by Soraya Lane
“I didn’t know you still sang,” Hope said as they emerged from the packed bar, the fresh air like a blast of reality as their feet hit the pavement.
“Neither did I.” Chase let go of her hand to pull her closer against him, wanting to keep her warm and protect her from the idiots yelling and staggering around them. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d sung, either.
“Did you mean it?” she asked, forcing him to stop walking when she did.
Chase turned, staring down at Hope. “What part?”
“The part when you said I was your first love.” Her gaze was filled with something he hadn’t seen before, like she was finally opening herself up to him.
“I only say what I mean,” Chase said, cupping her cheek and never taking his eyes off hers. “I do love you, Hope. I loved you then and I love you now, the only difference is that I’m not scared of telling you this time around.”
She didn’t say anything, but she did lean into him, her face pressed to his palm.
“I don’t think I needed so much to drink tonight,” she murmured, leaning forward and into him, her head bumping into his chest.
“So you’d rather go back to the motel than head to another bar?”
She groaned. “You betcha.”
Chase threw his arm around her and pressed her body back against his, his lips on her hair as they walked. “I do love you, Hope,” he said.
“I know you do,” she said back, her voice low.
What she didn’t know was that she was the only woman he’d said those words to. They were three little words that he’d always choked on with anyone else, even Stacey, but not Hope.
“I love you, too, Chase,” Hope whispered, her arm wrapped tight around him.
“Why do I feel a but coming?” he joked, wishing he hadn’t tried to be funny when he should have been screaming from the rooftops that she’d said it back to him.
“No buts, Chase,” Hope said, kissing him as they walked, her lips skimming the side of his mouth. “I just can’t believe we’re finally here. Like this.”
“Well, believe it, baby,” he said, slipping his hand into the pocket of her jeans. “And just in case you don’t, I’m gonna spend all night proving to you just how real this is. Okay?”
Hope’s laughter was muffled against his chest. “You’re a bad, bad influence on me, Chase King.”
He nipped her lower lip and made her squeal. “That’s what all the dads say when I date their daughters.”
Chase hadn’t thought he’d be able to, but tonight all he cared about was replicating their one night together, which he’d fantasized about for half a decade.
“I forgive you, Hope,” he muttered into her hair.
“You do?” Hope squeezed him harder.
“Yeah,” he said, realizing that forgiving her was the only way for them both to truly move forward. “I do.”
Chapter 18
“So are we going to tell him now?”
Hope had that feeling like she was being suffocated, like there wasn’t enough oxygen in the car for the both of them. Being away with Chase had been amazing, like existing in a perfect bubble, but the reality of telling Harrison was like a shot of cold ice to her veins. They’d partied and played, the latter over and over again, but arriving back in Dallas was a dose of reality, pure and simple. Life suddenly seemed complicated all over again. The bubble was bursting.
“Um, yes,” she managed. “I mean, if it seems like the right thing to do at the time.”
She saw Chase’s frown, his mouth fast hovering from a smile into a downward turn. “So you do want to tell him or you don’t?” he asked.
“I do, Chase, but I just want it to be right.” She sighed. “I know that I said I wanted to tell him, but after all this time it’s…” Hope couldn’t think of the right word.
“Scary,” Chase finished for her. “I get that. But you need to see it from my perspective, Hope.”
She fidgeted in her seat, wishing she wasn’t screwing up the end to what had been an amazing weekend. “I deserve to have you hate me, Chase. I know that, and I know how amazing you’ve been.”
“So what’s the problem?” he asked. “Because for the record, after the weekend we’ve just had? ‘Hate’ is the last word I’m thinking. I thought I’d made it well and truly clear to you that I forgive you.”
“Oh really?” Trust him to turn the situation around and make her smile.
“I mean, you could always make it up to me by doing something dirty while I drive the rest of the…”
“Chase!” She slammed a punch into his arm, pleased when he howled in pain.
