by Kate Field
The Howards hadn’t forgotten her either. Bea sent her regular messages, checking how she was and whether she was eating enough cake. Lia bombarded her with several texts each day and telephone calls that tore Mim between laughter and sadness. Then, when Mim had been in Lancashire for almost eight weeks, Lia surprised her with a video call one Saturday morning.
‘Hello! Isn’t this a surprise?’ Lia’s smiling face filled the telephone screen. ‘I absolutely had to see your reaction when I told you my news.’ Lia frowned and she appeared to be studying the screen at her end. ’Darling, what is that ghastly thing you’re wearing? Ros didn’t give you that.’
‘It’s my uniform for the chippy,’ Mim said. She’d managed to get a job in a fish and chip restaurant, which would have been good news if it didn’t bring back so many painful memories of the Easter swim with Corin and the sight of him in a wetsuit. She waved the phone up and down so that Lia could see the full effect. ‘Be glad you can only see and not smell it. I don’t think I’ll ever be free of the stink of grease and vinegar again.’
She laughed and Lia wrinkled her nose.
‘Can’t you find a better job?’ Lia asked. ‘You would look so pretty on the reception desk at a luxury hotel.’
‘I’m still working on it. Until I’m offered that job, I’ll make do with the ones I have. It’s not just the chippy. I clean a couple of B&Bs and work a few nights in a bar as well. I’m lucky to have found so much work. There’s no time to be bored.’
‘Oh darling, that sounds beastly. When do you have time for fun?’
‘The bar can be fun. It’s not quiet like the Boat. You should see some of the hen and stag parties we have coming in. You wouldn’t believe half of what goes on.’
‘I think I’d rather go to the Boat,’ Lia said with a grimace. Mim had to agree. Working in the bar in Blackpool made her feel horribly old. Every night she had to stifle the wish that she was leaning on the bar in the Boat, sharing a beer with Corin.
‘Anyway, what’s your news?’ Mim asked, shaking off that image. She was trying not to think about Corin but it was harder than she had ever imagined. Reminders of him popped up everywhere. ‘Where are you? I can see lots of trees behind you.’
‘That’s the wrong question.’ Lia laughed. ‘You should have asked who I’m with.’ Lia swivelled round and stretched out her arm so Mim could see more of the background. Bobby was there and as Mim watched, he walked behind Lia and put his arms round her. He gave a sheepish wave to Mim. Mim gaped at the screen.
‘There.’ Lia grinned. ‘I knew you’d be surprised, darling. Isn’t this the most utterly glorious news?’
‘Yes.’ Mim laughed. ‘It really is. Are you going out now?’
‘This is our first official going out date.’ Lia brought the phone nearer to her face and winked. ‘There may have been a couple of staying in ones already.’ She zoomed out again and Mim was sure she could see the blush on Bobby’s cheeks. ‘We’re going for a walk and having a romantic picnic.’
‘A walk?’ Mim repeated. It didn’t sound likely. ‘What have you done with the real Lia, Bobby?’
‘This is her,’ he said. ‘She’s even bought new walking boots.’
The phone pointed down briefly to show Lia’s feet wearing what were clearly a new pair of expensive boots. That sounded more Lia.
‘This is all thanks to you, darling,’ Lia said. ‘I’m so happy I could literally burst.’
Mim couldn’t doubt it. Neither Lia nor Bobby had stopped smiling yet.
‘I need to return the favour,’ Lia continued. ‘Everyone should be as happy as we are. When are you going to come back and see Corin?’
‘Corin?’ Mim repeated.
‘Now, remember I said you were the only one who didn’t treat me like an idiot?’ Lia laughed. ‘He’s moping down here. He rarely smiles and he hasn’t teased me once. Even Dickens is better company. I never thought I’d say this but I miss my irritating big brother. Don’t deny that there was something between you because it was obvious to everyone – even to me, and you know how utterly self-absorbed I am. You were made for each other. And if you’re with him, you get me as a real sister, and wouldn’t it be worth putting up with him for that? Come home, darling. We all miss you and want you back.’
