by TW Brown
“It is an entirely different thing when you lose sight of those walls,” Billy said in his usual gruff tone. “And that is also why I wanted to talk to you alone. If you want, I can send Paula. If it gets a bit too much, you can come back. Nobody would think badly of you.”
I looked back and forth between the two men. Even Jim had lost that smile. I am certain that was the first time that I had ever seen his face when he wasn’t at least sporting a lopsided grin.
“What am I missing?” I wasn’t getting scared if that was their intention. Actually, I was more curious than ever.
“You have been in this place for the majority of your lifetime. I am willing to bet that you don’t remember too much about what it was like out there,” Billy said, his voice now had a very uncharacteristic softness. “Once you get away from this place, it is an entirely different world. The closest community was Island City. Something took that place down. If it was a herd, that is one thing. However, we do not believe that it was zombies.”
“If it was people,” Jim picked up the narrative, “then they are bad…real bad. It has been a while since any of us had to kill a living person, but those of us who have done so…it sticks with you forever.”
“And you think this is living people who took out Island City?”
I had never been there, but I had heard the stories. While we were certainly advanced as far as communities were concerned, Island City was like a fairy tale. If you believed the stories, they had electric lights that ran night and day. There was a market that was rumored to be almost the size of five of ours lined up.
Sometimes the trade caravan would arrive and you could get this stuff called ice cream. Melissa had surprised me with some chocolate ice cream on my fifteenth birthday. That had been the first time (at least as far as I can recall) that I’d ever had chocolate…much less chocolate ice cream.
“We are almost positive,” Billy said.
“So, if you guys were going to get all worked up and try to scare me, why put me on this run in the first place?” I snapped. I mean, it was obvious what they were trying to do, and it was really making me angry.
“Because I told them you were ready,” another voice called from the doorway. I turned to see Paula Yin standing there.
Paula had very pretty Asian features that made her look almost delicate. She wasn’t. More than one guy had learned that the hard way. She was dressed in cutoff jeans, but it was the faded and tattered tee shirt that had the picture of (of all things) a zombie on it that got my attention.
“Dawn of the Dead?” I asked with a tilt of the head.
“Huh?” Paula seemed confused for a second, and then she looked down at what might have once been a dark green shirt. Now it was sort of pale, and even threadbare in spots. Also, there was a nasty stain on the left shoulder. “Oh!” Her eyes brightened and she had a wicked smile when she looked up.
“That movie was hilarious,” Jim muttered. “Didn’t much care for the remake. Thank God those things can’t run. I still love that opening scene when that little girl goes skidding down the hallway and then pops up to her feet.”
I noticed him shiver just a bit, and I tried to imagine a zombie that could run…much less pop up to its feet. That would suck.
“As I was saying,” Paula spoke up, breaking the mood and bringing things back to where they belong, “you are ready.”
“So why are these two trying to scare me…or whatever the heck that was they were pulling with the whole thing about the outside world being so full of danger?”
“Oh…don’t get me wrong.” Paula pulled a withered piece of unidentifiable dried fruit from her pocket and nibbled on it, washing it down with a swig from her canteen. “It can be hellish out there at the best of times. Every single time I come back from one, I swear it is my last field mission.”
“But we stopped doing full field missions a long time ago,” I pointed out. The looks on everybody’s faces told me that might not be entirely true.
“We stopped announcing them,” Billy said.
He looked around the room like he expected somebody to pop out from behind something. I could not ever recall seeing him this…jumpy. Paula’s face was as emotionless as always, and Jim…well, you could never trust what you saw on his face.
“Then how have you been doing it?” I asked. “And how have you kept it a secret? People here know how many times their neighbor uses the toilet. I find it a little hard to believe you could pull off sending out groups on full field missions without it being common knowledge.”
“Where do you think I go?” Jim asked with a straight face. “And how many times have you heard that Sunshine is out collecting herbal samples?”
“The key is to send folks out separately and have them meet up at a pre-determined location,” Billy said.
“Then why is this one different?” The room was suddenly so silent that my own breathing sounded loud in my ears.
“We think there may be something seriously wrong in Island City. If we are correct, and if the reports from the initial observations are accurate, it could mean trouble.” Billy was pacing now, and I was officially nervous. “If our suspicions are true, then we will need the validation from an announced field mission.”
“I am coming with you,” Paula said as she came to stand beside me and put an arm around my shoulder. “I need to know now if you think you can kill a living person.”
I thought about that for a long moment. I looked from one face to the other. I really wanted to just say yes. My fear was that, if I said that I couldn’t, they would take me off the mission. It wasn’t that I was looking forward to killing a living person; it was just that I really wanted to go out there and see what the world was like outside of these walls.
Sometimes I had dreams. In those dreams, I saw this city…Seattle, Washington. I knew the icons like the Space Needle from some of the books in our library. I wondered what it would be like to go up in such a thing and be able to look around.
