by DL Benning
Carol’s parents were so in love with each other. They would have dates and go to parties. Carol loved watching her mother get dressed and ready for nights out with her dad. Her mother was a beautiful woman—Carol got her red hair from her.
Carol’s father was a loyal employee and a foreman at the steel mill. He loved working there. Every summer, the family would attend the company picnic and spend the day in unbridled enjoyment.
Carol’s parents were older when they married, but that didn’t stop them from having a large family. They created four children in their first four years of marriage: Jimmy, Johnny, Janice, and Carol. Ten years after Carol was born, the family welcomed a little sister named Annette, whom they nicknamed Andi.
Growing up, Carol was a free spirit with lots of friends. Families were larger back then, and in a big family like Carol’s, there were plenty of sibling friends, too. She liked helping people and caring for animals. She tended to all the neighborhood animals—strays and wounded included—behind the family garage.
Carol had long, red hair that was always messy. She loved running and playing outside until it was time to come in for dinner. The family ate together every night, often listening to her dad tell them stories about the steel mill. Every now and then, he would tell the story about meeting her mother. The children always noticed a twinkle in his eye when the told that story.
Carol attended nursing school in Chicago and lived close to the hospital. Nursing school was hard work with long hours, but she loved it. She cared for patients like they were her family. She stayed in Chicago for a few months after graduation. Feeling homesick, she decided to move closer to her family.
St. James Hospital, located in nearby Ford Heights, offered her a job in the maternity ward. Even though the hours were 11 p.m. to 7 a.m., she accepted the offer. She needed a job and knew it would be a good one. She found a boarding house nearby with a bedroom for rent. It was a four-bedroom house with shared bedrooms for the renters. The house was owned by a widow who needed the rent money and enjoyed the company of the girls that lived there.
Carol’s schedule was different from that of everyone else who lived in the house. She worked all night. When Carol went home, she helped with housework, read, and—like she had done as a child—cared for animals. She looked after baby squirrels in a nest outside her window after their mother had gone, bringing them food and water until they were big and strong enough to fend for themselves. She was on a steady lookout for wounded animals as she walked her neighborhood, always wanting to care for any creature that needed her help.
After a few months, a spot on the day shift, from 7 a.m. to 3 p.m., became available. Carol applied for and got the position. St. James was a lovely place to work, and Carol felt fortunate to be employed there. On her breaks, she often visited the chapel to pray for her family, her patients, and her patient’s families. Carol felt at home at St. James and wanted to spend her career helping everyone who came through the doors.
Carol’s roommates were a lot of fun. They would laugh and tell stories and loved being together. For Carol, it was like having five more sisters. She even took them home to Indiana to meet her parents. The girls enjoyed going to Carol’s family home and seeing where she was from.
On Friday and Saturday nights, when they had some extra money, the girls would go to the local dance hall. The dance hall didn’t serve alcohol, but sometimes the guys would sneak some in to spike the punch. The girls would dress up in their new clothes, which Carol loved. Her favorite outfit was a turquoise skirt and tight black sweater, completed with turquoise-and-white suede shoes.
A live band played from the bandstand the night Carol met Fred. She was dancing and enjoying herself with her friends. Back then, she said, if the guys didn’t ask you to dance, you danced with your girlfriends. As she was dancing, she noticed a young, shy-looking man sitting alone near the dance floor. Their eyes met, and they exchanged a quick smile.
After a few songs, the girls sat down to catch their breath while the band took a quick break. They were laughing and teasing each other, while they fanned themselves to cool off from all the dancing.
The shy man cautiously approached Carol and her friends. He said quickly, “Hi,mynameisFred,” as if he might run out of courage otherwise. He politely extended his hand to Carol. She introduced herself to him and then introduced her friends.
There was an awkward silence. The band was heading back to play again. Shyly, Fred asked Carol if she would like to dance with him. She accepted. They slowly worked their way into the dance floor crowd. Carol noticed his uneasiness and smiled at him as if to say, “It’s okay. You’re doing fine.”
