by Soraya Lane
Hope stared back at him, her bagel still in one hand, a napkin in the other. Suddenly it was like she was attempting to swallow a small rock when she tried to chew and digest another bite.
“I guess we did eat breakfast together a lot,” she managed, avoiding the fact he’d brought something for Harrison.
“Are you kidding?” he said, ripping his bag open at the same time as he made himself comfortable on a barstool. “Half the time we were eating breakfast before we’d even been to bed after a big night.”
She chuckled, the feeling of nostalgia passing as she remembered their early years at college. “You’re referring to the nights when you hadn’t taken some gorgeous leggy blonde back to your dorm, right?”
He frowned, eyebrows drawing together. “Hey, I didn’t discriminate. There’s nothing wrong with a beautiful brunette.”
“Seriously though, you definitely had a thing for blondes.”
His frown faded, his expression more serious. “Maybe I was trying to compensate for not being able to have the blonde I really wanted.”
If she’d been trying to swallow stones before, now she was trying to swallow rocks. “Coffee,” she muttered, realizing her machine was still on. Just her luck she’d have burned the motor out leaving it on so long with not enough water in it, and these days it wasn’t like she could just go out and buy another one. “You still take it black with sugar?”
She heard him move behind her, his boots scuffing against her wooden floor.
“I’ll always feel like a shit for ruining our friendship that night, Hope, but it wasn’t like I hadn’t wanted it for a long time.”
She tried to ignore him, focused on the coffee machine, on filling it up with water and setting both cups on the tray. They’d gone over this last night, talked around what had happened, and it wasn’t something she wanted to discuss when she was sober. She’d done her best to block out that night, to push away her guilt, but with Chase standing behind her, his feelings on the matter more than clear, it wasn’t exactly easy.
Hope froze. Chase’s hands touched her shoulders, his palms firm as his thumbs locked at the top of her back. His touch was light yet firm, making her want to lean into him and relax at the same time as wanting to escape his hold and run.
“Seeing you again, it’s brought everything back,” Chase said, his voice gruff as he leaned in. His breath was hot against her neck, his hand moving to gently scoop up her hair and brush it to one side so her bare skin was exposed. Goose pimples rippled across her entire body, her fingers barely functioning as she tried to continue making the coffee.
“Things have changed,” Hope murmured, trying to stay focused, to not be swayed by Chase’s touch. If he knew the truth he wouldn’t be saying any of this to her. “I’ve changed.”
“Yeah, but this hasn’t,” he insisted, his mouth closing over her neck, lips so smooth, so delicate against her that her knees were in danger of buckling. “Nothing about how much I want you has changed. Just now we don’t have to worry about screwing up our friendship. We already did that.”
Hope reached to flick the switch on the machine. Her brain was telling her to be sensible, but she couldn’t. Instead she wavered, let her body take over, resting back ever so slightly against Chase, his chest firm against her back, his frame big and comforting as he slid his hands slowly over her shoulders and down her arms, drawing her back.
“Mom?”
Hope leaped forward, smashing her hip into the counter she moved so fast. “Harrison!” She as good as shoved Chase on her way past to get to her boy, her heart swelling as she saw him standing there in the middle of the kitchen, hair sticking up in every which direction, his teddy clutched tight against his chest as he stared at the strange man in the house.
Hope bent and placed a smacking kiss on his forehead before scooping him up into her arms. Her blood still felt like it was on fire and pumping around her body at a rapid pace, her body screaming out to her that the man she wanted was still so close, but she stayed focused on her son. When he was with her, nothing else mattered—not even Chase King. She was a mom and that was just the way it had to be.
“Sorry, sweetheart, I was just about to come back up and check on you.”
“Who’s that?” he asked, peering over her shoulder as she cuddled him.
Hope turned slowly, taking a deep breath and holding Harrison even tighter. His legs were looped around her waist and he leaned back to get a better look at Chase when she faced him. This was a moment she’d never imagined, not in a million years.
