Messy Perfect Love

by Claire Kingsley

She shoots Cody an annoyed look. “Well, that’s a relief. Cody, get upstairs and introduce Clover to everyone.”

  “I will,” he says with a grin. “Although she’s already met everyone except Dad.”

  “Not under the right circumstances,” Maureen says.

  Cody takes me up a staircase. We emerge on the roof, but it isn’t sloped. It’s completely flat, with a railing going around the entire perimeter. There’s seating, and patio umbrellas, and a built-in grilling station. But it’s the view that makes my mouth drop open. The ocean stretches out in all its sparkling glory. A few seagulls soar through the air, and the wind blows.

  “Wow,” I say. “This is amazing.”

  “Yeah, it’s pretty great,” Cody says. “I don’t ever get tired of this view.”

  We join the others near the grill. Cody introduces me to his dad, Ed, who’s busy brushing sauce on some crackling chicken. I recognize Ryan, Nicole, and Hunter from the restaurant. Ryan looks so much like Cody, except maybe an inch shorter, with a more serious face. Nicole is just as pretty as I remember, with shoulder-length blond hair and a friendly smile. She’s wearing a turquoise dress that makes her eyes look bright blue. Hunter has a thick build, his muscular arms stretching his green t-shirt. They all ask me how I’m doing, and I assure them I’m fine.

  Maureen brings up a big salad and puts it on the table, which is already set. There are bright yellow placemats, white dishes, and blue cups that look like the glass is full of bubbles. It all looks so nice and coordinated.

  I swallow hard, a fresh wave of nervousness rolling through my tummy. Cody jokes with his brothers; Nicole rolls her eyes but laughs at their antics. Maureen bustles around, helping Ed bring the food to the table, and Nicole jumps in to help. I feel like I ought to pitch in, but I’m not sure what to do, and no one stops moving long enough for me to ask. My hands feel twitchy, and I have a sudden fear of dropping something. Maybe it’s better if I just stay out of the way.

  When everything is ready, we sit down. Maureen and Ed take the heads of the table, and the rest of us sit in between. I wind up on the end, with Maureen on my right and Cody on my left. Everyone starts grabbing food and passing it around the table. It all looks amazing, but I’m afraid my stomach is too agitated and I won’t be able to eat.

  “Clover,” Maureen says. “Tell us about yourself. Where are you from?”

  “Oh, okay,” I say, glad to have an excuse to put my fork down. “Well, I lived in Walla Walla for a while. Before that, I was in Idaho. Before that…” I pause, trying to remember. “I guess it was Colorado. That was a big move. I’ve also lived in … let’s see. Kansas for a few months, Missouri before that. Also Mississippi, North Carolina, Massachusetts, and upstate New York.”

  “My goodness,” Maureen says. “You’ve certainly been all over.”

  “Yeah,” I say. “I moved around a lot as a kid, too. We lived in an RV.”

  “Well, that must have been an adventurous childhood,” Maureen says.

  “I suppose,” I say. “My parents were … different. Free spirits, I guess. They didn’t like to be tied down.”

  “And what brought you here, to Jetty Beach?” she asks.

  “Mom, let her eat,” Cody says.

  “It’s okay,” I say. “It was time for a change, I guess. People sometimes think I’m crazy, but I like to follow fate. There were signs that it was time to move on, and signs that I should come here. So I followed them.”

  “That’s amazing,” Maureen says. There isn’t a hint of judgment in her voice.

  The conversation turns to other things. I wonder if anyone will ask about Cody’s ex, but her name doesn’t come up. Ryan talks about the remodeling work he’s doing on his house. Maureen and Nicole chat about the wedding. Ed asks Hunter about his business, which he says is going well. Cody asks Nicole about someone named Melissa, who turns out to be Nicole’s best friend. By the look on Nicole’s face, I can tell she’s concerned for her friend, but they don’t talk about it further, and I don’t feel comfortable asking questions. Maureen starts in with stories about the three boys when they were kids, until they all beg her to stop.

