by Lauren Wood
So I was back to this life and it was already boring me to tears. I followed Constance to the small church that wasn’t but a quarter of a mile from the front door. I had been offered up to the church to help with a fundraiser that was going on. They were collecting non-perishables for their outreach program and I was forced to participate. Though I was a writer by trade, here in Watertown I was just the girl that made good cupcakes. So I was tasked to make several hundred to sell for charity. I didn’t mind it, but it was hard to think that this was the most exciting thing that I had done all week. That was the worst part, that my life had been reduced to this.
“Ever since you have been back, you aren’t really here.”
She sounded worried and knowing her, she was. Constance never did understand why I would want to do anything differently than what was expected me. She had found so much happiness in that, she couldn’t fathom why anyone else wouldn’t. It didn’t matter how many times I had tried to tell her that this life was never for me. Constance would never understand and that was why we had never been as close as I had hoped we would be.
“I’m here, going to church like I was asked to.”
“Well okay, you are here, but maybe it is just so clear that you don’t want to be here.”
“I never did. That was why I went to college and left, so I wouldn’t be here my whole life.”
“Marcus has been asking about you since you got back. You remember him, don’t you?”
I did and I told her I did, but I didn’t like the implications to what she was saying. I had been set up enough the last few years and I wasn’t trying to jump into that deep end again. Not knowing what I know now. Now I wouldn’t even be able to think of Marcus in any other way but inferior to a man like Carlos. While Carlos was a lot of things, good and bad, he was all male and that was something hard to find anywhere.
Thinking about him, made me miss him and there was a part of me that wanted to go right back into the danger zone. I hadn’t handled it all well, but I was just taken aback and I hadn’t been expecting that all to happen. Maybe in my nightmares and the way I had acted was just an honest reaction. I froze, unable to think of what to say or what to do. When it forced for me to leave the city, I just did, too embarrassed to want to stick around and see what would have happened next.
“See there you go again.”
“What?”
“You have a faraway look in your eyes and you aren’t even listening.”
Apologizing, I asked her to repeat herself, but we were already at the church and it was no longer wise to talk about much of anything. There were ears all over and anything that was said or done, the rest of the town would know about it by the end of the day. Another thing I missed about the city was the anonymity of having so many other people around. There I could just blend in and not worry too much about everything that I say or do. It is not that way here and I was reminded of that when I heard a faint whisper behind me as I walked in. I had to imagine that more than I would have liked was already known about my life.
“We will talk later sister, when there are less people around to hear us.”
She knew that I was asking for her to drop it. I still didn’t even know what it was that I would say to her. I did know that it wasn’t going to be that hard to keep my thoughts to myself. I had a lot of work to do and with everyone having their own assignments to do, it was easy to fall into a routine. I had missed baking and things of that nature, but there was only one place that I missed at the moment, only one man that filled my thoughts a bit too much.
***
The walk home was almost as quiet as the day had been. I was tired and Constance was thinking about what she had to do when she got home. She spoke a little about it as we walked out loud, but the conversation that had been halted earlier was not picked back up. I was thankful for that small mercy.
“I will see you tomorrow Eve. We have to set up the booths.”
“Okay Connie, I will see you tomorrow.”
“Then we will talk about what is going on with you. I still haven’t heard about what happened in the city and why you came back.”
“Surprised mom hasn’t told you.”
She shook her head and told me that mom refused. It was because she was embarrassed by my actions. To her it looked bad on her and I doubted that she wanted anyone else to know. But I heard the whispers, I know that people were talking about it and coming up with their own reasons.
“I want to hear it from you. Something has changed in you Eve and I want to know what it is.”
I watched Constance go to her own house a few doors down from my parents. They had bought the house for her and her new husband as a wedding gift. I knew that they were planning the same thing for me, if only I would fall into their cookie-cutter life plan that had for me. I didn’t want that though, never really had since I was old enough to realize that there was other choices to make. I wanted the right to my own choice.
Going in the house, I had a bit of determination in me and I thought I had finally come to a conclusion about what I was going to do. I had to stand up to her and just tell her that I wasn’t going to be able to do what she wanted. She was already hinting at new beaus for me and I was going to have to tell her if she wanted me to stay in Watertown I was going to have to be able to make my own decisions. I was an adult after all.
But I got about three steps in the door and stopped. What was he doing here?
“Eve dear, you have a visitor.”
I knew that I did. I could see Carlos from the door sitting on the living room sofa like he was supposed to be there. The leather jacket was gone and it was replaced with what I was sure he thought he was supposed to wear. A button down didn’t look right on him. Neither did the clean-shaven face in front of me. Everything about him was different, except the look in his dark eyes when ours eyes finally met. That part of him was the same and I was already tingling inside with the idea of what he wanted to do to me and what I wanted him to do to me.
