by Adam Graham
Zolgron cleared his throat. He held a large popcorn bowl, plopped on Dave’s abandoned chair, and set the popcorn on the end table. “Excuse me, but there’s time for that later, and I must ask for your full and undivided attention. The Robolawyer is going to be on television.”
“You have the worst timing, Zolgron,” Dave grumbled, glaring.
Naomi’s sweet husband glanced longingly at her.
Derrick and James came in and squeezed onto the couch with them.
The TV screen displayed Robolawyers rolling off the assembly line. A female voice said off-camera, “It researches, it files, and it can even assist with litigation. It’s the Robolawyer, the latest in 21st Century legal technology.”
Zolgron smirked. “More like 26th Century, if you were left to your own devices, provided the lawyers didn’t get an injunction against science.”
The voice-over continued. “Dorado Technology’s newest invention is receiving its initial release in the Seattle area, and it’s changing the legal world as we know it.”
The camera cut to a courtroom.
A prosecutor questioned a witness while the defense counsel reclined in her chair next to a Robolawyer. The voice-over continued. “See what happens when a prosecutor asks an inappropriate question.”
The Robolawyer spat out a piece of paper. The sleepy-looking defense attorney stood up and read. “Objection, irrelevant, prejudicial, and leading.”
The voice-over continued. “The Seattle Public Defender’s Office has bought six of the legal innovations and the acquittal rate is up five percent in the last month.”
Zolgron said, “Thus Robolawyer helps to free the innocent.”
“Or the guilty,” Naomi said.
The camera cut to an office equipment store window with a sign that read, “Robolawyer for Rent, $25 an hour.”
“Wesley Office Supply stores are renting out Robolawyers to help their customers prepare legal forms.”
The camera cut to a woman in a pink T-shirt. “I used mine to get the paperwork for my house done, so I didn’t have to hire a realtor.”
“Lawyers are embracing the new device as a tool in their arsenal.”
The screen cut to the smiling visage of Brent McCall. “I was going to hire a new legal assistant, but I bought a Robolawyer instead.”
The reporter continued her voice-over. “McCall is not concerned that he could be next to be replaced.”
McCall smiled. “The Robolawyer presents challenges to many types of attorneys, such as those in patents or real estate. When it comes to litigation, though, particularly on sensitive family issues, people are always going to want the human touch.”
Zolgron roared. “Arrogant poppycock.”
You’re one to talk about arrogance. Naomi grabbed the remote and turned the TV off. “It seems to me he’s right. The Robolawyers are only making people miserable. Carmela said my former employers are getting rid of their processing department and replacing them with a fleet of Robolawyers.”
“Progress.”
“You’re costing people their jobs. That’s not progress.”
“Henry Ford cost people jobs in the buggy whip industry. I’m forcing people with dead end jobs to find better ones. That’s hardly anything worthy of condemnation.”
What better jobs? They had a bad economy to start with.
Naomi scowled at the uber-illegal alien who’d hacked himself a green card and the false human identity that went along with it. “Henry Ford was from Earth. It was time for people on Earth to get motorcars. It’s not time for people on Earth to get super-intelligent Robolawyers. You interfered in the natural development of our society.”
“So?”
“That’s a violation of the prime directive.” Naomi covered her mouth.
That was what she got for watching three straight episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation.
“The prime directive is fiction,” Zolgron and Dave both said.
Her husband the hypocrite. “The principle is still sound.” She glowered at Zolgron. “Didn’t you get stuck as a cylinder for fifteen hundred years for thinking you were God?”
“I don’t want to rule your world, but I want to improve it if it’s going to be my home. Besides, you don’t seem to have any problem with it when the alien technology helps your family, including your Robolawyer.” He grinned and looked at Naomi’s arm.
He couldn’t know, could he? Naomi waved it aside. “That’s different. Helping us doesn’t change the whole world.”
“No, of course you should get to be favored. Seriously, why should you be the only family to benefit? I have so much to offer the world. It’s part of my service.”