Harrison, this is your dad. That’s what she should have been saying. Only she’d planned on keeping this a secret forever, or maybe she just hadn’t accepted that this was something she had to face one day. Instead she took a deep breath and forced a smile, her heart starting its rapid beat.
“Sweetheart, this is mommy’s friend Chase. Chase, this is Harrison.”
“Harris,” her son said, wriggling to get down. “Only Mom calls me Harrison.”
Hope forced her breath out, her lungs constricted enough without forgetting to exhale. The sensible part of her knew that there was no way Chase would put two and two together, that all he’d see was a cute kid and not even think about who his father might be. As far as he was concerned she’d had a husband, and he was the dad. But another little part of her wondered if he might see the resemblance, if the deep brown eyes mirroring his would set off something inside him that told him the truth.
She watched, helpless, as Harrison took a couple of steps closer to Chase, his teddy tucked firmly under one arm now as he sized up the man in front of him.
“Hey, Harris,” Chase said, dropping to his haunches and holding out his hand. “I’m a friend of your mom’s from way back when she was at college studying to be a veterinarian.”
Harrison eyed him, not taking his hand but watching him anyway.
“How about a high five instead?” Chase asked, holding up his hand and grinning when Harrison touched palms with him.
“Why were you touching my mom before?” Harrison asked.
Hope clamped a hand over her mouth, meeting Chase’s gaze as they both tried not to laugh. She could see that he was finding keeping a straight face even harder than she was.
“That’s a great question, buddy,” he said, still staying at eye level with Harrison, facing his accuser. “You’re pretty protective over your mom, huh?”
Harrison nodded and she moved closer to her son, dropping a hand to his shoulder.
“Chase used to be Mommy’s best friend,” she told him, letting Chase off the hook. “He was trying to help me with the, ah, coffee machine.” She didn’t like lying to her son, but it wasn’t like she had another option right now. Besides, if she was honest with herself, she’d been lying to him all his life where Chase was concerned.
“How about I make that coffee,” Chase said, clearing his throat and rising. His eyes were dancing with humor, the corner of his mouth tilting upward just enough to make his dimple crease. “Black?” he asked her.
Hope dropped a kiss into Harrison’s hair, inhaling the sweet smell of his shampoo as she took a deep breath. “Please,” she murmured.
Never in a million years had she expected to end up in Texas again, with Chase King standing at her coffee machine, in her kitchen, and her son wriggling out of her grasp to clamber up onto a barstool to watch him.
“Oh yum, bagels!” Harrison announced, not noticing the box of Froot Loops and bowl she’d put out already for him. He also didn’t seem to notice it already had a bite out of it when he reached for Chase’s discarded bacon and cream cheese one, tucking straight into it.
“Sorry,” Hope whispered when Chase turned around.
He just laughed. “Don’t sweat it, I’ll just have the plain one.”
If only she could just relax instead of being a jangling ball of nerves, but the simple fact that they liked the same bagels only made her feel worse than she already did.
“Was my mom out
with you last night?” Harrison asked as he munched, almost impossible to understand. She wasn’t going to call him out on talking with his mouth full, he’d only get embarrassed and he was having fun chatting.
“Yeah, she was,” Chase replied, turning around again and putting her coffee on the counter.
She mouthed thank you as she slid it down toward her. He grinned back, way too at ease in her kitchen for her to be comfortable.
“Can I go with you next time?”
“Harrison,” she interrupted before Chase had a chance to answer, “how about you and I go out for pizza tonight? It just so happens I’ve heard about a great place.”
“We’ve only just moved here, you know,” her son announced, completely ignoring her, all his attention on Chase. “We come from Canada, but Mom got a new job here.”
“You’ve got a lot to say, little man,” Chase said with a chuckle as he turned again, this time with his coffee cup in his hands. “I think you and I are gonna be good friends.”
