by Mia Kayla
Five hours later, when the doctor walked through the door, we all stood automatically. The air thinned with our worry, our whole lives held by the news he had for us. At any moment, he could drop the atomic bomb or allow our airways to open and breathe again.
When he smiled brightly, we all seemed to take a breath together. "The surgery was successful,” he said. “There were no complications, and he is in recovery now. Mr. Armstrong is going to be just fine."
There was a pause as if we needed to take it all in, then I was hugging my sister, my mom, kissing Nana's cheek. We were one big bubble of love.
My mother's arms were wrapped tightly around herself. "He's going to be okay?" Her fingers flew to her parted lips before she bowed her head and started to shake. "Thank God."
I was about to console her, do my job when Tene held up a hand for me to stop me in my spot with a tenderness in her eyes that wasn’t usually there. She placed a gentle hand on our mom's shoulder, and, when my mother lifted her head, Tene wrapped her hands around her. "He's going to be okay, Mom."
For the first time in a very long time, my mom openly wept, in front of us, in front of the doctor, in front of everyone, and in Tene's arms.
Chapter 27
My mother opened the door and plopped down on the passenger side without permission or apology or restraint.
"Drive," she ordered me.
I gritted my teeth. Usually, I’d be scared of her. Not today. Today, I felt indignant. Determination crept up my back and straightened my shoulders. I already knew what she was going to say, and there was no way in hell I was going to let her change my mind.
This was my life.
"Drive," she repeated, annoyance now adding to the anger.
When I didn't move, she said, "Do you want that man to see the mother that loves your boyfriend in the car with you? Do you, Angelica?"
My nostrils flared, my internal temperature rising.
Not that I cared about him seeing her. He knew I was telling them, after all, just a bit sooner than I intended. And obviously softening the blow was out of the question at this point. But I could handle this, on my freaking own.
"When I came to your apartment, and Roland said you were here, I would’ve never guessed this.” She laughed humorlessly, then shouted, “I said, drive!"
I gripped the steering wheel, keeping my cool as best as I could. I wanted to make sure this conversation was led on my terms, so I started the engine, pressed the gas, and said, "I left Roland, Mom."
I focused on the road ahead of me, and the air chilled with an eerie silence. My mother never stayed silent. Ever.
While she remained mute, I formulated every single word that I was going to say. With my mother, every word counted. I'd seen her twist Tene's words and use them against her. That was not happening to me.
I drove and drove. I didn't know where we were going, but I wasn't taking her back to my apartment or to Roland's where she would try to convince me I was making the biggest mistake of my life. I didn't know where I was going, but before I knew it, I was speeding down the road, windows down and wind blowing through her well-groomed hair.
The silence was deafening and almost too much to take. I broke the quiet first. "I'm not in love with Roland."
"I wouldn't be too sure of that," she said calmly.
Anger choked me, like hands around my neck, making it difficult to function, difficult to take my next breath. "You don't know how I feel. I'm tired of everyone telling me what to do, how to act, what to think." I slammed my hand against the steering wheel, so hard that my fingers tingled with pain.
"And you think that bartender is it? He's the guy for you?" Her voice was incredulous.
"Cade,” I said through my teeth. “His name is Cade." I turned to face her as the cars slowed down in front of us at a red light. I spoke coolly, controlled. "Yes. Cade is it for me. I want to be with him."
"You think he's even a tiny bit serious about you, Angie?” She pointed a shaky finger in my direction. “That's exactly how I know you're such a child.”
I pulled to the side of the road and jutted out my chin, my patience gone. "You need to tell me where to drop you off."
Her posture turned rigid. "I would’ve expected this from Tene. But this ... this shocks me. That you can easily fall for his advances."