“Honey, do you want to go for a walk?” Dave cleared his throat and glanced at Naomi with a pleading look.
“Sure, when I’m finished.”
Zolgron put up his left hand. “Regardless, I couldn’t stop the Robolawyers if I wanted to now. I sold the patent to Dorado Electronics.”
How could he be so careless? Naomi jumped up.
Dave touched her arm. They walked out of the house and half a block away. He hugged her. “Don’t let Zolgron get to you.”
“He’s just such a self-assured know-it-all.”
“What can we expect when he’s thousands of years old, has absorbed the entire Internet, and is a supergenius?”
Humility would be nice. Naomi sighed. “All I know is that he’s wrong. The whole Robolawyer thing is scary. I mean, imagine if all the lawyers were controlled by one company. You’d have one big corporation able to manipulate all sides.”
“Oh. Yeah, I see your point, honey.” Dave grimaced. “Let’s hope the technology doesn't fall into the wrong hands.”
Mitch Farrow sat at his executive desk in his corner office. In his inside pocket, his black cell phone rang. He punched a button on his Bluetooth ear piece. “Hello.”
“Pharaoh, this is Fournier. We just sold Robolawyer 1,004.”
“Splendid! I saw on TV that one belongs to Brent McCall. Would it be a problem for it to take Mr. McCall for a little ride while leaving him unharmed, at least temporarily?”
“Consider it done.” Fournier hacked. “Um, when do you want it done?”
“Let me check.” Mitch opened his iPad calendar. “I’ll be available to command the robot forces laying siege to the city and destroying Powerhouse at all cost at 4:15 p.m. tomorrow. Provided Dorado Incorporated’s Civic Improvement League meeting doesn’t run over, that is.”
Dead air.
“Hello?” Mitch glanced at the cell’s menu. Still on. “Fournier?”
“Sorry, sir. I was just curious if you understood the irony of that.”
Had no one ever heard of the Kingpin? Mitch chuckled. “If one more person asks me about that, I’ll scream.”
“My apologies for insulting your intelligence.”
“Just don’t do it again. I’ll see you tomorrow at 4:15.” Mitch hung up and slapped his phone on his desk.
He opened the top desk drawer and pulled out a Scotch flask. He raised it. “To Powerhouse. May you rest in many pieces.”
Mitch took a swig. Just one piece of personal business to handle.
Naomi yawned. The broom swept up the kitchen floor, the garbage can opened itself, and the dustpan flew to it and deposited its contents. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. She’d eliminated her housework, but she’d also eliminated her productive time, with the corporate side of things going slow. Maybe she should just use the powers for stubborn spots.
The doorbell rang. She looked at the broom. “You, get in the closet.”
The broom complied, with the dustpan following behind it. Naomi shook her head and raced to the door. She peered through the peephole.
Standing outside was a nearly skeletal woman with limp mousy brown hair and a little girl miniature of her. Both wore plaid skirts and pink sweaters.
“Rachel!” Naomi smiled and opened the door. She hugged her new friend briefly then knelt down and g
ave the little girl a hug. “It’s good to see you, Rosie.”
“Thank you,” the child whispered.
Naomi waved them in. “I thought you couldn’t afford to buy a bus ticket?”
“My ex-husband decided to give me some extra money.”
“What?” Naomi gaped. “I thought he was a deadbeat?”
“Oh, it was a total reversal, dearie, but I’m not one to complain. He sent me $300, so we could come and visit, which doesn’t seem necessary unless we’re spending a few nights in the Holiday Inn.”
Naomi smiled. “Thank God, but you shouldn’t have to be begging him for bus fare. He should give you enough to do whatever you want rather than sticking by the old agreement when he didn’t have any money. Perhaps you should take him back to court?”
“That’d be too ungrateful. He is taking care of our rather steep medical bills.”
“I’ll put on some tea.” Why had that jerk Farrow decided he wanted his ex-wife to visit the Christian Facebook friend of hers who lived fifty miles away from Seattle?
