by Shae Mills
She lingered as long as she dared and then stood. In two short weeks she would be gone forever. In two short weeks she would say good-bye to Jason. And during those two short weeks she knew she would die bit by bit over his impending loss. But there was no solution. Their parting was inevitable, no matter how painful it would be.
Chelan finally headed back to the camp. There she found Jason putting the finishing touches to the site. He stood up, looked around, and smiled at her approach. “This is okay as long as it doesn’t rain,” he said. “If it does, we should move into the trees a bit. It’s dense enough to give quite a lot of shelter and it will be easier to string tarps.”
Chelan smiled. “Do you think the SUV will be safe?”
Jason nodded. “It’s too early in the season for most people. Even the universities won’t be out until the end of the month.”
Chelan yawned and then looked at the orange orb setting over a distant ridge, its reflection echoing over the tranquil ripples of the lake.
Jason glanced at her as she moved next to him. “Lots of memories, I bet.”
Chelan smiled. “A lifetime’s worth, and more.”
Jason looked past her and nodded to the lake. “Do you think it has fish?”
“I don’t know. But I guess we’ll find out tomorrow.”
Jason began rearranging some of his equipment. “I’m looking forward to this time together, Chelan. It’ll be nice not to pull up stakes every day.”
Chelan smiled warmly. “You’re right. It tends to get hectic.” She yawned again. “Looks like an early night for me,” she confessed.
Jason nodded. “Me too.”
Chelan watched him for a time until the evening light waned, stealing her vision. Then she bade him good night and climbed into her tent. But her night’s sleep was far from calm as visions of Jason clashed with others of Fremma. She awoke several times in a clammy sweat, her heart pounding. Hopefully, this was not an indication of things to come, and she prayed for the morning light to wash away her fears.
Chapter 26
The next few days went by quickly, and Chelan was not sure if that was good or bad. She was ecstatic over Fremma’s impending return, yet distressed over the shock that was about to hit Jason. But there was no compromise. She could not stay, and Jason could not come.
Over their time together at the lake, she had been unable to come up with a plan regarding her departure. Ideally, Jason needed to be gone from the area, but how could she ask him to leave? What would be the rationale for her request? And how could she possibly explain anything adequately?
Her original intent had been to part somewhere along the way, but now that they were comfortably established here, things had suddenly become very complicated. As a result, Chelan was just taking things one day at a time, praying that a solution to the dilemma would materialize out of thin air. So far, that tactic was having little success, and now time was critically short.
*****
Today was warm and sunny, and Chelan sat on a large rock, watching Jason down by the water’s edge. She squinted up at the sun, shielding her eyes. Then she looked back at him as he cleaned the frying pan. He wore nothing but a pair of hiking shorts, his muscled back gleaming in the mid-morning rays.
She cocked her head as she stared. Though she avoided the sun as much as she could, Jason not only seemed to thrive on it, he also seemed impervious to any cold weather. And over the past three weeks, though she remained as white as snow thanks to all her layers of clothing, Jason was often lightly dressed, and turning a deep bronze as a result.
Chelan drew her knees up and hugged them. His skin had always struck her as the type that would tan easily, and that fact was making itself readily apparent now. She wondered how he had gotten so dark in April, and ozone depletion crossed her mind. She rubbed at her arms. There was definitely something to it. Even this early she could feel the sun’s heat on her skin.
Jason tossed his head back in an attempt to clear his unruly hair. Chelan giggled and he threw her a sly glance. She rested her head on her knees and smiled as she continued to watch him. His hair was now down to his shoulders. He had let it grow since Christmas, and the thick brown mane lengthened quickly. But since the trip had begun, it too was showing the effects of the sun. The hair on top and at the tips was now quite blonde, in stark contrast to his dark beard.
Jason finally stood and looked at her quizzically. She straightened her head. “What’s wrong?” she asked.
He tossed his head back again. “I don’t know how you cope with that head of hair. Right now I’m about ready to shave myself bald.” And he walked past her on the way to the tents.
Chelan tittered to herself and waited for him to return. When he did, he sat below her on the ground and leaned back against the rock, his face tilted to the sun. She reached down and brushed the long locks out of his eyes. “Do you think I should cut mine?” she asked.
Jason smirked at her. “Right, Chelan. Go ahead.” Then he added, “Over my dead body.”
Chelan continued to run her fingers through his hair. “You’ll get used to it.”
Jason shook his head slowly, closing his eyes to her touch. “No, it goes today.”
Chelan frowned. “Please don’t.”
Jason looked up at her. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”
“It’s so beautifully thick. Please keep it, at least to the end of the trip.”
Jason grinned at her mischievously. “I’ll keep it, on one condition.”
“What’s that?”
“That you keep your pretty fingers entwined in it.”
Chelan’s eyes widened. “Oh, blackmail, is it?”
Jason chuckled. “You bet.”
Chelan slipped down off the rock and squeezed in behind him. Jason edged forward and then leaned back, gently pressing against her. Chelan began to stroke his forehead, continuing down through his heavy hair, savoring the length of every strand.
Jason moaned. “Hmm, should have thought of this ages ago.”
