by Vera Roberts
As I hold the heavy leather-bound menu at Sentiment, I look over the dish selection and it feels like it’s a completely different world, despite it’s just directly across the street from USC. I wonder what the intention was with that.
“Have you decided what you want to order?” My girlfriend, Dominique Ferguson, asks me. She’s tall and thick, somewhere between a Rihanna and Beyoncé body type, and has her own dance studio on Wilshire. She just happens to be married into one of the world’s richest families.
“Oxtails, huh?” I stare down at the selection. Apparently, British men like oxtails? “Since when did this happen?”
“Since I introduced it to him when we were dating and well, that’s all she wrote.” Dominique cackles. The server comes by, takes our order, and quickly leaves. “How are you doing, Keisha?”
“I…” I shrug. The last several months have been a blur. I’m in the process of growing out my hair and I’m sporting a teeny-weeny Afro. I’m still staying with my daddy and Ashley has officially moved back in, along with my brothers. I have my own room and plenty of privacy in the palatial estate but I feel so empty.
I’m graduating in a few days and I’ll be off to USC just right across the street come this fall. Maybe being involved with college will distract me from anything Savior. “I guess I’m doing okay.”
“Has he tried contacting you?” Dominique asks and I shake my head. “Not even a single attempt?”
“I changed my number and closed my email. He hasn’t swung by the house.” It was like I never existed at all. I don’t know if I’m more devastated at the fact he didn’t even try to contact me or the fact he listened to me when I told him to leave me alone for good.
I wonder how I would’ve reacted if Savior at least attempted. Would I be happy? Would I be angry? How would I have reacted?
“I’m probably the last person you need to hear this from but I did some snooping around and Ian helped me,” Dominique begins, “well, I bribed him into helping me. It’s funny how quickly a man will change his mind when you suck his dick a few times.” She smiles. She pulls out a manila folder and slides it over to me. “Here’s something you need to look at.”
I glance down at the manila folder and back up at Dominique. “What’s this?”
“Savior’s truth.” She takes a sip of ice water.
My eyebrows rise and I open the folder. My heart is stunned when I read the contents of the envelope. There’s a high-definition picture of Thomas meeting with the city’s mayor about developing land in Inglewood, creating luxury condos and apartments. Most of the people Thomas is pictured with are Asian foreign investors.
The next page reveals Savior had his own project, creating low-income and affordable housing in the same block. Savior met with members of the city council, community leaders, and real estate developers. Savior was going against his father.
My memory jogs me to the fateful day when I witnessed Savior and Thomas fighting. I wonder if they were fighting over the development. I also wonder if Savior leaving his father’s firm played another part in the discord.
There’s still an unexplained question – how could someone who was such a champion for civil rights be so against everything he ever stood for?
The question is answered for me as I flip through more pages – money. Thomas saw the financial crisis of the people he was helping and profited off it. He’s an investor of several payday loans and on the board of directors of an international bank that caters to low-income folks.
The night of the gala becomes increasingly clear. All three sons seem almost disgusted with their father and rebelled in many ways that night. They were only there for show. My heart is broken upon receiving concrete evidence. I pushed Savior away and lost the best relationship of my life. There’s no way this can be made right.
After Dominique and I had lunch, I walk back to the Beemer and see a Mercedes pull up next to mine. Two men get out but I’m not paying any attention to them. I just need to go home and cry.
“Keisha?” Marc turns towards me and greets me with a hug. “Sista gal, where have you been? You were there and then you poof! Disappeared!”
I hug Marc back and give Paul a hug as well. “I’m doing well. Just busy. Trying to graduate, you know?”
“I hear that, I hear that.” Marc turns to Paul. “Yo, I need to holler at Keisha for a minute. Get us a nice table.”
“Not a problem.” Paul salutes me and I return the favor. “It’s great seeing you, Keisha. If you need a recommendation, holler at me!” He heads inside.
Marc waits for Paul to be out of earshot before he speaks to me. “So, what did you do to my boy?”
