“You’re a sight for sore eyes,” he said, looking down on me, and grabbed my face with both hands. I closed my eyes as he brought his lips to mine, and I wanted to collapse when my knees went weak. It’d been more than three years since I’d touched him, and to have his lips pressed against mine was beyond intense. Tender kisses circled my mouth, and his tongue gently parted my lips. He was warm and minty, just like I remembered him.
“This can’t be real. I must be dreaming,” I whispered. He continued to kiss me, deeply and ardently.
A high-pitched whistle blew loudly near us. “Move along, move along!” a bulky and warmly bundled police officer shouted, waiving his gloved hand at us.
Jake looked up over my shoulder and lightly pushed me away. “Yes sir,” he said sternly, and gave me a cunning grin. Jake bent down to grab my bag and I finally noticed how tiny his car was. It was a black Fiat. He maneuvered my bag behind the seats. “Your chariot awaits, Mademoiselle,” he said, making a sweeping gesture at his giant roller skate of a car.
I played along and curtsied, then stepped toward the car in a regal manner, giggling. I always knew that the passenger and driver seats were opposite from American cars, but to see it firsthand was trippy. As I folded into the black leather seat, he bent down, kissing me again on the forehead. Butterflies fluttered up my spine. The car was warm and toasty. A shiver ran through me as I rubbed at my cold nose and adjusted the vents on the dashboard. The warm air blew over my face and I watched as Jake rounded the front of the car. He looked strikingly handsome, and bit older, too, with the slight stubble at his jaw. His neatly cut, wavy hair fit his new look perfectly. He wore a black wool jacket with a maroon scarf tucked into it and slim fitting pants. I would have never thought that he’d wear a scarf, especially a colored one. He’d made the transition to a stylishly dressed Brit, wearing black dress shoes. I was enamored. He looked amazingly put together.
I looked at him thoughtfully as he shut his door and turned the keys in the ignition. His eyes finally met mine and he reached out and wrapped his cold hand around my neck, pulling me towards him. It was such a familiar act, and I was brought back to that first time I slid onto his lap in the cab of his truck all those years ago.
“Too bad this car is so small, I’m inclined to crawl into your lap,” I purred into his mouth. His tongue grazed my lips.
He nuzzled my ear. “You’ll be able to crawl all over me really soon.” He released my neck and one tender peck hit the tip of my nose. The engine revved. “You ready to see some shit?”
I clapped my hands. It was a silly reaction, I supposed, and I stopped myself, clenching my hands together in my lap. “Yes, indeed, Mr. Tour Guide,” I said, reverting back to my haughty role-play.
“You got it.” He winked.
I was breathless as we speed out of the airport, but we quickly came to a stop. The traffic at Heathrow was just as bad as Los Angeles. Cars were bumper to bumper, and I tripped out on the big bright yellow license plates British cars wore. Did they really have to be that loud looking? As I took in the sights all around me, I was eager to experience the English culture. It couldn’t be that much different than ours, right? Jake reached over, taking my hand. Every gesture of his pulled me back in like a vacuum, making my arrival in London that much more of a relief. Being with him felt right, almost like no time had passed. Staring at him wasn’t enough. I leaned over, taking his cheek in my hand and kissing the other. It was warm and rough. I kept brushing my lips over his jawline. I don’t remember his face ever feeling this coarse.
A little moan escaped me, but I didn’t care. The newness of him was a turn-on. “Mmm. Since when did you get so rugged? I like it.”
“You do?” he hummed deeply.
“Yes. I do.”
“When did you become so audacious?”
I laughed softly and snuggled closer to him, resting my head on his shoulder. “Maybe when I turned eighteen.” I hugged his arm tighter as he shifted gears. “Or maybe it’s just that you bring something out in me, like you always have.”
“You’re making it difficult for me to concentrate on driving, Alycat,” he said, kissing the top of my head.
Yeah, well, I’ve had a difficult time concentrating the last three years, ever since I fell in love with you.
