by Dawn Martens
I’m about to make my way back over to Layla when I notice a man invading Layla’s personal space, putting his hands on her. I see Chase walk back into the bar after heading out to take a call. Instantly, the atmosphere in the room gets thick. I pull Layla away as Chase charges over, and starts to beat the shit out of this guy. Kade and James pull Chase off of the man, and after Chase cools down a little, Layla and he go home. Kade grabs my hips and pulls me into him as I try and walk back into the bar. “We’re going home.”
“Can you just take me to my house? I’ll get my mom to swing me by tomorrow to grab my car.”
“No, it’s too far away. You can just sleep in Layla’s room,” he says with a small grin.
“Right, like I’m supposed to trust that you won’t try anything with me,” I mumble to myself.
“For fuck's sake, Nikki, I’m not even like that. I want more with you. Yes, the sex is amazing, but I want all of you.”
He stomps off and James comes over to me and pulls me into his side. “I think Kade is more pussy whipped than Chase,” he says with a twinkle in his eyes.
With that, we both burst out laughing.
I hop into the Hummer and we head to Chase’s place. I go into Layla’s room and once I hear both Kade and James close their doors I do a detour. I head out to my car, jump in, and drive home.
KADE
I have never in my life been rejected by a woman before and I find that I don’t like the feeling. Nikki has been avoiding me, dodging my calls, and not coming over to visit. I even went to her class twice, but she wasn’t there- she always managed to leave early. I’m turning into a fucking stalker. I sigh, and run my hands through my hair in frustration. Nikki is the first girl I’ve ever considering something more permanent with and she doesn’t want me. The rejection burns.
After a week of her ignoring me, I’ve had enough. I’m sitting in my favorite bar having a drink. The place is quite shabby looking, battered leather stools, an old pool table, and it’s occupied by rough looking bikers. My gaze takes in the room and I cringe when I see three girls I’ve already had. Definitely can’t bring Nikki here. The thought of her causes me to take a huge swig of my scotch. I brought Layla here once. She stuck out like a sore thumb, it was funny as hell. A few of the men asked about her and I had to tell them she was not fucking available.
Liam, the bartender, pours me another drink. Liam is in his forties, salt and pepper hair, with a muscular build. No one messes with him. I haven’t been here in a while. I’ve been too busy chasing after Nikki. Here I am though, back at my bar, feeling sorry for myself; never thought I'd see this day. A few drinks later, I’m playing pool, pressed against some woman named Kelly. I even remembered her name- see how mature I’m getting? She's completely stacked with a body I’d like to get to know better.
“Wanna get out of here?” she purrs into my ear seductively, giving the lobe a little nibble.
Why the fuck not? We jump in a cab, because let’s face it; I'm way too drunk to drive. We rush from the cab into the house, stumbling slightly now and again. I open the front door and lead her straight to my bedroom. Our clothes are thrown messily on the floor and for an instant I hesitate. The face of a fiery redhead flashes in my head. I shake my head, getting rid of the image. Nikki doesn’t want me, but this woman does and I’m going to please her.
I wake up the next morning, not feeling satisfied, but feeling like complete shit. I shouldn’t have done this. I know Nikki and I aren’t together or anything, but it doesn’t feel right. I walk into the kitchen and make myself a strong cup of coffee. I hear the front door open; James must be home.
“Hey, Kade?” I hear Nikki say softly.
Fuck.
NIKKI
Kade has been calling me almost every day, but I have nothing to say to him, so I don’t answer. The truth is, I’m terrified. I’ve always had the upper hand with the men I get involved in, but not this time.
In the last week Kade has stopped calling, and I’ve realized how much of a dumb ass I’ve been. Time to man up, Nikki, or so to speak. I am going to visit him.
“Hey Kade,” I mumble as I walk into Layla’s house. Kade narrows his eyes on me silently. He's leaning against the kitchen table, bare-chested while pouring himself a cup of coffee. He looks edible.
