“I know!” he whispered to himself, as he maintained the grin. “It ith a lucky day!”
Thubway Tham, be it known, was superstitious to a high degree. Being a professional pickpocket, Tham was compelled by the nature of affairs to use a certain amount of caution during his business hours. During the years he had acquired the conviction that certain things were fortunate for him, and that certain other things were not. And above all, he had learned to respect a “hunch,” and to “play” it for all that it might be worth.
It was a common hunch that he felt now—that this was to be a day of good fortune. So he hummed a song as he bathed and dressed, and then stood before the window and looked down into the alley with its litter of boxes and cans, its shrieking children, its complaining women, and its tired-looking men. Tham was in such good spirits that he found the spectacle pleasing.
A few minutes later Thubway Tham descended the rickety stairs and so came to the second floor of the lodging house, where Nosey Moore had an office. Nosey was sitting behind his battered desk, puffing with evident contentment at a huge pipe which Thubway Tham had given him the Christmas before. He looked up as Tham approached and took the pipe from his mouth.
“Good mornin’, Tham!” Moore said.
“And good mornin’ yourthelf. Nothey!” Thubway Tham responded. “It ith goin’ to be a fine day!”
Ordinary morning greetings, you will notice, such as might have been exchanged between a respectable grocer and an ambitious butcher. Nothing queer or mysterious about it. Yet Thubway Tham was the best pickpocket in the city—even the police department admitting that—and Nosey Moore was a retired burglar who claimed that he had retired because the game was too tame for him these days. Conducting a lodging house gave him more genuine excitement, he declared, and he thought that it was burglary, in a way, to be a landlord.
And yet these two precious rascals, whose photographs adorned the rogues’ gallery, gave ordinary morning greetings, showing that they were human beings only, though connected with nefarious lines of endeavor. And then both grinned.
“What ith the newth, if any?” Thubway Tham asked, pausing in the act of lighting his morning cigarette.
“Tham, my boy, if there is any news worth mentionin’, I haven’t heard about it,” he declared.
“Well, then there ithn’t any,” Thubway Tham replied. “Nothey, I’ve got a hunch that thith ith goin’ to be a lucky day for me!”
Nosey Moore glanced up in sudden alarm.
“You watch out for that hunch, Tham,” the landlord said earnestly. “I got in trouble once, playin’ a hunch like that. Old Mrs. Fate makes a guy feel that he’s about due for a run of good luck, gets him a little careless, and then slips over a knock-out on his chin! Take my warnin’ and play the game close to your manly chest, Tham, if you’ve got that lucky feelin’. Maybe it’s only indigestion, anyway!”
“Well, my goodnethth!” Tham gasped out. “You’re quite thome peththimitht, Nothey. You’d thour pickleth!”
“Is that so?” Moore asked.
“Yeth! You look on the dark thide of thingth all the time, and that ith the bunk!”
“Uh-huh!” the landlord replied sarcastically. “I’ve seen you optimistic birds lose your feathers several times durin’ my short career. Grin and bear it—that’s your motto! Be happy, happy! Smile at the judge and thank him when he hands you a ten stretch! That’s you!”
“Great Thcott!” Tham ejaculated.
“And now you’ve got the idea that this is goin’ to be a lucky day for you, and the chances are that old Mrs. Fate is grindin’ a knife right this minute and preparin’ to slick you between your ribs with it.”
“I don’t know the lady,” Thubway Tham declared. “But there will be no knife thlipped between my ribth today. It ith a lucky day, I tell you. I can feel it! Dog-gone! You want it to cloud up and rain all the time!”
“Uh-huh!” the landlord grunted. “I only hope that you’ll be able to turn in tonight at the usual time and in the usual place, Tham. I hope you won’t be compelled to sleep in a cell on a hard bunk, old boy.”
“Well, my goodnethth!”
“If I was you, Tham, I wouldn’t for worlds try to lift a leather today. I’d take a walk, or go to the park, or somethin’ like that. I’d stay out of the subway and run every time I saw a dick or a cop!”