7
We whipped past the cookie cutter townhomes in Jake’s Notting Hill neighborhood. Most of the residential streets would have looked like carbon copies if it weren’t for the different colored facades differentiating each residence, some looking like the Starburst candy rainbow. We pulled up in front of a more lightly hued bundle of homes—violet, yellow, green and blue. As soon as Jake turned off the engine, a force swelled inside me and my heart began to race. This was it. I was here and we were about to truly be alone for the first time in ages.
“Why so quiet?” Jake inquired, reaching over shaking my leg.
I smiled. “I just can’t believe I’m here, with you.” I couldn’t help but look at him longingly. I’d worried how I would feel about him when I saw him again, and clearly I was more in love with him than ever. I only hoped he felt it as strongly as I did.
He exhaled, heavily. “Aly, I’m happy your here. I’m totally stoked on it.”
There was something on his mind, I could tell. “But what?”
He shook his head, grabbing the top of it. Uh oh, I thought. This was his agitated-something’s-on-his-mind maneuver. “Nothing.” He smiled and leaned over, kissing me hard on the lips. “I’m just really happy with how this feels right now, because I have something for you, so let’s go.”
My stomach flipped. What could it be? I hated and loved surprises all at the same time. I was so excited, I could have exploded. I trembled inside and wondered if he could tell my limbs were shaking as I stepped onto the curb. Jake had my luggage in his hand, and he grabbed mine with his free one, taking me toward the steps of the green painted abode.
“I live on the top floor. There’s an elevator, an old one, but it works,” he said, dropping my hand. He pointed toward the brushed copper metal door at the end of the foyer. I slowly walked toward it with my heart clattering in my chest. I took slow, deliberate breaths, trying to steady my nerves. I sighed softly, telling myself to stop it. I knew what was going to happen. This was what I wanted, right? I just wondered how it would go down. Would he instantly throw me on his bed? Or what? Would he wait for me to make the first move? Ugh. I needed a drink. I thought of my mother and her drinking her glasses of wine to relax. That’s what I needed. I needed to relax, and Jake did too, apparently. I noticed a shift in his demeanor as soon as we pulled up in front of his house.
The sound of mechanical parts grinding and rubbing together filled the air. I unbuttoned my coat and finally untied the scarf around my neck as I looked around at the old fixtures and carved ceiling above me. Jake placed my bag on the floor while we waited. This was an old building, and I thought of how many people had stood where we stood. I stepped behind Jake and wrapped my arms around his waist. I wanted to be as close to him as I could, for as long as possible. His cool hands rubbed the tops of mine, and I slipped them under his jacket, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath my hands. An ache pulsed through me, and it made me sigh. My head moved back and forth as it pressed against his back, and he sighed deeply too.
“I really hope you’re ok with this. Sometimes I think you’re just being nice because of everything that’s happened.”
He chuckled. “Don’t be silly.” His arms dropped. He took my hips into his hands and he sighed again. His thumbs massaged my hipbones. “I swear, I couldn’t want this more.”
My heart swelled at hearing his words. I couldn’t want this more either.
Finally, we arrived at his front door, and he placed my bag on the floor. He fumbled with the keys for a minute, finally opening it. He was acting nervous. Could he really be? Could it possibly be more nerve-wracking for him because he knew he was about to take my virginity?
The door swung open
, and I went to step inside, but he grabbed my arm. “Hold up.” He looked me in the eyes intently, smiling. “Come here.” He suddenly scooped me up into his arms, cradling me.
“Oh my God, Jake, stop it!” I laughed, burying my head in his chest.
“What? This is how we do it. Like old times.” He stepped inside. “Welcome to your temporary home, darlin’.”
I hugged him tightly as he dropped me to the floor. I turned, and the first thing I noticed were the black and white photos of me, hanging as big as life on the red wall across the room. The ones we’d taken all those years ago.
Holy shit.
I gasped, covering my mouth and looked at him. “Oh Jake.” I was in complete shock. This must have been the surprise, as I most certainly was. I wondered how long they’d been hanging there. “How long have you had those hanging there?”
He smiled and glinted at me. “For as long as I’ve been here…and every other place I’ve holed up in.” His eyes roamed me adoringly, pulling me to him.
