She was still off, somehow, still holding something back. "Joss, can I ask you something?"
She nodded. "Sure. Of course."
"What else aren't you saying?"
She frowned at me, eyes darting to mine and then away again. "What do you mean?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. I just feel like there's something else bothering you, but you're not saying it."
"It's not something bothering me, like I'm upset, it's just..." She traced a vein in my bicep with a fingertip, one shoulder rolling in a half-shrug. "It's more something I don't really know how to...how to say, or how to express."
"Just try, then. Do your best."
"I can't."
"Why not? Start there, then. Why is it hard for you to express whatever it is?"
She sat on the edge of the bed, and I sat beside her. "Um. Well...it's partly just how I am, how I've always been, and partly a habit forced on me from being on my own for so long." A pause, as Joss gathered her thoughts. "I was always independent. I got my own breakfast as a little girl as soon as I was capable of doing it. Everything, I just learned to do myself. I never asked my parents for anything if I could help it. And then being on my own, I refused to beg. I refused to become a panhandler. I had three things I wouldn't do, even if I was starving--I would never become a stripper, and I would never sell myself, and I would never beg. I would do literally anything else for change or cash. Wash dishes, shovel shit, clean bathrooms, anything. I never asked for handouts. I never accepted charity."
"I get that. You had to know you were surviving on your own merit."
She nodded. "Yeah. I'm not a beggar. That's why, last night, your whole thing about making me beg was a big deal. I totally knew you didn't mean it like that, but that kind of thing is hard for me. I don't beg." She glanced at me, and I realized we were getting to the real root of the issue. "But when it comes down to it, I'm just...it's almost impossible for me to ask for anything. It's hard for me to admit I want something, hard for me to accept something even if someone is willingly offering it."
"So you may want something, but find it hard to say so?"
"Not just hard, Luce--like, literally impossible. I just can't."
"So last night--when you said you were ready, that you wanted more..."
She laughed, somewhat bitterly. "I'm scared that was a fluke. Like, I'll never be able to be that bold about wanting anything ever again."
"I think I'm starting to see what you're getting at."
Her gaze flicked to mine, hesitantly hopeful. "I just don't know any other way of being."
"What if instead of trying to jump right into saying what you want, you found ways of making it obvious?" I twisted to face her. "I get why coming out with 'hey, I want this,' or 'can I have that' would be hard. But with some things--like, for instance, between you and me, if you were to...be in a certain mood, but you didn't know how to communicate that in so many words..."
She smiled at me. "I could just show you."
"Right."
Joss sat staring at me, and I could see the wheels in her head turning. Deciding, perhaps, how to show me what she wanted. With a shaky, nervous breath, she stood up. Turned around to face me, a foot or so of space between us. For a moment, she just stood there, hands at her sides, breathing nervously. She shook her hands as if to fling away the trembles, clenched her fists, and then grasped the hem of the T-shirt. For a moment, she just held it, arms crossed over her stomach to grasp the hem at opposite hips, eyes on me, searching me. And then, in a single, lithe, smooth movement, she peeled the shirt off. She held it in her hands, knotted in front of her body, and then she forced herself to drop it, and to let her arms hang at her sides.
I could see the war in her. Her shoulders hunched, her head ducked, eyes downcast; and then, with obvious effort, she drew up straight, lifted her chin, and met my eyes. Talking herself into confidence. Into standing in front of me, naked and bold.
"God..." I breathed. "You're fucking gorgeous, Joss."
Her smile was hesitant. "Does this communicate clearly enough what I want, Lucian?"
I grinned up at her. "I think I might have an idea where you're going with this, yes."
I reached for her, grasping the backs of her thighs to draw her toward me. She stood between us, gazing down at me. Her hands rested on my shoulders. She pressed her thighs together, breathing slowly and deeply, and I couldn't help watching the way her breathing lifted the heavy teardrops of her breasts, sending them swaying gently side to side with each breath.
"Be bold, Joss," I whispered. "You're safe with me. Anything you could possibly want, I want just as much."
"I'm scared of how...how strong all this is inside me," she admitted.
