by Lauren Wood
“Yeah, I guess not.”
Her hair was already lighter as it dried. It was a strawberry blonde color now, when at first I had thought it as more brown. Her skin was light and freckled, her eyes lit up with the smile that came easy to her face. It was like she was a whole other person and I can’t say that this version was any easier to not stare at.
I stumbled over my words as her green eyes met mine. She wouldn’t let them go and the more I tried to get myself together, the worse off I was. She was beautiful, magical and I was afraid that I had lost it. It was like I had hit my head and now I was not even myself anymore.
“So are you hungry?”
“Yeah, let me just get some clothes on.”
She was still in her towel, a fact that I knew rather well since I was the one that couldn’t take my eyes off of her. The longer I stood there looking at her, the clearer it all was to me. I was here for a reason.
“Of course.”
I moved away and felt like a bumbling idiot. I was really off of my game at the moment and I tried to recover by taking the lids off of the plates I had covered the rest of the bed with. I didn’t know how to do anything half measured, so I wanted her to see that she had everything her heart could desire. It wasn’t part of the favor for Ashlyn, this was for Meri. The poor woman had a rough couple of weeks and I wanted to help her feel a little bit better. There was no telling how long we were going to be stuck here together, so the best way to assure that it wasn’t a total disaster was to make nice. Meri was the kind of woman that made it rather easy.
She came back out in a thin dress that I saw a lot of the locals in. The bright pinks and purples matched her hair somehow and made her look even more vibrant.
“You look beautiful.”
“Thank you Sam. Is that your professional opinion?”
I shrugged. “I have been off the clock for a while, so that was just a man’s opinion. Come eat before it gets cold.” And I put my on foot in my mouth again.
“Wow, I am not that hungry, but everything does look good.”
“I ordered everything they had. I didn’t know what it was that you liked.”
“You are very thoughtful Sam, thank you. I hope I can pay you back in some way.”
“No need. Really. I never get to do anything worthwhile anymore. I make a lot of money and I help rich people get richer, but this, helping you makes me feel like I did when I first started law school.”
“Well you should let me do your taxes, for free if you like.”
I chuckled and smile at the young woman. She was sitting in the middle of the bed with a fork, trying a little bit off of each plate. She had no idea that I had a full staff of accountants to do my books. She had no idea how big I was back home and I liked the feeling of that. I wasn’t some big shot lawyer in her eyes. I was just a man that had saved her. I really liked being that man for her ad the simplicity of it all.
“I will think about it. You have a big job waiting for you when you get back.”
“I doubt it will still be there. It doesn’t look good to be away like this and not show up. I couldn’t even call. I don’t think I will ever show my face there again. I just won’t be able to.”
“So what are you going to do?”
“I am still going to New York. I have always wanted to live there. I will just have to figure something else when I get there. I am sure that there will be plenty of work.”
She was optimistic and in my line of life, it was too rare. No one looked at the bright side and Meri had every reason not to, but here she was talking about the silver lining of her arrest in Thailand.
“What do you want to do tomorrow? Are we going to look for Carol?”
As soon as I said the words, I regretted them. Her face crumpled and she was no longer looking so positive. It was as if I had reminded her of something that her mind had finally pushed away enough that she wasn’t constantly thinking of it. I took that away and I felt that the biggest doof for doing so. I knew that it was because of me that she was now sad. I wanted to change that for her. I wanted to make her smile again, but I wasn’t sure how I was going to do that.
“Sorry Meri. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
The words were out, but they felt so incomplete. I had made her cry. Not thinking again, something that was becoming a trend with being around her, I leaned in and lifted up her chin with my fingers. I made her look at me and I told her that everything was going to be okay. I didn’t know if that was true, but I sure hoped that it was, for her sake. For my sake as well. I never wanted to see this woman cry again.
“What if it isn’t?”
“It will be.” I moved the last few inches to bring me to her lips and I kissed her on the mouth. Her lips were surprised and unyielding at first, but it didn’t take longer before I heard the soft moan of submission. I wanted to make her feel better, balm the pain that I could so clearly see in her eyes. I wanted to take it away and this was the only way I knew how to do it. I would have done anything to make her smile once again.
Her sweetness spoke to me in strange ways and before long I forgot what it was I had set out to do. She was no longer sad, but kissing me back and her fingers were playing with the hairs on my arms. She was putty in my hands, malleable as all get out and I pulled her closer to me. There were more things that I could do to make her feel better and I wanted to show her all of them. I wanted to make her forget about the horrible encounter she had here, her missing friend, what came next. I wanted her to only be in the moment with me, knowing that was the best way to help her right now.
I wanted more though. All thoughts of help were out the window when she moaned against me and I pulled her onto my lap. The bed shifted for us, letting me have all of her in the way that I wanted and needed. There was nothing that I could do to stop myself. It was only her tiny hands on my chest that made me realize that I had to stop.