Without a word, I stepped over to him, wrapping my hands around his neck, pulling his face to mine. I wove my fingers through his hair, and he slipped the jacket from my shoulders. It dropped to the floor. I unzipped his and eagerly untied his scarf from around his neck. We stood there, breathless in our expectation, and I rested my forehead against his chin. We were motionless, as if waiting for the other to make a move, and finally he did. He turned, grabbing my hand and my mind raced. Was this it? Was it gonna happen now?
We walked toward the…kitchen and living area. Really? Did I miss something? I sucked in some air. I really need to get a grip. I glanced around the modern kitchen with its stainless steel appliances and black granite counter tops and I wondered if he had any wine. I’d grown fond of wine from stealing sips from my mother’s glass over the years. “Do you have any wine?”
He turned and looked at me incredulously, grinning. “Really?”
“Yeah… you know to take the edge off,” I chirped.
He brushed my cheek with his fingers. “I’ve got some wine.” He let go of my hand and I relaxed a tiny bit, taking a seat at the small counter space. I looked back over at the wall of black and white photos. If I didn’t know they were of me, I supposed you couldn’t really tell. But if someone were to point it out, it would be obvious. I wondered what his bandmates thought. Looking back at Jake, he was uncorking a bottle of red wine.
“You see, it’s legal for me to drink here.” I nodded, matter-of-fact. “I could even go buy it if I wanted to,” I said it as if it was something he didn’t already know.
“Well you just might have the privilege to do that if you drink more than this,” he said, holding up the bottle. “It’s the only one I have.” His eyes continued to roam my face. I could see the wheels turning behind his eyes, he had something else on his mind, and it was killing me that he wouldn’t spit it out.
He took a stemless wine glass from an open shelf and filled it up halfway. To my continued amazement, he took another glass down and filled one for himself. I wasn’t sure what to think, because I knew he was in AA or some program where he wasn’t supposed to be drinking or anything else. I immediately felt bad.
I swallowed. “Aren’t you not supposed to be drinking?”
“Not really, but drinking was never my problem. I stick to beer and wine on occasion.” He winked. “And right now this is a perfect occasion. Cheers, Alycat, welcome to London.”
I went warm and bubbly inside. It’d been years, and I supposed he knew what he was doing by now. By the looks of it, he certainly had his shit together. He’d made his dream of becoming a rockstar come true. A few glasses here and there clearly weren’t causing any problems with his career. “Cheers.” I smiled and took a drink.
We sipped our wine, staring at each other. I could feel that pulsing veiled energy between us, and it seemed stronger that it ever was. With each sip, I grew warmer and warmer. I hadn’t eaten anything since I took off nearly sixteen hours prior. I was starving.
“Are you tired?” Jake asked as he came up to me and took my hand. “Let’s go sit over here.” He led me just a few short steps to a dark brown leather sofa.
I plopped down and took my boots off, tossing them one by one over to a corner. “I’m not really tired. I’m hungry, and I’m too excited to be here and...” I smiled sweetly as I blabbed. “And I hope you don’t mind me making myself at home.”
He chuckled. “I wouldn’t expect anything else.” His lips curled warmly at me, but a pensive air remained.
I took a gulp of my wine and smacked my lips together. “Okay,” I said, placing my glass down on the table next to me. I moved onto to my knees and gently pushed Jake by the shoulders back into the sofa, straddling him.
Amusement sprung onto his face. “Whoa, watch it, Alycat, I gotta full glass here,” he said, holding the glass higher, steadying its sloshing red liquid. I grabbed the glass out of his hand and leaned back, placing it on the coffee table. Both of his hands wrapped around my hips, and my thighs instantly began to throb.
“You need to spit it out. I see those wheels turning.” I tapped the side of his head. “You’re not acting normal. I know something’s up.” I gently poked my finger at his chest. “What is it?”
His eyes twinkled and he looked at me dreamy. He moaned softly, “There’s nothing wrong.” He brought his face to mine and kissed me passionately. I went up into flames in an instant. The firmness of him pressed against me made me instantly wet, and kissing him made me want to rip his clothes off. His hands went up into my blouse, cupping my boobs, and my desire for him peaked.