After a few songs, he asked if he could get her some punch. They talked most of the night. He was younger than she was but seemed nice enough. She saw him at the dance hall every time she went. He was always alone and always quiet. It would often take him hours to summon the courage to come over and talk to her.
One night, Fred asked Carol on a date. She reluctantly said yes. Carol was not sure about going out with Fred. After all, he was younger than she was and very shy. Fred, on the other hand, was excited about their date. He picked her up and brought her back for dinner at his mother’s house. Carol thought that this was a strange choice for a first date. It struck her as very odd when she saw how close Fred was to his mother. This was not the evening she had expected.
Fred and Carol had several other dates, most of them at his mother’s house. Fred’s mother would usually make a very simple meal. Fred and his mother would talk to each other as if Carol wasn’t even there. Carol liked that Fred was close with his mother, but something about their relationship didn’t seem right to her. She couldn’t shake an uneasy feeling she’d had since she noticed it on their first date.
Carol kept a journal—a diary, they called it back then. She would write about all her dates with Fred. They did have some good times together, and she had no other current suitors. So, this arrangement was okay for now. There was only one problem—Fred’s relationship with his mother seemed way too close. At times, Carol felt like she was dating them both. Carol was always polite and respectful, but she remained uncomfortable. She wondered how she could bring this up to Fred without upsetting him.
Fred’s mother was admitted to St. James Hospital for an emergency appendectomy. Carol recognized her but decided not to visit her room. She wasn’t sure Fred’s mother liked or approved of her relationship with Fred. Carol did notice that Fred visited his mother for several hours every day. He seemed very doting over her.
Fred and Carol celebrated their first Christmas together. They attended Christmas mass and then headed back to his mother’s house for dinner. Carol had told him she would like to go to her parents’ house for the holiday, but Fred refused. They would spend Christmas with his mother.
Fred did eventually accompany Carol to her parents’ home after the holidays. Carol’s family were all polite, but she could tell everyone was uneasy. They did not like Fred. Carol’s mother made a delicious meal of pot roast and potatoes. After dinner, her dad invited Fred and Carol’s brothers to join him for a drink while he smoked his pipe. Meanwhile, in the kitchen, the girls enjoyed each other’s company while they cleaned up. They were glad to be together for a family dinner, just like the old days.
On the ride home, Fred was extremely quiet. Carol asked what was bothering him. He said only that he was very tired. She let it go, and they drove the rest of the way back to Ford Heights in silence.
Fred was a perfect gentleman while they were dating. He always walked her to the door, kissed her goodnight, and left without any expectations of something more happening. About three months after they started dating, Fred walked Carol to the door for their usual goodnight kiss. This time, he hesitated. Carol wondered what was wrong.
He said, “Carol, I love you. I want you to be my wife.”
Carol swallowed hard. She was in complete shock and stuttered, “What? You want to marry me?”
&nbs
p; He smiled and looked deeply in her eyes as he reached for her left hand. “Yes, my dear Carol, I want to marry you. I have it all planned for us. We’ll have a small ceremony at the church and then take a honeymoon to Niagara Falls. When we get back to town, we’ll move you in with me and my mother. My sister is married now, and Mother needs looking after.”
Carol was flattered and slightly speechless. “Fred, I like you very much. I have enjoyed our time together, but it’s not the right time for us to be engaged.” She hoped she was letting him down easy. In her head, she thought, There is no way I am going to marry him and live with his mother! I don’t even love him.
She could tell Fred was very hurt by her rejection of his proposal, but he said he understood. She did not believe him. She did feel badly for him, but not enough to change her mind about marrying him.
After Fred left, Carol went upstairs and wrote about the evening in her diary. She liked Fred well enough, but she did not love him. She wrote for what seemed like hours. In her diary, she detailed the entire night: his proposal, her response, and how he reacted. The whole time Carol was writing, she felt like someone was watching her. She brushed the feeling aside and kept writing.
