to be dogsbane growing in the general direction. “Yes.”
“Find a stalk that is in a state of decay, the fibers grow along the other edges of the plant. If they are good, they will be firm and strong and will be easy to remove, if they are bad the fibers are brittle and weak, and will fall apart with little contact.”
“Thank you Skarde, you’ve made my day.” She turned back and smiled at him appreciatively.
After making her way over to the area, she was happy to note that most of the stalks were in good condition to strip away the fibers. While the ones at the cave were slightly different, the rough texture and white color were the same. Gathering what she could before she noticed a crescent-shaped shell dotted with shimmering green speckles and picked it up before making her way back.
When she returned she noticed an immediate change in Skade’s demeanor. He had a smile plastered to his face that spread from one pointed ear to the other.
“I got the fibers I needed thanks to you,” she beamed.
“Come sit.” He tapped the seat next to him on the log. “I will show you how to twist them properly so they can be used.”
Skarde spent the next while teaching Delilah how to twist the fibrous strands to achieve different levels of thickness. As it turned out, she could make them into a steady string substitute, or a heavily corded rope. She couldn’t help but think of how patient he was because he had to stop wrapping his fish in leaves several times to fix an error she made.
After a while, she got the hang of it and could have done the work blindfolded had her fingers not become sore, but she trudged along happy to finally have something useful to do. Now if only she could find some stuffing substitute. Since she no longer had any access to chickens or ducks, feathers were out of the question. Leaves would be too crunchy and flat. Delilah considered sand, but the sand here was coarse and heavy, unlike some of the finer, more exotic colored sands she’d seen at some of the village stalls.
“Ouch,” she yelped when a painful cramp rippled through her right hand.
Skarde picked up the twisted fibers she accidentally dropped and tucked them in the front pocket of his sac and then took her hand and massaged her fingers and palms with steady, but gentle pressure. “I do not understand your need to make so much of this, but if you can’t do one thing without damaging yourself, what use do I have of you?”
Anger raged its way through her chest. Yanking her arm back, she stood up and turned away from him. She took several steps forward, froze, then turned around. “What use do you have of me? Is that all I am to you? A sl—” Her voice trailed off when she noticed the smirk on his face. “Oh you—” She quickly bent down and picked up the untwisted fibers. “—big, mean, troll!” Her voice squealed irritatedly as she threw the fibers at him.
The effect was less than she desired. Instead of fibers blasting him in the face they simply puffed from her hand almost freezing mid-air and fell flatly to the ground at her feet.
Delilah let out another huff of exasperation. Even her little mini revenge for his joke was a fluff, literally.
Crossing her arms she sat back down, refusing to look at him.
“Delilah,” he murmured quietly. “I apologize for upsetting you, it was not my intention.”
She cast him a glance, and immediately felt bad when he appeared to be visibly disturbed by how upset she was.
“No...no. I overreacted. It’s just that what you said reminded me of some of the things my father used to say to me before he died. It brought back a lot of painful memories,” she admitted, ashamed that she went off on him the way she did. It was unlike her, or maybe it was exactly like her and this was her learning to express herself after being repressed for so long.
A strong hand squeezed her shoulder. “I should never have said those words, it was wrong.”
Delilah turned to face him straight on. “But that’s the thing, Skarde. You should be able to make a joke without my mind flashing back to the past, but it probably will never be like that for me. You might always have to step around your toes and watch what you say because I’m just so broken.”
“Broken?” he questioned with a confused look on his face.
Delilah nodded her head. Her gut wrenched painfully as tears fell from her eyes. Before she knew what was happening she clasped her arms around his neck and cried into his chest.
“Broken...ever since my mother died,” she lightly sobbed and rubbed her nose against her arm so it wouldn’t drip against his green skin. It was just another thing that reminded her how much had changed because this certainly wasn’t something she would have done before. It was so unladylike that it would garner several whippings. A woman should attend all bodily functions in private with the proper etiquette.
Delilah could feel his chest rise and fall with his breaths, and almost felt bad for intruding in personal space, but she was desperate to talk about her suffering.
