by Atul Sharma
“I am in her home now. I’ll come tomorrow,” Raghav informed.
Raghav saw that painting on the wall there which he had gifted her on her birthday. ‘A shady figure holding a little girl’s hand.’ He had said then that God was holding Nandini’s hand. Perhaps God had come to take her with Him.
The neighbours, friends and relatives poured in. The heartbreaking scene unfolded when Nandini’s parents and brother arrived the next day. Raghav had seen a daughter crying for her dead father when Rajni wept after Bauji’s demise. But when a father cries for his dead daughter, even the iron melts.
From the cremation ground Raghav went to his home. He went straight to his room because he didn’t want to show his tears to his mother. Neha came to his room and expressed sadness. After some time, she looked at Raghav’s eyes and asked,“Use pyar karte the na.” It was too difficult for Raghav to control his feelings now. He hugged her and wept.
“Beta, how can a mother not know what her child feels,” Neha said consoling him.
Raghav told her about their bond and requested her not to disclose it to anyone.
He couldn’t sleep the whole night. Nandini’s cell phone was with him. He looked at her photographs which he had clicked just before her death. He also read their messages which they had sent to each other. He decided not to give her cell phone to her family. He wanted to keep it with him as many beautiful memories of their love resided in it.
“Maa, I’ll return in two days,” Raghav said in the morning.
“Where are you going?” Neha got tensed.
“I’m going to Nandini’s home now.”
“He is Nandini’s classmate. He brought her to the hospital,” Kiran introduced Raghav to Avinash.
Meanwhile, Nandini’s uncle and cousin went to Haridwar to immerse her mortal remains in the Sacred Ganges (Ganga River). They were sad when they came near the shore. But someone behind them was in tears. Raghav had secretly followed them in his car.
He had come to say final goodbye to Nandini on her last journey. He was at some distance from them and cried his heart out when they put her mortal remains in the Gangaji.
“Bye bye Nandini,” Raghav said looking at her mortal remains that were flowing away with the flow of the river. “You’ll always live in my heart.”
7
God, the Eternal Friend
“God understands our prayers even when we can’t find words to say them.”
It is said that time heals all the wounds. But Raghav felt the opposite. With each day his pain aggravated. The pain was not physical but emotional and there’s no medicine for the pain of missing your loved one. Was this his bad luck that the destiny sent Nandini in his life and snatched her away from him when he started dreaming of a blissful life with her? Or was this his good luck that he felt the bliss of true love, even for a short span?
One morning, Raghav went to the place where he had celebrated Nandini’s birthday. The state of one’s inner world reflects in his outer world too. That isolated place looked alive when Nandini was with him there. Raghav sat on the cemented bench and remembered all those precious moments of the past. Some people in life are a part of you and even when they leave forever, you find the memories of time spent together still living in you.
People get happiness in small patches and regular intervals but he was delivered the abundance of joy in a single shot. He remembered those moments when he gave gifts to her one by one. His preparations, her involvement; his gifts, her joys; his happiness, her smiles and tears; all flashed in his eyes.
Time is like a river. You can’t touch the same water twice because the flow that has passed once never comes again. No one could bring those moments and Nandini again in his life. Some realities are difficult to accept but you don’t have the power to re-adjust nature’s clock. You have to adjust yourself. Last time Raghav collected the gifts before they came back from there. This time he collected those memories and came back to his home.
Raghav’s silence was piercing Neha’s heart. He used to remain very quiet after this tragic episode in his life. Meanwhile, Nandini’s family moved back to Delhi. Her father requested for a transfer which was granted.
One day Raghav went to the Hanuman Ghat. He couldn’t muster the courage to go to that point from where Nandini had fallen in the gorge. He went inside the temple and sat there. He wished if Hanumanji could come to answer his questions that why destiny inflicted such traumatic pain to him.
Suddenly, he remembered a piece of discussion which he had with his grandfather. Bauji had told him that Hanumanji lives on earth in blood and flesh and guides them who are desperate in their devotion for Him. Bauji had told him a way to appease Him. That was to recite Hanuman Chalisa 108 times continuously on a Tuesday. Raghav was a devotee of Hanumanji but it was for the first time that he was feeling acute desperation in his heart to have a glimpse of Him. It was a Wednesday and he couldn’t wait for six days. So he decided to do it that day only.
“Maa, I’ll be doing meditation in the evening. Don’t disturb me till tomorrow morning,” said Raghav when he reached home.
“It’s good that you have decided to divert your attention to something better,” said Neha. She was happy because she had seen him in spirits after a long time.
Raghav decided to do it in his room. He cleaned the room first. After taking bath, he closed himself in the room. He kept a picture of Hanumanji in front of him and prayed to him to help him complete this. He started reciting the Hanuman Chalisa. After completing the first part, he didn’t feel the pressure of repeating it 107 more times because he was fully immersed in it. He was counting after every part. But it was easier said than done. There was silence all around but sleep was knocking his door. He tried hard not to let slumber creep in but he forgot when he lost the count.