‘Are you happy here, Mim?’ Carol asked, as they sat in the garden a few days later, enjoying a glass of wine. It was Mim’s night off from the bar and she’d hoped to catch up with Lucas, but he had gone out with friends. Their working hours weren’t proving compatible. Mim spent all weekend in the fish and chip restaurant when Lucas was off and on the nights when Mim was free, he was usually out with mates or with his girlfriend. It wasn’t how she’d expected it to be but his life had been established here long before he knew about her and she supposed she had to fit around it where she could. She was here with him, available if he needed her, and that was what mattered.
‘Yes,’ Mim replied at once. ‘Of course I am.’
Carol laughed.
‘Now give the question a moment’s thought and let me have your answer,’ she said. Mim smiled.
‘It’s the same. I love getting to know Lucas. Everyone has been kinder and more welcoming than I could have hoped.’
‘We love having you here,’ Carol said. She topped up their glasses. ‘Don’t take this the wrong way, will you? I’ve sometimes wondered if you’re missing Devon more than you admit.’
‘Who needs Devon when we have gorgeous weather like this?’ Mim asked, pointing at the perfect blue sky over their heads.
‘What about the people?’ Carol was being annoyingly persistent and didn’t fall for Mim’s attempt to change the subject. ‘When you were telling me about your conversation with Lia, you were different. You lit up. You do miss them, don’t you?’
‘Yes.’ Mim sighed. ‘I’m sorry. That seems ungrateful, doesn’t it? I don’t regret the decision to leave. Getting to know Lucas, and you, has meant everything to me. I do want to be here.’
‘But you want to be there too?’ Carol smiled. ‘What about the man you keep mentioning? Corin. Do you miss him too?’
‘I don’t keep mentioning him, do I?’ Mim asked. She’d thought she had that under control by now. Obviously not.
‘Only once or twice a day. Was he your boyfriend?’
‘He was a friend. A good friend.’ Mim looked at Carol. She hadn’t tried to mother Mim, like Bea had, but they had become close, and the temptation to confide in her was irresistible. She leaned forward. ‘Before I left Devon, he said he loved me, but I didn’t know if I felt the same. I’ve not had much experience of love. I don’t know what it feels like. How are you supposed to know?’
Carol reached across and squeezed Mim’s hand.
‘How does it feel to be away from him now?’ she asked.
‘Horrible,’ Mim admitted. It was a relief to be honest, with herself as much as with Carol. ‘I keep hoping he’s going to wander into the bar, in a woolly jumper full of holes and with his dog at his side. I think of things to tell him but he’s not there. My chest feels all heavy and crushed when I think about him. It’s like there’s something missing – a gap where he used to be.’
Like a piece of her world was missing… Bea’s words about Bill echoed in Mim’s head. She’d thought that Lucas was the missing piece, but if that were the case, why did she feel this physical ache, as if she’d been wrenched away from an essential part of her being? Unless… She emptied her glass. Had she made the biggest mistake of her life?
‘That sounds very much like love to me. It was how I felt when Martin died. How I still feel,’ Carol said. ‘I’d give anything to have more time with him. Don’t you want to be with Corin?’
‘I can’t.’
‘Do you mean because of Lucas? You don’t have to live in the same house as him to be a good sister. You don’t even have to live in the same county. That’s the beauty of family. He’ll be your brother wherever you are and whatever you do. He has his own life. You’re
allowed yours too.’
‘But wouldn’t Dad have wanted us to be here together? I don’t want to let him down.’
‘He would have wanted you to be happy, that’s all. And he would have been so proud of who you are, Mim. You could never let him down.’ Carol took Mim’s hands in hers. ‘Your dad lived and died full of regret over what he’d missed. Please don’t do the same.’
Should she stay or should she go? It was the same dilemma, only this time it was the opposite way round as she tried to decide whether her future lay in Lancashire or Devon. She hadn’t expected to make the decision again; she’d been determined to make it work in Blackpool, whatever it took, and she’d given it her best shot. But Heather had told her to listen to her heart and she couldn’t ignore what it was saying any longer. Bea’s words about Bill echoed in her thoughts. Mim had lived without money, lived without a roof over her head, but this challenge had defeated her. She couldn’t live without Corin.