Chelan pressed his head back firmly into her chest, her fingers playing lightly over his jaw and neck. Her eyes wandered over his lightly haired chest and down his rippled abdominals, a dark trail of hair dipping lower still. Then she grinned to herself. The Warlords had always teased her about being one of a kind from Calley, among her world’s best specimens. But they had obviously missed Jason. She warmed. Maybe she should take him back with her after all. The women of the Empire had always loved Dar’s exotic coloring. With all his blonde highlights, Jason would be more than welcomed. But suddenly, she was stirred from her thoughts as Jason sat up.
He turned to her. “Your turn.”
“For what?”
Jason smiled. “For a massage.”
Chelan hesitated, but Jason grabbed her and sat her effortlessly in front of him. She stiffened for a moment but quickly succumbed to his expert touch, his fingers easing the tension from her neck and shoulders. He pulled on her gently and she melded into him, leaning back into his chest.
Jason looked down over her. He kissed the top of her head and then nestled a hand in under her hair. The other tugged slightly at the neck of her T-shirt. “You should take that thing off,” he whispered.
Chelan was instantly shot through with desire. But instead of responding to his invitation, she jumped to her feet and walked away.
Jason rose warily. “I’m sorry, Chelan.”
She turned to him, her eyes grievous. “Don’t be, Jason. It’s not you.” She looked round in quiet desperation. “You don’t understand.”
“Understand what?”
Chelan sighed, crushed by exhaustion. She looked up into his crystal blue eyes. “I think... I know that I’m falling in love with you, but...”
Jason’s eyes lit. “In my opinion, that’s wonderful. But what?”
Chelan’s shoulders sagged. “But it’s a love that can never be.”
“Why?”
Chelan turned away. She had left everything too l
ong. Now it was down to the wire and she was out of options. “It just can’t,” she uttered sorrowfully.
Jason was mystified. “Chelan, I feel the same way about you. I love you. I want to work with you, and be with you. You just have to give us a chance. If you need more time because of what Jim—”
Chelan whirled around, her jaw set. “You don’t understand, and I can’t explain. I’m sorry. I wish I could tell you more.”
Jason took her by the shoulders. “Can’t explain what? Make me understand. All this time together I’ve felt our bond growing. You can feel it too—I know you can. Now we’re together. Why can’t it continue?”
Chelan felt sick with despair. “Because…” Her voice became a soft whisper. “Because tomorrow night I have to go away.”
Jason was stunned to speechlessness. He held onto her arms tightly, his eyes searching hers. Finally he spoke. “Go away? What are you talking about? Where?”
Chelan tried to catch her breath. “Far from here.”
“Why? Have I done something wrong? I’ll take more time off. And you don’t have to worry about Jim—you know that.”
Chelan shook her head. “No, it’s nothing to do with Jim. And you have done nothing wrong. Please, Jason, just let me go.”
Jason was confounded. She had been a dream come true, and now out of the blue she was being ripped from him. He held her tighter. “No. I won’t let you go, now or tomorrow, not until you explain why you would throw everything we have away.”
Chelan stopped breathing. That was the last thing she needed: Jason and Fremma coming head to head. There was no doubt what the outcome would be if Jason forced a confrontation with the Warlord.
She tried to still her tremors. The fact that Jason was going to challenge the loss of her forced her to explain more. Her nails dug deep into his forearms, her eyes glazing with pain. “Listen,” she began. “Ten years ago I took a trip to get away from it all. And while on that trip, I met some people.” She took a badly needed breath. “I went with them and lived with them, became a part of them, and loved them. Last September I returned here to reunite with my family and friends. But tomorrow night, I go back to them.”
“Who are they?” he demanded sharply.
Chelan groaned. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, it does!”
“No it doesn't!”
“Where do they live?”
Chelan felt hopelessly lost for words. She looked up into his stricken eyes. “Oh, Jason, they live so far away.”
Jason hung his head. “Chelan, please stay. We have everything in common. You have become everything to me. Though we’ve barely touched one another, I can feel an indelible connection between us. I never thought there could be a union such as ours. Please don’t sever it.”
Chelan felt as if she was going to wither up right in front of him. “Please, Jason, don’t make this so hard. I never meant for any of this to happen.”
“When will you come back?”
Chelan released his arms. “I… I can’t come back.”
Jason exhaled sharply. His arms surrounded her and he crushed her to him. “Oh, Chelan. Please reconsider. Please stay here. I know we can make this work.”
Chelan was utterly crestfallen. “I’m sorry, Jason. I didn’t expect this to happen to us. I thought we would just remain friends and that we would simply part. I never wanted to hurt you.”
Jason held her tighter, pressing her head to his heart. “Tell me what I need to do. Tell me what I can do to keep you.”
Chelan’s heart split at the sudden outpouring of emotion. “Oh god. There is nothing you can do. It’s just that all of this was all prearranged so long ago. And tomorrow he picks me up from here and we’re gone.”
Jason froze. “He?” he repeated, the agony plainly inflected in his voice.
Chelan groaned, realizing her mistake too late. “I… I’m sorry…”
Jason pulled her back and stared into her eyes. “I’ve lost you?”