When he opened his eyes, it was 7 in the morning. He laid on the floor itself where he was doing it. He realised that sleep last night had won the battle and he had failed in his mission. This added to his agony. He cursed himself and introspected to find the reasons. It wasn’t a Tuesday; he wasn’t fasting; he did it in his room. He thought he couldn’t succeed because he had broken the rules.
But he forgot to remember the fourth principle which he had fulfilled. Whatever meditation and recitation he did was with full devotion.
“Are you relaxed after meditating?” asked Neha.
His body language conveyed that he wasn’t happy.
They had to take Vijay to the hospital that day for routine check-up.
In the evening, Raghav felt tiredness and went to sleep early.
What he saw sometime later was really divine. He saw Hanumanji standing at the door of his room and looking at him. There was smile on His face and love in His eyes. Although He didn’t speak but it seemed that Hanumanji wanted to take away all his worries. Raghav was also deriving immense pleasure from looking at Him. He wanted this moment to last for eternity but he also wanted to talk to Him. He quickly sat on his bed. But Hanumanji wasn’t there. It was his dream. Raghav felt different emotions simultaneously. He felt happiness and sadness; contentment and unfulfillment; all at the same time.
He looked at the watch. It was 3 in the morning. He had lost his sleep and why not. He had seen a glimpse of his dear God, even if it was a dream. He spent the time further thinking about this only. Later in the day, he described his dream to his mother.
“Good things happen to good people,” said Neha. Even if it was a dream, you are still blessed. God is very kind. You take one step towards Him, He takes ten steps towards you.
The time passed by. There was gain in terms of improvement in Vijay’s health but they were losing in terms of penny count. Whatever money they earned by selling the jewellery was spent. Neha sold some more portion of her jewellery to meet their expenses.
“How long we’ll
keep on selling the jewellery to make our both ends meet? Even this will get finished one day,” Raghav questioned himself.
He was losing hope and depression was mounting on his head. Feeling himself down in the dumps, he went to the Hanuman Ghat. This was the place where he thought he would find peace of mind.
This time he went straight to that point where he had lost his love. He sat near that parafit from where Nandini had slipped down into the deep gorge. Sometime back, he had all the happiness of the world under his feet. And now the future looked bleak. The one thing that he wanted to do in this moment of gloom was to jump
down into the gorge. But the picture of his paralytic father and struggling mother flashed in his mind to remind him of his duties as an obedient son.
Just then someone put his hand on Raghav’s shoulder from behind. He turned back to see a saint standing there.
“Shri Ram Jai Ram Jai Jai Ram,” spoke that saint with a smile on his face.
For some time Raghav could only watch the saint. His face sparkled with radiance. There was an unusual glow in his aura. Bauji had once told him that the saints have the spiritual power to calm down the wandering minds of the people. He felt that today.
“Shri Ram Jai Ram Jai Jai Ram,” spoke the saint again.
“Pranam Babaji!” said Raghav. He got up and touched his feet.
“There are a lot of people in and around the temple. Why are you sitting here alone?” asked the saint.
Raghav remained quiet.
“It seems that you have some personal memories associated with this place,” Babaji said about the place where they stood.
“Yes, Babaji! But how do you know?”
“Your face is telling it all.”
“Do you read faces or are you an astrologer?”
“Saints have the blessings of God to read one’s heart and mind,” said Babaji.
“Babaji, I haven’t seen you here before. Where have you come from?”
“Shri Ram Jai Ram Jai Jai Ram,” chanted Babaji. Saints have no fixed abodes. They wander from place to place chanting God’s Name.
“Have you come here for the first time?” asked Raghav.
“Yes. Shall we sit here?” Babaji asked Raghav to sit there with him.
“Where do you live and what do you do?” asked Babaji.
“I live in Devpur itself. I have completed my studies.”
“Who all are there in your family?”
“My parents and me.”
There was silence for a while.
“Beta, why are you appearing sad and depressed?” asked Babaji.
Raghav didn’t want to share his pain and anguish with a stranger, even if he was a saint. But the warmth in the saint’s behaviour made Raghav to pour out his heart to him.
“Babaji, I have lost almost everything in my life. Problems and difficulties are staring at me.”
“What have you lost?”
“Firstly, my grandfather left us. Then my father’s friend connived to take away our land and money. My father was attacked first by a friend’s betrayal and then by paralysis. Even if this was not enough I lost. . . .” Raghav could say this much only as his eyes acted faster than his tongue. Tears rolled down from his eyes.
“You seemed to have lost something precious,” Babaji said while caressing Raghav’s head.
“I lost Nandini here.”
“Who was Nandini?
“Nandini was my life. She was my best friend and my well-wisher.
I wanted to marry her but the cruel destiny snatched her from me,” Raghav said in pain which was visible to the saint.
“What happened to her?” asked Babaji.
“She fell into this deep gorge.”
“How?”
“I was taking her photograph. Her foot slipped from the edge of this parafit. I urged her a lot not to go there. Few moments took away all my happiness.”
“I’m feeling that you truly loved her a lot,” Babaji said wiping Raghav’s tears.
“That’s why I am unable to accept this harsh reality,” said Raghav.
