Before she asked, he snatched up the bucket and went in search of more snow. In just the day they’d been on the island, a lot of it had already melted. He walked over a dune that received less sun. He scraped away a top layer, then scooped up handfuls, picking out tiny pieces of twigs.
When he returned, Irene had retrieved the cups and bowls he’d stashed under the sink and was walking them outside. “I just need to clean these up.”
He took them from her. “I’ll get them.”
“Thanks.” She stepped back inside.
So much for paradise … Alex walked to the outhouse and carried what was left of the bucket of water he’d filled for her the previous evening. He washed out the cups and bowls, and then headed over the dune again. He didn’t have to be as careful with bath water.
“Aaaah!” The high-pitched wail coming from inside the cabin sent Alex careening back over the dune. He dropped the bucket at the door and ran inside the cabin without a thought.
Irene was up on a chair.
Alex scanned the room, looking for the threat. “What happened?”
She pointed below the sink. “It’s down there.”
“It’s?”
“An animal of some sort.”
Alex stooped down, examining the shelf below the sink. Nothing jumped out at him. He moved the few cleaning products around. Nothing. But there was a tiny hole leading outside. He wadded up a dishrag and stuffed it in the hole, and then pushed the heaviest bottles against it.
“I think you’ll be safe now. There was a mouse hole, but you probably scared him worse than he scared you.”
“I doubt that.”
“Regardless, I clogged up the hole, and I’ll do a search when I get back.” He stood and went outside again, retrieved the dishes he’d washed and took them inside, setting them on the table, and then headed back to fill the bucket with snow so he could clean up later.
As he headed back up the knoll, he realized his heart was racing. Not from the exercise. He could hike for days if need be. His concern for Irene is what had his heart nearly pounding out of his chest.
Adrenaline was his favorite drug, more than alcohol and even women. He’d pushed himself to extremes for years to experience greater highs. Irene walks into his life and, suddenly, she’s got his heart racing as if he were in a free-fall.
And yet, in as little as a day or so, she’d be out of his life.
Chapter 14
~ Irene ~
Irene hopped down from the chair, then plopped in the seat, head lowered. “What an idiot!” she grumbled beneath her breath. “Screaming at a damn mouse. What’s wrong with you?”
It wasn’t as if she’d never seen a mouse. Hell, she’d had to deal with plenty of them on the streets. And if she had screamed, she would have been dead.
It was Alex’s fault. All his concerns about those men bringing back an army had her on edge. The stupid mouse had just startled her. Because she hadn’t been paying attention.
She’d been thinking about Alex and his request to show her around. She knew what he’d meant. He hadn’t just wanted to be top dog in the welcoming committee. That had been Alex’s way of asking her out … asking to see her again once they made it home.
And she hadn’t wanted to turn him down. Yeah, she was mad at him … furious that he’d wanted to throw his life away. And yeah, she wasn’t a hundred percent sure that she could trust him to do the right thing, since he obviously didn’t value life as she did.
But worse, what if he did? What if he did care for her? She knew without a doubt she cared for him, so how could she ever hurt him? And letting Alex get closer, knowing there was a good chance she wouldn’t even make it to her fortieth birthday was cruel. Especially cruel to do that to a man who’d already contemplated suicide over the loss of a loved one.
Footsteps sounded outside and Irene sprang to the window, her hand curling around her stun gun. She peered through the crack between the drawn curtains and exhaled.
“It’s just me, Irene,” Alex said as he opened the door.
“Oh, I know. I just thought we should get some light in here before the sun goes down.”
Alex offered her a quick raise of his head. “Good idea.”
His tone indicated that he didn’t believe her. Probably thought she’d been sitting in the cabin wringing her hands, waiting for her knight in shining armor to rescue her. Well, she kind of had been, but not because of the men. She knew they’d hear them if they showed back up. Alex obviously had the instincts of a watchdog, always popping his head up with every creak and crack, and now he had her doing the same thing. Heck, she’d been the first to spot the boat.
Alex dropped her suitcases on the mattress, dug his own bag out from beneath the bed, then walked toward the door again. “I’m going to go get cleaned up.”
In other words, I want to be alone for a while.
She couldn’t blame him. She’d been hot and cold, she knew, but it was for the best. Without comment, she followed him to the door, watched as he rounded the cabin, then stepped back inside and locked the door.
Maybe she couldn’t blame him, but he was still behaving grouchier than he should for someone who wasn’t looking for a relationship and was just trying to be nice. “Ugh! Men! He was hot and cold too.”
Trying to ignore the way his cold shoulder affected her when she was the one who stepped on the brakes, she ventured back beneath the sink for the kettle in the pot. Before reaching for either, she nudged the items, hoping the critter really was long gone. She set up the kettle and pot and then left them on the counter. No way was she going to start a fire without his okay. He’d definitely bite her head off.
Instead, she rummaged through her luggage. She did a quick clean up with her face wipes and then reapplied deodorant and her vanilla body mist. It was light, nothing that screamed, Take me now, flyboy!
Next, she sifted through the contents for something decent to wear. Oh, to hell with decent! Do what you want! She screamed internally. Isn’t that what this trip — the new you — is all about?