She dreaded telling Lucas after he had made such an effort to find her. She waited until they both had a free evening and invited him to the local pub. They were on their second round of drinks before she plucked up the courage.
‘There’s something I have to tell you,’ she said, clutching her pint glass in both hands. This was even harder than she had thought. What if he hated her for leaving him, after such a short time? ‘I have to go back to Devon. I’m sorry.’
‘You’re moving back?’
‘Yes. I know I agreed to live here and I’ve loved staying with you and your mum, don’t think I haven’t, and I hate to be letting you down, but…’ Mim stopped. Lucas was grinning at her, which wasn’t the reaction she had expected.
‘It’s because of Corin, isn’t it?’ Mim nodded. Lucas grinned even more widely. ‘I knew he was your boyfriend.’
‘He isn’t…’
‘It was obvious to me that something was going on and I only met him twice.’
‘Obvious to you and everyone except me.’ Mim laughed. ‘I really am sorry. You’re still going to hear from me all the time, though. You’re stuck with me. And if you ever fancy starting a new life in Devon…’
‘No, I’m settled here. I wouldn’t say no to a few free holidays, though. I’m saving up to move in with Jessie as soon as we can afford it.’ He smiled. ‘Don’t look so guilty. I’m glad I found you. You’re all right.’
Everything was going to be okay. Mim couldn’t stop smiling. For years, she’d wanted to be part of a family more than anything in the world; now she had two, one created with blood, and one chosen with love. She was luckier than she had ever thought possible. She was sad to be leaving Lucas but it didn’t compare with the devastation she had felt when driving away from the Howards. And the sadness couldn’t survive against the overwhelming excitement of seeing Corin again. She remembered the moment he had said he loved her – the dizzying sense of hope and possibility – and it all came flooding back. She couldn’t wait to be with him.
She drove back to Devon at first light on a Friday morning in early August, trying to avoid the holiday rush. She ticked off the signs as she had done on a dark winter’s evening seven months ago: Birmingham, Bristol, Exeter… Despite the toil of a long and busy journey, her heart swelled as she pulled on to the country lanes she had come to know so well, noticing how green everywhere had become in her absence, and how the hedgerows danced with flowers. She knew beyond all doubt, as she drove down the hill into Littlemead and saw the sea glittering in the distance, that she had made the right decision. This was where she belonged.
She wasn’t sure of her welcome at Vennhallow, despite Bea’s words when she left, so she parked in the village car park, grabbed her bag and set off along the coastal path towards the caravan field. The sun was already warm and she stopped to catch her breath at the top of the hill. She would never tire of this view. This was the seaside she loved and that filled her heart with joy.
There was activity around the caravans: a couple of young children were chasing each other through the field and outside the accessible caravan a man in a wheelchair and his companion were eating breakfast. There were no signs of life at Mim’s former home and the sign bearing her name still hung from the veranda, so she unlocked the door carefully and peered in, wary of disturbing anyone inside. The place was empty but spotlessly clean, and a vase of fresh flowers sat on the table, which was a mystery; she hadn’t told anyone she was coming back. She locked the door again and set off across the lawn towards Corin’s house.
She was only halfway when she saw him, striding across the grass with Dickens scampering at his side, just as she had pictured him so often during the lonely hours in Blackpool. The moment he saw her was obvious. He froze and then he ran towards her, scooped her up in his arms and swung her round. If she hadn’t already been sure she loved him, the expression on his face would have sealed it. As Lia might have said, he looked as if he might literally burst with happiness. And it was all for her, Mim Brown. That look of love was for her and it was unbelievable and magical and something she wanted to see every day for the rest of her life.
‘I love you,’ Mim said, when he put her back on the ground. ‘Sorry it took so long to get there.’
He laughed and kissed her and it was the best kiss in the world.
‘What are you doing here?’ he asked. ‘How did you get here? Why didn’t you let us know?’ He smiled. ‘No. Don’t answer any of that. Tell me again what you said.’