"You don't know me at all. I didn't fall for his advances. I fell for him, Mother." My voice grew louder with each passing moment and conviction strengthened my resolve. "I love him because he believes in me. He lets me decide. He doesn't treat me like I'm a child, a wallflower. When I'm with him, I feel powerful and all woman and entirely in heaven because I'm so happy." I spoke with such truth, remembering how I felt this morning and every single time I’d been with him.
I added, my voice turning sad, "I haven't been this happy with Roland in ages. I don't remember a time where I wasn't taken for granted, Mom."
She looked at me, her mouth slackening. She regarded me for a second, and I begged her with my eyes to listen to me, her daughter. I had laid everything out on the table; I needed her to understand.
She seemed to come to some kind of resolution as she crossed her arms stubbornly over her chest. "You're not going to be with him," she said as if I were still a child and she was telling me I couldn’t have a second cookie.
I gripped the steering wheel, my knuckles white from the tension. "This is where I lead my own life. This is where I stop letting others dictate what my future holds."
She scowled. "And you think his future holds you in it? He's going to marry you?" Her laugh was cynical, crazy even. "He screwed a girl with a serious boyfriend. Yes, that's long-term material right there."
My cold eyes narrowed at her, and my breathing became ragged with impotent anger. I didn't have to explain our relationship to her. It wouldn't even matter that I’d broken up with Roland before anything physical had happened with Cade. She wouldn't be able to understand how we’d accidentally fallen in love with each other.
I met her stern gaze. If I wasn't absolutely sure about Cade, I would’ve backed down just by the look on her face. One look from my mother would burn a lesser person that wasn't as sure.
"He's it for me, Mother. I'm going to be with him with or without your approval."
Then her cool and calm façade faded, her eyes growing wide and her face reddened. "That's not what I wanted to hear, Angelica." Her tone was cold and lashing. "How much has Cade spent to set up here in Rosendell? I bet a fortune. I wouldn't want there to be any disruptions to his lease or anything like that."
I blinked at her. Was I really hearing her right now? Was she threatening his job, his restaurant? That's how I knew she was grasping for straws, at anything to use as leverage against me.
"He's signed a lease,” I said evenly. “We're contracted for another five years."
She nodded furiously. "Yes, that may be so, but that doesn't mean we can't make it a little difficult for him."
I threw my hands up in the air. "Why are you doing this? Why?"
"Because I want to secure your happiness." Her voice, her posture, her demeanor was resolute.
"My happiness or your status?" I threw back at her.
"How dare you?" Her nostrils flared. "As a mother, I do everything for you. Everything. I live for this family, Angelica. For your father. For you and Tene. Think about this. He's on to his new location in a month or two or three. Are you going to do long distance? I know this is exciting for both of you. You've been in a relationship with Roland for so long, I understand this is like a shiny new toy. But exciting doesn't last. Exciting is temporary and what you're left with is love ... true love. Love that endures. Look at your father and me. I love him. The excitement is gone, but with his heart surgery and all he's been going through lately ..." She choked on her last words and averted her eyes, hiding her vulnerability.
For a brief moment, I wondered if she had done it on purpose, used Dad to manipulate me. I wouldn’t think she’d stoop so low, but I w
asn’t sure I could put it past her at this point.
"Dad is going to be fine," I said softly. She’d hit a nerve. The one that connected to my emotions. My father.
"How do you think he's going to react to this, Angelica?” She dropped her lashes to hide the hurt in her eyes. “He adores Roland."
I looked away, knowing she was trying to guilt me into this decision. But she wouldn't change my mind. I wouldn't sacrifice my happiness just to fit into her mold of who she wanted me to be.
"He had trouble breathing today." Suddenly, her features were unguarded, and I knew she wasn't using this as a stunt to stop me. "He knows the whole family is on edge. He just doesn't want anybody to know."
Her head dropped to her hands, and all that was left were the raw sores of an aching heart. Automatically, I angled closer and placed a consoling hand on her shoulder. "Mom, what's wrong?" God, the world didn't revolve around me, and, as much as I was upset with her, my natural instinct to fix things and make it better pushed to the surface.