Major Speed tried to move his arms. Someday, he’d be able to do it.
His tormenter tapped her black-heeled boot.
The door creaked open. In walked a sickly, skin and bones girl who was a full six inches shorter than his tormentor. The new girl’s fizzy auburn hair was cut three inches above her shoulders, twice as long as his tormenter’s hair. This doe-eyed girl wore a pair of blue medical pants and a speckled shirt.
She waved at his tormenter. “Hey, got your call, Precious.”
The beast slapped the truly precious girl. “How many times have I told you? My name is Deathwish.”
“Okay, DW.” The true Precious cringed.
“Since you have no job, life, or any social value, and you’re a complete loser, I’m willing to help you out by letting you take care of this old man.”
“But DW, I’m only a nurse’s assistant, not an RN. I can’t really handle being a full-time caregiver.”
DW stiffened, smacked her lips, and rolled her eyes. “You’re an unemployed nurse’s assistant! You’ll take whatever job you’re given and you’ll like it. My girl and I are hitting the road in an hour. So either I leave this guy to starve or you take the job. What it’s gonna be, little girl?”
“Okay.” Precious hung her head.
“That’s my girl.” DW slapped Precious’s backside hard. “This is simple. Change the IV bag every twelve hours to keep him hydrated and nourished. Give him his meds every morning. Mix those with his first IV.” She reached into her pocket. “He’s got a list of TV programs he’s to watch sixteen hours a day. Oh, and you’ve got to change the bedpan. I know you’re an artist at that. Think you can handle it?”
“Um, I’ll try. How long will you be gone?”
“However long I want.” DW laughed. “You haven’t had a date since before the Sonics left town, so I don’t suspect that’ll be a problem.”
“Okay, how much do I get?”
“You get to eat for free and to sleep on the cot I’ve been using. I’ll send you $150 a week.”
“Okay.”
The witch made an L-shaped sign on her forehead. “I’ll catch you later.”
She made another odd gesture with her hands and left.
Precious walked over to Major Speed. She stared at the headboard. “Hi, Mr. Smith. My name is Karen. I hope we can be friends.”
Wow, a girl with a normal name as well as an actual feminine voice.
She examined his face and gasped. “Oh you poor thing! How’d you get those burns? I’ll take care of those.”
The sweet girl ran off to the medicine cabinet.
God, Karen is the first decent person I’ve run into in this time. Thank you for giving me hope. Another corpse exploded across the TV screen. I could use it.
Powerhouse and Captain France sat at a table in the latter’s restaurant near a window. Powerhouse took a bite of French bread. “We’ve been here a couple hours, and we still can’t agree.”
Captain France waved. “Ze plots you come up with are too pedestrian to introduce moi as a great hero.”
“We could have an attack of brain-eating aliens.”
“Done to death.”
Powerhouse snapped his fingers. “Islamic terrorists.”
“Controversial.”
Powerhouse sipped his water. “Captain, we’re not coming up with anything. I’ve got to get home unless you have an idea soon.”
Captain France gasped. “Mon dieu. A squad of robots is heading straight toward us.”
“Talk about done to death.” Powerhouse laughed.
“No, look!”
Powerhouse glanced out the window.
Half a dozen Robolawyers marched down the street. Energy weapons protruded from their shoulders. They fired at parked cars and buildings.
“This looks like a job for Powerhouse. I’ll head out the back, so I can fly down and get the machines from behind.” He ran through the kitchen, fled out the back, and flew up in the air.
After a quarter of mile, he flew up behind the Robolawyers. Now to just imagine them gone. One of the six disappeared, but his head throbbed. For some reason, his super-imagination wasn’t working right. Time for plan B.
He swooped down, landed, and grabbed one of the Robolawyers by its leg. It writhed as he spun it around and flung it into its three compatriots with the full force of his superstrength. On impact, the three robots went flying through the air. Powerhouse grasped tighter to his titanium robot-shaped bat.