“Um, what are you doing here Carlos?”
He smiled and made a point to not look at my parents. I was confused and when my mother chimed in with the answer, I was even more dazed.
“He is here to ask you something Eve. Me and your father are going to go in the other room. I am sure you have some catching up to do.”
Watching her leave, my mother actually winked at me when I passed by her. It was the strangest thing that I could have seen and I was sure that something was wrong with her. Why was she suddenly okay with Carlos? What had he said to her? Had he put the same voodoo on her as he had on me? There was just something about him that couldn’t be denied.
“What are you doing here?”
“You left.”
It was a simple answer, but one that I wasn’t really ready to process. Why did he say it like that? Like I had a reason to stay that involved in him.
“I left because things got complicated. That doesn’t tell me why you are here right now. Why are you at my parent’s house and why does my mother like you all of a sudden? Why are you dressed like that?”
He stood up and I backed away a few steps. “I thought that your mother would like me like this better and I was right. I am here for you Eve. I thought it was clear.”
Carlos kept coming closer and I could feel my body weakening. I wanted him to touch me, kiss me. I wanted to be in his arms again, but I knew that I shouldn’t. He was bad news and just because he had shaved and put on a button down, didn’t mean that it was changed. He hadn’t changed at all.
“What are you doing here?”
“I told you Eve, I am here for you.”
I found myself backed against the coffee table and I wasn’t able to sidestep it before he was upon me. I felt his hands on my shoulders and he made me look at him. “What do you want from me Carlos?”
“I want you. That’s all.”
He moved to kiss me and my eyes fluttered shut. How could I tell a man like him no? I didn’t want to
and there was no part of me that could actually say it. His lips were soft on mine, but just as insistent as he had been before. My body was ready to explode with just one touch. I didn’t think that I could ever get enough of him, even if he was too much all at the same time. Everything with Carlos was wrong and right, all at the same time. It was more than a little confusing and I pushed away from him before I was in the state I had been in before.
“We can’t do this Carlos. You just don’t understand.”
“I do. Joel told me and I know what it is that you need to make this okay.”
I didn’t know what he was talking about. Nothing was going to make this any better and nothing was going to make it okay that I was found with him in such a way. It wouldn’t change who he was and the fact that he wasn’t a man of morals.
Chapter 13
Carlos
I was sick of hearing how it wasn’t going to work out. I wasn’t going to take that as an answer and I moved to kiss her again. She didn’t say no, so I wasn’t paying attention to the soft hands that pushed on my chest. Eve liked to resist because she felt like what we did was wrong, but I didn’t feel that way. Everything with her was right, that was all I knew.
When my mouth wasn’t going to cut it, I knew that she wanted to hear the words. Pulling away from her, I waited for her eyes to open and really look at me. “Let’s go from here and talk, where we can really talk because I have a feeling that they are listening to every word.”
She giggled and agreed, telling me that I was right. I didn’t see her family, but there was a feeling that they were close at hand.
“Fine, but not for too long. It is going to be dark soon.”
I didn’t know what that mattered, but I figured it was something with her family and the rules. I had never been around anyone quite like them before and after spending an hour with the two that had made Eve, I felt like I knew more about her then I had all of the time we had spent together.
Taking her hand, I pulled her outside and started to take her to my car. She shook her head and instead wanted to go for a walk. It was not something that I wasn’t too used to doing, certainly didn’t walk very far in the city if I didn’t have to, but I would have followed her anywhere.
“Where are we going?”
“Just somewhere quiet and private. There are no secrets in this town.”
I chuckled. “Nothing like the city. Nobody knows each other there. You can do as you please and no one will even bat an eye.”
“It is not like that here. I just don’t think you understand Carlos. What are you doing here?”
She was starting to sound like a broken record and I knew that my answers just hadn’t been sufficient for her apparently. I was giving her more than I had ever said before and of course, to Eve it wasn’t enough.
“I am here to marry you Eve. If that is the only way I can have you, I want to marry you and take you home with me. I miss you Eve and it took you leaving for me to realize that.”
It wasn’t how I had wanted this all to go. In my head it had gone so much differently, but it was out and by the widened eyes I knew that she had heard me.
“What?”
I shook my head and stopped her with a kiss. “Marry me Eve. That is what I am here for. I am not leaving until you are my wife and you come with me.”
Eve’s face was shocked and I kissed her again, taking advantage of the moment. We were only a block from her house and kissing in the middle of the street as cars went by. Suddenly it didn’t seem like Eve was that worried about what others thought and I liked that. She was mine and the sooner she realized it the better.
“So where is this place that you said we would get some privacy?”
Finally that got her looking at me again and she had the same grin on her face as she had when I had come upon her naked in bed. It was a look that I was never going to forget and I was surely never going to get sick of. It just made me want her more than I ever thought was possible.