“You thertainly make me thick!” Thubway Tham told him. “You are a thimp!”
Tham snorted angrily, and descended the stairs to the street. Nosey Moore had attempted to throw cold water upon his enthusiasm, but it was at the point of blazing up again. It would take more than a soured and disgruntled landlord to change Tham’s mind.
So at the first corner Tham’s enthusiasm burst into sudden flame again. Happening to glance down at the curb, Tham saw something glittering in the bright sunshine. He stooped and picked it up. It was a cheap tie pin of the near-gold variety in the shape of a horseshoe and studded with imitation diamonds. It was worth about thirty-five cents over any bargain counter, but to Thubway Tham it was a symbol which represented good luck.
“A horthethhoe!” Tham gasped out, grinning again. “A good-luck horthethhoe! And that thilly Nothey Moore tried to make me think that thith ith not my lucky day!”
He fastened the horseshoe beneath the lapel of his coat and hurried on toward the little restaurant where he usually breakfasted. His enthusiasm was flaming again. Nosey Moore could take his croaking and travel hence with it! Thubway Tham knew a lucky day when he met one!
Tham ate his usual breakfast, the check for which should have been exactly fifty cents. The check he received was for forty cents only, another indication of good luck, and his belief in the day of good fortune was confirmed. Leaving the restaurant, Tham continued along the crowded streets toward Madison Square, his favorite resting place, and there he sat down on a bench and wondered whether Detective Craddock, his friend and enemy, would put in an appearance, as he did usually at this hour.
And Thubway Tham did not have long to wait. The big headquarters man came slowly along the walk, and, looking over the crowd, he saw Thubway Tham, grinned, and sat down beside him. Detective Craddock seemed to be in a rare good humor.
“Tho I thee your ugly fathe again, do I?” Tham said growlingly.
“Even so, Tham, old-timer,” the detective replied. “We always manage to be around when we are wanted.”
“And thometimeth when you are not wanted,” Tham told him. “You are a petht.”
“Tham, your tone surprises me! And we are about to part for a few days, too.”
“How ith that?” Tham wanted to know.
“Well, the police out in St. Louis have put violent hands upon a gent wanted badly in little old New York,” the detective explained. “In other words, he is being detained. And I have been selected by my chief to journey to the Missouri metropolis and bring this gent back to face the consequences of his many crimes. I leave this evening, and am to be gone five or six days.
“Thith ith my lucky day!” Tham gasped out.
“Do you intend for me to gather, Tham, my boy, that you are glad I am not to be in the neighborhood for a few days?”
“You can gather at leatht that much,” Tham told him promptly. “I hope you like Thaint Louith tho much that you dethide never to come back!”
“Tham, you surprise me again! You know very well, old-timer, that life for you without my frequent presence would be nothing but a sad burden.”
“Yeth?” Tham asked. “I could manage to thtruggle along, I guethth. I would forthe mythelf to endure your abthenthe, Craddock. It would be hard lineth and would pain me greatly, but I would try to bear up under it.”
“It seems to me that your smile is brighter than usual this morning, Tham.”
“Uh-huh! Poththibly tho! You thee, I’ve got a hunch that thith ith a lucky day.”
“In that case, possibly I’d better trail right along with you and protect the purses of the populace, or something like that.”
“Thuit yourthelf, Craddock,” Thubway Tham replied. “All the dickth in the world and Brooklyn couldn’t worry me any when I am havin’ a lucky day!”
“Got a hunch, have you?”
“I’ll thay I have? And it ith workin’ out, too. I found a horthethhoe thith mornin’—and now you thay that you are goin’ away for a time. And thothe are indicationth that my good luck ith buthy and goin’ thtrong.”
“Well, well! But bolts have been known to come from a blue sky, Tham!”
“You can’t worry me any,” Thubway Tham declared. “It ith one lucky day! I hope that you have a nithe trip, Craddock. I hope they keep you out there a month!”
“Huh! You seem to forget, old boy, that there are other detectives in the department. Possibly somebody will have his eyes on you though I be gone.”