I shake my head. I’m sure Marc knows everything that went on between me and Savior. I’m tempted to ask him how he’s doing but I keep mute. “Things just didn’t work out.”
“They need to.” Marc states. “He’s a mess, you know? He’s all over the place. Professionally, he’s never been better. He’s finally had enough of his dad’s shit and is starting his own firm. Me and a few others are leaving to join him at the end of the month.”
“Good for you, Marc.” I’m happy to hear that. I think Savior and Marc will have a very successful firm. “I know it’ll be fantastic.”
“Fighting the good fight is never easy but it’s always worth it.” Marc grins. “Listen, Savior has a good heart and he’s not like his father. Maybe his approach was wrong, and maybe he needed to fine-tune his feelings a bit more. But lying and deceiving is not his M.O. He wouldn’t buy you a car if that was his end game.” Marc lets out a small sigh. I don’t know if he was speaking for Savior or if he just wanted to give his two cents in what was going on. I appreciate the message either way. “Listen, it’s not my business to say anything but I do know my boy was sprung over you and still is. If you two can find a way to make it, do it.”
It’s words I needed to hear but the timing might be off. “It’s too late.”
Marc begins walking towards the restaurant. He turns around and smiles again. “It’s never too late to do the right thing.”
Twenty-Three
“Keisha Kei-shaaaaa,” my roommate, Symia, greets me as she enters our dorm room. A full-figured girl with dark chocolates skin and shoulder-length red hair, Symia always looks like a fashion plate. Seriously, her wardrobe is far better than mine and she’s even taken me on as a pet project.
A business major, Symia hopes to open her own salon one day. She does hair to support herself on the side. She’s the reason why my hair is grown out into curly ringlets. “Are you going to the party tonight?”
Since I’ve been at USC, there’s been a party every night. While I indulged for the first couple of weeks, it became old very quickly. How many times can one play beer pong in one week?
“I don’t know. I’m thinking I’m going to skip it and stay in.” Yeah, staying in on a Friday night is really unheard-of in college but I see no point of going out right now. Besides, I have a paper that could use my attention.
“There are going to be some hot men at the party tonight.” Symia pauses for a beat. “You, Daryl is checking for you.”
Daryl Barker, USC’s prime quarterback who is responsible for leading the team to one of its best starts in school history. He’s also Daryl Barker, the dog who has a new chick every week, with a ton more waiting in the harem. I think I’ll pass on the chlamydia. “I’m sure he is.”
“Well, let me know if you decide to go,” Symia collapses on her bed. “I can’t wait. You know, big girls are the new hot sauce now.”
Symia may be a big girl but her phone never stops ringing. A part of it is she’s just a naturally attractive woman, but another part is she can line a man’s fade just right. It seems everyone goes to her to get their hair did (yes, I said it right), and she’s been collecting numbers and using up condoms at the same time. She’s the real P.I.M.P. if you ask me.
“Well, we’ll see how I’ll feel later.” I yawn and I have to drag myself to lecture.
I honestly want to skip it but I know this will be info I can use later for the paper I’m working on. “I’ll see you later, Mia.”
~~~~~
Life has been so crazy these past few months. Once I graduated out of LACC, I officially moved out of my home and let Tasha and Junie rent there. I told Tasha I may have been cool to not her pay rent as her roommate but as her landlord, I’m getting a monthly check from her.
Tasha tried to bargain with me and I told her if there are any problems, she can always move out. Once she checked the surrounding area and saw how expensive Inglewood was becoming, her tune quickly changed. Needless to say, she started paying.
Tasha, is well, Tasha. She’s stuck between wanting to grow up and wanting to stay the way things are. I told her she doesn’t have much time to be straddling the fence before it makes the decision for her. I don’t know if she’s going to listen. Some people have to want to be great, to do great.