***
The place was unlike anything that I had been to. I was raised in New York and there were no places to really be alone. There was always someone there and awake. It was always that way and to be in the middle of the woods, under an old bridge that had once had trains running over it, was unlike anything that I had ever seen before. It was beautiful and like her, so unexpectedly what I needed.
“So this is where you would take your other boyfriends?”
Eve shook her head. “I have never brought anyone here before. This was where I would go to think for a while, without being observed and silently judged. Half of the town goes to the same church, the one my father give sermons at once in a while. This was my place to think of where I was going to go when I could finally get out of here.”
“But you came back.”
She still hadn’t really given me an answer either. Her mind was elsewhere, that much was clear and I desperately wanted it to go back the way I had steered her.
“I did because I wasn’t doing as well as I would have liked to. I would have liked to have done things differently.”
“Come back and we can do it together. The apartment is still open or you can move in with me.” At this point, I was willing to take whatever I could get. If she wasn’t ready to marry me, we could play house for a time until she was ready. Every part of me told me that she was already mine, so if I had to wait, I knew that she was worth it.
“Is that what you want, really?”
“I want you to be my wife Eve. Beyond that, I want to take you back to the city and live together.”
She blushed again, but still there was no answer on her tongue. I wanted to know what it was that she wanted. Eve hadn’t said much about the proposal. I hadn’t thought of that right off the bat, hadn’t prepared really, but it was enough to get on her mother’s good side. Eve of course wasn’t as easily swayed.
“I don’t know what to say Carlos.”
“Don’t say anything. I think we do better when we let our bodies talk.”
She shivered underneath me as I pushed her back onto the grass under the older overpass and there was just something about the way she looked at me that made me melt right then and there.
I was in heaven and like before, her hips lifted up to meet mine. It was a moment of need that I wasn’t going to soon forget. She wanted me as badly as I wanted her and that was enough. What I wasn’t too sure of was how I was ever going to let her go if she didn’t say yes.
“God, I love you Eve. I have never loved anyone in my whole life but you and I don’t want to live without you anymore.”
Her only response was a small gasp, as I pulled her body away long enough to pull her skirt up and her panties down. I liked the new attire that she was wearing. It was far easier to get into and more important than anything she was ready for me as before. There was no denying how wet she was, glistening in the sunshine perfectly.
“I see you have missed me.”
Even nodded and wrapped her legs around me before I could get rid of my own clothes. She was impatient, as she had been last time and before I could stop her, Eve had me pulled down and was looking up at me as if I was the one. I wanted to be the one for her and I slide inside quickly, giving her what it was that she needed. The only thing that I heard over the pounding in my ears was the sound of her pleasure, coming out as I slid deeper.
“I love you too Carlos. I think I have loved you since I woke up in your bed.”
Kissing her, I silenced her words, rocking us both to the point of madness over and over again. I just couldn’t get enough of her and even when she pushed on my chest, begging for a break, I couldn’t stop. I pushed her as far past her limit as she had pushed me.
“Please Carlos, I can’t.”
“Yes you can Eve. You are going to do what I want.”
Chapter 14
Eve
“Who would have thought that you would be getting married here? I wish I would have seen mother’s face when you told her. Was
she shocked?”
Shocked didn’t even start to explain how she had looked at me. I knew that Carlos had said something to her about it, but at the end of the day, it was still a surprise to hear it. Maybe she had thought that I would say no, but that was the very last thing that I had thought to do.
“Well she was definitely surprised, but she started crying almost immediately. You know how mom is.”
“Yeah, I do. When I told her that me and Barry were getting married, she had to have known it was coming, but she still wept every time she saw me for a week.”
“I don’t think I am going to be here that long, so she is going to have to get it all out at the wedding.”
My sister looked at me alarmed. “You aren’t going to stay here?”
I shook my head that I wasn’t going to. I had no intentions on staying here for another moment after we got married. I didn’t want to live there in that small town anymore. I had spent too much of my life there and when I told Constance that, I wished I had said it a better way.
“I didn’t mean it like that.” She was clearly offended and her feelings were hurt.
“What did you mean then? Do you really have nothing to stay around here for?”
“There is no work for me and Carlos owns two businesses in the city. I have to go. There is nothing for me here anymore. I don’t know if there ever was. I will miss you and our parents, but I will visit often. It is not that far away.”
Constance was watery eyed and she made me feel bad that I had made her that way. She was as bad as mom was about guilt and I felt guilty for even wanting to live somewhere else. I knew that it was what was best for me, but that didn’t really stop me from wanting to leave. I couldn’t live another person’s life anymore. It was time for me to live for myself and Carlos was my future. He was my destiny and wherever it was that he was, that was where I belonged. I understood that now, more so than I ever had before. Why couldn’t they be happy for me?