by Nina Levine
Scott was a perceptive guy, often sensing when shit wasn’t right with people. I’d always managed to stay off his radar; probably because my shit was packed so deep in my soul that even I didn’t feel it. But the last decade was catching up with me, and I could feel myself slowly falling apart. And for the first time in those ten years, I didn’t know what to do.
I exhaled in frustration and anxiety, my heart hammering in my chest as I contemplated letting the monsters out. I’d locked them away for so long that just thinking about them distressed me. Talking about them scared the fuck out of me. “Do you have things in your past that no-one really knows about? Things that you don’t even want to know about?”
“Brother, I’ve got things in my life now that I don’t want to know about, let alone shit that happened years ago.”
“Yeah,” I murmured, lost in my thoughts.
“You need to talk about it?”
The concern in his voice was clear; I knew I could trust Scott but I didn’t trust myself with this stuff yet. I shook my head. “No, I’m good. Just been thinking about shit lately.”
We sat in silence for awhile. It was exactly what I needed and the anxiety I’d been feeling started to ease out of me. Once I had myself under control, I eyed him and asked, “You ever had a problem with your dick not working?”
Surprise flickered on his face and he smirked. “Never thought I’d hear that shit come out of your mouth.”
“Yeah, yeah. But fuck man, have you?”
“Can’t say I have, Nash.”
“Shit.”
“Yours giving you grief?” The bastard was laughing at me.
“Not my dick so much but my desire to use it. First time it’s ever happened so you could say I’m a little concerned.”
“Maybe Velvet was on to something when she said she was worried your dick would need resuscitating soon.”
“What the fuck?”
“She told me that she’d said something to you about screwing every chick in sight.”
“Fuck, why can’t women keep stuff to themselves?”
He shrugged. “Beats the shit outta me too, brother.”
I stood up to leave. I’d gotten what I’d come here for.
Scott followed me out. “Shit, I forgot to tell you that Harlow’s cooking lunch for everyone tomorrow. She wants you here.”
“What time?” Nobody passed up a meal cooked by Harlow.
“Around twelve.”
I slapped him on the back. “Thanks, man. I’ll be there.”
I avoided the thought that Velvet would also be at lunch. And how fucking happy that made me.
***
Velvet
I stood back and watched quietly as everyone greeted Nash. He’d arrived nearly an hour late for lunch and Harlow was giving him grief. I was dealing with the thought that I’d been disappointed he was late. It shouldn’t have affected me that much, but it did.
He finished hugging Harlow and caught my eye as he pulled out of the embrace. A slight smile touched his lips before he shifted his attention to Madison. He reached out and dragged her into a tight hug, whispering something in her ear that made her laugh. A pang of jealousy hit me, and I quickly turned away and headed into the kitchen to escape the unwelcome feelings I was having.
Scott was in there and his watchful gaze made me uncomfortable. “Why are you looking at me like that?” I finally asked.
He settled back against the counter before answering me. “Had a visit from your ex husband yesterday.”
My concern about James spiked as dread filled me. “What did he want?”
“He wants me to fire you, and in return he offered me a lot of money.”
“You’re fucking kidding?” I exploded. Dread gave way to anger; how dare he fuck with my life like that?
Scott shook his head. “Nope, not kidding. You sure picked an asshole there.”
“You have no idea.”
“What’s his story? He didn’t tell me why he wanted me to fire you, just made me the offer.”
I sighed. James was supposed to be out of my life for good but here he was, right back in it. “His family has a long history in politics and although he swore he’d never go into it, he seems to have changed his mind. He showed up out of the blue the other day and offered me money too. He doesn’t want me to talk to the media about him.”
“Got some nasty shit in his closet, has he?”
“You could say that.”
“You accepting his offer?”
“No.”
He nodded and pushed off from the bench. “Good. Me either.”