"Me too."
She shook her head. "No, like, ever since we woke up, I've been..." She ducked her head, and I knew if she was fairer of skin, her cheeks would be red from blushing. "I can only think of one thing."
"What's that?" I asked, knowing full well, but hoping to get her to talk about it more openly.
She ran her hands over my shoulders, slid them through my hair, petting me, caressing me, affectionate and loving and possessive. "Luce, I'm serious. I'm worried I'm going to scare you with how crazy I feel."
"You can't scare me."
"You don't know how I'm feeling."
"Try me."
She drew several deep breaths, thinking hard, and then dropped her eyes to mine. "I feel like you...god, I know this is going to sound stupid or cheesy, but I feel like you woke something up inside me." Her laugh was self-deprecating. "Maybe that's normal, I don't know. I just know this feeling, this wanting you, it's scary intense."
"That doesn't scare me, Joss, that excites me."
A ray of hope bloomed on her face. "Really?"
I nodded. "And trust me, I'm sitting here feeling just as crazy, but I'm scared to show you how much I want you. I don't want to scare you off or overwhelm you, or make you think sex is all I mean when I say I love you--"
She breathed a sharp sigh of relief. "Thank god you said that," she breathed. "I was scared if I even said it I'd sound shallow or something."
"I'm not sure I'm going to say this right, but..." I swallowed hard, letting out a breath. "Being in love with you feels like this whole big puzzle. It's emotion, it's a feeling of wanting to take care of you and protect you and show you that you're safe and that you belong, but it's also got this physical component. Being attracted to you, wanting you, it's part of it. It's not the only part of it, but it's an important aspect."
"It's all I can think about right now," she whispered. "The physical aspect, I mean."
I laughed, resting my forehead against her belly. "God, me too."
"Is that normal?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. This is new for me, too." I glanced up at her. "But honestly, I don't care what's normal. All that matters is what works for us."
Her fingers scratched into my scalp, massaging, caressing. "So--god, this is hard to say...I know last night you were being careful and gentle, and I appreciate that. But, I--I don't think I would mind if--if going forward you were less...careful."
"Then let's be open with one another, Joss. You be bold, too. Show me what you want. Take what you want. And you can be damn sure I'll do the same. We do that, we'll both be sure we're getting exactly what we want."
She breathed a sigh. "I like the sound of that."
I let my hands drift upward to cup her ass, staring up at her as I did so.
She smiled, biting her lip--a gesture I was beginning to recognize as one of pleasure and desire, a gesture of sensual delight. "That feels nice."
"Your ass feels nice," I said, caressing the globes, playing with their juicy bounce. "It's a beautiful piece of anatomy, I must say."
She giggled. "I'm glad you think so. Even with all the walking I did, it never got any smaller. I've always been a bit self-conscious about how big my butt is." She wiggled her hips, sending her butt into motion. "It's so jiggly."
I growled as her ass cheeks shook in my hands. "Jesus, Joss...you have no idea, do you?"
She frowned at me. "No idea of what?"
"How much I love your ass...and how crazy it makes me when you do that."
She bit her lip again. "When I do what?" she asked, coy, now. "This?" She shook her hips again, and this time added a little dip of the knees to it, making a dance of it.
My cock responded accordingly, dancing and throbbing to life, something I made no effort to hide. "You see what it does to me?"
She groaned in her throat. "Yeah, I see."
Joss was at the perfect height, standing in front of me, and I was done trying to suppress the desire to do one thing--now that I knew she was as crazy eager as I was, I felt like it was safe to give in to my need for her without holding back.
I clutched her ass and hauled her up against me. She gasped as I jerked her forward, and I watched her thighs press together. "Are you wet, Joss?" I asked in a snarl.
"Luce..." she breathed.
"Are you?"
She threaded her fingers into my hair, gnawing on her lower lip, brows furrowed, and she pulled my face toward her core. "You should...you should check and see for yourself."
"Check how?" I asked, and nudged my knee between hers, and she shifted her feet apart, gradually at first and then more eagerly as I leaned in to nip and kiss the velvet and silk of her inner thighs. "Like this?"
