“So, Gypsy, how does your father feel about you being around?” she asks. The heat I feel at my back, which I know is Luca, stiffens, and the air surrounding us ramps up with tension and anger. Luca knows everything now, but his family is hearing this shit for the first time and their distress is palpable.
“You should leave now, Cindy, before you say something that causes bigger problems,” Tawny interjects as she comes up alongside me in a show of solidarity. “There’s no one here who’s going to rescue you or speak up for you. You are a worthless piece of shit and quite honestly, the only good thing you ever did was give birth to Gypsy. Too bad you chose not to allow my parents to raise her, or let her father know about her.” My heartbeat has become rapid, I didn’t want him to find out this way...if at all. I am still finding out who I am, who Luca and I are and am not ready for any other changes or rejections.
“He didn’t want kids!” my mother exclaims. The shame I thought I’d hurdled comes back and slaps me in the face with those four words she used to spit out at me my entire life. I square my shoulders and get ready for a showdown. How dare she come here and start trouble for me. I’d finally escaped her, but she won’t let a dead dog lie. She has to bring vile and anguish to whoever she can. She’s not happy so Lord forbid if anyone else is.
“How would you know that?” I question. “You spent, what, a week with him at some biker rally? I highly doubt you were spinning lifelong plans with him, were you?” She recoils as if I’ve physically slapped her across the face instead of spewing out hateful words, words that have set heavily on my chest for over twenty-three years now.
“Does that man who’s holding you know why you came here?” she counters. “I bet if he knew what a deadbeat you really were, so mousy and shit, he’d dump your ass for a real woman.” Luca squeezes my hip in support, giving me the courage to continue my slaughter of her character.
“What my old man knows or doesn’t know isn’t your concern. Not now, not ever. As for me? I’ve found a family now, one that values me and builds me up as a person. I love the life I’ve built and you, Mommy Dearest, have no part in that, none at all.” The wire hangers Joan Crawford wielded toward her children in that movie holds nothing on the cruelty I grew up with. My scars have scars, they may all be internal, but they’re still there for everyone’s viewing pleasure.
A voice I’ve heard briefly speaks up, asking, “You got pregnant and didn’t try to find me? You had my numbers and if half the shit I’ve just heard is true and you didn’t want our daughter, you should’ve reached out to me. I would have gladly taken her and raised her. You’re the reason women get a bad rap with us men.” I turn my head to see that Chef has come up alongside me on my right. Not only that, but his brothers are standing behind him and Luca’s club is standing behind us. I’m so scared, scared that they’ll think I came here with bad intent instead of finding a place to belong.
Yet here we all stand. One united front against an evil, vicious person. Chef turns to me and softly states, “You look just like my little sister, Carmen. How did I miss that before?” I shrug my shoulders because words have escaped me and I’m still that scared little girl when it comes to her daddy. I want to be accepted, wanted and held when I’m scared of the boogeyman under my bed.
Luca moves so I’m behind him and looks at my mother. “My old lady has said her piece. You’re not welcome here, now, or in the future. Get your ass off our property or I’ll have no problems calling the cops.” When Chief steps forward, Luca shakes his head. “Uncle Chief, you’ve got no jurisdiction here.”
“I can still escort this lady off the property, Luca,” he replies. I find it funny that Chief goes for intimidation when he pulls out a pair of silver cuffs from his back pocket. I don’t think I want to know why he has those on his person while he’s off duty. Then I look at Trinity and see her cheeks pinken. I feel like a little kid who wants to stomp her feet, plug her ears and cry out eww.
“Chief, you better do it quickly because I’m about to pull out my pliers,” DJ yells out. “As for you, Cindy, you better take a good look at all these faces around your daughter. We’re her family now and there’s no place for you in this fucking picture.” I close my eyes and enjoy the claiming this family is making of me. It’s something I’ve always dreamed of and am immensely enjoying the feeling this is filling my heart with. Pure and utter, unadulterated joy.
The emotion that overwhelms me at her words has me curling closer into Luca’s back. He reaches around and grabs my hand and laces our fingers together before he squeezes it. God, I love him, and I think it’s about time I share that fact with him. I’ve never said those words to anyone in my life and it’s going to be so much more special when he’s the first one to hear those words escape my lips.
“You’re gonna regret this someday when you need me,” my mother calls out as she turns to leave. Why she thinks I’ll ever need or want her advice, face or otherwise in my life is a crazy sentiment. She’s fooling herself to think anyone would enjoy her presence in their lives.
“Can’t see what I’d ever need from you,” I respond in a not so friendly tone. “Other than medical history and, newsflash, Mother, my aunt made sure I got that years ago.” She did, too, because she was the one who got the information from my grandmother, so I’d know what my history was; something I’ll forever be grateful for if I’m being completely honest. Now, I can get my father’s family medical history since it’s no longer a secret who he is to me.