“Poththibly! And poththibly I don’t care a whoop if they do,” Tham replied. “If you have any little errandth to run before catchin’ your train, don’t let me delay you, Craddock!”
“Why, Tham! You are positively insulting this morning,” Craddock told him, grinning.
“Maybe tho!”
“I hope that nobody catches you with the goods while I am gone, Tham. I hope to have that honor myself.”
“Uh-huh! You have been tryin’ to do that for thome little time,” Tham reminded him. “I’ll be in thome old man’th home before you get me, Craddock!”
“Well, Tham, I must go on down the street. I’ll see you when I get back.”
“Not if I thee you firtht,” Thubway Tham told him.
II.
Leaving Madison Square a few minutes later, firm in the belief that this was a lucky day, Thubway Tham made his way to Broadway and continued along it toward Times Square.
Passing through a crowd on a busy corner, he felt a touch on his arm. Tham turned slowly, to find “Nifty” Noel beside him.
Nifty Noel was known as the dude of the underworld. He had a passion for fine raiment. He would go without a meal to buy the latest in cravats. He frequented hotels where he was not known to the house detectives and swindled men and women.
And he was not always in funds. When he was not he often borrowed from his friends. Few could refuse him, for he had magnetism and a personality of a sort. But Nifty Noel seldom repaid these small loans, evidently forgetting all about them.
“Want to see you a second, Tham,” Nifty Noel said.
So Thubway Tham stepped aside with him, thinking that Nifty Noel was about to negotiate a small loan, and wondering whether he would have the strength to refuse. Noel led him out of the crowd and into the side street.
“Tham,” he said, “I owe you twenty dollars.”
“I guethth that ith correct, Nifty.”
“And I’m flush and want to pay you,” Noel continued. He drew a bundle of currency from his coat pocket, peeled off a twenty-dollar bill, and gave it to Tham. “Many thanks,” he said.
“Thankth yourthelf,” Tham replied. The affair had quite staggered him. Nifty Noel repaying borrowed money was something new, a thing scarcely to be understood.
Noel waved a hand and continued down the street, and Thubway Tham slipped the bill into his pocket and scratched at his head just behind the left ear.
“It thertainly ith a lucky day,” Tham told himself. “If I told thith to thome of the boyth they would not believe me. My goodnethth! Noel payin’ back coin!”
He continued along Broadway, reached Times Square, and descended into the subway. He caught a crowded downtown express, glanced around the car to make sure that there was no detective of his acquaintance near, and then began looking for prospective victims.
It did not take Tham long to locate one. Standing in the aisle a few feet from him was a large man with ah air of prosperity about him. Thubway Tham knew at the first glance that this man was, the sort of individual to carry a wallet in his hip pocket. He edged nearer without loss of time.
Far downtown, at a crowded station, Thubway Tham got the wallet from the unlucky individual, slipped up to the street, managed to drop the “leather,” and walked around until he was at some distance from the subway. Then he examined what he had taken from the wallet. He had eighty dollars in currency.
“Lucky day!” Tham told himself, grinning once more. “All fiveth and tenth, too. Couldn’t be identified in a million yearth. Nothey Moore ith an idiot!”
Ten minutes later he was back in the subway again and on an uptown express. The car was only moderately filled, and Tham felt a touch of disappointment. Nobody near him looked as though he would pay a dividend to a professional pickpocket. Tham decided that the ride uptown would be without profit.
He sat down, something he seldom did in the subway. He noticed a mild-looking little man of middle age near him. The little man was colorless. He did not seem possessed of much energy. He looked at Tham and blinked, and Tham looked away.
Tham left the train at Times Square and ascended to the street. He started up Broadway. For the second time that day he felt a light touch on his arm. Turning swiftly, he was surprised to find the mild-looking man at his elbow.
“I—I’d like to speak to you, sir,” said the stranger.
Thubway Tham had learned that it is not always profitable to let strangers talk to one. “Busy!” he said growlingly.
“Please!” the little man said. “It—er—it is necessary, I feel, and it will be to your advantage.”
“Well, my goodnethth!” Tham gasped out. “What ith it all about?”