She dug her fingernails into my scalp at the back of my head. "Please, Luce..."
I couldn't help a laugh. "Please what, Joss?"
She moaned in frustration. "Don't make me say it again."
"But it's so hot hearing you say it."
I took mercy on her, more because I was as eager to devour her as she was to be devoured. In reality, I couldn't wait. I need her. I needed to taste her again. I'd been sitting here with her sweet pussy inches from my face, smelling her desire, and wanting to taste her all over again, and denying myself. And now...I was done waiting.
So was she, it seemed--she tilted her hips toward me and dipped at the knees and pulled my face against her pussy, a breathy whine escaping her throat as I buried my mouth against her desire-damp slit. I plunged my tongue inside her and lapped at the seeping essence, and then flicked my tongue against her erect little clit, and her breathy whine became a loud moan. It was mere moments before she was grinding against my mouth. I clutched her ass and devoured her with all the eagerness I possessed, thrashing her to climax as fast as possible.
She screamed as she fell over the edge, head thrown back, shrieking as her orgasm racked her.
She collapsed against me, and I caught her, letting her weight carry us to the mattress. She gasped for breath, shaking all over, limp against me. And then she lifted up, staring down at me, and the heat in her eyes seared into me. She looked as if she was about to say something, but then, instead, she stretched out over me and across the bed to the nightstand, snagging the string of condom packets. We were on the edge of the bed still, my feet on the floor with her weight on me, my throbbing cock wedged between us. When she had the string of condoms, she sat back down, ripped a packet free, and tore it open. After withdrawing the condom, she hesitated, sitting on my thighs, staring down at me.
I just smiled at her. Waited, my hands on her hips.
She reached for me, tilted my cock away from my body, and rolled the condom on with a hand-over-hand motion that drove me wild. I shifted backward on the bed, and Joss moved to get off me, as if to go to her back again, but I stopped her, holding her in place with my hands on her hips.
"Stay like this," I said.
She settled back down astride my thighs. "Are you sure?"
I ground against her, sliding my palms up to her breasts. "Absolutely."
After another moment of hesitation, Joss leaned forward to lift her ass off my thighs. Her eyes fixed on mine, she planted one hand on the mattress--I moved her hand to my chest, so I was supporting all of her weight. She reached between us, grasped me, guiding me to her opening. I watched her blossom, then. She hesitated again, my crown just barely splitting her open. Her other hand came to rest on my chest beside the other, her weight pitched forward.
I brushed my thumbs across her nipples, and she shivered; I dragged my palms down her sides to grasp her by the hip creases, and then touched her clit with my thumb, rubbing in circles, just barely making contact. Her shiver turned to a shudder, eyes shuttering closed, and she moaned, still leaned forward, keeping me not quite inside her, just the very tip splitting apart the lips of her pussy.
"Joss," I whispered.
Her eyes flicked open.
"Take me, baby."
She sucked in a long, sharp breath, held it, fingers clawing into my chest. And then, slowly, she sank down around me, groaning as I filled her and stretched her wide.
"Ohhhh--fuck!" she groaned, as her ass settled against my thighs, eyes sliding closed again. "Jesus, Lucian..."
I pushed up against her, deeper, and she whimpered, hunching over me.
"Joss..." I growled, my voice hoarse and ragged. "So...fucking...tight."
She wrenched her eyes open. "Oh fuck, oh fuck, Lucian--you feel even bigger like this."
"Because I can go deeper from this angle."
She lifted up, a long whimper dragging out of her with each inch of me that slid between her pulsing walls. "I feel like I'm stretched apart so far I could break."
"Are you okay?"
Pausing when I was nearly falling out of her opening, Joss stared down at me with wide, fraught eyes. "So much more than okay."
"Well, I don't want to break you," I said.
She sank down on me again, impaling me into her. "Luce, please--please--"
"What, baby? Say it. Anything."
Her voice was a ragged whisper. "Break me."
"Oh...thank fuck," I groaned. "I want to let you have this, but I need..."