“Did she also love you as much as you loved her?” asked Babaji.
“She loved me more than I loved her. She was very innocent and affectionate. She cared for my happiness and studies more than hers.”
Raghav counted her numerous qualities to Babaji.
“True love is eternal, it never dies,” said Babaji.
“It’s a good thought but it can’t take away your sorrow and loneliness,” said Raghav.
“True but only few are fortunate enough to get this kind of pure love which you experienced,” said Babaji.
“But it didn’t turn into a long lasting relationship of a happy married life,” grumbled Raghav.
“Marriage is sacred but not the last destination where you have to reach. Radha and Krishna too didn’t marry but it didn’t take the shine away from their pious bond,” said Babaji.
“They were Gods; I’m a simple human,” said Raghav. “How’ll I spend the rest of my life? Who’ll raise me up for grabbing opportunities and calm my mind in difficulties? Had Nandini not come in my life, I would have coped with other agonies. But having spent the most beautiful moments of my life with her, I’m now left with eternal sorrow.”
“For someone who has loved passionately, the thoughts of his beloved are enough to spend a whole lifetime. Death can destroy a body not love. She has left you but this is not the first or the last birth you both have taken in this world. True love unites even after death,” said Babaji.
“You mean to say that we can reunite in the next birth!” asked Raghav.
“Why not?” replied Babaji. “Sometimes someone very dear goes to a distant place for a long time. You wait passionately for the return of your dear one and treat this waiting period as a bridge to be crossed between two roads. Likewise, death is also a bridge between two births. One who has patience surely reaches his destination.”
“Waiting for a next birth is far more difficult than waiting for some years,” said Raghav.
“To get unconditional love, even though for a smaller period, is very rare and divine than dragging your whole life with superficial love,” replied Babaji.
“But what was my fault that I lost her so soon?” asked Raghav.
“Maybe in some previous birth you had inflicted this pain to her,” replied Babaji.
“What should I do when I want to talk to her?”
“Close your eyes and concentrate your thoughts on her. She’ll respond from within you.”
“Babaji, I’m feeling very relieved talking to you. Nandini also used to pacify me like this whenever I was sad.”
“If life is harsh sometimes, it’s benevolent too. You lost one friend here and now got another friend at this place,” said Babaji.
“Do you mean to say that you are my friend!” asked Raghav.
“Yes, why not? You said that Nandini was your best friend. I can attempt to become your second best friend,” Babaji replied with a smile on his face. “Friendship has nothing to do with age or relationship. One who soothes your mind is your friend; one who makes you realise how beautiful you are from inside is your friend and one who makes sure that no bad qualities reside in you is your friend.”
“What is true love in your opinion?” asked Raghav.
“When both feel that they are one and even God can’t separate them, it becomes the love of the highest kind. I’ll tell you one incident. Once Narad Muni questioned Lord Krishna, ‘You loved Radha so much, then why didn’t you marry her?’ Krishna replied, ‘You need two people to marry. Narad, you tell, who is the second one amongst us?’”
“Babaji, I am very desperate for Nandini and feeling mad without her. What should I do?”
“Make this desperation and madness a prayer for God. Develop so much convict
ion in your unfulfilled love that God is forced to unite you both after you die.”
“Babaji, can I get Nandini in my next birth?” Raghav asked innocently and with tears in his eyes.
Babaji put his hand on Raghav’s head as if he was blessing him with some special gift.
“If my Lord is happy with my love for Him then I bless you that you and Nandini will unite forever after this birth,” Babaji said and chanted ‘Shri Ram Jai Ram Jai Jai Ram’.
There were tears in Raghav’s eyes. He felt as if a stone had been lifted from his head. He felt contented. He could now spend a lifetime waiting to meet Nandini.
“Babaji, my grandfather believed there’s a lot of power in the mantras. Is it so?”
“A mantra’s power resides in the devotion of the sayer and yield effects only if the mind is concentrated on it.”
“Should we recite mantras to overcome our difficulties?” asked Raghav.
“Difficulties are the pillars of growth. You don’t need mantras to run away from them. Instead ask God to give you strength to deal with those difficulties.”
“Can you tell me a mantra to cure a sick person?” Raghav asked as he desperately wanted his father to get well soon.
“Eat well, sleep well and work hard. Isn’t it enough for good health?”
“Please tell me something from our scriptures,” requested Raghav.
“There is a mantra given by sage Dhanvantri for speedy recovery. It is ‘Om Shri Achyutaye Namah, Om Shri Anantaye Namah, Om Shri Govindaye Namah’. Recite it while giving medicine to the patient.”
“Babaji, which is the biggest mantra?”
“It is not any verse but a way of life. ‘Be simple’, it can help you attain anything in life. The scriptures, the mantras, fasting and pilgrimages won’t produce result if you are not innocent and pure at heart. Good character, kindness and respecting the feelings of others makes you dear to God.”
“Babaji, my father’s friend backstabbed us. We have lost our land and our money. The source of our living, our orchard, is pledged to the bank and we have to pay a debt to get it back. We are making our both ends meet by selling my mother’s jewellery. I am helpless at the moment.”