“He was a councilman and so my mother and I used to attend a lot of functions to support him. Even though he was very busy, he always made time to see us. Always. He lovingly doted on my mother and I. There was the one time I was giving my mother a hard time because I couldn’t find my doll. We were at some event and my mother was trying her best to quiet and comfort me because I was causing a scene. People were watching and we couldn’t just leave, my father’s meeting wasn’t finished.” She stopped and looked up at him wiping the tears from her eyes, but it didn’t make a difference. They simply continued to spill like a beaver dam exploded.
A grimace lined his face. He appeared uncomfortable and unsure how to handle the storming emotions she was sharing with him, but in all that time his honey yellow eyes never left hers. Even his pointed ears looked as if they were slightly more forward, as if they too wanted to make sure not to miss a single word.
“And you know what he did?”
He simply shook his head.
“He went home and grabbed the doll for me. By the time he came back with my toy I had already long forgotten why I was so upset in the first place. I guess that’s what children do.”
“Later that evening I had overheard my father talk to my mother about how outraged the other councilmen were, but because my father was a head councilman, there was nothing they could do about it. That’s the kind of devotion he had for us. For me…” Delilah trailed off and smiled at the memory. It was so long ago now, but it still made her heart constrict in her chest.
“After my mother had gone to bed, he came in to check on me. I was still up because I was reading in secret. My father knew, of course. He came with a bowl of ice cream, something he always did when he wanted to have one of his father-daughter talks. ’Deliliah, ladies are like flowers, always blooming in the day, and only at night, when no one is looking, do they wilt beneath the moon when the sun isn’t looking.’ At the time I had no idea what he meant. But now I do. He was trying to tell me that as a woman it was my role to be supportive and strong, and not to break down in front of others, do that privately.”
“He sounds like a good man,” he replied in an almost sorrowful tone.
“He wasn’t a good man Skarde,” she corrected him with a firm shove to his arm in anger. Then immediately regretted it. How was he supposed to know? It wasn’t fair to take her anger out on him.
But it appeared Skarde didn’t seem to mind, or simply ignored it when he spoke a moment later.
“What happened?”
“My mother died. She got really sick and never recovered. She had fever and chills, sweated but felt cold, and retched until her stomach simply couldn’t anymore. It was awful. Shortly after her burial, my father removed all traces of her life from our home. It was like she never existed at all, except for me.”
It felt like her heart was tearing in half all over again. Losing her mother was so hard because she was her rock and kept her rooted, even after her death Delilah thought heavily
on her kind and loving words to get her through even the toughest of times.
“And then the beatings came.” Her sobs and sniffles made it difficult to speak, but Skarde didn’t seem to have an issue understanding.
“Beatings?” Skarde growled through gritted teeth and wrapped one arm around her back.
It was at that moment, she realized the entire time she clung to him, he hadn’t touched her back. Embarrassed, she looked back up at him. His eyes were dark and his previous grimace was now replaced by a menacing scowl. It was like he was angry for her and it touched her deeply.
She was no longer sobbing against him. Every piece of her pain she revealed was like a weight lifting from her chest. All she felt now was red hot anger.
“It started with a slap. I can’t even remember what I did wrong, but he was so angry he couldn’t control himself. One moment he was yelling, the next his hand whacked me across my face. No apology, he simply walked away. It only got worse after that.”
“How could it possibly get worse than physically harming a female?” Skarde snarled, his lips curled up in disgust.
Nausea rolled through her stomach. She knew what her father did was wrong, but there was nothing she could do about it. The law wasn’t on her side. So why did she feel so guilty and embarrassed for the pain someone else caused her? Her eyes became wet again and for some reason it angered her. Delilah’s emotions were assaulting her like a spreading fire, consuming her inside and out, uncontrolled and unpredictable.
“Because...he would tie me up in the basement and whip me until I did whatever he damn well forced me to do,” she swore vehemently.
“He did what?!” Skarde shouted furiously and stood up, leaving her sitting alone on the hollow wooden log serving as their seat. He quickly paced back and forth as if something was boiling beneath the surface and he was unsure of how to deal with it.
Delilah covered her face in her hands. Not because she was trying to hide back the angry tears that now dripped from her eyes, but because she didn’t realize that talking out loud to someone else would be so taxing on her nerves. It was like she was back at her father’s estate, reliving her damn nightmares all over again, but at the same time she was also filled with relief at not having to hold everything in any longer.
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