She glanced up, the hardness in her eyes gone. "They don't know if it's the meds that he's taking or if there is more blockage."
"What?" My heart pounded hard against my chest, like thunder booming in the sky. "What do you mean?"
She shook her head. "I don't know. They're running more tests tomorrow."
We sat there in silence, weighing what that meant. She peered up at me, and, with a sadness that I'd witnessed and seen before when it came to my father, she said, "Whatever you decide, you can't tell your father about you and Roland. He's in a fragile state right now." Her eyes begged me with an underlying desperation. "He worries about the two of you enough. He thinks he's dying tomorrow, so all he thinks about is you girls and of course ... me." The permanent lines etched on her forehead were evident. Long days of worrying about my father and Tene, and now I was added to her list.
I wanted to tell her I wasn't doing this to spite her and that I loved our family and upheld our values. That I hadn't meant for her to find out this way. But I wanted happiness for myself, and Cade Ryder made me happy.
"Mom." I tightened my hold on her hand. "He'll be okay." I wanted to believe my words, but there were never any guarantees. But still, I had to be strong enough for both of us.
She let out a long sigh, and the tension in her shoulders released. I watched the cars whiz past us as my car remained idle on the side of the road. Most people were heading to work, going on about their day, as though everything was right in the world while my life was in pure chaos.
Her eyes softened. "Please, Angie. Right now, you can't tell your father. He has a lot on his plate already. Please, just not now."
She was right. He'd eventually know, but not within the next few days. "Okay. But this is my decision, Mom, and I'm going to tell him eventually." I nodded once and squeezed her hand. "I want to go with you to the doctor’s office."
I stepped into my condo, walked into the living area and dropped my purse on the table by the couch. My legs gave out, and I sat on the couch thinking of all that happened today.
The doctor's visit should’ve lightened my mood, knowing what was going on with my father, but it only made things worse.
My problems were nothing compared to what my father was going through. My problems weren’t life or death.
The doctors deduced that it was the meds that he was on that was giving him shortness of breath. They had come to that conclusion after running multiple tests and determining his meds were the only thing that changed from his day-to-day.
The ringing from my phone broke me from my trance.
It was my mother.
She was a barely composed, broken mess by the time we were done with the doctor's visit. She didn't cry nor shed a tear. She functioned like a robot, mechanical, unmoving, not even daring to peer up at my father. And I knew it was because she didn't want to break down.
"Angelica?"
"Hi, Mom." Our relationship was at a high stress level right now, but she needed me. I'd already told her where I stood with Cade. I'd be here for the family, but I wasn't sacrificing my happiness in the process.
"I want to set up a dinner tomorrow night for the whole family, to cheer up your dad."
"I think that's a great idea." That's exactly what my father needed—a normal day out with his wife and kids without feeling like a cripple. "Did you want me to make reservations?"
"No, I'll just pick a place and let you know where tomorrow. And, Angie?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you for coming with me today." Her tone was soft, almost apologetic.
I let her words wash over me like a white flag being raised at the end of a war. "Of course, Mom."
We hung up, and I slouched on the couch, feeling all the weight of the day on my shoulders. And then I called Cade because I needed him the most.
Chapter 28
That night Cade had held me in his arms all night long, and everything in the air around me—the chaos, the worries—disappeared for just a moment. I snuggled in his arms and told him everything that had happened, from my mother to my father. By the time I was done, I fell asleep, emotionally exhausted. I hadn't slept so soundly in ages. I'd forgotten what it was to get a full night's rest. But the next morning, reality hit us both when we had to say our goodbyes and head out to work. That our time together before he left was dwindling down, and soon, seeing him every day would cease, and our moments together would be interrupted by the distance between us.
I walked him to his car, trudging like I was being forced off a cliff because I never wanted to leave him, and, as crazy as it sounded, I wanted to be with him with each waking second and sleep next to him each night.