I clear my throat. I feel so vulnerable right now, and it's taking all of my will power not to run. But I want Kade, I want this. So I need to suck it up.
“Layla’s not here,” he deadpans.
“I know, actually I wanted to talk to you,” I tell him in a soft voice.
He raises his eyebrows.
“I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you, the truth is…” I trail off. The truth is after a week of thinking, running, and hiding, I have decided I want this man. I want to take a chance on him. He’s not Ben. And I’m sick of being a coward.
“The truth is, I’m scared, Kade. But I want to try, I want you,” I say as I walk up to him, and wrap my arms around his waist.
“If you still want me?” I whisper in a soft voice.
His arms tighten around me. “Fuck, Nikki,” he says in a hoarse voice.
“Kade, come back to bed,” a high pitched voice coos from behind us. Kade’s fingers dig into my skin, and his whole body stiffens.
I turn, and see a half-naked woman walk out, only in her bra and panties. It takes me a moment to realize exactly what’s going on. It’s not like I expected Kade to be celibate, but, well, fuck. I don’t know what I thought, it just hurts. This woman looks shocked to see me, and then gives me a dirty look.
“You need to leave, Kelly,” Kade demands.
“Don’t bother,” I say, my voice small. I push away from Kade, and walk to the front door.
“Nikki, wait!” he calls out, storming after me.
“Kade!” Kelly whines, grabbing onto his arm. I see Kade glance down at the woman in disgust.
Kade lifts his head, our eyes connecting.
His eyes are pleading.
Mine are vacant.
When our eyes lock, I see him flinch. Fuck him.
I open the door and walk out.
I know I shouldn’t be upset. We had no commitment, and he made me no promises. But still, it hurts. Just when I was about to let him in, something like this happens. Maybe it's a sign.
When I get home my phone starts ringing. It’s Kade. I hit ignore.
Then I get the text messages.
K- Answer your phone
K – Nikki, if you don’t answer I will show up.
N- Stop calling me, stop texting me. I was stupid to think we could try this.
K- We can try this, Nikki. What did you think would happen when you kept avoiding me?
N – Stop texting me
K- No, we need to talk.
N-Fuck off, Kade, there is nothing to talk about. Not anymore.
K- Nikki, let me come over so we can talk.
N-For fuck's sake, Kade, I have shit to do, we don’t need to talk, leave me alone.
K- Tomorrow. We will talk, then.
N- Don’t count on it.
He doesn’t bother replying back, knowing I’m not going to give in. Not this time.
Chapter Seven
Kade is leaning against my car, waiting for me as I walk out of my house dressed for my first day of internship at Regal Public Relations. I’m dressed professionally in tailored black pants and a white blouse. My hair is tied in a severe bun and the high black pumps I decided to wear are already hurting my feet. Kade gives me an appreciative once over but I’m not impressed. Not this time.
“What do you want, Kade?” I deadpan.
“About yesterday, Nikki...”
I cut him off. “Yesterday was enlightening. You set me straight, so thank you, Kade. You put my priorities in order for me. Now I have to get to work, not all of us are obscenely rich.” I move to my car door, but he doesn’t budge. He just stares at me with those deep baby blue
eyes.
“Let me go, Kade,” I say softly. My sentence has two meanings and he knows it.
“I don’t think so, Nikki. Look, I wanted you so bad, still do; but you were pushing me away at every turn. When you didn’t answer your phone for a week, I was like fuck it, if she doesn’t want me, other women do. I fucked up, okay, but do you think I like getting rejected over and over again by the only woman I have ever considered anything even slightly permanent with?” he says heatedly.
“We’re cool, Kade, okay? But really, I gotta head to work. I've heard that my boss is an ass-hole,” I say honestly.
“Okay, but this conversation isn’t done, Nik,” he rumbles, placing a chaste kiss on my temple before returning to his Hummer.
This conversation is definitely over, because I think Kade and I are better of being friends.
Or so I kept telling myself.