There are rumors that a small community of survivors turned that thing into a fortress and that they live there now. Of course, there are lots of rumors. You have to be able to separate the tiny slivers of truth from all of the garbage.
“Well?” Billy asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I could actually feel my shoulders slump just a little as the air leaked from my body and deflated me when the realization came that I had to tell the truth or risk the lives of other people…people like Paula.
“I don’t know.” It was the truth. I really could not say that I could kill another living person, but I could not say that I couldn’t either.
“Perfect,” Paula said as she gave me a hug. “Get your field gear prepped and ready, we leave early in the morning.”
I did not know what to say. And apparently they did not really care, because the three of them headed out the door. A rectangle of sunlight shone, and then it was gone. I stood there for who knows how long as I tried to make sense out of everything.
“Crap!” I blurted.
I had to get over to the garden to pick up Stevie. I hurried out the door and into the bustle that was everyday life here in Platypus Creek.
***
“Thalia!” Stevie called, a big smile on his face.
He was filthy from head to toe, his face smeared with enough mud that I knew a mud ball fight had to have taken place at some point in his day. I tried not to smile back, but it was just too hard to keep it in.
Folks that remember him say that little Stevie is the spitting image of his dad…our dad. Steve Hobart rescued me when the world fell apart. I wish I would have been a little older so that I could remember him better. I get flashes sometimes, but nothing more. Sadly, I get flashes of a lot of faces. All of them gone. All of them dead.
Steve and Melissa got married here. In fact, the hill where he proposed is where they built a little arch. That is where weddings are held. Most of the folks don’t know why, and some even complain because it is such a
hike, but the view is amazing and provides an excellent backdrop for a wedding.
“Are you ready to go?” I called.
Stevie looked around at the rows stretched out for several yards beyond him. He was working in the potato patch. Those made up a good portion of our diet since they were easy to grow out here and were filling.
“Sure.” He gave a shrug and patted a few of his fellow field workers on the shoulder as he passed.
“So…is it true?” he asked as he climbed over the small fence and made a futile effort to wipe his hands on his pants.
“Is what true?” I replied, jumping back as he tried to swipe at me with his muddy hands.
“Are you going on a field run?” I guess standing there with my mouth open was a good enough answer for him. “Promise to bring me back something?”
“Whoa!” I held my hands up. “How do you know about this?”
“Jenna Haynes overheard. She told me at lunch.”
That was a sad story. Unfortunately, it was a common one. Jenna was Billy and Katrina’s daughter. She is only eight years old.
She couldn’t have been much more than a year old when her mom went on a run and never returned. I think that would be a little worse just because you don’t really know. I at least know that Steve died. I know there was a funeral. I am pretty sure that I was there, but I have been to so many that I can’t pick his out from all the others.
Billy is not allowed to make a field run. The rule is that if you are a single parent, that you would only be considered for field runs in an emergency. If a child is lucky enough to have both parents, then only one can be out at a time. I think that bothers Billy the most…Katrina filled in for him because he was sick or something. That run where she disappeared was supposed to be him.
“And how did Jenna just happen to hear?” I asked.
“Because I was faking asleep,” a voice said from behind me, making me jump.
I turned to see a big, round face staring up at me with bright hazel eyes and hair cut in an almost boyish bowl cut. Jenna looked too much like her dad and would probably not ever be called cute or pretty. However, she also sported her dad’s body type. Most ten- or twelve-year-olds would not mess with Jenna Haynes. She was going to be a monster if she kept growing in this manner.
She had one other distinction. She was one of a handful of children born from two immune parents. Both Billy and Katrina had endured the horror of a zombie bite and survived. She was now part of a study being run by Dr. Zahn. Nobody really knew what the doc was looking for, much less if she had found anything up to this point, but she endured a monthly blood draw along with a few other things.
“So?” Stevie prodded, wanting to hear me confirm what he apparently already knew.
“It’s true,” I admitted.
“That is so cool!” the boy crowed. “You finally get to go out there like you always wanted. Promise you will bring me back something!”
“If I find anything cool, I will bring it back.” I glanced over to Jenna. “Yes, I will bring you back something also.”
The girl smiled big. I’d seen pictures of these things called Jack-o-lanterns. Why anybody would waste good pumpkin by carving it up like that, I have no idea. However, her smile immediately made me think of just exactly that. It was worse at the moment since she was currently missing two teeth: one top and one bottom.
“When do you go?” Stevie asked as the pair fell in beside me as I started towards home.
“You tell me,” I shot back. Jenna giggled.
“Does mom know?” Stevie ignored my response.
That was a good question. I know that Melissa had been pretty upset when I had enlisted. She and Paula had almost gotten into a fight that day. I was glad that hadn’t happened. Melissa was a great mom, but she was not much of a fighter.
“I guess we will find out.”