“Hey, it was just a suggestion.”
“On a more serious note…,” she started.
“Oh man.” Chase groaned. “What the hell have I done now?”
“Nothing,” she reassured him, closing her hand over his thigh and resting it there, trying to remind herself that this wasn’t some sort of weird flashback, that she was actually in a car with Chase after a dirty weekend away. “I just wanted to say thank you. Being together again, just the two of us, it was nice.”
“Darlin’, it was way better than nice.” His hand slid over hers.
She knew Chase would never understand, that he couldn’t possibly get how she felt, but she needed to try to tell him. The last couple of days had been incredible, like there was nothing else in the world to worry about except what to drink and eat after glorious hours between the sheets, and after the year she’d had, it was nice to feel that way.
“We had a blast in college, didn’t we?” she mused.
“We sure did,” Chase replied. “But this weekend tops anything we did back then.”
She refused to blush, thinking of all the things Chase had done to her. Before she could think of anything else to say, they were turning into the driveway of King Ranch, trees waving them in, like a canopy of green on each side forming a line all the way to the first bend. From there they passed the first guesthouse, then the main homestead came into view. They’d called ahead and told Chloe when they’d be back, and Harrison burst from the house almost the minute they pulled up, like he’d been watching out the window for him.
Hope went to throw her door open straightaway, ready to leap out and race toward her son, but Chase’s hand stopped her. He grabbed her arm, looked deep into her eyes when she turned back to him, and placed a soft, warm kiss on her lips before leaning over and opening the door for her.
She hesitated, wanted to say something to him but didn’t know what, and then Harrison had reached the car and she was landing on her feet and wrapping her arms around him as he jumped up and locked his legs around her. Hope glanced over, saw that Chase was out of the truck, but saying hi to Harrison took over from everything else.
“Hey, baby boy.” She kissed his cheek as he hugged her tight. “Did you have fun?”
“Nate is so awesome,” Harrison said, his voice all squeaky and excited. “And Ryder. He’s way cool.”
“That’s because you haven’t spent enough time with me yet,” Chase grumbled, appearing from around the side of the truck. “’Cause if you had, you’d know that I’m way more fun than those two.”
Hope came over all hot again, her head spinning. She looked at Harrison, at his innocent, sweet little face, then focused her attention back on Chase. They were so similar now she had them side by side, but the thought of Chase telling Harrison the truth? It sent an ice-cold shudder down her back. She’d shielded her little man for so long, and …
“Can I show you what we’ve been doing? Please, Mommy, please!”
She nodded, braving a smile at both of them and nodding toward the house. “Let’s go. Show me what you’ve been up to. And let’s take Chase with us.”
Harrison ran on ahead, jumping up the porch steps and disappearing into the house. Hope followed, just at a slower pace, with Chase holding her hand as they walked in. What she wanted was to grab her things, put them in her car, and speed away, because sh
e was scared of change and what might happen, now that it was so real. Instead, she sucked it up and put on a brave face. She could do this.
* * *
Or not. Hope looked around the room, fear lacing every sense she had—her words froze in her mouth, her hands started to shake, and she could hardly figure where to look first.
“Hey, Hope,” a warm female voice called out from the kitchen. Hope stared around, snapping back to reality and turning to see Chloe. She was a familiar face and a kind one, not intimidating like the other three staring at her from the opposite side of the room.
“How was your weekend?” Ryder asked with a chuckle from where he lay sprawled on the floor.
Harrison suddenly appeared from beneath a large blanket that was draped over some chairs. “Mom, we made a tent! I even got to sleep in here with Nate last night! We had sleeping bags and chocolate and…”
“Whoa!” Nate exclaimed, jumping up from his spot on the sofa and grabbing Harrison, planting a hand over his mouth. “What happens in the tent stays in the tent, buddy. Remember?”
Harrison laughed and struggled as Nate first hung him upside down then put him back on his feet. Hope smiled, but inside she was dying. A very, very slow death. Because no matter how funny Nate might have been, it was the more serious, older gaze across the room that was worrying Hope.