Hope’s heart started its rapid-pounding-then-stutter thing, making her feel sick to her stomach. Taking the job here had been a no-brainer, but ending up reconnected with Chase was just downright dangerous. She took a sip of her coffee, grimacing as it burned the tip of her tongue.
She needed to get Chase out of her house, and, like the big bad wolf he was, not let him back in.
* * *
Chase finished his coffee and set the cup on the counter. He watched Hope as she bent down to wipe a smudge of cream cheese off the corner of her son’s mouth, dropping a kiss into his hair before standing back up.
“So what’s your plan for the day?” he asked, taking both their cups to the sink and rinsing them out. He checked the dishwasher and put them in when he saw it had a dirty load.
“I’m heading into work soon,” she said, nodding to Harrison that he could run off. “I need to go and get the little man ready.”
“Do you have a nanny during the week?”
“He goes to pre-K for a few hours each day. I drop him there in the morning, then he has a nanny in the afternoons. She collects him and has him until I come home.”
“That must be tough,” Chase said, noticing the flicker in her gaze when she talked about her nanny. “You guys seem pretty close.”
“We are.” She busied herself squaring up a pile of magazines, clearly not wanting to make eye contact with him. He knew her too well though, could see straight through it. “I guess I never expected to be a working mom. Not like this, anyway.”
He nodded, taking a few steps back toward her now that there were only the two of them in the room again. “You thought you’d be chilling on your ranch, making homemade lemonade and enjoying a brood of children by now, right?”
She laughed, finally looking at him again. “Maybe not an entire brood, and I always wanted to help run the ranch, but yeah. I didn’t expect to be a working single mom with a trail of debt in my wake, that’s for sure.” She turned to glance out the window, needing to gather her thoughts. “The dreams I had seemed realistic a few years ago, and now everything’s just turned to dust.”
“You ever gonna tell me exactly what happened?”
She shrugged. “One day. Right now I’d rather forget it.”
Chase wanted to push her, but he knew the more he pushed the more she’d pull back, even though it was on the tip of his tongue to just ask her to tell him what the hell had happened and get on with it. Maybe she was afraid he’d go and hunt down her ex-husband. Because he damn well would if he could. Whatever had gone on was bad, he knew that instinctively. Hope had always been so focused and determined, would never let anyone take advantage of her or make her do something she didn’t want to do. And yet something about what had happened at home had traumatized her more than she was letting on.
“How about you head over next weekend? Come hang out on our ranch for a bit.”
Her eyebrows shot up, mouth parted as she looked back at him. “Ah…” she murmured, clearly not sure what to say. “I don’t like leaving Harrison. I know it sounds crazy, but going out with you last night was the first time I’ve ever left him with a sitter in the evening. It’s bad enough doing it when I have to work.”
He shrugged. “You’re a mom, I get it. And a damn good one.”
“Thanks.”
“So just bring him with you. He can bunk down when it gets late. We’ll order in pizza or whatever he likes.” Chase smiled. “Hell, if it means seeing you again I’ll drive out myself and get him McDonald’s. Is it still called a Happy Meal?”
“Yes, they’re still called Happy Meals,” she said with a laugh, shaking her head. “But I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.”
“What? Coming over or the take-out-food part?”
“Both of us coming over,” she said.
“Is it so strange? I kinda like kids, and he seems pretty cool.” Chase stepped closer to her, reaching out and touching her hand, stroking his fingers over hers until she looked up at him. She stared for so long at their hands interlocked, a big breath making her body shudder. Chase just stayed still, watched her, wished to hell they were in the house alone so he could kiss that damn fine mouth of hers then jump her up onto the bench and finish what they’d started the night before. He was getting hard just thinking about it, wanting to skim his fingers over bare skin, to explore every inch of her again and get it out of his system.