Meri was breathing hard and her eyes were shocked and full of questions. I didn’t have any answers for her. There was no real sense to how I was feeling and I leaned in for another kiss that she allowed. Before I was attracted to her, now with a little taste and hearing her sounds, I had fallen for her. It wasn’t right, I knew that, but it didn’t matter. I had to have her, make it all better and the one thing that I knew would help, seemed to be the one thing she refused.
Again I felt her hands on my chest, pushing me away ever so slightly. I growled at her and she made a sound before she got off of my lap.
“Sorry Meri. I don’t know what came over me.”
She didn’t respond, but Meri did get up to put some distance between us. It wasn’t at all what I had pictured in my head and now I felt even worse. For a man that was so confident and always seemed to know what a woman wanted, I was unsure how to move further with her. I was confused about it all and what I did know was that I was getting blown off, something I don’t ever remember happening before.
“It’s okay Sam. You have done a lot for me and I appreciate it, but I am not looking to do that.”
It was the way she said it, not even able to say the words that had me wondering how far off I was. Was her innocence that deep? I was even more intrigued, which helped the need inside of me just a little bit more. The idea that Meri was untouched flitted into my brain and took root.
“I was trying to help you forget. It usually helps.”
“I am sure it does, but no thank you.”
She was so polite that it was impossible to be mad. Meri mentioned having to go to bed and I didn’t blame her. So I helped her move the food trays off of the bed and went downstairs after she laid down. I needed a few minutes to myself to think it all through.
I went downstairs and I was still turned on by Meri. The same woman I had seen before was there, smiling in a way that told me she would be what I wanted. All I had to do was ask. I was tempted, I really was, but at the end of the day, as I made my way back up to the room alone. I wasn’t ready to settle. I never was a man that settle
d in anything that I did and the woman I was with was not something I was really willing to do.
When I got back, Meri was sleeping on the bed, tucked underneath the sheets. Her shoulders were bare and I had to wonder if she was wearing anything underneath it. I liked to think that she wasn’t wearing anything underneath it, but that did nothing for my mental state and I decided that thinking about it in general was going to drive me absolutely mad.
I had to take a cold shower before I was able to go lay down on the couch. I had thought of so many things that would be a challenge, but I hadn’t for a moment considered what it was going to do to me to be around her. I wasn’t able to touch her and for that alone, I felt like I was being punished in some way.
What was the saying? No good deed goes unpunished. I was certainly feeling that way today and Meri was my punishment. She was so close, yet there was nothing that I could do about it. She was untouchable, while my fingers ached to do just that.
Chapter 7
Meri
I woke up with my heart racing and there was a scream in the air. I didn’t know whose it was, but it occurred to me not long later that it was my own voice doing it. When I saw Sam busting into the small bedroom with a look on his face that something was wrong, I knew that I was the one that had made the sound. It made sense. I had woken up from a dream I couldn’t remember, but I could still remember the feeling that it gave me. Something bad had happened in the dream, even if I wasn’t sure what that was in the light of day.
“Are you okay?”
He looked worried and he had something in his hand like he was going to use it as a weapon. When I looked at the long stick thing and then back at him, he set it down with a smile. “I didn’t know what was going on. Are you okay?”
I wasn’t okay, but I couldn’t tell him that. I wasn’t sure what was wrong, why I felt this way, but there was something not right.
“It was just a dream. It was a really vivid dream that I can seem to shake. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
He waved me off and it was then that I realized that his chest was bare. All of him was clear in my sights and he was only wearing some soft shorts on his bottoms. All of Sam was out to see and the large man just looked even bigger to me than before. It was hard to ignore what I was seeing and I moved back towards the bed because I didn’t trust the curiosity running through me.
“Would you like to talk about it? Sometimes getting it out will make it better. I know that I have had some doozy. You are most likely having them because of your ordeal. You have been through a lot Meri. Your mind just can’t take it.”
It had been a lot. I would be the first to admit it, but I had been through worse. More than that, I was affected by what he was wearing or lack thereof, far more than I was worried about unremembered dream.
“It’s fine, really Sam. Sorry I woke you up.”
“I can stay with you. I don’t want you to feel like you are in this alone.”
“You really are a full service lawyer, aren’t you?”
There was a flash in his eyes and he smiled at me in a way that made my heart stop. “You have no idea how full service I can be. I was trying to show you a little yesterday, but you weren’t going for it. I can make you forget about it all.”
It was a hell of a promise and by the way he was looking at me, I had a feeling that he could do everything that he said he could and more. It made sense. The man was gorgeous, rich and was more the likely very versed in the ways of women. But I wasn’t versed at any of this and the last thing that I wanted to do was let that be known. Everyone acted differently towards me once they found out. They would act like I was a freak and something was wrong with me. I wouldn’t be able to bare it if he looked at me the same way.
“It’s okay, really. I am just going to go back to sleep.” It was the only nice way that I could tell him I wanted to be alone. He was dangerous. Men like him were dangerous because they would make me think about all of the what-ifs. I had decided that I was going to wait, but that ended up being a hard decision around men like Sam. But it was worth it. I kept telling myself that as Sam left me alone in the room to my thoughts.