I’d known he wouldn’t accept the offer. I didn’t even have to ask him. Scott Cole was a good man, even if most people took him for an asshole. He looked out for those he loved, and I knew that he loved me like family. He’d shown me that too many times for me not to know by now.
Harlow breezed into the kitchen, and Scott grinned at her. “Can we eat now?” He asked as he reached out and smacked her on the ass. She shooed him away with a slap to his arm. This only encouraged him more, and he wound his arm around her waist so he could pull her into him and plant a kiss on her neck.
“I’ll leave you two to it,” I said, more to myself than them because they were too engrossed in each other to hear me. I headed out to the back deck, and closed my eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath of the cool air. We were having a cooler autumn than usual and I was enjoying it. I despised the muggy heat of a Queensland summer, and we’d had a hot one this year, so this was a welcome change.
I pulled up a seat and relaxed into it. Exhaustion was claiming me after a busy couple of months finishing off my beauty course and working full time throughout it. I hadn’t wanted to get out of bed this morning, but I knew that Harlow would be disappointed if I didn’t make it, so I’d forced myself to come. I closed my eyes and let sleep claim me.
That was, until a husky voice startled me awake. “Lunch is ready.”
Nash.
My eyes flew open and desire pulsed through me at the sound of his voice. I jumped up and landed on unsteady feet. His strong hands caught me and his eyes searched mine; looking for what, I wasn’t sure.
“Hi,” I breathed out.
He blinked and for the first time ever, I saw Nash unsure of himself. His face was a blank mask and his breathing was uneven. “Hi,” he stuttered, and released me from his grip once it was clear I was okay.
I took a deep breath. This was so awkward, and I had the sudden urge to get out of here and run far, far away. Instead, I rallied my bravado and said, “I’m starving. What’s Harlow cooked?”
“Umm, not sure. She just told me to get my ass out here and bring you in,” he replied, his usual composure returning.
I faked a smile. “Okay, well let’s not keep her waiting.”
I didn’t wait for his reply; rather I started walking inside. His footsteps behind me indicated he was following me, but he didn’t utter another word either.
Harlow smiled at us as we entered the house; it was a strange smile though, the one I usually associated with her when she was dreaming up one of her schemes. “Glad you could join us,” J drawled, as he settled into the seat next to Madison and draped his arm over the back of her chair.
“Fuck off,” I muttered, and he grinned. I shook my head and returned his grin.
There were two seats left at the table; two seats next to each other. I sat but Nash mumbled something about getting a drink. I tracked his movement to the fridge and he caught me staring at him when he turned and asked me if I wanted a drink. My face flamed red; I knew it did because it always happened whenever I was embarrassed to be caught out at something. His eyes narrowed as he took it in, but he didn’t acknowledge it; he simply held up a can of coke and a can of lemonade with a questioning look. I pointed at the coke and mouthed a thank you before turning to Madison and asking her an inane question. “Have you gotten any new tattoos lately?”
She looked surprised, but answered me, �
��No, not since J and I had our tattoos done after the wedding.”
I mentally slapped myself. What a stupid conversation to start. And so out of character for me to be babbling on about shit.
Nash slid into the chair beside me, and handed me my drink. I ignored the fluttery sensation his fingers grazing against mine gave me.
“Velvet, how much longer have you got left on your beauty course?” Madison asked as she passed me the salad.
I started loading salad onto my plate. “Just over a month left to go.”
“And then what will you do? Will you leave Indigo or do both?”
Scott cut in. “I’m trying to get her to keep working one night a week.” He laid a huge smile on me before continuing, “Going to have to make you an offer you can’t refuse, I reckon.”
I smiled. We’d had numerous conversations about this and he knew I didn’t want to do stripping once I found a new job, but he kept pushing me anyway. “I told you, Scott, I’m getting too old for stripping. Your clients don’t want to see an old woman getting her bits out.”