“Hey, Granddad,” she heard Chase say, going over to give his grandfather a hug. “What are you doing here?”
“Nate got me out of there again,” the old man said, slapping Chase on the back with what appeared to be a lot more strength than Hope would have expected a man his age to possess. His steel-gray eyes sought out hers over Chase’s shoulder, his expression kind if not curious. “Besides, I had to meet the woman who had you all in a bother, didn’t I?”
Hope had never been so pleased to see someone when Chloe came to stand beside her, passing her a cup of coffee and bumping her shoulder gently against hers, as if she was trying to reassure her.
“Granddad, this is Hope. Hope, this is my granddad, Clay King.”
The old man nodded and straightened, pushing Chase’s hand aside as he considered her and moved forward. Hope sprang into action, crossing the room toward him and holding out a hand, the other clasping her coffee.
“I’m pleased to meet you, sir,” she said.
“Clay,” he corrected, firmly shaking her hand and meeting her gaze without missing a beat. “I remember hearing all about you a long while back. When that boy over there was dumb, young, and full of—”
“Granddad!” Chase interrupted. “Hope knows exactly what I was like back then so there’s no need to explain.”
Clay laughed. “Oh, I’m sure she does, son. I’m sure.”
Hope was a wreck; she didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, her body wound tighter than an old-fashioned clock.
“So tell us about the weekend,” Chloe asked, clearly trying to break the ice and take some of the pressure off. “You visit some of your old haunts?”
“It was fun,” Hope said, trying to relax when Chase casually slung an arm around her like it was the most natural thing for him to do in the world. “We, ah”—she cleared her throat—“would you believe we did Jell-O shots and Chase sang to an almost-full bar?”
“He what?” Nate roared with laughter.
“Yeah, I did,” Chase admitted, “but I had something to prove so I didn’t have much choice.”
Hope stared at the three men, wondered what they really thought of her, if they were just being nice to be polite, because they knew she meant something to Chase. Did they resent her? Did they despise her for what she’d done?
She glanced at Chloe, saw the concern on the other woman’s face. And then she looked at her son. He was busy playing with a rope, working on a knot, and it broke her heart to think that he could have had this kind of upbringing from the very start, that she should have found a way to divide her time between here and home. But it also killed her to think that he might get used to being surrounded by the King men and then have it all taken away if Chase didn’t want to commit to something long-term. He’d said he loved her, but they hadn’t exactly talked about the future.
“Hope, why don’t we take Harrison for a walk? Maybe head out to see the cattle you worked on?” Chase said.
The room was silent until Chloe spoke up and started talking about something trivial, the other men suddenly engaged in banter about the weather as Hope stood and stared at Harrison.
“Hope?” Chase’s voice was deep, full of concern.
“Mom, let’s do it!” Harrison enthused.
Hope opened her mouth to speak and ended up just shaking her head. “I’m sorry, but we have to go.”
Chase reached for her hand, his eyes searching her face. “But Hope, aren’t we going to…”
She pulled her hand from his, reaching down for Harrison’s instead. “Sweetheart, show me what room your things are in. It’s a pre-K day tomorrow and we need to get back home.”
“But…”
She kept her eyes trained on her boy, giving in to the terror consuming her, the worry over what she had almost done, what she’d planned to tell him.
“No buts, Harrison. Let’s go.”
* * *
Chase steeled his jaw, staring at Hope’s retreating figure. He balled his fists, then released them, trying damn hard to diffuse his anger.
“Hope,” he said, keeping his voice as level as he could, not wanting to alarm Harrison. “How about we go for that walk first? It won’t take long.”
She edged away from him when he reached for her, eyes wide like he’d just asked her to commit a crime. “Not now, Chase. I just can’t do it right now.”