******
The following weekend, Layla invites me to her family get together. Being around Kade sucks but we all ride together because of the distance. On the ride over I can feel Kade staring at me in his rearview mirror, but I don’t talk to him. Instead, I make small talk with James the whole time.
When we get to the Crawford residence, Layla’s mum runs up to us and gives us warm hugs. I love Layla’s mum. She didn’t like me at first, considering the first fight I got into she happened to witness. Once she learned it was because some girl was being mean to Layla and I was defending her, she warmed up to me.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Layla’s cousin Sasha walking towards us. I begin to brace myself because we never did make up after our last fight. Before I can go into full lock down mode I notice that James and Sasha are staring at each other in shock, like they know each other. I see Sasha narrow her eyes, and clench her fists, her pink manicured nails digging into her palms.
“What are you doing here?” she asks in a dangerous tone. Out of nowhere, an awkward silence descends upon us, and before I can organize my thoughts to question what’s going on, James decides to leave. There's a story here. More mystery with James- no surprise there.
I see Ryder stride over looking like sex on a stick.
“Nicole, long time no see,” he says with a cheeky grin.
I can feel Kade hovering around, but ignore it, I grin back at Ryder. “Apparently not long enough, Ryder.”
Ryder’s grin turns into a killer smile. Kade tries to grab my hand, but I pull it away. Even though deep down I want Kade, he’s lost his chance.
I spend most of the time talking to Ryder, and glaring at Layla’s cousins who are flirting with Kade. Why does Layla have so many attractive people in her family? Every so often I notice Kade staring at me.
On the way home Kade and I are forced to sit in the back together. Great. Just what I need.
Not wanting to give him any of my attention, I manage to get Layla to talk to me the whole way home. I had hoped that Kade would take the hint, but apparently he didn’t because every once in a while his hand creeps onto my leg, and I have to quickly brush it off. After the fourth try, I swear he growls and looks like he's going to punch something. For the rest of the trip he just stares out of the window. Chase drops me off at home, and I jump out before Kade can say anything else.
******
The next weekend, Simone, a co-worker of mine, invites me out for drinks and dancing. With Layla spending all her time with Chase, I need a new partner in crime and Simone fits the bill. Blonde, blue eyed with a model's slim figure, Simone is a lot of fun, and almost as wild as me.
“Want another drink, Nikki?” she yells over the music, motioning to the bar. I nod.
An hour or so later I’m dancing with some random guy, having a good time. “Whistle” by Flo Rida is playing, and I’m grinding against my dance partner when all of a sudden I feel two large hands grip my hips and pull me backwards, slamming me into a hard chest. I tilt my head and stare into the familiar baby blue eyes of a very pissed off Kade. I gulp. In an instant he spins me around so I’m facing him, and suddenly his lips are on mine. Urgent, yet gentle at the same time, his firm lips devour mine. And fuck me if I can’t get enough. He moans low in his throat before pulling away.
“Fuck, Nikki. Let’s go,” he says gruffly.
Not even thinking twice, I nod in agreement. I need this, I need him.
I quickly shout to Simone that I’m leaving. She notices who I’m leaving with and winks. I told her all about Kade, and she keeps giving me this lecture about how I need to get over my issues and just go for it.
“Call me tomorrow,” she mouths. I nod.
Kade chuckles, and then leads me out the door. “Now, Nikki, I’m going to open the door for you, no lip.” And he does just that. We’re quiet on the ride to his place, but he doesn’t move his hand from my leg. Every time I shift, he tenses, probably thinking I’m going to change my mind. We pull into the driveway, but before we get out he looks at me.
“Is this ok?”
I hesitate, and then nod. He hops out and comes to my door, running around the car, so he can get to it before I do.
We walk into his house and head straight for his room. Layla isn’t here because she's been staying with Chase at his place lately, which means we can be as loud as we want. As soon as we stumble into his room, Kade pushes me against the wall, while our tongues continue to dance with one another in a passionate embrace. I moan loudly as he pulls back to rip open my shirt. With hooded eyes, I watch him as he begins to slowly kiss his way down to the swells of my breast.