The two remaining Robolawyers aimed and fired. Their energy weapons slammed into the captive Robolawyer.
It exploded in Powerhouse’s hands.
He sailed through the air like a bullet and landed a hundred yards away in front of a bicycle shop. His head ached. Good thing he had a helmet.
The robots began to close in.
Powerhouse’s legs and back throbbed. He struggled to his feet.
A muffled, distorted voice came from one of them. “Powerhouse, this is the Pharaoh. Today you will die at the hands of my Robolawyers.”
“Not likely, villain. Powerhouse away!” He visualized the ignition on his rocketpack engaging. Its engine remained silent and cold. His head ached. Somehow they’d blocked the power of his super-imagination.
Drat. Now what? Powerhouse grabbed a light pole and swung it like a sword. The Robolawyers dodged his swings and fired an energy beam at him.
Powerhouse threw the light pole in the way. It blocked the blast, once again throwing him to the ground in front of an alley. He stared up.
Two robots drew to within a few feet.
He glanced behind him at a dead end with a wall that rose twenty feet high. A chill seized his heart. Those Robolawyers would cut him down before he could make it over the wall.
The Pharaoh’s voice boomed. “Now, you will die.”
Chapter 9
Captain France to the Rescue
“I think not,” Captain France boomed from behind the Robolawyers.
Powerhouse grinned as his friend picked one Robolawyer up with each hand and slammed the six-foot beasts together.
He extended his hand to Powerhouse. “Mon ami.”
“You saved my life!” Powerhouse hopped up.
Captain France waved as he led Powerhouse out of the alley. “It’s nothing for ze great Captain France.” He looked in the sky. “More are coming.”
Uh-oh. Powerhouse turned. Hundreds of Robolawyers were flying like a swarm of bees.
“Let us make haste, mon ami.”
“Agreed.”
Powerhouse dashed down the streets of Seattle side by side with Captain France for two blocks before darting in front of Captain France. “We need to draw them away from traffic.”
He kept his speed within normal human limits. He couldn’t go too fast or he’d lose Captain France. Alone, the enemy would could pick off either one of them easily.
The Robolawyers closed. They rained down bullets.
; Pings blared as the bullets bounced off Powerhouse’s armor like bugs off a windshield.
Captain France hid behind a building several hundred yards in front of the swarm.
Powerhouse dashed over to Captain France. “Are you okay?”
“Oui, but not for long. My suit is not bulletproof.”
“Mine won’t hold up forever either.” Powerhouse looked behind him. “A manhole cover. We can go into the sewer.”
Captain France frowned “What is it with you American heroes and ze sewer? You stereotype ze French as stinky, but we don’t go in ze sewer.”
“Either the sewer or the Robolawyers.”
“Neither.” Captain France eyed the sign on a warehouse. “Let’s run into ze warehouse and bar ze doors. I, Captain France, have a plan.”
Naomi’s cell phone rang. She peeked at the caller ID. Carmela. She smiled at her two guests seated beside her on the couch, Rachel and her cute little Rosie. “Sorry, this should be just a second.” Naomi flipped open her cell phone. “Hey Carmela. Guess who’s here!”
“Naomi, are you watching TV?”
“Should I be?”
“Powerhouse is in trouble.”
Oh no. Naomi searched for the TV remote, grabbed from between the loveseat cushions, and pressed the On/Off button
On the TV screen, the anchor said, “For those of you just joining us, the latest office wonder from Dorado Industries, the Robolawyers, ran amuck at 4:20 p.m. this afternoon, attacking legal secretaries, and reportedly kidnapping a prominent attorney. The Robolawyers ran out of law offices, courtrooms, and rental stores across the city, wreaking havoc. Unbeknownst to buyers, the Robolawyers possessed superhuman strength and also came with anti-gravity propulsion and mounted laser cannons. Dorado Industries denies any knowledge of these enhancements.”
The TV screen cut to an image of Powerhouse and a guy in a Batman costume missing the ears. They stood in front of some warehouses.