‘That I’m sorry for taking so long?’
‘The other part.’
‘I love you.’
He kissed her again, for longer this time. Mim was about to say it a third time to see what would happen when he took a step back.
‘Are you staying?’ he asked.
‘I was going to but is someone else using the caravan? It’s been cleaned and there are flowers in it.’
‘They’re for you.’
‘But you didn’t know I was coming.’
‘I’ve put flowers in it since you went away, in the hope you would come back.’
Mim couldn’t reply to that. Love was proving to be the strangest thing. She didn’t know from one second to the next whether she wanted to laugh with utter joy or cry her eyes out. Corin grasped her hand.
‘Come to the house,’ he said. ‘I have something for you.’
That sounded intriguing. Mim stole another kiss and let him lead her to his house. There was an overnight bag and a box of Dickens’s belongings in the hall.
‘Oh,’ Mim said, dropping her own bag to the floor. ‘Have I interrupted? Were you going away?’
‘Yes. I was on my way to Lancashire.’ He slid an arm round Mim’s waist. ‘I’ve spent the last few weeks thinking about what I have and what I want. About what you might want. And then when Lia said that you were moping, I knew I had to try again.’
Moping? Mim suppressed a smile. Clearly Lia had been hard at work.
‘You were coming to see me?’ she asked. She grinned. ‘Have I ruined your grand gesture? Try it now and let’s see how you get on.’
He pulled her closer.
‘I was going to tell you about some changes to the family business. We’ve agreed that I’ll job share with Lia. She’s done fantastic work with As You Like It. We’ll both run the business when Dad retires.’
‘So you can carry on fossil hunting? That’s brilliant. I know how much you love it.’
‘I love you more,’ Corin said. ‘I’ve done this so we can split our time between Devon and Lancashire. I know you want to be with Lucas and I want to be wherever you are.’
He was going to do that, for her? Mim discovered another strange thing about love. It didn’t have any limits. Her feelings for Corin just kept growing.
‘That’s lucky,’ she said. ‘Because I want to be wherever you are. But you don’t need to give anything up for me. I’m moving back to Devon.’
‘For good? Are you sure? Lucas…’
‘Is a grown man and doesn’t need me watchi
ng him all the time. He’s looking forward to holidays down here as often as he can.’
Corin studied her, as if deciding what to do next. He smiled. ‘I think it’s definitely time for this.’ He went into the bedroom and Mim followed, laughing.
‘So this is what you meant when you said you had something for me… Smooth work, Dr Howard.’
‘It wasn’t. But hold that thought.’ Corin smiled at Mim in a way that made it difficult to think of anything else. He opened a drawer in a cabinet that sat under the window. It was empty. Corin took Mim’s hand. ‘This is for you. I want you to feel that you belong here. I want you to know that this will always be your home. This is for your emergency box, when you’re ready.’
Here came the tears again, hot on the heels of the laughter. Mim was undone. He understood her. He knew who she was, what she was, and what she needed. Everything she’d been through over the last thirty-four years had led to this moment and made it more precious than she could ever say.
‘I know it’s not much,’ Corin said, when Mim didn’t speak. She shook her head.
‘It is. It’s the Taj Mahal.’ She squeezed his hand and he answered with a smile that brought more tears. ‘Are you asking me to move in with you?’ she asked. ‘Just so we’re clear?’
‘I’m asking you everything. Move in with me. Marry me. Let’s make our own family.’
‘Are you sure you’re up for that?’ Mim asked, wiping away her tears. ‘Your children might have common northern accents.’
‘I’ll risk it if you’ll take the chance that yours might have posh southern ones.’ He smiled. ‘I love you, Mim. Nothing else matters.’
Mim leant against him and studied the cabinet. Some might see an empty drawer, but to her it was already full of everything she’d always wanted: love, understanding, security. Corin was solid and warm at her side, promising the future she had never dared to hope for, and there was only one possible response. She collected her emergency box from her bag, and emptied the contents into the drawer.