"What's the sad face for?" he joked, glancing at me with a devilish grin.
"Do you even have to ask?" I pouted like a six-year-old. I never did the pouting thing. That was Tene's MO, not mine.
He leaned against his car and tugged at my waist. "Come here." He lifted my chin and locked eyes with mine. "You've had a rough few days. How about we have dinner tonight, and you come over for a movie and then chill?"
"Sex,” I added. “You're going to make my day better with sex." I lifted an eyebrow, "Movies and chill. And sex."
His deep chuckle warmed me from the inside out. "Now who has a dirty mind?" He pulled me in and pecked my lips. "But I'm all for that, too."
"Mmhmm," I sassed.
"Come in later tonight, right after the dinner rush, and we can do my version of movie and chill."
I almost groaned out loud. As good as that sounded, I couldn’t. "I have dinner later tonight with the family. Can I just come in before that?"
"Just come?" He tilted his head and rubbed his thumb over his bottom lip. "That sounds oddly familiar. You've never had to ask before."
I laughed at his dirty joke, and he gathered me in his arms and kissed me more deeply this time, lips closed, but boy did I feel him everywhere.
He was the first to break our connection. "See you later, Angel." Then he readjusted himself, and I knew he'd felt me everywhere, too.
I laughed and half-skipped to my car.
Shutting myself in the car, I flipped open the overhead mirror and checked my color-filled cheeks. Who needed blush when I had Cade Ryder to force color into my cheeks?
I shut the mirror and put the key in the engine. When my phone pinged with a text, my smile widened. It was Cade.
Just so you know, if I meant sex, I would’ve asked you to come over and eat cake ;)
I giggled, my blush reddening as I remembered my birthday night.
What would I ever do with this man?
The day passed in a blur. I called my dad and ran errands, and before I knew it, it was the evening, and I was running to Allswell. My family and I were meeting at Chef Everest, an Italian restaurant right on Elgin Avenue, not too far from Allswell, so I had decided I'd spend time with Cade before I had to rush to dinner.
But it wasn't Cade's face that greeted me as I pushed into the doo
rs of the restaurant—it was Tene's and Mom’s and Dad’s and Roland's parents and Roland, sitting in the same spot they’d sat in days ago for my horrible birthday party that had turned into a freak show.
Internally, my temperature rose twenty million notches as the hair on the back of my neck stood at attention like soldiers doing their drills.
For the love of God, what is going on?
Roland came charging toward me but stopped short at my scowl. I searched behind him for Cade, but he wasn't anywhere to be found.
"Everyone's here," I croaked.
He blinked at me, surprised that I didn’t know. "Yes, your mom invited me, and I wanted—needed—to see you. You haven't been picking up my calls." There was an undertone to his voice, a disdain in his eyes.
Did he know? I shook my head. There was no way my mother would betray me, not when she wanted me and Roland back together.
My sister’s whole face twisted as though she had eaten something moldy. I had texted her to tell her I was stopping at Allswell before dinner. Why would she sabotage me like this? It was so unlike her. Of all people, she was the last person who would do this to me.
He intertwined our fingers, and I tore my hold from his as the nightmare played on repeat. I hugged Nana and my father and said my standard greetings to Roland's parents.
I need to talk to Cade.
That was my first initial reaction. Before he witnessed this chaos firsthand, I needed to speak to him. I searched for him at the bar, but he was nowhere to be found.
Tene rushed to my side. "I swear on everything that matters," she whispered, "I did not do this. I tried calling you when I knew we were coming here. Why weren’t you picking up your phone?”
I groaned internally. My phone had died earlier, and I had it charging with my portable charger on silent in the bottom of my purse.
My sister’s voice heightened with hysteria. “Mom planned this dinner. She changed the location and moved up the time from Chef Everest to here, and ... She knows, doesn't she?" Her face turned frantic. "Oh, my god."