Nash almost choked on his drink and gave me a bewildered look. “You’re what? Thirty-two? That’s hardly old,” he muttered, “And fuck, Velvet, have you taken a look in the mirror lately?”
Warmth spread through me at his words even if I didn’t agree with them. “Ah yes, I have, and let’s just say that I haven't got the goods that I once did.”
Nash’s eyes dropped to my chest and, holy hell, that did things to me. It was no secret that I liked the attention of men, hell you wouldn’t strip if you didn’t, but having Nash’s eyes on me, turned me on more than I had been in a long time.
He raised them back to my face and murmured, “Sweet thing, I’ve seen a lot of goods in my time, and let’s just say that what you’ve got are spectacular.”
Desire pooled between my legs. Nash flirting with me was not new, but this conversation had a different tone to it; things had definitely shifted between us and I sensed new meaning behind his words. And I realised that I couldn’t deny it any longer; I wanted to have sex with him, wanted his hands on my body and his lips whispering dirty talk in my ears.
He’d rendered me speechless, but Harlow kept the conversation going for me. “I agree with Nash, you’re hot. I’ve got a girl crush on you and your goods.” She winked at me and I could have kissed her for her kind words. I truly believed that women needed to stick together rather than trying to tear each other down, and a compliment like that from a woman sometimes meant more to me than if it had come from a man.
“Thank you.” I blew her a kiss.
J waded into the conversation, “If anyone’s fit to be the judge of goods, it’s gotta be Nash, babe. I’d be listening to him if I were you.”
I looked around the table at Scott, Harlow, J, Madison and Nash; they really were the family I’d chosen and this lunch just proved it to me more. Smiling, I said, “I’ll take that as a compliment, J.”
Madison laughed. “You should. It’s definitely a J compliment; trust me, I should know. I can be having a down day and the way he tries to make it all better for me is by telling me how hot my tits are or how much he wants my legs around him.”
J grumbled, “Well it’s true, you do have great tits and legs, and I figure you need to hear that shit when you’re down.”
Madison leant her face close to his and said, “Thanks, baby, but what will you tell me when I get old and grey and my boobs are sagging?”
He grinned. “You’ll still have lips, right?”
Madison smacked him on the arm. “You’re a dirty man, Jason Reilly.”
“Fuck yeah, babe. It’s what you love about me the most.”
Nash shifted in his chair and muttered under his breath so that only I heard him, “Fuck, do we really have to listen to this shit?”
I turned to look at him and for the first time, noticed the tiredness that marred his face. “You okay?” I asked, softly, “You look tired.”
His response was unhurried. “Yeah, just got some stuff on my mind at the moment.”
“You want to talk about it?”
He smiled tightly. “Thanks, but I don’t really even want to think about it let alone talk about it.”
“Sure, I get it. If you change your mind, you know where to find me.”
“Yeah. I do.”
I contemplated what I wanted to say, not sure how he would take it, but then decided to hell with it; we’d come this far now that it was just too bad if he didn’t like me saying it. “I worry about you, Nash. I wish you would talk to me about stuff when it’s upsetting or worrying you.” I rested my hand lightly on his arm as I said it. His reaction was swift; his arm jerked and surprise flickered across his face.
He pulled his arm away and stood abruptly. Looking down at me, he asserted, “You don’t have to worry about me. This stuff will go away soon and I’ll be fine.” Shifting his gaze to Harlow, he apologised, “Sorry, Harlow, but I’ve gotta go.”
She gave him a disappointed look. “Really?”
“Yeah, got shit to do.” He didn’t elaborate. And then he was gone. And I was left stunned yet again by his behaviour. Nash wasn’t being his usual fun self lately, and now I was really concerned for him.