We walked down the trail that led to what had been the very first two-story apartments built within the compound. It had five upper and five lower units. I remember the day we moved in. I had my very own room for the first time ever. I think I stayed in there with the door shut for hours, just looking at the four empty walls, the footlocker, and the sleeping bag. It was like a castle to me.
I reached the gate and waved up to Gladys Rennard. She was three years older than me, but she acted like she was ten years younger. You could always hear her and her mom yelling at each other over one thing or another. I know she absolutely hated the fact that she had to stand gate watch.
Even though our apartment is within the main walls, it (just like the other ten that have been built so far) has its own perimeter wall. It is not as tall as the outer walls are, coming just to about my eye level, but the hope is that it would stand up to a wave of zombies should the perimeter ever be breached.
The gate swung open after a moment. Stevie, Jenna, and I exchanged secret smirks as he listened to Gladys struggle with the crank that had to be turned manually to open the gate. As we walked in, I instantly spotted Melissa on the side of the apartment fussing with the garden. She couldn’t grow mold in a damp dark room, but she sure gave it her best effort.
“You better tell Mom alone,” Stevie whispered. “I gotta go see what she did to my squash and beans.”
Just then, her head popped up and she saw us. Rising to her feet, she wiped her hands on her coveralls and started in our direction.
“Kids!” she called with a big smile.
Her face was etched with a lot of what people called worry lines, but it was still easy to tell that she had been pretty—and still was when she smiled. Her dark hair was starting to show streaks of white that stood out and looked like strands of silver in the sunlight. I have been told that people used to put stuff in their hair to hide that sort of thing. Seems rather silly.
“Hi, Mom!” Stevie and I called back.
“Jenna Haynes, you are getting to be so big!” Melissa wrapped us all in a hug as soon as we were in range.
“Thank you, ma’am,” the girl managed, her face smooshed into Melissa’s side.
As soon as the hug was over, Stevie slipped away towards the garden. I doubted that I would ever understand what he found so fascinating about dirt and plants, but I envied his ability to grow things.
“Are you staying for dinner, Jenna?” Melissa asked as she herded us towards the stairs.
That was another thing that was cool. Since we had been the first family to move in to these apartments, we’d had first choice. We took the apartment at the far left on the second floor. It was the largest one of all the other apartments. My room even had a small, round window that I could look out from and see the creek.
“No, ma’am,” Jenna answered. “Daddy said he will be by to collect me before dinner.”
Billy lived on the ground floor at the opposite end from us. His apartment only had two rooms and was the smallest of the bunch.
“I am going on my first field run!” I blurted.
I really wish that I was better at that sort of thing. Sometimes, my mouth just opens and stuff falls out of it before I have a chance to decide if whatever it was would be a good idea to say out loud or not. I knew by the way that Melissa’s face froze and her eyes went wide that I probably should have not broken the news quite like this. My biggest problem was that I just did not believe in beating around the bush, as the old saying goes. Much like a Band-Aid, I think it is simply better to give one sharp rip and be done with it.
When Melissa turned around, I took a step back. It wasn’t because she looked really angry, or that I thought she would hit me or something. Actually, it was because her face was totally blank. She was just looking at me, and there was nothing on her face or in her eyes that gave away how she felt in that instant. For her, that was pretty major. She had the worst time trying to hide her feelings because they were always so clear in her expression…even when (and actually, especially when) she tried to hide them.
“Is this why all of those people have been coming in and out
of Billy’s place at all hours of the day and night?” she finally asked, breaking the most uncomfortable silence that I think I had ever experienced.
“I guess.” That was news to me. I hadn’t noticed to be honest.
“And when you say you are going on a field run…” Her voice had grown softer until it eventually faded and I actually stood there for a few seconds before I realized that she had basically asked her entire question.
“Billy says that it is a full team, complete with scouts and a medic. We are going to check on Island City.”
It might have just been for a second, or it might have been just my imagination, but I thought I saw something flash across Melissa’s face. I knew she hated the idea of me going out there. She had not stepped outside of these walls since they’d gone up. Even more telling, once they finished our apartment and we moved in, she had not gone out of the walls to this place either except for community meetings.
When I had started going to classes, I always walked with some of the other children and their parents. I do have memories of her waking me up with her crying in the middle of the night. And I saw the way people looked at her when they did not think anybody was watching them.
I’d asked Billy about it one day. He told me that Melissa had been pretty messed up when Daddy Steve and his group found her. I guess it was Daddy Steve that helped her come back to normal. When he died, Billy said that Melissa never recovered.
“What is wrong with Island City?” she asked, but if her face was missing any emotion, her voice was even worse. It didn’t even sound human.
It sounded like that weird doll that I got for my birthday one year. I still have it, mostly just because of how creepy it sounds. It has blond hair and blue eyes that stare at you no matter where you stand. I know that the only reason I actually still have it is because I shoved it in the back of my closet after my birthday party and didn’t find it for almost three years. To this day, when it says, “Will you be my fwend?” the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.