Chelan shook her head. “Not like that.”
He became frantic. “Let me make love to you.”
Chelan’s jaw dropped, knowing all too well what pain the act would ultimately inflict on them both. She stepped out of his grasp. “No,” she whimpered.
Jason squared his shoulders. “Tomorrow I lose you to another. Please, just once before you go.”
Chelan clenched her hands together, confusion and pain tearing her heart from her chest. She took a step back, and then another. She shook her head. “No,” she uttered. “No!’ she shouted, and she turned and ran into the forest.
“Chelan!” Jason yelled, but she was gone.
*****
Chelan ran as hard as she could, the branches and bushes slapping her nearly senseless. She could not see through her blinding tears, but she knew she had to get away from him.
She headed for a ridge and ran until she could run no more. Then she slumped to the ground near a log and cried until she could cry no more. And there she remained, her body vanquished, her emotions hopelessly frayed. Finally, she slept.
*****
Chelan awoke, the cool air assaulting her exposed flesh. It was evening and she knew she had to get back to camp. It was still too early in the year for her to survive the night without shelter. She sat up and wiped her hair from her face. She pushed herself up to her feet and took several deep breaths while she oriented herself. Then, with much trepidation, she began the lonely trip back.
She stepped out into the open at the campsite and peered about warily before she approached the tents. “Jason?” she called softly. She looked all around her. “Jason!” But there was no answer. Chelan continued to scan the area, but the darkness of night was descending on her quickly and a more extensive search was out of the question.
Finally, she was forced to retreat from the blackness and the cold, but she could not sleep. All night she lay curled up in her little tent, listening for Jason, and despite all logic, hoping with all her heart that he would return.
With the first light, she dressed and stumbled out of her shelter. She was terribly hungry, but she had to find Jason first. She began at a trot, heading down the trail to the far end of the lake. But it was as she had suspected it might be: the SUV was gone.
Chelan took a moment to steady herself. It was for the best. She could not risk Jason’s interference with the pickup. If Jason even saw Fremma or the fighter, Fremma would quite possibly be forced to kill him.
Chelan made the somber journey back to the camp. She opened a can of beans and stared at the unappetizing meal, but she could not eat. Day turned into evening and she sat very still. The lake was calm, the air serene. Even the forest had hushed as if waiting for some momentous occasion.
Chelan hugged her knees while she thought of the gentle man from Earth. Maybe she should have made love to him. It would have been their good-bye gift to one another. But now that was impossible.
As the light began to dim, Chelan stuffed a few belongings into her pack. Then she eased over to Jason’s tent and knelt down. She ran her fingers along the zipper that closed it. “Good-bye, Jason,” she whispered. “I have to go.”
Jumping to her feet, she grabbed her pack and ran to the rendezvous site. There, she huddled under the branches of the great fir tree. She looked at her watch. It was now dark, and she had just under three hours to wait. In no time, the moonless night rendered her completely blind.
She felt for her phone and looked at the screen, praying there was coverage. She had one earthy task left to do. Despite the time change, she keyed in Will’s number.
He answered on the first ring. “Chelan, are you all right?”
“You’re up late.”
“I couldn’t sleep.” There was a hesitation. “You’re at the site?”
“Yes,” she whispered dolefully.
“I’m going to miss you, sweet sister.”
“I’m going to miss you too, Will. I wish we could have spent even more time together.”
Chelan exhaled sharply. “You have always been so supportive and understanding, sweet brother. I cannot tell what the future holds for me, but it is not beyond the realm of possibility that we will meet again.”
“I will always hang on to that hope, little sis. That would make me immensely happy.”
Chelan smiled. “I love you, Will. Say good-bye to Marion for me. And I wish you both the best with your new addition when he or she arrives.”
“Thanks, Chel, and I love you too. Be well always.”
Chelan put the phone away and tried to still her thudding heart. It was time to concentrate on the here and now. Fear and pain were quickly being overshadowed by excitement and exhilaration. What would she say and what would she do the minute she saw Fremma? Her body warmed unexpectedly. Would he make love to her right here, as he had done when he left her? Chelan could hardly catch her breath.
She reached for her small flashlight. It was eleven—only one more hour. Chelan could barely contain herself. She wanted to jump up and walk around, but she dared not. Her eyes strained against the blackness. Then she became still. Would she hear the ship? Would she hear Fremma? She flinched. She was so blind, he could scare her to death if he wanted, and Chelan shivered at the thought.
More time passed. She held her breath, straining to hear even the smallest of sounds. Then she looked at her watch again. It was midnight. Chelan buried her face in her knees. Suddenly, somehow, being descended upon by the Warlord frightened her. This was no longer a fantasy. The Empire was coming to her little blue planet for her, and anything could happen.
She raised her head. It was just a few minutes after twelve. Chelan licked her dry lips. “Fremma?” she whispered. Then she hunkered down, her heartbeat so loud she could hardly stand it.
Soon it was one a.m., and she was more than a little anxious. She drew her jacket to her tightly and stared up at the stars. One turned into two, and Chelan was panicky. “Fremma?” she called softly.