“Suppose we—er—step aside so that nobody can overhear?”
Tham stepped aside. The mild-appearing man glanced around cautiously and then spoke in very low tones.
“Are you not,” he asked, “the gentleman known as Thubway Tham?”
“Thuppothe I am?”
“I wish to assure you that this conversation is strictly confidential,” the stranger said. “Bear with me until I have finished. It—it is a bit unusual and embarrassing.”
“My goodnethth!” Tham gasped out.
“I am—er—connected with a large firm and have a position of responsibility,” the stranger said. “A short time ago I almost succumbed to temptation. I handle a great deal of money, and I got the old idea into my head that I should have some of that which I handled. You follow me?”
“Yeth, thir!” Tham said.
“So I decided to steal. I made certain collections that day, and had about four hundred dollars in an old green wallet, I decided to steal that four hundred dollars from my employers and say that I had lost the money, or that it had been stolen. If I had taken that first crooked step, my life would have been ruined, I feel sure.”
“You interetht me thrangely,” said Tham.
“Kindly bear with me,” said the mild-mannered man. “I know that this is unusual to a degree. As I was saying—I decided to steal the money, but could not bring myself to taking it out of the wallet. I got on a subway express far downtown, and while I was riding my pocket was picked.”
“I don’t know anything about it!” Tham declared instantly.
“You have nothing to fear from me, my dear sir, I am not saying that I intend having you punished. On the other hand, I wish to reward you.”
“What ith thith?” Tham asked.
“Had you not stolen my wallet, the chances are that I would have taken the money. As it is, I realized how perilously near I had been to turning crook. And I thank you for it, sir.”
“My goodnethth!” Tham gasped out.
“By your nimble work you saved me from a life of crime, for which I scarcely am fitted. Disaster would have been my lot, I feel certain.”
“Thay! Are you accuthin’ me of thtealin’ your wallet?” Tham wanted to know.
“Oh, we understand each other,” the other replied. “I wish to reward you, as I have said. I went to police headquarters and looked at the rogues’ gallery. I saw your picture and read your history. I remembered that I had seen you on the subway car in which I had been rid
ing. So I felt sure you were the man I wished to reward.”
“But—” Tham began.
“Please let me show my gratitude,” said the stranger. “I have here two hundred and fifty dollars, which I wish to give to you. I want you to take it, live on it while you seek honest employment. You saved me from becoming a thief. Your appearance at that time was almost providential. I have repaid the money you stole, and I have prospered from that day, especially on the market. Take this currency, my dear sir, and allow me to express the wish that you will see the error of your ways.”
He took the money without realizing just what he was doing. Before he could speak again, the mild little man had plunged into the crowd and was gone.
Thubway Tham turned back toward Times Square and the subway station there. His brain was in a whirl.
“It thertainly ith my lucky day!” he told himself. “Craddock ith goin’ away, Nifty Noel payth me twenty dollarth he hath owed me for yearth, and now thith bird handth me a wad for nothin’. Yeth, it thertainly ith my lucky day!”
He made his way slowly along the street. And his thoughts changed as superstition came to him again. This was “hoodoo” money, he felt sure. If he accepted that money and then did not reform, he would meet with disaster. That was easily to be understood.
Thubway Tham had a moment of something like panic. The currency seemed to be on fire in his coat pocket. He felt like taking it out and throwing it into the street.
He did not really need that money, he told himself. He was in funds, and he could get more easily, especially if Craddock was not around to pester him. It would be a great deal better to be rid of this honest money.
Thubway Tham made up his mind. He plunged down the stairs and went to the subway platform. He pressed into the crowd, and he dropped that roll of bills into the coat pocket of a hard-working clerk and then passed on.
Somehow, he felt better and safer. He would have no hoodoo money on his person, he declared to himself. He boarded a downtown express and did not seem to care that there was nobody on the car worth trying to rob.
Far downtown he ascended to the street and walked leisurely along it. For the third time that day there was a touch on his arm. Thubway Tham turned in surprise.
The Thubway Tham Megapack Page 7