  I’m in awe of Cody’s family. They’re such normal, nice people, living in this sweet little town. They’ve all been here most of their lives, and seem perfectly content to stay. My nervousness doesn’t dissipate as the meal goes on; it only grows. I feel like the one yellow flower in a sea of white, sticking out for all the world to stare at. They’re so comfortable with each other, even Nicole. They’ve obviously embraced her.

  I feel awful for being so fidgety, but I can’t sit still. I pick at my food, trying hard to eat enough so that I won’t offend anyone. It’s delicious, but I’m so off kilter. I desperately want these people to like me, but I can’t seem to find my usual charm. They’re so … intimidating. I know they don’t mean to be, and the panic I’m feeling is entirely in my own head. Maybe it’s the concussion. But I have the sinking feeling that I don’t belong there, and I never will.

  “Clover, will you pass the chicken down this way?” Ed asks.

  “Of course.” I grab the half-empty platter of chicken—but my hands slip, and the platter crashes onto my plate, dumping the chicken into my lap.

  I hesitate for a second, half-frozen with shock. The chicken is still warm, but worse is the sticky sauce dripping down my chest, beneath my dress. Cody grabs the platter, revealing my broken plate underneath. Suddenly there are hands grabbing the chicken, napkins coming from every direction, and sympathetic voices surrounding me.

  I can’t believe I did that.

  Tears sting my eyes. “Oh, no. I’m so sorry.”

  I push my chair back and, clutching a napkin to my chest, hurry downstairs.

  Cody is right behind me; I stop in the kitchen, trying desperately not to cry.

  “Hey,” he says. He grabs some paper towels from a roll on the counter. “Here, let me help.”

  “No, I’m fine,” I say, turning away so he can’t see my face.

  “Did it burn you or anything?” he asks.

  “No, it wasn’t hot,” I say, sniffling. “Just messy.”

  He’s quiet, handing me a few more paper towels while I blot my dress. I get the worst of it off, but it’s probably going to stain.

  “Do you want to stay for dessert, or would you rather just go?” he asks, his voice quiet.

  I look down at the brown smear on my clothes. I feel so stupid. I don’t want to go up there and face everyone. “You can stay if you want, but I think I’d rather go.”

  “Okay,” he says. “Let me go up and say goodbye. I’ll be right back.”

  I go out the front door and wait by his car, wishing I drove here myself. I don’t want to have to deal with saying goodbye to everyone if they come downstairs. Of course I screwed up. It fucking figures. I always do that when things get intense. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

  Cody comes out and gives me an apologetic smile. We get into the car and drive back to his place in silence. I don’t know what to say. I ruined dinner with his family, and made him leave early. I really need to find a place to live so I can get out of his way. I’m only going to mess things up.

  14

  Cody

  Clover doesn’t say anything on the short drive back to my house. Glancing at her from the corner of my eye, I can tell she’s fighting back tears. Dropping the platter wasn’t that big of a deal. No one was hurt, and my mom certainly doesn’t care about a broken plate. But it clearly bothers Clover.

  My family waited on the deck while I went to check on her. My mom was perceptive enough to make sure everyone gave her some space. No one was upset about the mess, and they were genuinely disappointed when I told them we were leaving. But I wasn’t going to make Clover stay.

  She goes straight upstairs as soon as we get back. I toss my keys on the kitchen counter and slump down on the couch. I feel like shit. Seeing Clover upset is crushing, even if it’s not my fault. The light in her eyes dims, and I w
ant to do anything in my power to bring back her smile.

  I flip on the TV and wait, listening to the faint sound of the shower. I don’t pay much attention to what’s on. The minutes tick by. I’m impatient for her to come down. I want to make sure she’s okay, and assure her no one is mad at her. My mom texts—it’s so funny that my mom learned how to text—asking how Clover’s doing. I honestly don’t know, but I don’t want my mom to worry, so I reply saying she’s fine.

  Forty minutes go by, and she doesn’t come down. The shower has long since turned off. Did she go to bed? Does she want to be alone?

  I bounce my leg up and down, wondering what I should do—if anything. She had a mishap, and it embarrassed her. I can’t blame her for that. She’s been through a lot this last week. She probably needs her space. I should definitely leave her alone.