She snatched up the white sweater she’d purchased before she left San Fran. The low V-neck front and back and sheer, practically see-through thread, made the top essentially worthless as a sweater, but it was sexy as hell. She swapped her jeans for black yoga pants that showed every curve of her hard-earned glutes.
She wasn’t being a tease, she assured herself. It wasn’t as if she didn’t want to spend another night with Alex; she just knew they couldn’t go further. He was tough … he’d find another woman and forget about her the second they touched down in Anchorage. She, on the other hand, would suffer for her actions for the rest of her short life.
But … if tonight’s the last night we’ll be together, I don’t want to spend the long cold evening without him.
~ Alex ~
Dammit! Alex groaned into his hands.
“Damn. Damn. Damn.” Yesterday, he’d been free, knew exactly what he wanted and what he needed to do. “Dammit, Irene!”
Couldn’t she have just hated him from the beginning? He never should have danced with her. He knew it. The first time he saw her he knew it.
“Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.” Now you want her, and she doesn’t want you. Because she doesn’t trust you.
No … He shook his head. It’s more than that. She’d done everything he’d suggested would keep them safe. Yesterday, even when she thought he was dragging her off to rape her, she’d settled down and listened. Then earlier, even after she knew what he’d planned, she’d followed him to the wreck to wait for the men to leave. She’d allowed him to help her.
Something else was standing in the way of him finally moving on with his life. And it wasn’t their predicament. Vince would find them tomorrow, he was sure of it. Vince would know that if the plane was going down, he would have headed toward Middleton. Hell, he’d taught Vince that. To always be ready for the unexpected … to always have an out.
So what was it? Irene obviously lik
ed him, so why didn’t she want to see him again?
Frustrated but determined, Alex washed up extra well, slipped into his last clean shirt and jeans, and even shaved. Not a fun thing to do without hot water, but … he made it work with just the shaving cream.
Outside, he scanned the road and air, noticed the birds were already settling down. The sun had dipped behind one of the larger dunes.
Another long night. What kind of games would Irene want to play? Or maybe he should lead with the questions … or games.
He tapped on the door. “Irene?”
“It’s unlocked,” she called from the other side of the closed door.
He didn’t want to get distracted by going inside. Plus, she liked a mystery. “Come on out. I want to show you something. Bring my bag.”
She cracked the door and peeked out. “What’s up? Everything okay?”
He nodded. “Hurry up. We only have a few minutes.”
She sighed. “Okay. I have to put on my shoes and coat.”
“Hurry.”
Alex waited, listening as she tromped across the wood floor. She sounded like Vince clopping in his boots. Hell, even Vince, at six-four and two-ten, was quieter than she was.
The door opened and she stepped out, handing him his pack. “What’s up?”
“Come on.” He slipped on the pack and took her hand, hustling up the road to the northwest part of the island.
At the end of the road, instead of heading west, he led her up the east side, to the high cutaway cliffs.
“Where’re we going, Alex?”
“Don’t worry, it’s only one climb in this direction. Not like the dunes heading to the beach.”
She trudged beside him, holding on as he climbed the mound. It wasn’t as soft as the other side, so working their way up wasn’t nearly as difficult.
At the top, he led her to the far eastern side, so they could stare down at the seventy-five-foot cliff face.
Wind whipped at her hair again, so he pulled up her hoodie, fastening it around her. He turned her to face north. “Do you see them?”
Irene craned her neck forward. “What am I looking for?”
“The platform on the next cliff. It’s not easy to get to, but here …” He rummaged through his pack for the binoculars. He adjusted the sight then handed them to her.
Irene looked through them, and he maneuvered her so she was looking in the correct direction. “Oh … How cool! Eagles. Up close!”
Alex laughed. “They prefer trees, obviously, but since the entire island is a bird sanctuary, the platform was built for them. Although, I’ve heard some have hustled in on the wreck’s mast and some even try to sneak in at the kittiwake lodge.”
She lowered the binoculars and laughed.
“And now …” He turned her to face west.
“Isn’t it amazing, Alex?”
“It is. You know, I say I love the summers in Alaska, but the winters are also amazing. I love the way that even when it’s dark, the snow literally illuminates, sending off a blue hue.”
The sun melted behind the horizon, leaving behind layers of dark red and violet.
“Shouldn’t we be getting back, Alex?” She shivered, wrapping her arms around her midriff.
Alex moved behind her and wrapped his arms around her. “Is that better?”
“Hmm …”
“It’s a clear night. Let’s watch a few minutes, see if we’re rewarded. I promise you I won’t get lost.”
“I have no doubt about that, Alex.”
He heard her unmentioned doubts. She didn’t have doubts about his survival skills, but she doubted him. Still, they had tonight. He’d do his best to continue with the excursions, as she called them.
The last strands of red and violet dissipated, leaving an indigo sky splattered with millions of sparkling diamonds. And like a genie escaping the confines of its bottle, swirls of lime green and fuchsia moved toward the heavens in a mystical dance.
“Oh, Alex. I forgot how magical the aurora borealis is.”