“We’re done here,” Braxton states. “You, leave, enough is efuckingnough!” he roars, pointing a finger in my mother’s direction. “You two,” he continues, pointing to me and Chef, “go inside and talk. I believe it’s long overdue and it might help you both move forward.” I nod my acceptance and go to step around Luca. He shakes his head no and pulls me into his side. I feel his love and warmth surround my body, heart and soul when he does this.
“Going with you, Gypsy. No offense, Chef, but my old lady doesn’t face anything alone. Not anymore.” My heart swells even further if that’s possible. I feel like the old cartoon Grinch where the screen shows my heart growing twice its size. And it feels phenomenal.
“I hear ya, brother,” Chef replies. “Is it okay for Lulu to come too?” he asks me. Like I would ever deny him the one person who supports him above all else. It’s not fair that Luca is at my side and Lulu isn’t at his. I have to get to know her as much as I do my father.
“Yeah.” We walk into the clubhouse and Luca takes us to the room that they use for church. I’m anxious because he made sure to express to me that no one, outside of officers and invited brothers were allowed entrance to this room. I want to jump up and down like a spoiled child, but that contradicts the entire reason for this sit-down.
“Figure this is as private as we can get,” he states as he motions for me to proceed him into the room. I give him my appreciation with a look. This is going to be emotional enough without an audience to witness my tears and potential break down.
Once we’re all seated, I look over at Chef and inform him, “I knew when I arrived in Corinth that you were my biological father. The only reason I didn’t say anything to you is because I noticed you and your wife had no kids, so it reinforced what my mother told me. I’m beginning to think that she was way off-base.” Resisting rolling my eyes at myself for my smooth-talking ways, I bite my lower lip and contemplate what should be said next.
He clears his throat, his eyes never leaving my face. “I swear on my cut, my future grave, and on my honor and respect for you, if I had known about you, I would’ve moved heaven and earth to have you in my life. As for me and Lulu, the only reason we don’t have kids is because Lulu isn’t able to get pregnant. We tried for years but it wasn’t in the cards for us.” I sniff back my wayward tears at the comfort my dad shows Lulu when he reaches over and grabs her hand with his. He gives her a light squeeze and smiles at her. She gives him a small smile, and I know that they both love each other very much.
I can’t imagine the pain and heartache she’s experienced finding out she isn’t able to give the man she loves the one gift every woman wants to share with said man. I want to rush over and wrap my arms around her and comfort her. I know we’re not there, so I refrain from doing just that.
“I’m sorry for everything, Chef. I wish she had told you because no lie, what y’all just witnessed is only the tip of the iceberg with how she treated me.” My father’s entire being stiffens and I swear I hear a low growl leave his chest. I’d almost think a grizzly bear or werewolf resides within.
Luca breaks in, stating, “She’s not lying, brother. When I first met her, she had walls that were so high, I thought they’d be impossible to break through. It’s taken a lot of love and care for her to start healing from her past.” I appreciate his honesty, but I hate that I put him through so much hell to garner my trust and get my guard to dissipate.
“Congratulations, Chef, you’re the proud daddy of a beautiful, grown-up daughter,” Lulu says, interjecting a little humor. “Gypsy, we would love to get to know you better. You’ve got more family, too. Chef’s parents are still alive, and he has a younger sister and older brother.” I’m wondering if I should get to a point where I’m comfortable being around them before we make it a family affair?
My mind is reeling at her words. I’m not alone in this world. “You never were, baby,” Luca whispers so low only I can hear, and I realize I mumbled that out loud. I’d still like to get a little more comfortable in my own skin before I am introduced to more blood related members.
“I know that now, Luca. I would love to get to know y’all better, but my home is here.” I’m hoping that it won’t become a bone of contention between Luca and my father, because I’ve made my life here and I need to stay where my heart is.
“Could...could you transfer up here, Chef?” Lulu questions. My hope is running through my bones, I hope he says yes.
He looks at Luca before replying, “No clue, but if there’s a place I can fit in up here, brother, let me know and I’ll talk to your dad.” I close my eyes and say a silent prayer that everything works out the way it is meant to. I’m not sure if that’s with us or not, but whatever happens, I’m going to promise myself that I’ll talk with Chef...Dad, once a week over the phone.
“Well, Tig’s still looking for someone to manage the kitchen at the bar. But how will that impact the truck stop?” Luca asks. “Can’t leave Smokey and Bandit short-handed.” I nearly snort at that statement, because those two have their hands in so many pots they would add that to their daily schedule, and it wouldn’t mess with their mojo.
“We’ll figure it out,” Chef states. “Because now that I know about you, Gypsy, there’s no way in hell I want to be so far away. Oh, and Luca? You better do right by my daughter.” I grin at how fatherly he sounds right now. He’s known for less than an hour that he has a kid and has stepped in as if he was there the whole time. I feel something gel in my heart as I smile at his words. I wonder if I’ll become a daddy’s girl now that I have a father in my life.
“I’ll talk to Tig and my dad,” Luca says. “But I don’t see a problem with it from where I’m standing.” Yay! Do you think they’d put me in the looney bin if I jump up on top of this table and start a celebratory dance off?