  But the thought of her upstairs feeling bad, possibly even crying, is too much. I have to make her feel better.

  I walk quietly up the stairs and pause outside my bedroom door. It’s closed. I lift my hand to knock, but hesitate. Should I do this? She’s upset and vulnerable, and maybe lying on my bed.

  I’ll just check on her and make sure her head doesn’t hurt, maybe offer to bring her something to drink. Maybe she needs Tylenol again. I can handle that. I can control myself.

  I knock softly a few times.

  “Yeah?” Her voice is muffled through the door.

  I open it a crack. “Hey, Clover. Can I come in?”

  “Sure.”

  I find her sitting up on my bed, dressed in one of my white t-shirts, her hair wet. She has the comforter pulled up over her lap and she’s looking at her phone.

  She glances down at her clothes. “Sorry. I shouldn’t wear your shirts without asking you. They’re just really comfortable.”

  “It’s okay,” I say. “I don’t mind.”

  “I am so sorry,” she says. “I don’t know what happened. One second I was holding that platter, and the next it was all in my lap, and dripping into my bra. I shouldn’t have made you leave like that, but I was just so embarrassed.”

  I move closer, trying to keep my eyes from drifting down to her breasts. I can see her nipples brushing the fabric of my t-shirt. She looks adorable, all unkempt and natural. I sit down on the edge of the bed.

  “You really don’t need to apologize,” I say. “It was an accident. They happen.”

  “Well, they happen to me all the time,” she says. “I was so nervous, and I didn’t want to screw anything up. So of course, I did.”

  “Why were you nervous?”

  She shrugs and her breasts bounce a little. I swallow hard.

  “I don’t know,” she says. “I guess I was worried your family wasn’t going to like me. I’m so different from all of them. And you. You’re all close and know things about each other. I’ve never had that. I don’t even know what it would be like.”

  “You are different,” I say. She looks up and meets my eyes. They’re so blue and sad. “But that’s what’s so amazing about you. I’ve never known anyone quite like you before.”

  A tiny smile creeps across her lips. I scoot a little closer.

  “Look at you,” I say. “You’re beautiful, and fun—and your smile? Holy shit, Clover, you smile and the world lights up. I can’t even describe it.”

  Her smile grows.

  So does my dick.

  I’m on a roll—her expression is softening and the tears drying—so I don’t stop talking. “You know how you said you remember seeing me in the restaurant, right before you hit your head? I remember that, too. I remember it because I took one look at you and I couldn’t see anything else. You had this … I don’t know. This energy about you. It was fucking magnetic. I couldn’t look away. And then you got hurt, and I would have done anything to help you get better. I feel like that again, right now. I’d do anything to bring back your smile.”

  “Anything?” she asks, her voice almost a whisper.

  My heart thunders in my chest, and my dick is hard as fuck. I want her so badly, I can hardly hold myself back. She takes deep breaths, her breasts pushing against her shirt. Her hands curl around the comforter in a tight grip, and she licks her lips.

  I shouldn’t. She’s hurt, and I have no idea if she and I can possibly work out.

  “Anything.”

  I brush one of her curls away from her forehead, my fingers trailing over her skin. I shouldn’t have touched her. Now that I have, I can’t stop. I run my hand down her face, to her neck. She’s so soft. Her damp hair tickles the back of my hand. I lean in and she doesn’t shy away. She moves closer, our noses touching.

  I brush my lips across hers, not quite a kiss. She gasps. My hand moves around to the back of her neck and I hold her, my grip firm. Her face tilts and I surge in, feeling her mouth open for me. Her hands grasp my shirt. I slide my tongue in, savoring her sweet mouth, my body coming alive.

  I want every inch of her. I hold her close, devouring her mouth. She gets to her knees and climbs in my lap, wrapping her legs around me.

  She pulls away from my kiss. “It’s about time.”

  I kiss her again and reach around to grab her ass with both hands. Oh my god, she feels so good. “Are you sure about this?”

  “Fuck, yes,” she says.

  She pulls off my shirt and runs her hands over my chest. I lift her shirt over her head and toss it aside, then kiss her again.