“Fuck, Nikki,” Kade growls out, coming back to pay attention to my mouth. He lifts me up and my legs automatically wrap around him. He undoes my bra then flings it across the room as he moves me to the bed. Roughly throwing me down on to it, Kade immediately begins to kiss a wet trail down between my breasts towards my stomach, finally stopping at the top of my skirt. He darts his tongue out to trace slow circles on the sensitive flesh of my lower stomach, while he tucks his fingers into the waist band of my skirt and yanks it down roughly. I hear him suck in a breath. “Why the fuck are you not wearing any underwear?” he hisses in question. Before I can answer him, his mouth is on me. Oh god, that feels good. He takes my swollen clit into his mouth and sucks, and I shatter seconds later. Without warning he’s inside me, thrusting hard and fast. After he quickly works my body into a frenzy, he starts to slow down, alternating between kissing my bruised lips and planting sloppy kisses on my neck. It's torturously slow and sweet, but I want it rough, so I dig my nails into his back, and he grunts his approval as he bites down on my shoulder and picks up the pace once more. I can feel it coming again.
“Kade,” I whisper huskily. Then it hits me, the biggest orgasm I have ever had. He pulls out of me, obviously not finished yet, and flips me around so I’m on all fours. Again he’s back inside me, hard and fast. It’s not long before I have another orgasm, this one coming out of nowhere. We come together this time, and he groans out my name as he shudders his release. He rolls me over onto my back, and comes over on top of me, kissing me softly.
“Nikki, stay this time. Don’t run off.” As soon as he says that, I snap back into reality.
“Kade, please, let me go,” I tell him.
“No, Nikki, I want you to stay. What’s the big deal?” Kade questions.
“Please, Kade, just please,” I’m begging now. Pathetic.
Emotions cross over his face. “You can trust me, Nikki, whatever it is.” Fuck, is it that obvious there is something wrong with me? I quickly call a cab, and am immensely relieved when they say they will be here in five minutes. Kade reluctantly walks me to the door after I’m dressed and waiting. “Nikki, you don’t have to go,” he whispers, pulling me into his arms.
“Sorry, Kade,” I mumble, running out when the cab pulls up.
KADE
I watch her practically run to escape me. And it hurts. It. Fucking. Hurts. I know she has her own demons, and I want to find out what they are. Help
her, let her know that no matter what it is, I will always be there to fix things, make them better. Make her better, happier. I understand now why Chase went so crazy for Layla. Why he fought so hard. Because at the end of the day, nothing else matters. I want Nikki, by my side. To go to sleep with, wake up with, and everything in between. I know Nikki is the woman for me, now I just need to convince her. To get her to let me in, let me prove myself. Prove my worth. It will never be over between Nikki and me.
Chapter Eight
NIKKI
After our night together, I’m feeling more confused than ever. It’s clear the sex between us is phenomenal, there's definitely no issue there. We have chemistry- a spark. I ignite every time he's near me. If it was just sex between us that would be fine, but boundaries are being crossed, and I don’t really know how to handle that. Do I want him? Yes. But am I willing to lower my guards and put myself out there with him? No, I’m not.
He tries calling the next day, but I don’t answer. Looks like I'm back to playing the avoidance game. I really need to get over this. I’m Nikki, I don't usually avoid situations, I confront. But what is it about Kade that has me so fucking freaked out?
Layla calls me up and says she's coming over. When she pulls into the driveway, she’s not alone. Chase is with her. When a Hummer pulls up behind them, I curse. James and Kade. Shit. I walk up to Layla.
“What’s going on?” I ask slowly, drawing out each word.
“Go get ready, we’re going somewhere,” she says with a grin.
******
I’m sitting in the back of Kade’s Hummer. I don’t know how I got talked into this, but we’re all going to visit his mom because their dad has been busy with work and she’s been feeling lonely. We pull up to the house, it’s beautiful. As we start to get out of the Hummer, a petite, blonde older woman comes running out to greet everyone.