The next day, Fred stopped by and told Carol he couldn’t see her anymore. She was a little surprised to see him, but she said she understood and told him goodbye. He never looked at her while they spoke. She noticed his fists were clenched and held tightly against his sides. Carol knew he was hurt. She thought he seemed angry and a bit unstable too. It would be weeks before she’d hear from him again.
One night, Carol had to work late and needed a ride home. She didn’t have a car, so sometimes she’d get a ride from one of the other nurses. No one was available to give her a lift. Carol set out on foot instead. It was a nice night, and she didn’t live that far from the hospital. As she crossed the street, a car bumped into her. It was Fred. He looked like a crazed monster. He yelled at her to get into the car, but she refused. This infuriated Fred even more, and he tried to run her over with his car. Carol ran home, her heart racing the entire time. She made it home safely and went straight to bed without telling anyone what had just happened.
The next day, she went to work and came home with no problems. No sign of Fred anywhere. She kept looking over her shoulder, though—the car incident had left her shaken. Weeks went by with no contact from Fred. She thought he was gone for good. He had talked about going into the service one day, so she thought maybe he’d enlisted.
In the spring, Carol started dating George, a janitor at the hospital. He was handsome, strong, and a few years older than Carol. He was a little taller than Carol, too. George had the bluest eyes and blond, curly hair. He took her on nice dates—long walks, movies, dances, and picnics in the park. Best of all, he rarely talked about his mother.
Things were going well with George. After a month, she invited him to her parents’ house to meet her family. Unlike Fred, the whole family liked George immediately. He was friendly and engaged in the family’s conversations right away. George and Carol were getting serious very quickly. George even went to see Carol’s dad to ask for her hand in marriage.
The entire time Carol dated George, she had an eerie feeling that someone was watching her. It was the same feeling she had the night she turned down Fred’s marriage proposal. She even felt it at her parent’s house. Each time she pushed it away, joking to herself that she was becoming paranoid.
George liked being a janitor. He took his work seriously and hoped that one day he would be the head of maintenance. In addition to being strong and handsome, he was a terrific dancer. He and Carol frequented the dance hall and would dance all night long. Carol’s friends liked George, and he had plenty of friends of his own.
One night at the dance hall, Carol spotted Fred across the room. As usual, he was by himself, quietly watching all the dancers from the sidelines. Carol politely waved to him. Whether he didn’t see her, or he didn’t want to say hi, she couldn’t be sure.
After work one day, Carol stopped at the grocery store to buy some groceries for the dinner her landlady had planned for the night. Fred was also at the store. He said hello, and they talked for a few minutes. Carol asked about his mother. He said she was fine. It was a polite exchange, and then Fred went on his way. Carol felt Fred was acting oddly, as if he had done something wrong and was hiding it.
Carol and Fred would run into each other like this from time to time. Once, she was holding hands with George, walking home from a picnic in the park. When Fred saw them, he didn’t say a word. He just stared at the couple and stormed off, looking enraged. George asked Carol whether she knew that man, so Carol told him their story.
George instantly disliked Fred. He told Carol he did not have a good feeling about the situation. He thought Fred might be capable of hurting her. She laughed it off. But deep inside, Carol wondered to herself if George could be right.
As weeks went on, Carol started to bump into Fred more often. It seemed like they were on the same schedule. One night, he came to the boarding house and asked if they could talk. Seeing the desperation in his eyes, she reluctantly agreed.
They sat on the porch and talked for a few minutes. Fred asked her, “Why George and not me?”
Carol felt sorry for Fred. “I’m not really sure,” she told him. “It just didn’t feel right going to your mother’s every night.” Then she added, “And living with your mother after we’re married is not my idea of a good marriage.”
Fred jumped up. He was upset and started shouting, “I knew you never liked her! I knew you never liked my mother!” He ran down the porch steps and into the night.