Junie has blown up and is now a highly sought-after producer. He recently worked with one of the hottest rappers in the game, Dolce Gabbana. His album should be dropping soon and everyone is already predicting it’s going to do big numbers. If that happens, Junie’s stock just skyrocketed.
He’s still with Tasha, but things are kinda weird between them. He’s not cheating on her or messing around, but I’m not sure how much longer he’ll be in the picture if he’s trying to spread his wings and she’s content doing nothing.
My auntie is still in the other duplex and true to form, we’re still not talking. Oh well. I’ve tried. I can’t make her do anything she doesn’t want to do. Older people love to lecture younger folks without realizing that they too, were once young and stupid. They also don’t like to realize they can also be a bit of an asshole themselves. Maybe one day we’ll be cool but as of right now, she needs to stay where she is.
Of course, I still have my Granny’s home, but the neighborhood has changed a lot now. There’s a lot more development but there’s also less black folks in Inglewood. There are a lot more white faces. I’m feeling iffy about the whole thing. I miss how cozy and welcoming my neighborhood was.
Everyone knew each other, their kids, their kids’ kids. Seeing old men playing bones and chess at Leimert Park was not a thang. Going to the Saturday flea market was a thing to do and I always got the flyest gear for hella low prices.
However, with everything good, there’s always the bad and Inglewood had a lot of that. I don’t miss the gang activity, drug addiction, and senseless violence. Lil’ C was lucky, but he’s one of the few. Kids are often caught in the crossfire of dumb-ass adults. I guess you can say gentrification solves a lot of that.
Jalen was arrested for a host of charges, including attempted murder of Lil’ C. Last time I heard, he was still in jail. He still has a harem of girls. Occasionally I get whispers from other people telling me he’s been asking about me, but really, I don’t care.
Daddy and Ashley are finally back together and Daddy recently proposed to Ashley with a huge diamond ring. Their wedding is set for next year. My daddy is no longer slanging stating he now has enough money for all of us and our kids to retire on. Truthfully, he’s always had plenty of money but I guess there was a dollar amount my daddy wanted and he finally got it.
Daddy decided real estate was his calling, and he’s already invested millions into the Inland Empire and the Lancaster and Palmdale areas, building it up for the black migration there. I guess all that drug dealing to the white folks paid off in some ways. Daddy’s the real Robin Hood.
Andrea has been showcasing her baby bump for all of the world to see. King J is also still in jail but he’ll be home in a couple of years. Andrea and I still don’t have a relationship and well, not sure if we’ll ever have one.
As far as me and Savior goes, no phone calls, no texts, nothing. The loss of him was more devastating than I thought it would be. The silence was beyond heartbreaking. The pain started in my heart and coursed through my body like a maze, grounding me to the cement. It was like we never knew each other at all.
When it came for my tuition bill, however, Savior did show up even if he wasn’t physically present – my entire USC tuition for all four years is covered and that includes books.
I stayed at my daddy’s home so I could recover, and Ashley took off a few days from work to help me. We went to a spa treatment and I tended to my Netflix addiction. I watched more black movies than anyone could handle during that time. I ended up getting a new phone number and just completely erased myself from anything Savior. I still kept the pictures of us for reasons I’m not entirely sure about.
The Google alerts I still had on Savior told me he left his father’s law firm and started his own. The same alerts didn’t tell me about a girlfriend or wife. I know I shouldn’t care and I know he doesn’t. Hell, he probably made the same offer to another stupid college student right now and I’m just playing myself.
Surprisingly enough, I’m still cool with one Ellison brother – Soul. He emails me all of the time and gives me first dibs on the latest FBLs before they hit the stores. He even said he didn’t mind that I resold them on Ebay in case I needed the money. He’s super cool like that.
I finally make my way over to the lecture hall and sit in the standard back row so I don’t bother anyone. It’s for my political science class and as much as I love my major, it can be boring AF at times. Hopefully, the lecture will be short and sweet and I can go back to the dorm and sleep.