Hope was talking about a lot more than a cancelled walk. Telling Harrison terrified her. “Hope.” He repeated her name, taking a step closer to her as she walked backward again, keeping her distance. “Don’t do this.”
“I’ll call you, Chase. Thanks for an amazing weekend.”
“Hope…”
She raised one hand in a wave before pushing Harrison toward the front door when Chase reappeared, not letting him near.
“See ya, Chase,” Harrison called.
Chase forced himself to reply, to not let the kid see how pissed he was. “Yeah, I’ll see you again real soon, okay? We can hang out and have way more fun than you’ve ever had before.”
Hope gave Chase one last fleeting, apologetic look, then the door was shut behind her and she was gone. Chase waited, focused on each breath, on sucking back enough air to fill his lungs until he heard Hope’s vehicle start up and pull away from the house. What the hell was going on? How in God’s name had they ended up with things going back to this?
“Fuck!” he yelled, marching back toward the kitchen, fists balled at his sides, a wave of fury building like a tidal wave within him. “Fuck,” he swore again, this time slamming his fist straight into the wall, pain arrowing through his knuckles and straight up his arm.
Chase stood, shoulders heaving as he extracted his hand. Damn. He was pissed, but he hadn’t exactly meant to trash the place. He walked into the kitchen, shoulders hunched as he took out a glass and crossed the room to get the bottle of whiskey he wanted.
It wasn’t until he’d drained the glass that he realized the room was silent, that all eyes were on him.
“You gonna fix that wall in the morning, son?”
His granddad’s deep, steady voice calmed him. There was nothing they’d ever done that had managed to faze the old man, and he doubted anything ever would.
Chase nodded, tipping the bottle to give himself another generous pour, and hastily raised the glass to his lips. “I will.” He should never have done it in the first place. Damn idiot.
“How about pouring another few glasses and telling us what your Hope did to get you all in a pickle? Why the hell was she in such a hurry to leave?”
This time Chase had to laugh, his brothers joining in. Nate winked as he passed him, getting three
more glasses and setting them on the table. Chase poured, pleased to have something other than his sore-as-a-motherfucker knuckles to think about.
“We were supposed to tell Harrison. About me being his dad,” Chase ground out after downing the rest of his second drink.
“And?” Nate asked.
Chase looked up and saw that Chloe was watching him, her brown eyes kind as she listened.
“She just got the hell out of dodge, in case you hadn’t noticed.”
“It was kind of hard to miss the sound of your closed fist connecting with the wall,” Nate said dryly.
“Fuck you,” he snapped.
“Did it ever cross your mind that she’s just trying to protect your son?” Chloe asked in a quiet voice, her hand resting protectively over her stomach.
“I’m not exactly a threat to the boy,” Chase replied.
Every man stayed silent as Chloe spoke, her soft voice low yet commanding. “You’ve probably told her how you feel about her, Chase, but have you told her how you feel about Harrison? Told her what you actually want?”
“I’m not following.” He put down his glass, feeling like a dumbfuck for not even getting what Chloe was trying to tell him.
“Chase, she needs to know that you want her son as much as you want her. She’s protected him all this time, so she’s hardly going to let him get hurt by getting close to you, unless she’s absolutely sure, is she? She’s a two-for-one deal, Chase. And she’s not exactly giving me the vibe that she wants to play things casual with you.”
Chase stared at Chloe. How could he have been so stupid that his sister-in-law had had to spell it out for him?
“You’re right,” he said, slowly pouring himself one more shot of his favorite liquor and drinking it, savoring the slow burn as it traveled down his throat. Chase discarded his glass and made his way over to Chloe, slinging an arm around her and pressing a smacker of a kiss to her cheek. “She wants me to prove myself? Then fuck it. I’m up for the challenge, just you watch me.”
He backed away from Chloe when Ryder as good as bared his teeth at him, warning him off his woman. Chase just laughed, dropping into the sofa opposite Nate and kicking his boots off so he could stretch out with his feet up.