After that conversation outside the boarding house, months passed with no sign of Fred. Carol was surprised, then, to run into him at the hospital. Fred’s relative was in the hospital. Or so he said. Carol said hello, and Fred asked if they could have coffee on her break. She told him she was too busy to take a break. In truth, she had nothing left to say to him. He left, disappointed, and she never saw him at the hospital again.
One rainy afternoon, Carol stood near the hospital exit, waiting for George to pick her up. He had agreed to give her a ride home from work. It was too wet to walk, and George didn’t want her to be out in bad weather. It was dark and rainy and difficult to see outside. Carol ran to the car as it pulled up, trying not to get wet. She got in through the passenger side door, and the car pulled away quickly. It took a minute for Carol to realize she had jumped into Fred’s car and not George’s.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you were George,” she said.
Fred told her he was passing by. He saw her waiting and wanted to give me a ride home.
Carol was nervous. A sick feeling filled her stomach. Trying to calm herself, she thought, Hey, it’s only a few blocks.
Fred drove by her street without slowing down. She told him he had missed the turn. Even as the words were coming out her mouth, he began to drive faster. Carol asked him to let her out. She could walk home. He kept driving and would not say anything. Then he turned onto a dark, isolated country road.
“Fred! What are you doing?” she yelled. She was getting really scared now. She could hear the urgency in her own voice.
Fred finally stopped the car and said he wanted to talk. He was talking but wasn’t making much sense. He kept saying he needed to talk to her, and he kept moving closer to her. Carol was frighted for her life. She began wondering why she had gotten into the car, why she had even allowed herself to be in this position. Why? Why? Why? Her mind was spinning.
Fred advanced toward her, even as she pushed him away. Fred told her he loved her. Why didn’t she love him? Why didn’t she love his mother? He didn’t wait for her answers. Fred told Carol then that she needed to come home with him. Mother wanted them both home.
Carol pushed him away again as he leaned on her, trying to kiss her. They struggled. She scratched and fought him for as long as she could, but Fred couldn’t be stopped. She screamed for her
life, but no one could hear her. Fred strangled her as he desperately tried to kiss her. He forced himself on top of her and raped her dead body. Then he dragged her body out of the car and rolled it into a sheet. He noticed her nurse’s hat had fallen off, so he pinned it back onto her head. He unpinned her name tag from her uniform. This he put into his pants pocket. Then he dragged her body into the dark, wooded area, where he covered it with leaves and branches. He ran back to his car and sped away.
But he didn’t go straight home. Instead, he drove back to the boarding house, where he snuck in through the front door. The landlady heard the door and yelled out, “Goodnight, Carol!”
Fred hesitated only for an instant, then raced up the stairs to Carol’s room. He quietly rummaged through her belongings, seeking a single prize: her diary. He had watched her write in it so many times and was curious about what she had written. He couldn’t find the diary but noticed a small, framed picture of Carol in her nursing uniform. He grabbed the photo on an impulse. Fred realized he had to get out of there quickly, lest he be discovered by someone. He left quietly. No one knew he was there.
In the meantime, George came to the hospital to pick Carol up from her shift. He waited for thirty minutes. He wondered what had happened. Maybe, he thought, she had to work later than usual.
Just in case, George drove by the boarding house to check on her. He could see from the street that Carol’s bedroom light was on. He decided it was too late to ring the doorbell and instead made his way home.
The next day, George looked for Carol at work. She was never late, so her coworkers were concerned. They asked him if she’s said anything about being late when he took her home the night before. George seemed surprised. He explained that he hadn’t driven her home. He had been running late; by the time showed up, she was already gone.
Two hours later, the nursing supervisor called Carol’s landlady. Would she mind checking on Carol? It wasn’t like her to miss work. The landlady went upstairs, thinking Carol might be sick. She came back to the phone to tell the supervisor that Carol wasn’t there, and that the room looked to be in order.