“Good Morning, class.” The professor, Avery Johnson, enters the classroom. She’s an older black woman who gives Annalise Keating vibes. She often changes her wig and her makeup depending on what young stud she’s blowing that week. I don’t know if she’s ever killed someone but I really wouldn’t put it past her.
She hands a stack of papers to a student and we all get one. “We have a special guest today for the lecture. Please take as many notes as you can as some of this might be on the midterm but all of you can use for your life.”
A student gives me the stack of papers and my heart froze seeing the guest speaker’s name:
Savior.
I’m lowkey hoping there are a few Savior Ellisons in the world and I happen to see the one that isn’t my ex. That would make me so happy and heartbroken at same time and OMG, I think I’m annoyed by how my heart and brain are acting right now.
As if my body was turned on with a dial, I became acutely aware when Savior entered the lecture hall. He walked with confident strides, owning the room with each step, and I heard the collective gasps of many women in the audience. I finally looked up and saw Savior in his delicious Bel-Air finest, looking delicious.
He wore a red sweater vest with a long white shirt and brown khakis. The red bow tie signaled he was clearly on-campus for a Kappa event and dressed the part. The emotions within me are going haywire but my body is zinged with instant attraction to that man.
The familiar thump in my panties reappears and my breathing becomes zig-zag-like, almost choking me. I wring the back of my neck to relief the sudden tension and blow out a harsh breath. My lecture is usually an hour long and I doubt Savior will be talking for the full hour. I just hope I can get through it without completely losing myself.
“Thank you, everyone,” Savior writes his name on the whiteboard before he turns to the class. His eyes scan around the room and he smiles at the faces before him. “We have a big group of students here so I’ll make this short and sweet so you can get back to your avocado toasts and IG feeds.” There are laughter and chuckles.
Savior’s eyes connect with mine. The professional Savior briefly disappears as the sultry look I was too all-too familiar with reappeared. We hold eyes briefly before he goes to retrieve handouts to give to the class.
In typical Savior fashion, he retrieves the notes and passes them out individually to each student. There’s about fifty of us so it’s extra work he’s doing. He’s being intentional with this because I know he wants to see me up close and personal and
wonder if it’s really me.
My hair is different and my face is a bit fuller than before. I have a few tattoos now in intricate parts of my body that can only be seen if I’m naked. I’m almost tempted to ask Savior if he wants to see my tats.
As he approaches my row, the nervousness cinches my stomach and the butterflies go a mile a minute. I smell his intoxicating cologne. I see how perfectly coiffed his bedhead is. I can’t tear my gaze away from him, no matter how much I want to. Savior is just simply breathtaking.
He walks in front of my table and passes the papers to everyone sitting there. He stands directly in front of me and small crackles of sexual electricity buzzes between us. He holds my gaze and curves his lips into that delightful, sexy smile that I love so much.
His brown eyes are full of wicked contemplativeness, as if he’s trying to figure out the right way to knock the wind out of me. Little does Savior know, he’s already succeeded in that.
“Gorgeous…” He mouths as he gives me the notes and moves onto another student.
My heart is pounding so loud, I can’t hear myself think. A quiver stirred within me and my body tensed with every emotion possible. I hear girls behind me squealing amongst themselves as one girl thought Savior was referring to her.
I let them have their fantasy. It’s the very least I can do.
Opening the pages and my eyes bulge out of the sockets upon reading the first line:
I’ve should’ve been honest with you from the start.
I flip the page and read the second line. You have every right to be angry and refuse to speak to me for the rest of your life.
Looking over at the third page, my eyes start to water. But when I said I love you, there were no games with that. When I said I’m going to marry you, I still believe that.
By the time the fourth page came, the tears were streaming down my face. All I want is a second chance to do right. I love you, Keisha, and I want to make this work.
Looking up at Savior, I notice his eyes are again locked on mine. He blows out a deep breath and releases his shoulders. He felt the same emotions I did and I can only imagine what was going through his head as he watched me read his letter. “Shall we begin?”