Luca
I’m so fucking proud of my old lady right now. I want to shout it from the rooftops that I have the bravest, most endearing woman that I’ve ever met. We leave our meeting with Chef and Lulu and I steer her toward my office. Once inside, I pull her close and say, “You’ve grown balls of steel, baby, and that turns me on more than you can imagine.” I dig my hips in her showing her that every part of me is appreciative where she’s concerned.
“Luca, I have something to tell you,” she replies, looking up at me. For the first time since I’ve met her, her eyes are completely unguarded. A look that I pray stays permanently...just like her.
“I’m listening, Gypsy.” My voice comes out husky and I do nothing to try to hide it. I want her to know she’s always desired by me.
Always loved.
Always cherished.
Always wanted.
Always needed.
I could go on and on, but she has something to say and I promised myself I’d never miss anything that’s important leave her delectable lips.
“I love you. You came in like one of those knights in shining armor in the old fairy tales, only instead of a horse, you were on a Harley, and you’ve managed to slay every one of my dragons and tear down the prison I was living in.” I will not cry, I am a man, I have a dick, I chant as I clear my clogged throat. Her words affect me on a level I’ve never felt before.
“I love you too, Gypsy-girl. You are the light to my darkness, the voice to my silence, the atmosphere to my earth. You, my girl, you are my every reason for existing. I thank whatever in the universe it was that brought you to me.” I swipe at the tears that are freely falling down her face before I lean down and softly kiss her lips and brush my thumbs over her cheeks wiping the tears away. “Why are you crying, baby?”
“These...these are happy tears, Luca. If I would’ve dreamed of someone, it would’ve been you.” That’s one of the best compliments I’ve ever received and am honored she feels the way I do. We were made for each other. No one else could have filled the empty space in my heart the way she has. My life would always be missing something if she hadn’t come into my life. I’m so happy the universe conspired and took me to the same gas station she’d stopped at on that fateful day.
“No tears, sweetheart, they kill me,” I admit. “Even happy ones stress me out.” Although, I really do love the way her face glows when the tears dry up and she smiles lovingly my way.
“I’ll try, Luca, but I can’t make any promises,” she teases me. Right now, after our admission to one another, I’d like nothing more than to take her to our room and make love, admire and trace every square inch of her body with my hands and tongue for the rest of the night. But we’ve got our family and friends here and knowing them, they’re gonna want to put their eyes on my girl to make sure she’s okay. I can’t imagine Chef being good with his newfound daughter skipping out when he’ll want nothing more than to get to know her and bond with her in the way only a father and his daughter can. I’ve experienced and witnessed a bond like that, my dad and my sisters have an unbreakable one. And if anyone deserves something like that in life, it’s my gypsy-girl.
“As much as I wish otherwise, we need to get back out there,” I tell her.
“If you insist,” she sighs disappointed. “But this time I have to agree with you. My dad wants me, Luca! I can’t wait to get to know Lulu, did you see the way she looked at me with nothing but love and acceptance in her eyes? I didn’t imagine in a million years this would become my life.”
“You deserve everything good this life has to offer, Gypsy. I’m so happy for you,” I express.
“It’s all because of you.” She pulls me down and kisses my lips.
“You’ve revived me, Gypsy. Thank you.”
“We’ve revived each other, Luca.”
“Forever.”
“Forever,” she agrees.
Epilogue
Tig
“Stop! Danika, stop!” I scream out as I follow her out of the parking lot and to where she has her car parked.
“Why? Why should I stop, Tig?” The begging I see in her eyes has me contemplating what the right thing is to say here.
“Look. Can we talk about this tomorrow? Tonight is about Luca and Gypsy.” I try to soothe her the only way I know how.
“No, Tig. Tonight is a celebration for the Rebel Guardians’ new beginning and new chapter. It’s not about a particular couple! Why are you pushing me away?” she asks the question while screaming out at me at the same time. I’m confused, am I supposed to answer her or wait and let her finish? “You know what? Fuck you, Tig!” she hollers, turning around and my vision is captivated by the way her hair flies
through the air. I groan out in frustration, because I remember what it’s like to have those locks snuggled between my fingers as I take her from behind.
“You already did!” I scream back before I sit back and think of if that was the right thing to say or not.
“You dumb fuck,” I hear said before a slap connects with the back of my head. I turn around and narrow my eyes at the wicked witch that just laid hands on me.
“Mind your own damn business, Tawny,” I snarl, turning my anger on her instead of its true target...my damn self.
“What the fuck are you doing, Tig? You just let your girl walk out of here believing that you don’t give a fuck about her other than getting her in the sack?” The disappointment I see on Tawny’s face makes me feel like shit. She’s my best friend and upsetting her is almost as bad as the look on Danika’s face was when I destroyed her a few minutes ago.
“It’s better this way,” I tell her as I take my boot and move the sand around with my toes.
“You’re a fool, Tig Martin,” she expresses.
“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. I’ve been demolished before, Tawny. I’ll never allow myself to become that man ever again. I promised myself no woman would ever hold that power over me again.
Reviving Luca: New Beginnings Page 14