I went back to sleep for a little while and by morning I was ready to get started. I was worried about Carol, still unable to think that something had happened to her like it was suggested. I just couldn’t think that way. I knew that something was going on. She would not just pick up and leave, but at the same time, I feel like if something had happened to her, I would have known it. It would be something that I could feel. I didn’t feel it. It felt like she was in danger and my mind went back to that man I had met the night that everything changed. There was something about Rico and he had done something to Carol. Why else would he go to the police and try to get it all pinned on me?
So I got up and got dressed. My mind was on one thing only. I was going to figure out what was going on. When I got to where Sam was sleeping, I found him snoring and passed out still. It didn’t look like he had gotten much sleep the night before and I didn’t want to disturb him. He had done so much for me. It would have been wrong of me not to let him sleep in a little bit. He needed it as badly as I did.
I left the room as quietly as I could. I took the extra room key card because I wasn’t going to be gone too long. I was going to go see if I could find Rico and then I was going to demand that he tell me where Carol was. It wasn’t the best plan. I would be the first to agree to it, but it was the only kind of plan that I had. He knew where she was and once I found Carol, I could rest easier as well as then I would be able to go home. I wouldn’t have to have people thinking that I had done something to my friend. It would all come out and it all came down to Rico and what he knew.
The problem was that I didn’t really know who Rico was, because all I had was a name that I didn’t even know if it was really his name or not. It sounded like it could be short for something, but for what? Ricardo? The other issue was the fact that I didn’t know where he lived. Of everything that Carol had told me about him, she hadn’t said once where he lived or where he could be found.
All I could do was start the only place that I could. I knew that he was around here somewhere, but this was a big place. So I went to where we had gone the night before I went to jail and my friend came up missing. I was sure that something was going to help me. I just had to get to the club and the restaurant and ask around. Someone had to know who Rico was and more importantly, where I could find him.
It was getting later, already noon when I found the restaurant. When I started to ask the staff about the man, no one had any answers, but I felt like one woman in particular knew who I was talking about. She was actually afraid of Rico. I left so that she wouldn’t worry about it, but I had to wonder what that meant. I was going to have to see her again, away from everyone else and find out what it was that she knew. It was something, of that I was sure, but what?
I went next to the club and I was about to go in to the darkened place when I heard my name being called behind me. It was Sam, the only other person I knew in the whole country. “Hey Sam. How did you find me here?”
He looked worried. “I thought you had taken off.”
I chuckled and asked him where it was that I was supposed to go. I was stuck here with no passport. I told him what I was doing today, so why did he look like he was so surprised?
“Sorry, I told you last night where I was going. I figured I would see you when I got back.”
“Why didn’t you wake me up Meri? You are supposed to be in my care. It isn’t safe for you to be here alone.”
“I didn’t want to bother you. You have helped me so much Sam, I thought the least I could do was let you get some sleep. You looked like you really needed it.”
“I am supposed to be vouching for you Meri. You are supposed to stay with me at all times!”
He was getting upset and I wasn’t quite sure why. Did he really think that I was going to take off, knowing that he had put himself out there for
me? He should know better. I would have thought so anyways.
“You are helping me because of Ashlyn. Our mutual friend means a lot to me and I would never do anything to get her or you in trouble. I don’t know you, but if Ashlyn sent you, it’s because she trusts you. On the same note, she trusts me. I didn’t do anything to Carol. I think Rico did and I am going to find out. I can’t leave here without knowing what happened. You can understand that, can’t you?”
I was close to tears, mad at my body for betraying me in such a way. I hated all of the emotions that ran through me sometimes and I hated feeling so vulnerable around Sam. He held my life in his hands and I didn’t like the feeling of that, at all.
“I can, but wake me up. I am here to help you and find out what happened to your friend, will help us all get home. You are not the only one that is eager to get back to New York. I have a lot going on as well. I am kind of a big deal there.”
Sure that what he said was true I asked him if he wanted to come in with me. I was glad he was there. I felt safer around him than I had by myself. At least I could trust him and I knew that he was going to try his best to help me. What more could I ask for in such a situation?
Chapter 8
Sam
We left the club with a few answers, but more questions than when we started. While Meri had been so busy trying to find Rico, it occurred to me that it wasn’t Rico we were trying to find, but Carol. An American woman that looked like her wasn’t going to be hard to mistake, so I asked questions about the woman and one bartender that was there more days and nights, recognized the picture I showed him. More importantly, he saw the woman after the night in question. It wasn’t enough get Meri to walk, but it was enough to have me convinced that we had to keep moving in that direction. There was something to this. Meri was right, something was off.
“Let’s get some lunch and then we will go back to the restaurant and see if we can get anyone to recognize Carol. She could be anywhere, but we can at least start somewhere we know they have been.”