“Chase, I have to get going otherwise I’ll be late getting Harrison to…”
He cupped her chin with his fingers, holding her still as he leaned in, mouth hovering over hers, giving her the chance to move away if she wanted to. But she didn’t move. Hope’s lips parted, her breath warm against his skin.
“We shouldn’t,” she whispered.
He grunted and shuffled his body even closer. “I know.”
He didn’t give her any longer to think about it, covering her mouth with his, brushing their lips together, cupping the back of her head, her hair silky beneath his touch. Hope moaned, kissing him back, her hand sliding between them and clutching the front of his T-shirt as she locked him in place. Chase slipped a hand around her waist, nudging her pelvis forward so it was slammed against him, his tongue searching out hers.
“Chase,” she whispered against his mouth, palm flat to his chest as she pushed him back. “Stop.”
He groaned, hard as a rock and sure she’d felt it. He wanted her bad, and he wanted her now. “What if I say no?” he muttered.
She sighed and he let go of her, running his hand through her damp hair and down her back.
“You smell great,” he told her, wishing she was stepping into him and not away.
“Chase, we can’t do this.”
Not this again. He didn’t want to talk about why they couldn’t, he wanted to talk about all the reasons why they could. “Why not? We already ruined our friendship years ago.”
She stared at him, long and hard. “We’re different people now. Things have changed. And it’s not just me any longer.”
“And some things are still exactly the same,” he said. “I screwed my way through half a sorority in college, Hope, and you want to know why?” He paused, wondering if he should have shut the hell up, but he’d started now so he might as well just tell her how he felt. “Being around you all the time was torture. Not wanting to fuck up what we had meant I tried to satisfy myself elsewhere, and I can tell you now the best damn night of my life in college was the last one.”
Tears welled in her eyes and he didn’t know why. She brushed them away with the back of her hand, turning away from him, but he wasn’t going to let her.
“Hope?” He reached for her but she moved just far enough back that they didn’t connect. “Baby, what’s wrong?”
“Everything’s changed, Chase. We’re not the same people we were back then.”
“So you’re a mom. I don’t give a damn.” Well, he had, but after talking to Nate he’d realized how stupid he was being.
“Do yo
u remember why we got on so well in the first place?” she asked.
He chuckled. “Because I was trying so damn hard to impress you that you eventually had to talk to me?”
She smiled as she cleared away some of Harrison’s things. “We got talking and we both realized we came from money. You’d been used to girls wanting you because of who you were, and I was just happy to be away from home and be a nobody for a while.”
“I remember,” Chase said. “I liked that there was virtually nothing I had that you didn’t already have yourself, so I trusted you.”
“Except for a private jet. And a status as one of Texas’s most eligible bachelors.”
They both laughed then and Chase leaned forward, elbows on the counter as he watched her load the dishwasher. “So what’re you trying to tell me?”
“I don’t even own this place, Chase. By the time I pay my rent and bills, not to mention the nanny, there’s hardly anything left over. Not a penny. So when I say I’m not the same girl anymore, I mean it.”
He stared at her. “You need money? Is that it?”
“No!” She slammed the dishwasher shut. “But I’m just a regular person now, Chase. I’m not the heiress from the big ranch. I’m just…”
“You’re still just Hope to me,” he said, standing up straight and not taking his eyes off her for a second. “It wasn’t the fact that you had money that made us best buddies.”
“I know,” she muttered. “I’m just finding life tough right now. It’s been a pretty big adjustment, that’s all.”
“Well, for the record, I don’t give a damn whether you have a dollar or a million dollars in your bank account,” he told her. “Now are you coming over this weekend or not?”
She glanced at her watch, eyebrows shooting up. “Shit! I have to go, Chase. I’m seriously late.”
“I’ll let myself out,” he said, grinning as she grabbed a lunch box and madly started to rifle through the pantry.
“I’ll see you on Monday to go over the results,” she told him, voice muffled.
“And I’ll let the guys know you’ll be joining us for poker night.”