  Holding her ass with one hand, I cup one of her round breasts with the other. She leans her head back and moans. I run my tongue over her nipple, then put my mouth around her breast and suck. I hold her ass, and she grinds her pussy into my groin, her nipple hard against my tongue. I taste her other breast, running my tongue around her sweet skin. She rubs herself against me, her hands on the back of my neck.

  “Oh my god, Cody.”

  I work my way back up her neck, sucking on her skin. My hands grip her hips and I lean her down so she’s on her back, lying sideways across the bed. She lets her knees fall open and rubs herself through her panties with two fingers.

  “You want this, baby?” she asks.

  I drop my pants, kicking them away, and get on my knees in front of her. She pushes her panties to the side, revealing her soft petals of skin.

  I don’t want even a scrap of fabric between us. I move her hand and pull her panties off. “You’re mine, now,” I say, and slide a hand up the inside of her thigh and go right for her center. I push my fingers in. She’s deliciously wet, and I move in and out, feeling her body start to move. She rocks her hips, and I press my hand above her slit while my fingers work.

  “Oh god, Cody, you’re driving me crazy.”

  I lean down over her and take her breast in my mouth again, my fingers still massaging her clit. I love the way her nipple feels against my tongue. My cock rubs against her leg and she makes sweet noises with every movement of my hand. I can barely stand it.

  I lift away from her and she tries to sit up. I pull my fingers out and gently, but firmly, push her back down. “I said you’re mine now.”

  Her mouth drops open like she’s surprised, but it curls into a smile. “You take what you want then, bad boy.”

  “I will.”

  15

  Clover

  Holy shit, who is this commanding man, and what has he done with Cody?

  I love it.

  Cody runs his hands all over my body. He meant it when he said I’m his. In this moment, he owns me. He can do anything he wants.

  What I want is his cock inside me. I’m so hot I’m dying.

  He leans in and sucks my nipple, making me writhe. He grabs my wrist and guides my hand to his cock. I grip it as tight as I dare and he groans. He doesn’t let go, moving my hand up and down.

  “That’s it, baby,” he says. “Harder.”

  “Fuck Cody, I need this in me.”

  “Soon,” he says. “Rub me faster.”

  I comply and he puts his fingers back inside me, moving with the quick r
hythm of my hand around his cock.

  “Oh yeah, baby, just like that,” he says.

  I feel wetness on my hand and I swirl it around the tip. He groans again, pushing the heel of his hand into my clit. I’m getting close already, but I don’t want to lose control. Not until he’s in me.

  His mouth finds its way back to mine and his tongue dives in, his lips firm but so delicious. I stroke his shaft up and down, trying to coax him to my pussy. His hand slows and I follow his lead, still keeping my fingers tight around his cock.

  “No, don’t stop,” I say.

  “Beg for me,” he says with a wicked grin. He finds my clit with his thumb and rubs in a slow circle.

  “Please,” I say, whimpering. How does he know how to touch me like that?

  “Let me hear you,” he says. “What do you want?

  “I want your cock in me.”

  He licks his lips and smiles. “I’m going to make you come so hard, Clover.”

  “Oh my god, Cody, do it now.”

  He leans over and grabs a condom from a drawer in his night stand. In half a second, he rips open the package and slides it on.

  “I’m on the pill,” I say.

  “It’s okay, I always use one,” he says. He takes my hand and brings me up to sitting, then lays down next to me, flat on his back. “Come here,” he says, pulling me around so I’m straddling him. He grabs my hips and holds me just above him.

  I run my hands down his rippling abs, rocking my hips across his tip, desperate to plunge down onto him. “Cody.”

  “Let me hear you.”

  “Cody, please.”

  His eyelids half-close. “That’s it, baby, tell me what you want.”

  “I want you.”

  “Tell me.”

  “I want your cock inside me. Put it in, Cody. Give it to me.”

  He rams me down onto his cock and I throw my head back, shrieking with pleasure. I just had my hand around him, but I’m not prepared for how he fills me.

  His hands dig into my hips. He guides me back and forth, pushing up into me each time I sink down his shaft. My pussy clenches around him, my muscles tightening.