He pulled her tighter, hoping that his passion about the beauty surrounding them would convince her that he wasn’t suicidal. That he wanted to live. That she could trust him.
She covered his arms with hers. “Thank you.”
“I figured if it’s the last night on the island, we should appreciate the lack of people and light pollution.”
She released an almost inaudible sigh. “True. We should appreciate what we have while we still have it.”
He started to defend himself, but then realized, she wasn’t just referring to his choices. If she had, she wouldn’t have said We. So was she referring to the two of them, or something else she might lose? As he’d thought before, Irene had secrets. What had she lost … or what was she about to lose? The boyfriend from high school? That didn’t seem likely.
He stepped beside her, but kept one arm latched around her. “Hang onto me.”
She huffed out a light laugh. “You’re not getting away from me until we’re on flat land, mister.”
Then you’ll let me go? he wanted to say, but again held his tongue. No sense in recapping the earlier conversation. The only thing he could do was show her.
Neither of them spoke as they worked their way back down the ridge and to the cabin.
Once again, he investigated the cabin before stepping inside, making sure she was out of range if anyone were waiting.
Irene scooted past him. “Can you start a fire? I have our grand two-course meal ready to go.”
“Sure.” He swept away the sand and set up the logs and kindling. He rummaged through his pack for another firestarter, and then struck a wood match. He held the flame to the starter log only for a couple seconds and the flames burst to life, licking at the logs.
“Man, you’re good at that.”
He turned to see Irene watching him, her hands on her hips. “I’ve never been able to get a fire going like that. Well, except for those wax logs. That’s all I use in my apartment anymore.”
“I cheated,” he admitted. “Since I’m positive we won’t be here long, I used my firestarter logs.”
Irene set the kettle on top, then stood in front of the fire, wiggling her fingers. “So you’re not the last Boy Scout?”
“Hardly.”
She raised her eyes to him. “Could have fooled me. I bet you walk old ladies across the road.”
Since she was being playful — and obviously chilled — he moved behind her again, wrapping his arms around her. “Only if they have beautiful daughters.”
“I don’t believe that.” She pressed her cheek against his arm; it was cold. He shouldn’t have kept her out after sunset, but he’d wanted her to remember how beautiful Alaska was, even in the winter months. He wanted her to know how much he appreciated beauty.
He shrugged. “It’s not often that little old ladies walk across roads in Alaska, not where I live anyway.”
She turned in his arms. “You don’t live in Anchorage?”
“No, I live in the sticks — Falcon Run — halfway between Anchorage and Denali. Most of our search and rescue calls are in Denali, so it’s better to be close.”
“Oh …” Her one word came out as if she were disappointed.
Alex moved his hands to her face, and the kettle sounded its long cry, breaking the moment.
Irene stepped back. “I, for one, could use a large cup of coffee. I’m chilled to the bone.”
As she stepped away with the kettle, Alex added another log. Might as well get it hot early.
Irene returned with the pot of beans in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. “Here.”
Alex accepted it and moved for one of the chairs instead of the love seat, where they’d gotten too intimate too quickly the previous evening.
Irene returned with her cup, settling down with a sigh. She stared into the fire, and he couldn’t help but stare at her. He loved the way her bronze strands shimmered just like the fire. The firelight flickered in her haze
l eyes, making them look as magical as the northern lights.
Pop. Pop. Pop. The beans bubbled and spurted upward, so Irene stood and retrieved the pot with an oven mitt, then filled up two bowls.
She kicked off her untied boots and settled back on the love seat, pulling her legs up beneath her.
“Kudos to the cook,” he said. He hopped up and took both of their bowls to the sink.
“Yes, it was such a difficult meal. I’ve never claimed to be a great cook, but I can certainly do more than open a can of beans.”
Alex sighed internally. It wasn’t as if she were going to cook for him, so why tease him? He needed to get the truth. One second she acted as if she was interested, and barely in the next breath, she’d be saying, Not gonna happen.
He sat across from her on the sofa again. “So, Irene, tell me, other than your parents and sister, is there someone else waiting for you on Saint Paul?”
She guffawed, nearly spitting out her coffee. “Umm … no way. Who’d be there?”
“I don’t know … That boyfriend you mentioned.”
“That was seventeen years ago, Alex.” She shook her head. “Nope, I’m going to show up, forgive my sister, hope that she apologizes back, see if my parents still think I’m Satan’s spawn, and then go from there. If things go well, I’ll spend a bit of time. If not …” She sighed. “There’s a hostel on the island. If they don’t want me, I guess I’ll be holing up there. Maybe wait until March when I can charter a respectable pilot.”
“I could come get you …”
Her slow blink indicated he’d struck out again. “Alex, let’s just call this what it is —”
“That’s right, a one-night stand — two-night actually. Man, I feel so cheap.”
She laughed. “I’m sure.”
“So, what’s in San Fran? Pretty nice that your job has given you so much time off. Don’t you have someone back there —”
She lowered her eyes and looked at the table before he could even finish his question. She shifted her gaze to her lap, where she was cradling her hands, her fingers massaging the back of one hand.
Alex's Atonement (Midnight Sons Book 2) Page 15