“I want you,” I whispered, nearly whimpering. I was crushed by my hunger for him and I could barely breathe.
“You have no idea,” he said, as breathless. “Ok, I have something for you.” He moved me to the side and stood, tugging and adjusting himself.
“What? You have to give it to me now?” I laughed at him like he’d lost his mind. I knew I was losing mine.
He disappeared behind a wall of thick black fabric that hung from the vaulted ceiling, coming back as quickly as he vanished. He held something clutched in his hand. “It’s your birthday present and…” He paused, looking at it. “And a something a little more.”
He looked completely disheveled and delicious; he made me crazy, and now even crazier as my heart raced staring at his hand and back at his sparkling blue eyes. It was little box. Jewelry. “Oh Jake.” I covered my mouth with my hand. I seriously never expected in my wildest dreams that he could ever be this romantic. I sat up straight on the sofa and he crouched down beside me. He took in a deep breath and flipped open the lid of the little black box and I gasped.
It was a ring. A Ring! It wasn’t an engagement ring, but it was still a ring. Oh. My. God.
My hand remained shielding my gaping mouth, as if to keep my heart from jumping out of my throat. “Oh my god, it’s beautiful, Jake,” I managed to squeak out. I stared at the gold band with slivers of different colored stones embedded all around it. The largest stone was a ruby, and they all looked like broken glass, completely unique and exquisite, unlike anything I’d ever seen.
“Happy Birthday.” He took in a deep breath. “And I want you to know I wanna spend the rest of my life with you.” His eyes penetrated mine. “Marry me?”
All the air sucked out of my lungs.
8
“What?” I asked, stunned, and searched his eyes as if I was hearing things. “Jake.” I didn’t know what else to say. Was he serious? Shit. He was totally serious by the look on his face.
He took the ring out of the box and stared at it, rolling it between his fingers. “I know you’re only eighteen. I know that we’re young, but I can’t imagine my life without you.”
He finally looked up and his eyes met my tears. “I want nothing more than to be with you. I want this to last forever.” I was so overcome with emotion and elation and so many other feelings.
He smiled, a bit sadly, staring back at th
e ring. “But you’re not saying yes.” He searched my eyes. “Look, Aly, I don’t expect you to marry me today, but if you wanted to, I would. I would take you right now and marry you.”
“That’s not what I came here for, Jake…”
“Hey,” he cut in. “I know. This is all me, Aly.” He placed the palm of his hand to his chest.
“I would marry you, Jake, I want to marry you. I dream about having the perfect life with you.” Why wasn’t I saying yes? I wanted to say yes, but I was afraid. All I thought about were my parents; obviously I wasn’t grown up enough if I kept thinking about my parents.
We sat silent for a few long seconds, both staring at the ring. “It’s beautiful, Jake.” I lifted his chin. “I love you, so much, beyond words.”
He bit his bottom lip, searching my face and cleared his throat. “This is my promise to you, Alyssa. When you’re ready, we’ll get married.”
“I love you.” I cupped his face in my hands and kissed his perfectly formed lips softly.
He backed away. “Let’s put it on this finger, then.” He picked up my right hand. “Unless you want to put it on your left.”
I smiled, apprehensively. “I don’t know. I mean, my parents would shit themselves if I came home engaged, Jake.” I gripped his hand. “I do want this…But I’m not even graduated high school yet. I have college. I don’t want to disappoint my parents more than I already have,” I blurted out miserably, because I so badly wanted to just disappear with him and not worry about what my parents thought.
“I know. I thought about all those things.” He hung his head.
Was it disappointment I heard in his voice? Or relief? I was torn with wanting to jump up and scream yes; yes I’ll marry you, and with remaining steadfast with my future plans.
“Jake, I’m coming to New York after I graduate. Just like we talked. I want to have a life with you. That’s why I’m here. I want all of you, all the time.” I laughed nervously. “And I just think maybe you need to talk to my dad, first, if you’re gonna marry me.”
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