Chapter 8
Scream ~ Usher
Velvet
The sound of my ringing phone pulled me out of the deep sleep I was in. Squinting my eyes, I checked the caller ID. Shit, it was James. How the hell had he gotten my phone number? I dropped it back down on the bed; I wasn’t answering his call. Instead, I rolled off the bed and traipsed into the kitchen to get a drink. The time on the clock caught my eye; five o’clock in the afternoon. It was Sunday and I’d spent most of the day in bed, drifting in and out of sleep. The rain was falling on the roof and I couldn’t believe my luck that I’d been blessed with rain on my day off. Rainy Sundays in bed were a favourite of mine.
I downed the glass of water I’d just poured and cursed when my phone started ringing again. Ignoring it, I gave my attention to Bella, my kitty. She was rubbing herself up against my legs, demanding I feed her. Hell, this cat was always asking for food; she really should have been fatter than she was with all the food I gave her. I couldn’t help but give in to her demands every time.
The phone stopped ringing as I poured some food into her bowl. She looked at me with her ‘you’ve gotta be kidding me’ look.
“That’s all you get,” I said to her and with one last cranky look at me, she began eating.
Deciding I must smell bad, I headed into the bathroom for a shower. Just as I leant in to turn the taps on, my phone rang again. What the hell? Now he’d pissed me off. I stalked into the bedroom and retrieved my phone. “What the fuck do you want?” I snapped at him.
“Lovely to speak to you too, Velvet. Do we really need the language every time we talk?” he chided.
“Yes, we fucking do,” I swore for his benefit.
He sighed. “Your lawyer has my proposal. Has he contacted you?”
He had, but James didn’t need to know that. I figured it was my turn to muck him around after all the shit he’d ever put me through. “No.”
“Can I suggest you get in touch with him?”
“It’s Sunday, James. Surely you don’t mean for me to call him today.”
“Velvet, I think you are underestimating the seriousness of this situation.”
“No, James, I think you’re underestimating the lack of fucks I give about this situation.” This man seriously made my blood boil. I had no clue how I ever thought I’d loved him.
Silence was followed by the nasty snarl I knew so well from years ago. “You’re still the gutter trash you were when I met you and saved you. Getting rid of you was the best move I ever made and it’s no wonder that you don’t have a man in your life, because I can’t imagine anyone choosing you over the other women out there.”
The rational part of me knew his words were worthless and not to be given any attention to, but there was a par
t of me that was powerless when it came to James. He used his words like weapons and they annihilated me every time. They shredded their way through the self belief I’d spent years building and circled their way through my body in a painful spiral of doubt, loathing and fear.
I froze, unable to form words to shoot back at him, and he took my silence and fired more poison at me. “Your life is shit, Velvet. It’s been shit ever since I kicked you out. The offer I’ve made you is the best option you have to make it better. I suggest you get back to me soon to tell me you’ll take it, because it won’t always be on the table.”
He hung up and I slowly removed the phone from my ear. His words hung heavy in my mind as I tried desperately to sort through them. I needed to shove them out of the way so I could think straight; so that I could acknowledge them for the lie they were.
“Shit!” I yelled at the empty room. Why the hell did I let him get to me? Every fucking time!
My heart started beating faster and I broke out in a light sweat. Bella’s wary eyes were focused on me and she looked like she was ready to run. I scooped her up and patted her. “Sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to yell but that asshole just fucks me off,” I whispered. Her eyes blinked and she began to purr. Once I was convinced she was settled, I placed her back on the ground and headed back into the shower. I was going out and I was going to have a lot to drink. James was going to be banished from my mind tonight if it was the last thing I did.
***
Nash
I entered the club, scanning to find what I was looking for. Tonight I was making my cock my bitch.
I found what I was looking for in the corner of the club; blonde, stacked and sending me the signal that she was up for it. She also looked like she might have a friend who would play with us; the more the fucking merrier I thought. It’d been a long week of no sex mixed with confusion about Velvet, and I needed to fuck like I needed air. My dick grew hard just thinking about it, and I picked up the pace as I made my way across the club. I was a starved man and I was going to fucking bang these chicks into tomorrow.