Joss's fingers pressed against my lips, silencing me. I bit playfully down on her fingertips, and she hooked her fingers against my teeth, leaning back to balance on me, sitting upright. She lifted up again, and this time I met her on the down stroke, our bodies crashing together with a loud slap. She cried out, throwing her head back, spine arching, tits bouncing, ass slapping against my thighs. My snarl was loud, feral, and her cry was raw and ragged. She lifted up, hands going to her breasts, lifting them, clutching, and letting them fall with a lush, swaying bounce that made me crazy. I lost all control, then, driving up against her--which only served to ignite her even more, setting her on fire. She whimpered as I filled her and gasped as we drew apart, and screamed when we slammed together.
"Luce, god, Lucian--the way you feel, like this--fuck, Lucian...it's too good--so amazing..." The words seemed ripped out of her. "Like you hit me just right, and I can't--oh god, I'm gonna come again, but I don't want this to ever end."
"Come for me, Joss," I snarled. "Don't hold it back. Just let go, baby."
She gave up all pretense of control, then. She fell forward, hands clawing into my chest, dreadlocks dangling and dancing around my face, breasts swaying and flying back and forth as she rode me. She rolled her hips on me, driving me deeper, and then pulled forward and began slapping her ass against me with crazed abandon, riding me and screaming as she came apart. I was helpless against the vision of her like that, an erotic goddess taking her pleasure, dusky skin flushed golden and limned by the sunrise shining through my window, thick black dreadlocks dancing, big heavy breasts swaying forward and clapping back against her chest, her ass crushing against my thighs, her eyes closed in ecstasy, mouth open as she screamed her release, crying my name over and over again.
I came when she did, her orgasm forcing her pussy to clamp around me, bringing me to orgasm instantly. I felt it rip through me like an earthquake, hot and furious and concussive, my bellowing roar of release loud in my own ears, mingling with her breathless screams and shrieks.
She rode me through her orgasm until neither of us co
uld move or breathe, and then she collapsed forward onto me, arms wrapping around my neck, her tits crushed between us, her face in my neck.
After we regained our breath, she lifted up, bracing her elbows on my chest. "I really, really fucking liked being on top, Luce."
I couldn't help laughing. "I could tell."
She laughed with me. "I kind of lost control for a minute, huh?"
I caressed her flesh wherever I could reach, shoulders, back, butt, thighs. "I love it when you lose control."
She nuzzled my throat. "I felt sexy."
"You looked like a goddess."
"I felt like one." She lifted up again to fix me with a hot look. "Next time, I want to find out what it's like when you lose control. How can we do that?"
"You're becoming rather voracious, aren't you?" I asked, grinning.
She ducked her head, and I knew she was blushing, even if her skin was too dark to show it. "That's what I meant, earlier. I feel like you brought something to life inside me, something so...so wild and hungry for sex that I'll never be able to satisfy it."
"Joss, baby?"
She looked up, embarrassed. "Yeah?"
"That's actually the exact opposite of a problem."
"Oh. Really?"
I nodded. "That's every man's dream--a woman who can't ever get enough sex."
She buried her nose in the hollow of my throat. "Oh. Well...good, then. I want to be your dream woman."
I laughed softly. "You already are, Joss."
I rolled to my back and she moved to curl into me, finding a comfortable position immediately, tangled up with me, cradling my head in one hand and my ass in the other, her lips against my chest.
More minutes passed like that, and we may have dozed for a few minutes, I don't know.
Eventually, she spoke without looking up at me. "That...was...incredible."
I touched her cheek with my palm. "I didn't--I didn't hurt you, did I?"
She looked at me, then, smiling sweetly. "No, Luce." She shifted, wincing. "I am a little sore down there, though. Can we take a little break?"
"I need one myself," I admitted. "Need to recharge, if you know what I mean."
She giggled. "If I wasn't sore, I'd want you again right now."
"How about I make us something some breakfast?"
She gripped my arm excitedly. "Eggs? And bacon? And some of those waffles?" She lifted up to meet my eyes, hers dancing, manic and alive and full of joy. "And coffee?"
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